Part eleven

She sat in the doctor's office for the result. She wanted to make sure if it was her or a mistake. The doctor walked in, "It has return, Nin. your cancer had return."
she was shock, "return. No...it can't. Doctor, am I gonna died?"
"I'm not sure. But I would like to do come more testing. How come you didn't come in."
"I don't have any symptom, except for having lots of headche and always tired and dizzy at the same time."
"you what?"
"Tired and dizzy easily," replied Nin. "Its nothing right?"
"I'm not sure. what I can do is do some scan on you."
"Not here. Is it possible for you to sent all my files to the hospital in Chiang Rai. I'm going back home."
"Sure. That would be fine with me." said the doctor.
"Thanks. doctor."

When she got to the shop, she went to the file holder and took out the file that contain the store information. "I don't know when I'm gonna died." she try not to cry. She took out a pen and sign her name on it.
"Nin" said mother Dawn as she walked in.
Nin looked up, "yeah?" she tried not to show anything
"What are you doing?"
"um...Mother Dawn, I'm going back to Chiang Rai for awhile."
"ok. when are you going to come back?"
She tried not to cry, but couldn't help it, "I'm not sure. I don't think I'm gonna return." she handed her the file. "If I don't turn, you and mother kana will be the owner of this shop. Please take good care of it for me."
"Nin, you will return right?"
"I'm not sure, mother Dawn." she walked back to the counter to get her stuff. "I know for one thing is that I will probably not return."

The doctor walked in, as Nin and her father(adopted father) was waiting for the result, "We are sure, you have brain cancer and the chance of living for you is 50, 50."
"That means, Nin is going to die?" said her father
The doctor nodded. "The tumor in her brain is growing as we speak now. She should have come when she started to have those headache."
"I didn't know it was gonna be a tumor. I though because I didn't have enough sleep." replied Nin.
"I know. Nin, this is how this cancer is. But don't worry, I'll try to do whatever I can to help you."
"doctor, may I ask something?"
"Sure, go ahead."
"How long am I gonna lived?"
"4 to 6 month maxiam."
"thanks." replied.

That night, they didn't talked with each other. Her father was in his study room, looking at files to keep in busy and not think of Nin's cancer returning.
She walked in went and sat down by him "father, you said that you love me right?"
"yes, nin. I love you." as he tried not to cry, knowing that she's gonna died. "I love you very much as if you were my own daughter. Why must this happen. You won the first one. Now this one. What am I gonna do without you." as he cry.
She hugged him, "I'm sorry, dad. I wasn't able to protect my body from it. That's why it returns. I'm sorry. Father." she cried.
"Don't blame yourself. it's not your fault." as he wiped her tears. "Why god must punish you for something you didn't do."
"Dad, can you do me a favor?"
"Anything."
"please adopt another kid. I want to have a brother or a sister. Can you do that."
"yes. For you."
Chai was in the store, "What do you mean?"
"She's not here no more. she went home. She didn't tell us when she's gonna be back, beside for the fact that she might never return here anymore." said mother kana
Chai sigh, "man..." he turned to her, "If she ever come, tell her that I'm waiting for her alright."
"Sure."
So Chai walked out...on the way out, he met Mae. Mae looked as he walked out. He turned around. "Got a problem?"
Mae gave him a ugly look, "think you look good.. let me tell you Mr. Chai... you look dumb.... and no I don't have a problem. That answers your question." and walked in.

"Hi, mother Kana...and everyone." said Mae
"hi, mae, have you visit Nin lately?"
"No...what's wrong?" asked mae
"She returned home...saying...that she wants to be home for awhile, but sign us the shop."
"oh...I should check that out..." replied Mae... "will if she not home, I'll will be on my way and give you guys any news." and left.
Nin's father came by, "Mother Kana, Mother Dawn, are you guys in?"
"yes, come on in."
He entered. "what brings you here?"
he went and sat down across from them, "a favor for my daughter. She wants a brother or a sister..."
"So... your choice."
"I don't know."
Then Pat came in, "Mother Kana, Mother Dawn, is P'Nin coming back?"
"Not sure...Pat, greet Mr. Kanta the sponser of our shop."
"Hi, Mr. Kanta... do you know when P'Nin is gonna return?"
"do you want to visit her?"
Pat looked at him, "I would love to can I?"
"Pat..." said mother kana and mother dawn
"Pat...go to your room, we have to talk with mr. kanta first and we will let you know if you can go or not." said mother kana
"thanks." and ran to his room.

