Part Two
She and Maire had been friends for years, following each other around the state rather than move apart. They lived across the hall from each other. If she had been more awake she would have laughed, but it was 8am on a Saturday, and Maire knew better than to do this. “WHAT do you WANT?”
“Well good morning to you too! I just thought I would come say hi...”
“I am going to murder you, I promise.” Sharri grumbled as she closed the door.
“Oh yeah, and I got it.”
“What?” Sharri woke up instantly and opened the door again.
“I GOT IT!!!!”
“The externship? You got it?!”
The two hugged each other and began jumping up and down screaming. They looked and felt at that moment like 14 year olds. Neighbors began peeking out of doorways and shushing them, probably ready to call the police in the two insane women in the hall. Sharri pulled Maire inside and they hugged again. This was life-altering news, for both of them.
Maire was a 4th year medical student. She was sick of Illinois and wanted out so desperately that she had been trying for a year to arrange an externship in NYC. Her class grades had not been the best and that was holding up the process. But her clinical standing was impeccable. She was respected and loved by her peers and superiors and that had finally made the difference.
The phone had been ringing as she returned from her morning walk with Duncan, her terrier puppy. She had barely hung up the phone before she was banging on Sharri’s door.
“Wow...when do you leave?” Sharri’s face darkened slightly at the realization that Maire was going to leave.
“In 3 weeks, its all happening so quickly. I will only be there for a month so they are letting me stay in the NYU dorms. Will you watch my baby?”
“Of course! You know he loves his auntie Shar, dont you Duncan?!” The puppy leaped into her arms and began kissing her face.
“I have so much to do! Ugh...but this is so exciting...its what I’ve dreamed of.”
They talked for the rest of the morning, over breakfast, and planned out her move. She would be leaving most of her stuff there so it wasn’t too drastic, and Sharri made plans to visit the first weekend. As Sharri got online to book a flight, Maire sat back and smiled, her life was finally starting, and it was about time.
MC234: hey stranger
CowboyJ: hey you!!! what’s goin on?
MC234: well, looks like I am moving!
CowboyJ: you got it!!! way to go! I knew u would!
MC234: well, I had my doubts but now I know....NYC here I come!!!
CowboyJ: god its great to see you so happy...I’ve been really worried about u.
MC234: really? y?
CowboyJ: well, u have been so down lately...and when the call never came, I wondered if u would be ok...you stopped getting online and all....I missed u...=)
MC234: you are so sweet...I missed u 2...more than u know...
CowboyJ: really? hmmm....do I get a hug?
MC234: ::::HUG::::
CowboyJ: aww thanks!
Their conversation went on for hours. They talked about life, love, sports and politics. Maire had never met the man she considered one of her best friends. It was odd, she knew, but she had felt a connection with him right away. His name was Jim, at least that’s what he told her. She had met so many people who lied about their identities online that she had to be a little cynical, but for some reason she trusted him. They had met in a chat room last fall, when things were not going well for either of them. She was upset over the externship and he was having all kinds of problems with his boss, so many that he actually left the company. He never really talked much about work, all she knew was that he worked in the entertainment business and didn’t like it sometimes. She trusted that he was telling the truth about that, he knew more about music and movies than she did, and Maire prided herself on her stores of entertainment trivia. They talked at least once a day, and emailed when they couldn’t. She had many online friends, but very few she considered actual friends. She was constantly amazed by the dichotomy of the Internet. It was so cold and distant, without personal contact, but it was a place where you could achieve true intimacy. Online, color, sex, size and beauty were irrelevant, you spoke to each other soul to soul, for good or bad. She enjoyed the anonymity as well as the closeness of it all. He agreed wholeheartedly.
The man at the terminal smiled widely; he really had missed her. Just seeing that she was online could make his day, and seeing her happy was enough to make his week. He had never heard her voice, yet he could imagine it, soft and smooth, raising in pitch when she smiled and laughed, lowering when she was tired. His friends made such fun of his Internet obsession, but that’s what she was to him, an obsession. He could be himself around her, no facades, no trying desperately to be pleasing to everyone at all costs. He smiled as he remembered their first chat...she was fighting with people in chat rooms, trying so hard to be nice. She was so frustrated that it was impossible not to laugh at her pleas and mild insults. Even funnier was the fact that the preteens in the room didn’t even understand when she mocked them. He had started talking to her and they bonded instantly, a bond that had only gotten stronger.
MC234: Well gorgeous, I am beat and I have a lot to do tomorrow.
CowboyJ: Yeah, me too...I am so proud of you...you made my week!
MC234: I am proud of me too. lol...
CowboyJ: hey you should be, its ok to get a little cocky over this...you are gonna have such a blast
MC234: I know...I cant wait!
CowboyJ: well, it will get here before you know it....ok you get some sleep...give Duncan a kiss 4 me.
MC234: I will...nite nite sweet prince...
CowboyJ: :::kisses Maire’s forehead::: good night...
She smiled as she signed off. He always made her happy and tonight he just raised her spirits more. In her opinion the next few weeks couldn’t move fast enough. New York...city of dreams....it had no idea what was coming.
