Topic: Things that made Jen sick
Fallback: World War II fighter planes

Townsville...
Sandy: Well.. the flu.
Mikey: Dodgy prawn
Paul: Oh dam the dodgy prawn was going to be my first cab off the rank. Umm.. maggot ridden ham
Brisbane...
Sandy: Bad hair cut
Mikey: Going outside with wet hair
Paul: She fell off the ski's on the ski slopes and broke her leg.
Supie: In spring
Paul: Hey, it happens!
Newcastle...
Sandy: She fell in a cow pat, face first.
Mikey: Shark attack - it doesn't happen often in the inner west, but shark attack.
Paul: Her parachute didn't open when she was parachuting.
Canberra..
Sandy: She ate a twice frozen paddle pop.
Mikey: She petted a monkey with fleas.
Paul: She went on a boat cruise, and the crew thought she was mad so they hog-tied her (hmm.. sounds familiar from GNW) and roped her in the cabin.
Sydney..
Sandy: Ringworm.
Mikey: Oh sorry, I thought that was a note for after the show - must ring worm. She drank dirty water.
Paul: She had a kidney operation but it went horribly wrong.
Adelaide..
Sandy: Was sort of in an orgy and things got out of hand.
Paul: Dirty dirty man, filty dirty man.
Mikey: She got bitten by an insect.
Paul: No one is trying.
Mikey: Ok. she went overseas and she got a disease that scientists had previously thought no longer existed but the tribe she was delivering food for still had the disease, so her humanitarian efforts made her sick.
Paul: She got bitten by an insect! Haha....
Perth..
Sandy: She trod on a rusty nail.
Mikey: She sat on a public toilet seat.
Paul: Someone got a razor blade and sliced open her eye like they did in that surrealist film...Did I do something wrong?
Darwin..
Sandy: Over eating
Mikey: Undereating.. umm.. she read a very scary book and that kept her awake at night and lack of sleep made her sick.
Paul: She had a bit too much to drink.
Hobart...
Sandy: She was making bricks and she got her hand caught in the machine.
Mikey: She was cleaning out the roof of bird guano - that can make you very sick.
Paul: Meshersmit
Mikey: A meshersmit landed on her.
Paul: Meshersmit.. world war two fighter plane. Or.. a meshersmit did a lightning strike, bit of a blitz spree on Jen's house at an airshow and bricks and mortar fell on her.
Melbourne...
Sandy: She swallowed broken glass.
Mikey: A bizzare whipper-snipper incident.
Paul: She went up the hill with Jack and tumbled down and broke her crown.
Mikey: And we hope she gets better by Monday.
Sandy: Please come back Jen.
Paul: Miss you... Meshersmit
Sandy: I meshersmit so much.

Topic: Things you find in a shed.
Paul: Come on. Let's go for a more interesting topic than that.
Jen: Give me one.
Paul: The greatest moments of sadness in our lives.
Mikey: It's a real up, up, up one. Ok, things you find in a shed.
Sandy: What's the fallback?
Fallback: Fallback is religious leaders.
Mikey: When's the fallback come in?
Jen: No fallback 'til Hobart.
Yelling: NO FALLBACK 'TIL HOBART.

Townsville...
Sandy: Shovel.
Mikey: Stack of girlie mags.
Paul: Rusty saw.

Brisbane...
Sandy: Mower
Mikey: Petrol for the mower
Paul: Old smelly bits of leather.
Jen: I don't like this topic. You were right Paul.

Newcastle...
Sandy: Nails
[Paul laughing]
Paul: This is dead. This topic's dead. Let's keep going. I think if we keep pushing we may get somewhere with it. But we can't just give up.
Mikey: Treasure. Pirates treasure that was captured and put in the shed.
Paul: When you're a 6-year-old anything can be in the shed.
Jen: Anything could be treasure.
Paul: Rusty bike - not a whole bike either, just most of a bike.
Sandy: Gee, everything's rusty in your shed.
Paul: It's a rusty shed. It's a shitty shed.