Mr. kanta looked as Pat ran into his room, "I'll take him."
"sure?"
He nodded. "I'm pretty sure about that."
"Ok. He is all yours after you fill out these papers."

Nin was taking a nap, when Mae came by, "Is Nin home?" she asked the maid
"yes, she's taking a nap." replied the maid
"Thanks. I'll wait for her then."
"sure. Make yourself at home."
"Thanks."
"would you like anything to drink?"
"no thank you. If i need anything, I'll let you know."
"ka." replied the maid and went to do what she's doing.


Part Twelve

Nin woke up with a jerk. She rubbed her eyes and went to open the curtain. She went to the door and open it and went downstair into the living room, she stopped at the door way, "Mae, what are...you doing here?"
Mae got up and walked toward her, "can I just visit my friend here?"
She smile, "I don't know. Tell me what are you doing here?"
"will." she walked with nin to the couch, "I went to the shop and they say you aren't there no more, you came home and I just want to stop by and see what you are doing. So what was the result of your last test."
She fake a smile, "Alright. I'm just tired and don't want to bother that bastard, so I decided to come home for awhile."
"oh... I see, that bastard came and he thought that i have a problem, when he is the one with the problem."
She laughed, "mae..."
"honestly, Nin, that guys is a totally jerk...big time too."
"Whatever... come on.." she said. "I want to show you something."

Chai slammed on the couch when he got home, "Chai, what's wrong?"
he sighed and looked up at his step mother, "I don't know what's up with her. she went home."
"oh, that.. maybe she want some time off."
"I guess so too." said Chai, "I'll have to wait."

"Mr. Kanta, your house is this big. Do you lived by yourself?" asked Pat
"No...I lived with my daughter."
"really, what's your daughter's name?"
"It's a surprised. I don't want to tell you."

"no, Nin, it's your favorite, why are you giving it to me?" said Mae
"Please Mae, take it. I want you to have it. if you don't, that means you don't considered me as your friend. Please keep it for awhile for me alright."
"fine. just this time alright."
"ok. thanks."
nin hand mae her necklace.
Then there was a knock on the door, "Who is it? come on in."
the maid open the door, "Your father is home."
"Thanks." replied the Nin, "I'll be right down."
"So who is back??"
"father." said nin
"oh.." said Mae
as they walked downstair

"So who is your daughter??? how does she look like?"
"She look pretty... I love my daughter very much."
"cool...I wish my parents love me that much."
"don't worry, I'll love you like my son...I adopted you so i'll love you."
"Thank Mr. Kanta."
"Father. please." said Mr. Kanta

Mae and nin walked down the stair
"dad.." said Nin.
Pat turned to look around... "P'nin..."
"Pat..." shouted Nin as she ran and hugged him, "How are you??"
"fine...I have a new daddy."
"Wow...really."
"yeah.."
"and you are going to be my little brother..." said Nin...
"anyways nin, i got to go now..."
"ok..." said nin
so Mae left...


It had been a while, nin and pat spend so much time together, while nin is forgetting about her cancer. Her father tried to make the best for her until whatever her fate brings her to. Until one day....
Nin and Pat were walking home as usual from the backyard, when her head beginning to hurt and she doesn't have the strength to go on. she felt her forehead with her hand and her vision begins to blur. Within minute, she fall down on the ground.
Pat was walking ahead asking questions, when there is no answer. So he turned back to see what was taking her so long to answer, and there, he saw her, going down..."P'NIN" he yelled as he ran up toward her and tried to help her up... "Are you ok???"
Nin couldn't heard what he was saying and fainted right where they were.
Pat got scared and ran inside, "Father, P'nin fainted."
They ran outside to check on her and carry her to her room.

