JC and Nikki laughed and smiled a lot as the night went on. They ate their food and then spent the majority of the rest of the time talking about how the guys careers had totally blown up and everything that they had done. JC didn’t ask anything about Courtney, or her father. He didn’t even bring up the evening that ruined his life, until this night.
“I’m really glad you are back,” JC said and then put his hand in the middle of the table.
“I’m glad that you’re glad,” she said with a smile and then placed her hand on top of his. He rubbed his thumb over the top of her hand and watched the way that her eyes lit up by the mere touch of his skin. “Thank you for asking me to come tonight.”
“Thank you for taking the invitation,” he said and smiled a smile from ear to ear.
Nikki laughed and said, “okay, we need to stop this. We are repeating one another and just turning it around a little.”
JC laughed in return and said, “okay okay. I’ll stop if you stop.”
“Well I’ll stop if you do too.”
The both of them laughed in unison and then stopped as their eyes locked in place. JC licked his lips ever so slightly and then looked down to hers, and then back to her eyes. Slowly he leaned forward, as did she. A mere second later Nikki felt the warmth of JC’s breath fan across her lips, and then the tenderness of his skin meet hers. Their lips melted together for they were trying to make up for two years worth of love, in one simple kiss filled with hope and passion.
As they both pulled back a look of awe took over their faces. It had to have been the most remarkable kiss either of them had ever had. “What time are Joey and Ann expecting you back?” JC finally managed to say.
“I didn’t give them a time. Why?”
“I was kind of hoping that I could invite you over, for a glass of wine or something.”
“I’d love to,” she said with a smile. “But I can’t stay for too long. I don’t want to take advantage of Joey and Ann’s kindness.”
“Alright,” he said and then laid out the money on the table and took Nikki’s hand and headed for the door. The feeling that was taking over JC was one that he hadn’t felt in a long time. It was a feeling that only Nikki could give him, and it was one that he didn’t want to lose or take for granted ever again.
Nikki and JC walked into JC’s place and she turned slowly towards him as they entered the living room. Her heart was beating like it never had before. JC sighed and slowly blinked his eyes as he moved in closer to Nikki. He reached out his hand and put it on the small of her back and pulled her in closer to him. He locked his fingers with hers and started to sway from side to side.
Nikki closed her eyes in on JC’s and leaned it so that their lips met. The tenderness of his kiss and the soothing feeling of his tongue brushing against hers sent chills all through her body. She couldn’t believe that she was with him again. With the man that she never stopped loving. With the man that she based all of her choices on.
JC slid his hand down her back and began to lift the hem of her shirt. He looked to her eyes for the answer on whether he needed to stop or not. He wanted to be with her more than anything, but not if she didn’t feel one hundred percent the same way. Nikki batter her eyes back at him and then answered his silent question by running her soft and delicate hands underneath his shirt.
Nikki’s head gently hit the pillow and JC’s lips followed hers on the way down. He let his body linger over hers as he brushed his hands through her hair and ran his lips up and down her neck. “Are you sure this is okay,” he said in between a kiss here and there.
“It’s all I could ever want right now,” she said back and then ran her nails slightly up the whole length of his back. “You’re all I want JC.”
Nikki’s body trembled underneath his. He was the last guy that she had been with, and it had been a little over two years since then. Distance and time, sure made her heart grow fonder, and it made the evening even more special. She had been so alone without him, and now it felt as if everything were going to change.
“I’ve missed you so much,” JC said and then ran his hand up the side of Nikki’s arm. “I haven’t been whole without you here. The best things about this whole evening is that you are here with me now.”
“I love you JC,” she said with a comfort that she hadn’t felt in a very long time. Maybe he would be okay with everything and that she could tell him sooner than she had hoped she would be able to.
“And I love you Nikki,” JC said and then wrapped his arms tight around her and held her so close that she couldn’t ever leave him again.
A couple days passed by and Nikki and JC were spending more and more time together. Finally, Nikki felt that it was time to tell JC the truth, the whole truth. She couldn’t stand lying to him anymore, and she hated watching him with Courtney. He was so perfect around her and Courtney loved him to death. She loved him the way that she loved Lance, and that was a lot to live up to.
“JC we need to talk,” Nikki said as they sat at the picnic table in the park. Lance and Justin took Courtney and Steven out to the zoo that day, so it was just Nikki and JC’s day.
