There are a lot of adjectives you could use to describe entertainer extraordinaire Bob Downe, but lazy isn't one of them. Brizzie audiences were treated to his hilariously funny Millon Sellers show last September and now he's back with his Whiter! Brighter! Show.
When I spoke on the phone to Bob, it was 10.30 on a Saturday morning and he'd just got out of bed after a long, hard night's rehearsal. When asked how it was going, the response was an enthusiastic, "Fantastic! My producer was jumping up and down and clapping his hands and counting his grosses."
Oh, so maybe the hard working part has something to do with all the cash that comes flowing in, seeing as Bob's unashamedly kitschy, daggy performances bring in fans in their thousands these days. But what of the constant need for new material?
Bob says that during the Million Sellers tour, swhich lasted for two years, he was already hatching Whiter! Brighter! in his mind.
"I wanted to do a disco show with dancers, that's something I've really wanted to do," he says. "This has got enough disco to dislodge a mirror ball. Million Sellers was more rock and pop. This one's got I Love the Night Life, Last Dance, Boogie Wonderland, Disco Inferno.. get the idea? Kung Fu Fighting, Car Wash - it's a really funky, good time show."
People who saw Millon Sellers might've been amazed at the vast array of songs from the '70s which they recognised but had forgotten existed. I was curious if Bob had some sort of super-natural memory for such things?
"Yeah I do. And I had all those records as a kid. I was an obsessive record collector right from when I was a little boy in the '60s and I used to keep my own weekly charts. I loved al the music and they were my charts, what was my number one. My all time longest running number one was Bohemian Rhapsody for six weeks in 1976."
Well, that explains it. But what might need some explaining to younger fans is the cultural significance of Bob using Tony Bartuccio as the choreographer for this show. If you weren't watching late night TV in the '70s, then you wouldn't have seen The Don Lane Show conplete with the legendary Tony Bartuccio Dancers, the epitome of tack and vulgarity.
"Tony Bartuccio is an Australian legend," waxes Bob. "And the dancers were sexy, fast, furious, and that's what we are. Me and two beautiful dancers, Amber and Ashleigh. It's very risqué, we get lots of flesh… After years of taking the piss out of Tony, I've got him to choreograph my show and he's getting his own back. I can hardly walk.
Bob is, of course, the creation of his alterego and manager, Mark Trevorrow, who sometimes appears as himself on shows like GNW Nite Lite.
But with such a strong and popular character, it would be understandable if Mark sometimes felt that he was being swallowed up by Bob. But he insists that isn't the case.
"No, not at all," he says. "I love doing things as both. I'm always happy to do it as myself and s Bob. I mean, you wouldn't have Mark doing the Mardi-Gras.. it's got to be Bob."
And the main differences between them? "Bob is just so much more stupid. Mark's a bit clever for his own good, but Bob's so stupid he doesn't even know it."
Stupid might be a bit harsh, but lovably silly is just the way audiences love Bob, and Mark is not even tempted to retire the character.
"Bever. Never ever ever," he says emphatically. "What else would let me do what I do on stage - sing those ridiculous songs and dance those stupid dance steps, you know what I mean? And make up all those funny stories about the family.
"It's just a fantasy thing and you'd never let that go. Look at Barry Humphries, he's doing Dame Edna on Broadway 45 years after he invented the character. There's life in the old Bob yet, I can tell you now.
"And in the last years I'm only just hitting my stride, finding a national audience. We've sold our in Adelaide already and sold thousands of tickets in Brisbane. It's just going off. I'd hardly be likely to give up the character now. I've got a house to build anyway," he laughs.

Vicki Englund, Rave Magazine 22/3/00

Brand new show shall be known henceforth as 'Whiter! Brighter!' This all-singin', all dancin', "funnier and sexier" show is to be complimented by the Apple Fresh Dancers, with choreography by Tony Bartuccio. (The man behind many of the song & dance routines to be seen on In Melbourne Tonight, Don Lane Show and The Logies)

Eight nights in a row at the Tivoli. Some of your issues: how to get the grease and oil out of your dad's work pants, creasing your slacks for optimal slicing powr, and the simple pleasure of your first perfect load. A step up in the glamour stakes from his previous show 'Million Sellers'. Bunch of new and old hits and plenty of chit-chat. Described as "cabaret at its best." Bob Downe's manager/alterego Mark Trevorrow is on hand. Let's see…

Scene: How's rehearsals?
Mark: "Ohh very well, but a bit under the weather. I've had this gastric virus thing that's been doing the rounds in Melbourne. Shocker. Absolute shocker. And I would've been over it except for a little matter of the Mardi Gras on top of rehearsing the show".

I'm picturing Bob, hand on head, bolting for the nearest VIP portaloo between commercials.
There's a thing in show business called Dr Greasepaint. Dr Greasepaint comes and visits you and makes you alright for the duration of the performance. As soon as the camera switches off you collapse. It's been pretty ugly, actually, but I'll be alright."

You're on tour soon.
We open in Adelaide. We did a preview last night. It's pretty stressful doing a brand new show, as you can imagine. In this one I'm hurling myself around like I've never done before. 'Choreographed'. I normally make it up as I go along. I've got two dancers in this show with me. A boy and a girl. They're beautiful. They wear virtually nothing and are as sexy as, there's something in this show pretty much for everyone. It's all aboard the Fairstar for a disco revue extravaganza.

I"m just trying to wrap my head around where you draw your cultural..
Are you old enough to remember the Don Lane Show? Well there you go. Look no further. I'm just paying homage to '60s and '70s and early '80s Australian TV Variety. Chelsea Brown, Bernard King, look no further. Also when I was a kid we were obsessed with old Hollywood musicals. The Andy Hardy ones with Judy and Mickey putting on a show in a barn and going to Broadway. And we'd put on shows in the back yard, and also shows like Donnie and Marie, Sonnie and Cher. Those fantastic, spectacular late '60s.. Carol Burnett Show, shows which had a big variety thing. Any shows that were variety shows we just loved, me and my kid sister. Seriously loved them. My all time favourite form of entertainment, thank you very much, and I won't hear a word against them.

The kind of kitsch send-up seems to be sending up Australian..
Well, it's not really, you see, the Australian shows were desperately trying to recreate the slickness of the British and American variety shows, which we had on TV as well. Ed Sullivan and all those sorts of shows were shown on Aussie TV, they were obsessed with trying to do something that was as good as overseas. But, they were doing it on a tuppenny-halfpenny budget, which is what made them so funny here. So they're very familiar with the form over there, so in a way what we were trying to recreate what we were seeing in America and Britain They've got their own set of entertainers like Brucie Forsythe and Des O'Connor, all those people, I totally fit into that tradition. So the act travels, trust me. The act travels.

You haven't built your overseas following as something specifically 'Australian'.
No, I've never really gone that big on the Australian element of the act, I mean Bob's just a dag from Murwillumbah. It's the Peter Allen thing. Someone from a little town in the middle of nowhere who desperately wants to be a star.

--Dermot Clarke-

'Whiter! Brighter!' is on at the Twelfth Night Theatre from March 23-April 1.