At that time, Mae also came by and saw that it was a rush to the kitchen and upstair. She looked confuse... "Excuse me.." said Mae
A maid stop, "Mae, thank god you are here, Nin had just fainted for no reason."
Mae was surprised and rushed to Nin's room. "Uncle, Pat...what happen?"
"I don't know... All I know is that I was talking to P'Nin and when i turned back, she faint and fall down on the ground."
Kanta looked at Mae, "Can we talk..."
Mae nodded...
So they left the room... "What is it uncle?"
"It had return."
"what?" asked Mae
"Nin's cancer had return. It had since she return from the city. She didn't want me to tell anyone about it. That was the reason why I went and took pat.... She wanted a brother or sister... I want to make it the best for her, but I guess...Time is running fast and I'm losing her.."
Mae shook her head, "you lied. It's not true. Tell me it's not true" as she begin to cry...
"I'm not kiddling..Mae..."
She went down on her knee and sat on the ground, "Why must god punish an innoccent girl for something she didn't do.. Why?"
"I don't know Mae..Please don't tell anyone. If you want, you can go and inform mother kana and mother dawn or call and inform them. they would want to know about nin too."


Part Thirteen

~~~~~~~~DREAM~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She walk back to the old house that she used to live in. It was very foggy a night. "Mother...mother" a voice was nearby.... "mother where are you??? Are you coming back for me???"
"Who is this?" yell Pinipa...
But the voice begin to faded away and she doesn't know where she were...."Who is this?"

~~~REALITY~~~~~~~

"who is this?" she woke up with a jerk.
Her husband looked at her, "Are you alright?"
She nodded and went back to sleep thinking, could it be my daughter??? I got to go back for her..

The next day, at the breakfast table she begin, "I have something to say."
"ok.." said Chai and his father.
"its about me... I lied."
"what do you mean?" ask chai's father
"remember when you ask me about if i have any children from my previous marrried and i say no. it was a lied. I had a daughter.. who i left in the orphan and promised to go back, but i didn't go back." she tried not to cry. "I'm sorry."
Chai and his father weren't surprise. "Its ok..." said chai's father, "where is she?? We can go get her."
"yeah...I want a sister too."
"The thing is that i don't know where she is."
"We can go find her, what's her name?"
"Ninda...I named her Ninda. She at the orphan house by the flower shop. her father died already..."
"We can always go check, come on."

so they went to the flower shop that day.
Everyone was doing something, "Excuse me is mother kana or mother dawn in?"
"That would be me over here." said mother dawn.
"hi..." greeted the family
"hi...how can i help you?"
"We are looking for someone." started Chai's father.
"and who that person be?"
"My daughter, Ninda, mother..."
"I'm mother dawn...your daughter.."
"yes my daughter.. can you tell me where i can find her?"
"i..."

