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Cid's dodgy dealings

*Cid's selling his dodgy Russian porn videos on the streets of London...*

come on people! get a butchers at this!

YYYEEEEEHHHHHAAAAA! look at the baps on her!

ohhhh a naked woman... I've never seen one of those

Would it be because your butt ugly or your gay?

errrrrrrrrrrr..... a bit of both really.....weep weep

one gay porn for the butt ugly bloke it the cape trying to look scary coming up!

*Cloud & Vincent are mesmerized by Cid's goods*

WOW she likes women too! 

WOAH! jackpot! I'll take 20!

Red XIII: Got any animal porn?

sorry sonny but i just sold my last copy to that bloke over there...

ohhhhhhh horses! ohhhhhh eeeeeee goodie goodie... i gotta get home!

here ya are lads, do ya wanna see my SPECIAL goodies? 

YEAH YEAH YEAH ME ME ME! 

*switches on video...*

Hey! she's getting in the shower! ohhh she's hot!

hell yeah man! u know it!

hang on, i've seen that black skirt somewhere before....but where?

yeah i recognize her!...but who?

*They ponder for a few minutes*

TIFA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whoooooops!

ahhhhhh man, how could you? our friend for years!

sorry lads but im making a mint off her...wotta beauty!

i can't watch this!

Nor can I!

..............................well go on then, stop watching

my head says no but my eyes say YES YES YES!.........oh well, i wouldn't want to argue with  my eyes...

*2 police men plod around the corner*

Police man: hello hello, what do we have here?

Quick lads, leg it!

*Cloud, Vincent and Cid jump in the Nissan and speed away*

HAHA! you wont catch us now you fu*king pigs! HAHA!

here we go lads! i gotta short cut!, just down this road...

errrmmmmm.....did i say short cut? i meant dead end...

You pillock!

*Policemen catch up*

Policeman: What's in the car sonny?

Seats and a steering wheel....now piss off!

Hey officer, what would you do if i took a shit on your car?

Policeman: arrest you

what if i pissed on it?

Policeman: arrest you

what if i turned it upside down, crushed it into tiny pieces, put it down my pants, THEN shat on it?

Policeman: I'd arrest you

but what if i...

Policeman: I'd bloody arrest you! now shut up! and lay off my car!

humf! fine

Ok officers... how about we do a little business? I give you 2 off my best 100% above board *cough cough*  Videos. And you fuck off and forget about this little run in?

Policemen: hmmmmmmm....we want the Tifa video! 

DEAL!..........now fu*k off!

*later that night at home*

BBC Newscaster: We have finally found to of the most wanted criminals in England. They were dressed as police officers. Here's an interview with the real police man who caught them...

Real policeman: Well we caught them with their pants down......literally!     They were watching an illegal video entitled "Tifa's erotica shower nights"

ohhhhhhh...errrrrrrrr....look at the time! gotta go! bye!

Wait right there you dirty son of a bitch!

......................................oh shite!

*Cid's screams can be heard for miles as he is impaled in the basement by his nads* 

Now i've taken care of him its time for a shower

WOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!

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By Jazzman