(5 weeks later, NYC)
"Shit...that’s me. Sorry mom, I have to go...I just got paged. Yes its probably important. Yes, I will call later...I promise....I love you too, mom....I gotta go....OK love to Dad....Bye."
Maire sighed as she pushed herself up off the bench. The week had been beautiful, especially for the city and she was determined to get outside when she could, even if it was only to get a hotdog from the vendor.
"Maria, you get a beep?"
"Yeah I did, ‘Tonio, isn’t that always the way!"
"Well here, have a cappuccino on me before you go, K?" Antonio sold coffee and pastries on the corner outside the building, and had become one of the lights of Maire’s life.
"Marry me ‘Tonio!"
"My wife wouldn’t like it Maria...but maybe someday!"
She kissed him on the cheek as she grabbed the coffee, and then walked briskly back to the hospital. NYC Med. Center was amazing. The facilities were state of the art and the building was huge. So much bigger than the hospitals she was used to. Maire had spent most of her time in rural hospitals and clinics and had loved it, but felt that she could truly benefit from a big city experience. Not to mention that she had dreamt of living in NYC since she was a child and had heard her first Broadway musical.
"BEEEEPP!"
"UGH!!! I heard you the first time!" She checked the number... psych... wonderful. She had been working with a group of teens in psych all week and they had been finally making some headway when one of them managed to attempt suicide with a pen he had stolen from her. Now she had to deal with the aftermath of that. Things like this just didn’t happen in the Midwest....at least not where she was from. Maire shuffled through the stack of charts she had picked up in the lounge, trying to find the chart on this kid. Suddenly...
"SHIT!!"
"Oh God! I am so sorry!" She looked up at the man she had slammed into, spilling her coffee all over him, herself and Mr. Macon’s chart. That face....the hair...the...oh God the Adam’s apple. It was...it was Lance Bass. And she had just doused him in hot cappuccino.
"Dammit! Look where you are going next time! Jesus!"
"Sorry....I am so sorry...Mr. Bass..." Maire was completely taken aback by his tone. He was wearing sunglasses, but she could swear she saw those eyes gleaming behind them.
"Oh wonderful, you know who I am....keep it down will ya? I am trying to not make a scene! Like that’s possible now." He pulled off the stained sweater, revealing a tight black shirt underneath. "Well...so you want something?!"
Maire blushed when she realized she was still standing there. His tone stung her. She was a fan of *NSync and had always wanted to meet any one of them, but Lance had always been special in her eyes. He was the sweet boy from a small town, and she related to that. Now here he was, standing in front of her, yelling at her. She fought back tears of embarrassment and disappointment, regaining what little composure she still had.
"No, sir. Again I apologize, but I have something to attend to. Good day." She turned and hurried away before she broke down in front of him.
"Nice one, man," said the large black man behind Lance, shaming him.
Lance tried to look at him, through swollen eyes hidden by sunglasses. He couldn’t see well, but the hurt and shock in the young doctor's voice was unmistakable. Of all the guys, he and Joey were probably the least likely to snap in public, but today had been one of the worst days of his life. Still, that was no excuse for his behavior. He wished he had gotten her name or even what floor she worked on, to attempt an apology. "Well, that’s a perfect end to my day."
He hung his head in shame as the two men made their way to the service entrance, where the car was waiting for them.
Justin looked at Lance as he climbed in the back of the Lincoln. "Woah, that bad today?"
"I don't wanna talk about it, ok?" Lance snapped.
Justin looked at him wide eyed - Lance was not one to use that harsh of a tone. Justin and JC blew so hot and cold at the world that a comment like that from one of them was no big deal. But from Lance...that was a very big deal. He knew that eventually his friend would let him know what was wrong, he was never one to keep things inside. "Alright man...but whenever you need to talk, I’m here...."
Justin knew not to push, Lance was not one to give up secrets easily. Although they had all clicked right away when the group got together, they were still learning about each other, and Lance was one of the hardest to crack. He wasn’t overly secretive or anything, but if he wanted to keep a secret, he locked it away deep. But that was one thing that made him such an amazing friend, because his loyalties ran just as deep. Justin looked at his friend, who just stared out the window, still wearing sunglasses, and said a silent prayer for whatever it was that was on his mind.
Lance couldn’t get her face out of his mind. That look of betrayal, from a woman he had never met, proved to him again just what a precarious situation they were all in. He had let his guard down, allowed himself to have a bad day, to get upset, and this is what happened. This was turning out to be an all around terrible day.
MC234: Hey there.
CowboyJ: Hey. What’s up?
MC234: Bad day....you?
CowboyJ: Same...what are the odds?
MC234: Hmm....you ever have one of those moments that you dream of and when it finally happens, it is so unlike what you expected that the dream is ruined?
CowboyJ: Yeah...I think I know what you mean...wanna talk about it?
MC234: Not really...it was just bad day all around...what happened to you?
CowboyJ: I let someone down....big time....
MC234: I am sure you could apologize....
CowboyJ: Not that easy...but I’ll survive...I always do....