Mae look at the sign... she dried her tears, before she walked in. Her eyes were red from crying on her way here. she doesn't know what to said to them. she opened the door, hoping that know one notice she had cry...
"I can go look it up... I mean...if she was almost 16 years ago...I doubted that its impossible but i'll try to find out for you." said mother dawn.
"thanks...I really appreciate it..." said Pinipa...
"What about nin is she ever gonna return to the shop?" asked Chai..
Mother dawn look up from where she was... "Mae, whats wrong, why are you crying?"
Mae, try not to explose... "mother dawn....Nin..nin.."
Chai and his family look up at mae.. "Nin what?? Thought you don't have feeling."
She gave chai the evil look, "I'm not talking with you. I'm talking with mother dawn." replied mae
"Mae, whats wrong with nin?" asked mother dawn.
"Do you and mother kana want to go to Chiang Rai with me to visit nin and pat?"
"Is there a problem."
"If I came this far, don't you guys think that there will be a problem that's why i came this far?" she took a deep breath.."She's.. very...sick.."
"Oh my god...it's not what i think right?"
"It is... she only have...not a long time. Mother dawn.." said mae.
"What do you mean?" asked Chai.
"uncle gave me this message to give to you to give to her parents... one person can only live a life...if they died, they will not remember their past.. death is forever...they will not gonna return... and if that mother and father still care for their daughter, they should go and visit her before she died. The doctor already concluded that she's dying since she got home and that's the reason why she went back home. Mother dawn this time she's diagnose with brain tumor, not leukemia again.. if it's leukemia she'll be here by now... but it's a brain tumor and everyone knows its a 50/50 chance." she finished. "mother dawn she wanted to see you and mother kana."
Mother dawn was surprised, "Why didn't she tell me before she left for Chiang Rai."
"She dont' want you to worry about her. I didn't even know until now, when uncle told me that she's dying of brain tumor."
she cried. "I want to do something..but i can't...As it seens the only thing i can do is tell all the people she loves that she's dying...why must god have to punish her for something she doesn't deserve. Mother dawn. please go visit her. the doctor came and also concluded that if she live pass tonight. she won't tomorrow morning."
Pinipa felt like her heart is getting hard as stone. Hoping that it was not her daughter. "Is she my daughter?"
Mother dawn nodded. She knows it was true, only nin who was the stubborn one that don't want to tell.
Pinipa felt like something had stabbed her in the heart "my daughter is sick...and dying.." said pinipa. "It can't be...mother dawn, you said you are gonna find out about her and now you said she's the ninda that own this store and dying...Are you sure?"
Mother dawn nodded. " she told me not to tell you the truth i was going to call her and let her know, but guess time won't wait. Go and visit her before she go." she turned to look at mae, "will you take them? And we will get ready to go soon."
Mae then realized when nin said that she can't love him...because... "Chai...and nin are like step sister and brother???"
Chai was surprised. "That can't be, Nin can't be my step sister....I love her more than a sister."
Mae shook her head, "She is your step sister."
"Mae is right, sorry, Chai."
"That doesn't really matter right?" said Chai... "If i love her, you guys will let me right???"
they didn't answered.

Part Fourteen END

Pat and Kanta was sitting on Nin's bed, waiting for her to awake, finally, she awoken, "father and pat..."
"P'nin, are you awake, come on, lets go to the pond and catch some more fish."
Nin shook her head weakly, "I can't, go and have fun."
pat begin to cry, "p'nin, come on, lets go play. you promised to play with me. come on, p'nin. come on, get up...lets go play some more. you promise to take me around the city...didn't you..."
nin hugged pat with tears, "I'm sorry, pat. I can't, ask mae, tell her it's from me...she'll take you. i can't i'm sorry.." as she... "Honestly. i can't. please be good to father and take care of him for me...for us...please do so. i love you very much pat. Father i love you too..."
He took hold of her hand, "I love you too, Nin, I'm sorry, I can't do anything to cure you. I wish it was me instead of you."
"Don't said that father. it's not your fault. You did your best. I wished i could repay for all the good deeds you did to me all my life." as she closed her eyes.

Chai was in the passenger sit, "Are we there?"
Mae turned to look at him, "No."
Pinipa hold on, Chai's father's hand...
"It's ok, Pinipa. Its ok..."
"I'm sorry, I didn't know that my daughter was going through. I don't know that she's going to be diagnose with leukemia. I should had thought that her father died of cancer, means its in her genes too. what am i gonna do. i don't want to loose my daughter again."
"Will then you shouldn't have left her there." said mae "If you really love her why did you leave her there to suffer?"
"I didn't know." cry pinipa.
Mae turned and honk at a house.
"Are we there?"
"Yeah..."