Sydney...
Sandy: Body
Jen: No.. alive or dead body?
Sandy: Dead.
Jen: See, you can put anything in the shed.
Sandy: Exactly.
Jen: You could have bloody Princess Di in a shed.
Sandy: I am treating this topic with distain.
Mikey: The leather strap for dad to hit you with when you're naughty.
Paul: I'm going to go with the other topic. When I walked through the glass door and cut myself to pieces and almost died.
Jen: If anyone wants to pick up the great sad moments in our lives.
Mikey: Ok. Great sad moments in our lives. OK fine. This has never happened before...
Jen: We've changed mid-stream.
Mikey: ... which means we have to go back to the top of the page.
Paul: Aww no! No, we're half-way through!
Jen: Saddest moments in our life.
Mikey: Start again. Jeez, we're killing them off aren't we!

Townsville...
Sandy: When a cracker went off in my eye...
Jen: You might want to just leave that story in two parts Sandy.
Mikey: When my dog Rusty went to heaven.
Paul: [with great sadness] When my little dog Blacky bit my grandmother's leg and was put down.

Brisbane...
Sandy: I was temporarily blinded from the cracker that went off in my eye.
Jen: Oh you're going to do it in three parts.
Sandy: Maybe four.
[Jen laughs]
Mikey: When I was in sixth class I was in a crowded library... I had a little fart and the fart ran down my leg and everyone pointed at me and laughed and I cried.
Sandy: That's sad.
Jen: That's terrible. Hey Supie can you just run in there into the library and just get the crime cd for me please? Sorry, just a little bit of business on air. You know, in the ultra lounge series.
Paul: Oh don't worry about my sadness though! Supie's got to get something, don't worry about my sadness.
Jen: [still telling Supie about where to get the cd]
Paul: I can't believe it. I'm revealing some aspect of my life and...
Jen: Sorry, go on.
Paul: The time I was on the school bus and a kid looked at me and said he didn't like the look of me and got a pencil and just shoved it in my forehead.
[Jen laughing]
[Mikey laughing]
Paul: That's horrible.

Newcastle...
Sandy: When I was.. umm.. temporarily blinded in the backyard after the cracker went off in my eye, I ran straight into the clothesline.
[Paul laughing hysterically]
Mikey: When mum reversed the Morris Minor over the cat.
Jen: You have a lot of dead animals in your life, haven't you?
Mikey: Oh the carcasses. It was like the killing fields our backyard.
Paul: When I accidently sprayed Peebeau over my goldfish
[Jen and Mikey laugh]

Sydney...
Sandy: And after I'd run into the clothesline, I split my head open.
[Jen, Mikey, Paul laughing]
Mikey: When I was told by my choir teacher that I should just mime.
Paul: Going down the hill on the billycart but got out of control and then ran into a rockery.

Canberra...
Sandy: Then I was kept in hospital with two patches over both my eyes.
Jen: I think you're embellishing now.
Sandy: No, no, I spent 5 days in hospital and I was lying in the hospital bed and the boy next to me had plaster on his hands, and right through the bloody night he kept saying 'Get the brick off my stomach! Get the brick off my stomach!'

Hobart...
Mikey: You went straight from Sandy to Hobart. You didn't feel our sadness.
Jen: I was looking at you though. I want your sadness. Sorry, continue.
Mikey: The year Mum gave me a photocopy of a gift for christmas.
Paul: The year I fell off the shed. We were having sort of chestnut fights and it was on a shed and I fell off.
Mikey: Chestnut fights. Is that what you call it in your family.
Paul: Well.. you know...

Hobart...
Jen: Come on, quick grief is good grief.
Sandy: The morning they took the patches off both my eyes and only one was working.
Jen: Oh, that is a sad story. That story is over now for me. Ok. Move on.
Mikey: The time I went to casualty because I thought I was having a heart attack and the doctor told me I had pinched a nerve in my neck.
Paul: The time I went to casualty because about three days previously I'd been playing barefoot football in a park with some friends and when I went to hospital they said 'This infection is month's old!'
Sandy: And it was on your face!