“What is it baby?” JC asked as he rubbed his thumb over her hand.
“JC,” she said and then stopped and looked down at their jointed hands on the table.
“Yes,” he said and leaned his head in as a way of telling her that he was listening.
“I have to tell you about the day that I left.”
JC cleared his throat and took a deep breath in and then let it all out. “Okay. What is it that you think I should know about that night?”
“JC, I never cheated on you.”
“But, you said you did, and that was why we couldn’t be together. Because you felt so bad.”
“I lied.”
“Nikki,” he started.
“JC I was afraid. I was afraid that you were going to leave me.”
“Leave you!” he shouted, and then let go of her hand. “Why would I have left you? You knew how I felt about you. I thought you felt the same way. Was I wrong? Did you lie about that too?”
“No. No JC I didn’t. I did very much love you. I still do.”
“What do you mean then?”
“I was just looking at pictures,” she started to stutter, “and... and I knew that you,” she felt a tear fall from her eye, “that you guys were getting big, and...”
JC broke in, “Nikki what are you getting at?”
“I didn’t want to ruin that.”
“How on earth did you think that you could ruin it?”
“Because of who I was at the time, what I was.”
“Nikki you aren’t making any sense! I don’t understand how you thought that leaving me, and then finding someone else, having their child, and then coming back, would make anything better. Why did you leave me?”
Nikki started to cry more and said, “JC I didn’t find anyone else. The other night with you was the first time I had been with anyone since I was with you.” Nikki’s lip crunched up and her palms began to sweat.
“But you said you didn’t cheat on me when we were together either. What about,” he started to say.
“She’s yours JC.”
“SHE’S WHAT?!” he exclaimed and stood up.
“Courtney is your child. I left because I was pregnant with her.”
JC’s whole face turned red. “You did what?” he said very angrily.
“I’m so sorry JC.”
“You were pregnant with MY child, and you left? How the hell could you do that?” he yelled and then stomped his foot. JC ran his fingers through his hair and clenched them tight as he reached the back of his head.
“I didn’t want to ruin your career. Little teenage girls wouldn’t want their favorite member to already be a father when the group starts out. They all want to imagine that they are going to be the one marring you.”
“What about what I want Nikki? Huh?! Do you think that I like this. For God’s sake I have a two year old girl that I knew nothing about. How am I supposed to feel?”
“I... I just,” she said.
“You just what?” he said in a stern voice.
“I was just thinking of you.”
“Well I guess you aren’t as smart as I thought you were Nikki. I thought you would have known me better. Known that I would love both you and our child. But no, you doubted me. You didn’t trust that I would be there for you.”
“JC, you’re taking it all wrong,” Nikki tried to yell out.
“I am taking nothing wrong Nikki. You deprived me of so much. Of... Of listening to you groan about what you were urging, and how you thought you were fat. Of being a father to an infant. Of being in the room when you gave birth to her. Of hearing her first words and watching her take her first step.”
“JC I am sorry. What else do you want me to say?”
“You know what... I don’t know Nikki.” Nikki got up and tried to touch JC’s arm. JC swung his arm back and said, “I don’t even want to touch you right now Nicole. Just ... UGH,” he said and then turned around and then did a three sixty and turned back. “Do the guys know?” he asked. Nikki was silent. “Answer me Nikki!”
“Yes,” she said quaintly.
“Yes?! You mean my best friends knew that I was a father before I did? How could you do this to me!?”
“Lance dragged it out of me, and when I told him, I guess Joey over heard. And then he and Ann got back together, and she was my nurse during the delivery. And Justin, well he just showed up once and I had to tell him. Chris, well I guess one of the guys blurted it to him. That, or he doesn’t even know.”
“I can’t believe this,” he said.
“Please don’t get mad at them. I made them promise me. They kept telling me that I needed to tell you. Justin set us up the other day at the pool. He was hoping that you would interrogate me and that I would spill.”
“I... I can’t do this right now,” he said and stormed off.
Nikki’s eyes filled even more with tears and she sat on the bench and burried her head in her hands as she leaned over the table. “I’m so sorry JC. Please forgive me. What I did isn’t fair for what Courtney will have to go through without having a father. I’m sorry,” she said once again and then shut her eyes and continued to hover over the picnic table.