MC234: Wow, aren’t we a pair...I can just hear the violins playing for us...lol
CowboyJ: lol...small ones....
After another 2 hours chatting, Maire felt better. Sure she was disappointed and sad, but she could give Lance Bass of *NSync the benefit of the doubt. He was human too, maybe he had had a bad day. But coming face to face with someone you look up to and watching the pedestal you placed them on crumble was a bit disheartening. She only hoped that his behavior was a fluke. Who cares! Its not like he is your friend or anything, he is just someone you like to watch and listen to. Get over it Maire, you are acting like a teenybopper. She scolded herself for her attitude and turned her attention back to the screen.
CowboyJ: Oh hey, my mom is on!
MC234: Tell her hi!
CowboyJ: Will do...
MC234: Hey, you chat with mom, I need to get some sleep, some of us have to go into work at 6 am
CowboyJ: Hmmm must be rough...I have tomorrow off! Jealous?
MC234: Shut up...think of me tomorrow while you veg out...
CowboyJ: I always think of you...
MC234: Awww...thanks....ok tell mom hi! Cya!
CowboyJ: Bye hon!
Dbass80: Hey baby, how is NY?
CowboyJ: Hard day mama....hard day....
Dbass80: Oh no...tell me all about it...
Diane Bass’s heart sank as she read her son’s messages. He was taking today’s events hard. She knew that the hospitals always got to him, but today had been especially hard. It killed her to have her boy so far away all the time. It wasn't that he was young, he was a grown man after all, but she still felt protective of him. When he left to join the group she had played the supportive mother but secretly she resented the fact that she missed so much of his life. He had grown up so quickly, she often worried about how his lack of a normal childhood had affected him. But she knew Lance was a strong man, and she knew he would handle this in his own way.
CowboyJ: I’ll be fine, I promise.
Dbass80: I know you will, baby. But a mom can worry can't she?
CowboyJ: Yeah...I guess so. Thanks for listenin...
Dbass80: That’s why I am here...you going out now?
CowboyJ: Yeah Joe and I are goin out, I think the other guys are joinin us later.
Dbass80: OK, be careful and have fun...I love you
CowboyJ: Love you too mama
A month in NYC flew by before Maire noticed, and soon it was time to return to Illinois for the match. The match is a huge event where medical students select and are selected by residency programs around the country. Although she was nervous, Maire knew that her time in NYC had given her an edge, a leg up on the others as it were. Now all she had to do was wait and see where she would match. Then the letter finally came.
"You are kidding?!"
"Nope, they actually want me!" Maire could hardly believe her luck. Her match letter had informed her that she would be spending the next 4-6 years in Orlando, Florida.
"So when I come visit can we go to Disney World?" Shar asked, joking to hide her sadness. They had only been separated for short periods of time, this was killing her, but seeing Maire so happy was worth it.
"Um...yah! I promise you can come stay whenever you want to, heck you can do your work from my place if you want!"
"OK great!"
The two hugged and Maire ran home to call her family and to e-mail her friends.
CowboyJ: So congrats again! I got your e-mail!
MC234: Thanks...my life is falling into place...finally
CowboyJ: Yeah, things are goin pretty well for me too...work is good...finally...
MC234: great! I have been praying for you...
CowboyJ: I figured you were...someone is on my side here...so, when do you start?
MC234: August 24...I move the 13th...I am so excited!!!
CowboyJ: Hmm...that’s awesome...
Lance sat back and sighed. He couldn’t deny that something was driving them together. But he also couldn’t bring himself to tell her. At this point she would either never believe him, or would be angry. And he would sooner die than upset her in any way. Orlando, what are the odds? He laughed at the irony of it all.
MC234: Hey, I wanna send you something.
CowboyJ: What’s that?
MC234: here...sent
He opened the e-mail...and smiled. It was her graduation picture, and she was beautiful. Her smile lit up her entire face and put a glow in the roundness of her cheeks. Her hair was a rich shade of auburn, not quite red, but not really brown. Her eyes were a clear blue and they sparkled with happiness. All this time and she finally sent him a picture.
CowboyJ: You are breathtaking.
MC234: Liar, You dont have to send one...I just wanted to show you.
CowboyJ: Thank you so much, you have no idea how happy this makes me...
MC234: I know. Well I have to go, I have my last set of rounds at 7.
CowboyJ: OK, nite beautiful...
MC234: Nite.
Maire exhaled slowly. She couldn’t believe she had sent the picture. She had been terrified about sending it. She had not lied to Jim about her looks, but she was still nervous about the picture. She wasn’t exactly a dream girl, and her size 14 body was often a turn off for guys. She had always thought she was pretty, but not beautiful, certainly not "breathtaking." If only he knew how hard it had been to send that picture. Like many girls her size she gave the impression that she was comfortable in her skin, but one condescending look, one remark, one unflattering picture, could shatter the illusion that she had created. By sending the picture to Jim, she had broken down the final wall around herself. She was totally exposed to him now, and it was liberating. Things were falling into place. Soon she would be on her way to Orlando...who knew what lay ahead.