Adelaide...
Sandy: On the way home from the hospital that day, Dad hit a guy on a bike.
Jen: Haha, did he?
Sandy: Yes.
[Jen laughs]
Jen: Last Guy Falkes you had I guess.
Mikey: When Nana went to heaven.
Paul: This wasn't sadness for me, but it was a bit of sadness at the time. Umm.. when my little brother.. we turned a corner in the car and he fell out.
Mikey: HA.. sorry.

Perth...
Sandy: When I took off my reserves jumper in football and dislocated my shoulder.
Mikey: [laughs] Sorry.. that's the saddest.
Jen: That's the biggest loser story in history.
Mikey: When I got bitten by a tree spider and it swelled up and my father laughed.
Paul: When a Christmas beetle flew into my eye and caused it to swell.

Darwin...
Sandy: When metho dribbled down my back and onto my anus.
Paul: What?
[Jen laughs]
Paul: Who's metho?
Sandy: I was getting a massage.
Mikey: The fifth time I sprained my ankle in one year.
Paul: I have no other sadness in my life. I think that's about it.
Jen: Religious leaders please.
Paul: Oh.. ahh.. Archbishop Desmond Tutu.

Alice Springs...
Sandy: Pope.
Mikey: First time I got dumped.
Jen: In the surf or in a romance?
Mikey: By a lady. In the surf strangely enough.
Jen: Dumped twice.
Mikey: I was a double dumper.

Melbourne...
Paul: Hey. Oi.
Jen: Sorry.
Paul: Itola.

Melbourne...
Sandy: Manix (?)
Mikey: The first day of Autumn.
Paul: When I lost my big toe.
Jen: The first day of autumn is what category?
Mikey: The sadness.
Sandy: It's the end of summer.
Mikey: When you lost your big toe?
Paul: Yeah.
Mikey: Bullshit.
Paul: It's not something I talk about.
Jen: You've got a big toe
Paul: Have I?
Jen: Did you loose your big toe?
Sandy: Yeah they stuck it on the middle of his face.
[Jen laughs]
Paul: Hey, back off. BACK OFF.
Sandy: I used the face twice in that sequence. Sorry Paul.
Paul: Back off.
Sandy: I'm sorry.
Paul: It's not gone well this morning.
Jen: Well it's over now.
Paul: That was sad.. Let's go have a..
Jen: Do you want to start again?!?
Paul: No, I think we should go now and..
Mikey: Let's have a pie.
Paul: Let's have a pie and talk out the sadness.
Sandy: Good listening at all?
Jen: Probably not at all.
Sandy: No, don't think so.
Jen: If you did stick with us, then we appreciate it.
Mikey: If I were my dog I'd shoot me.

Topic: Things to treat yourself with
Fallback: things with 2 wheels

NO FALLBACK TIL DARWIN

Townsville:
Sandy: What is it again?
Jen: Little things you do to treat yourself.
Sandy: Oh right. Butter on white bread.
Mikey: Massage.
Paul: Pedicure.

Brisbane:
Sandy: Holiday. This is hard.
Mikey: Little bit of self loving.
Sandy: Wish we had done love songs.
Jen: We're not changing mid-stream again!
Paul: Aromic scented oils. Into my skin.
Jen: I can't argue with this.. it's all very subjective. Things you can treat other people with.
Paul: Morphine. Penicillin.

Newcastle:
Sandy: Umm..
Mikey: You're out already.
Paul: C'mon.
Sandy: Hot bath.
Mikey: little bar of chocolate that no one need know about. You're my little bar of chocolate that no one need know about Paul.
[laughing]
Paul: I think you've just let it out of the bag there, Mikey.
Jen: You're stalling
Paul: The overseas trip.
Jen; We've done holiday
Paul: does that include.. ok.. a swing. I love having a swing.
Jen: You do not
Paul: I love going down in the early morning - 6.00 of the morning - going to having a swing. You're saying objectively that...
Jen: I'm just saying that you're lying
Paul; I'm not. That's how i treat myself.
Jen: When did you ever go and have a swing at 6.00 in the morning.
Paul: All the time.
Jen: You do not.
Paul: If you were with me this morning at 6, you would have noticed, you would have seen me swinging. Kicking my legs up towards the clouds..at the high point of the arch..
Mikey: Weeee.. Weeee..
Paul: Letting my feet skim through the dirt as I came down.
Mikey: Screaming 'Push harder Daddy, push harder'
Sandy: 'Scuse me.