Pat in the living, eating his food, but he doesn't feel like eating, kanta wanted him to eat, he can go in nin's room after eating, but he didn't eat, just play with his food.
"Eat up, Pat."
pat look at the maid, "I don't feel like eating. I want to be with p'nin. I'm scared i'm going to lose her." he cried
Maid sat with him, and gave him a hug. "It's what life is about. It's her time. We all are scared about losing her too years ago. but she won that battle and now, she's losing."
"Really."
"yeah. we all hope and prayed that she'll get better and she did. but...again...we don't know the future. She might even reborn as your daughter. Did you know that?"
He shook his head. "Why does p'nin have to died. I don't want her to died. I loved her. She's the only one that loves me and cares for me. Tell me, can you." he cried harder.
"pat.." the maid hugged him... "Don't cry. nin wouldn't be happy if you cry. even if you are upset, pretend that you are happy, so that she's not upset." he nodded, "I don't want to eat."
"ok...I'll make you something, so whenever you are hungry, just some and eat it alright."
He nodded...
"Pat..." yelled mae
Pat turned to look, "P'mae, you are back. mother dawn, mother kana.." he ran and give them a hugged.
"How have you been?"
"fine. but...p'nin..."
"is sick, I know. where is she?"
"in her room. I'll show you guys the way." as pat lead them to nin's room.
Nin was coughing,
"nin, are you alright." said the maid came running to her,
She nodded, "Can i get some water, where is mae?"
"She..."
"nin...I"m right here." walked in mae "Guess what....I brought mother dawn and mother kana.."
nin look up at them, "mother dawn, mother kana.."
They went and hugged her, "how are you...we don't want you to be like that. you are strong...you can win."
she nodded and then shook her head..as her eyes begin to get heavy.
"Guess who came too? Your mother."
She shook her head, "my mother don't love me... she hates me..."
"No..." her mother cry, and ran toward her, "I love you. Nin, i really do. I'm sorry." as she took one of nin's hand and place it on her cheek.
"Wake up and talk with me. nin...i came back, wake up...don't died. please...wake up and talk with mom...please...nin...don't died.."
nin...opened her eyes and looked at her mother she touches her mother's cheek and smile...

Then entered Chai and his father. Chai saw nin and ran up to her side, "Nin, what's wrong. tell me what's wrong??"
Nin didn't answered him,
"Nin...wake up... you can't died. wake up... i love you nin....i really do...wake up..." he cried..
nin turned to look at him and felt his cheek with her other hand...
he took hold of her hand... "you can't died."
She slowly closde her eyes...and her breathing begin to died.
"NIN...NIN...WAKE UP..." cried chai "YOU CAN'T DIED, NIN, WAKE UP..."
but...nothing came from her...
"She died." said kanta.

~~~~~~~Chai's point of view~~~~~~

As I watched nin's body begin to burn, I wonder to myself, will i ever love anyone as much as i love nin. the girl that i first met when i hit her bumper and she forgave me. she didn't call the cops on me... will i ever love anyone more then i loved her. she was the first girl that i ever cried for. i love her and always will i told her once, but she ignored me. she knew that i was her step brother but she kept it a silent. she said all those hurtful words to my step mother just to hurt her feeling. if that day i knew that the doctor was going to tell her that her cancer had return, i would be there for her all the time and not part from her, but i guess i didn't know. why must she died. the daughter of my step mother...the step sister/lover of mine.

it makes me wonder, how would i feel if my mother left me like her mother left her, will i be able to survive like her or what will become of me? I may never know.

after the funral, mae handed me a letter written by nin that was supposed to give it to me after she died. what i'm really happy about is the last phrase of the letter, "I love you and always will but i know we can't be together this life time. hope that we will next life time. I love you...forever..."

as long as i know that she loves me too... is all the counts. now she's gone. and i'm left to be alone. I guess this is my life.

~~~~~Chai's point of view end~~~~~
he walked into his room with nin's picture he framed her picture and hung it on the wall front of him, He stared at her picture, seeing her smile makes him smile with it....

~~~~~Chai's point of view~~~~~
AS i stared at her picture, it makes me wonder...many things about her, what her life means to her...does it meant everything.. or what...I wonder about my own life, is this the life of ninda...or what....finally I've come to conclude that it's ninda's life. not anyone...but ninda and only ninda. the love of my life.....
The end