Sydney:
Sandy: A manacure. Not something I generally do but..
Jen:Oh.. so .. no I'm not taking it. You would never do that to yourself.
Sandy: I would..
Paul: I said pedicure .. that's not.. you know..
Jen; Well it's different.
paul: it is slightly different.
Jen: It's different enough. I'll take it but you'd never have a manicure.
Paul: These weather games are dying. C'mon let's have a bit of spirit and gumption.
Mikey: Getting into fresh clean sheets.
Jen: Yep.
Sandy: Ohhhhhh.. I love that.
Mikey: I love that too.
Sandy: I love that. It's so randy making.
Mikey: That's why you make those strange noises from your hotel room.. flip flop flip flop flip flop.
Sandy: That's the first thing I do when I get into a hotel room.. zip into the sheetie-wheaties!
Paul: 'Sheetie-wheaties!' I thought you said shitty wittys. They're clean and smooth for about a minute. Ok.. let's keep it moving..let's keep it moving. I like to treat myself to the stamp collection they have at the end of every year from Australia Post.
Mikey: Oh, that's good.. I love it, I love it.

Canberra:
Sandy: Ironed shirt.
Jen: Putting it on is the treat or ironing it is the treat?
Sandy: Putting it on.
Paul: Is this just before the shirt gets all shitty witty?
Mikey: Sticking your head in the freezer door on a hot day.
Paul: Going to see the family.
Mikey: You're family or just A family.
Paul: Any family. It's a treat.
Mikey: The family you keep in a box somewhere.

Hobart:
Sandy: Avoiding the family
Mikey: Releasing an injured bird back into the wild.
Sandy: Well isn't that sweet! After you've kept it for 6 MONTHS!
Mikey: I once breast fed a flamino back to health!
Paul: Lying down on the catch and watching the cricket.

Jen: Adelaide..
Paul laughing out loud.
Sandy: That'd be torture.
Mikey: You've never watched a game of cricket in your life!
Sandy: A good shower.
Mikey: Buying a tie.
Paul: Trimming my nasal hair.

Perth:
Sandy; Pulling my pants down in public
Mikey: Tearing off a bandaid
Paul: Bit of a skin scrub
Jen; Can I just go back to tearing off a bandaid? That's a treat?
Mikey: You play your games and I'll play mine
Jen: You are hairier than me
Paul: Milking the bull.. NO milking the cows.
Jen: Is that after you have a little bit of a quick swing?
Paul: After I have a little bit of a drink.. accidently milk the bull.

Darwin:
Sandy: I'd like to kick Allan Jones right up the bum!
[laughing]
Paul: Holding him down.. that'd be my treat!
Mikey: And I get to watch!

Alice Springs:
[still laughing from before]
Paul: I think that's the high point. It doesn't get any better than that.
Jen: Sandy.
Sandy: Oh it's not me again! Can't I have a free go? I went out on a limb.
Jen; You do go out on a limb
Sandy; i'm going to get sued.
Jen; you are.
Sandy: He's very litigious.
Mikey: A southerly.
Sandy: I love a southerly.
Paul: Oh you said southerly then.. i thought you said something else.
Jen: A southerly after a hot day?
Mikey: A southerly after a hot day.
Paul: Dancing naked on a south american beach at midnight.
Jen: That's a little treat is it?
Paul: Yeah i love that one.

Melbourne:
Sandy: Looking in a rock pool.
Mikey: I've got one that i've actually done.. standing naked in a monsoon rain.
Jen: You've done that?
Mikey: Yep.
Paul: Smearing myself with fish guts and lying on a beach for the seals to find.