Lonely Love: Chapter 2

~~~
"Love sucks." She then exclaimed, turning off the 
lights. 
"But what sucks even more is that I can't help but want to be in love!"

~~~
Chapter 2

'So this is how it feels like to be such a fool.' She 
thought,
as she looked at her best friend, who was happily talking and flirting 
with the 'love of his life.' And now what was she to do? Time had flown 
by as she prayed to the Lord that this would only be a 'fling' like the 
rest had been. His past relationships were all short, none of them 
reaching 
past a month. This girl here, Anna... She was something different. Both 
Fuuko and Tokiya knew it, and so Tokiya held onto her...
Her prayer had been unheard, for before she knew it, he 
was 
gone on Anna. Taking her out to movies, expensive dinners, picnics, and 
the fabled 'walk on the beach.' He was in love with her, and from what 
Fuuko had heard from Yanagi, Anna returned the feeling, 
ten-fold. Fuuko despondently looked down at her pasta, which was 
half-eaten 
and half-picked at. Was this how she was going to spend the rest of her 
life doing? Watching *him* from afar, wondering when he would finally 
realize 
that Fuuko was truly the love of his life, and not the new girl of the 
month...
She was so confused. She didn't know what to do. She 
didn't 
know what to say, what to think...'Tokiya-chan...' she whispered 
softly,
unhearing from the couple across the table from her, looking at each 
other 
so lovingly.
He had left her again, sitting in the booth of the 
restaurant. 
Alone. He had gone off with Anna, chatting and smiling, without giving 
a 
second thought to Fuuko.
She knew she had to be happy for him but then she wished 
she'd also be happy.

****Flashback****

'Fuuko', he had said to her, 'Do you mind if Anna and I 
leave 
early tonight? We have *plans* for later tonight.' Usagi had winced.
'Plans, Tokiya-chan?' she had calmly said. 'What kind?' 
Playing 
innocent had always worked before. 
'Fuu,' he had said warningly, 'that's none of your 
business.'
She had gasped, eyes wide, her pink little mouth in an 
'O' 
shape. 'Tokiya-chan!'
He had sighed. 'Gomen, Fuuko. Anyway, we're going to 
leave. 
Don't wait up for me!'

****End flashback****

'Don't wait up for me...' Those words were ringing in 
her 
head, as she sat in the booth, her hands coming up to rub her arms. She 
was wearing a sleeve-less dress, in hopes that Fuuko would notice her. 
He 
hadn't. The lovesick fool was gone on Anna, and Fuuko knew it. Anna was 
beautiful. She was intelligent, sophisticated, and liked by everyone. 
Even 
Fuuko had wished that she had met Anna on a different level. She knew 
that 
they would've have become great friends, had it not been for the fact 
that 
Tokiya was dating her. 
'Don't wait up for me...'
How many times had she heard those lines, and for how 
many 
different reasons? They lived together, yes, but when was the last time 
that Tokiya had actually been home when Fuuko was asleep? She thought 
hard. 
'About...2 weeks ago?' She gave a sad smile. 'And to think that we used 
to play games before we went to bed.' It was a tradition, 
Tokiya-chan...One 
that we had to break because of her...' 
Shaking her head, Fuuko slid out of the booth, and 
walked 
out of the revolving doors, heading for home.
Tokiya was having the time of his life. He and Anna had 
gone 
to see a movie together, and they were having a blast. Except for one 
little 
thing. Tokiya had guilt running through his veins. Not much but still 
enough 
to make him feel bad. 
'I shouldn't have snapped at her,' he thought 
sorrowfully,
as he imagined her hurt little face, looking at him disbelievingly. 
'After-
all, it wasn't her fault...' 
Anna had turned in her seat, ready to ask Tokiya a 
question 
about the movie. The words died in her throat, as she noticed the 
melancholy 
look on his face. 'It's Fuuko again, I know it is...Sometimes I think 
that 
those two are too close, but...I have him, and he loves me, and so I 
shouldn't 
doubt him.' 
Satisfied with her way of thinking, she sat back 
comfortably 
in her seat, and enjoyed the rest of the movie.

****Tokiya and Fuuko's Apt. 1:27AM****

Tokiya quietly turned the lock to open the door that 
would 
lead him inside of the apartment. He shut the door, and turned on a 
light,
so he would not run into anything in the dark. Hanging his coat on the 
rack, he shuffled inside of the room, walking towards his door. 
First, however, he opened the door to Fuuko's room to check on her. 
Tokiya 
had, however, forgotten that the hallway light was still on, and the 
light 
poured into her room, some settling on her face, and she woke up.
"Toki...Tokiya-chan?" came Fuukos' sleepy voice.
"Hai, Fuu-chan. It's me."
Fuuko blinked and rubbed at her eyes. 
"Tokiya-chan...What 
do you want?" She turned over to look at the clock. "Nani ten yo?! 
(What,
are you crazy?) It's nearly 1:30 AM! A girl needs her sleep, Tokiya, 
regardless 
of-" She would have continued to rant, despite her sleepy stage, until 
a warm hand covered her mouth. She instantly shut her mouth. 
"Fuuko...gomen."
Her now large eyes blinked once. "Fooo whooot, 
toooookyuuu-
fan?" Tokiya lifted his hand from her mouth, and Fuuko again said, "For 
what, Tokiya-chan?"
His light blue gray eyes looked at her, sorrowfully. 
"For 
snapping at you when we were at the restaurant, Fuuko. I really didn't 
mean 
to, and I know that you didn't deserve it, so"
A light peck on the cheek cut him off. "Tokiya-chan," 
Fuuko 
whispered lovingly, "Don't worry about it. I was too nosy, anyway. 
Whatever 
you do with Anna," she had turned her head away, so he wouldn't notice 
her 
eyes darken, "is none of my business, anyway. 
So cheer up, Toki-chan, and, "she said, in a light tone, "get out of my 
room! I need my beauty sleep!"
Mamoru stared at her disbelievingly, before standing up, 
and bending over to give her a light kiss on her forehead. "Fuuko," he 
whispered 
tenderly, "You don't need anymore beauty sleep." He turned and 
sauntered 
out of the room, leaving a wide-eyed Usagi staring after him.
Before he closed the door, he turned towards her. "By 
the 
way, Fuuko-chan?"
Fuuko looked up. "H-hai, Toki-chan?"
Tokiya smiled gently but a stern look was in his face. 
"Don't 
call me 'Toki-chan'. It doesn't suit me well, does it?"
Fuuko shook her head. "Iie. No, it doesn't."
Tokiya smiled. "Good. Sleep well."
When he was gone, Fuuko touched her forehead ever so 
gently 
- she never felt such an amazing feeling arose in her before -
He had done it before, so many times, but the fact that 
he 
also called her beautiful - it was pure ecstasy.

"Toki.er, Tokiya-chan..." she called off, her eyes 
looking 
at where he once stood. "I love you..."
But that phrase was just empty words - for they never 
reached 
him. They only got lost within the space that separated them. The 
memory 
of happiness disappeared, as all she could hear was her heart slowly 
breaking,
as reality had slapped across the face hard.
"But you will never..."
She curled up in a ball.
She wasn't able to sleep anymore.

~~~

Yanagi stared at her depression stricken friend - 
"Fuuko,
you just got to give this up! I can't let you continue this...it's 
hurting 
you to much." Her friend's voice was desperate, so raw and full of 
emotions,
mostly sympathy for her.
Fuuko looked up, her navy blue eyes. Her eyes looked at 
Makoto's 
solidly as she spoke two words. "I can't."
Her voice was strong, as the brunette shook her head, 
cutting 
up some onions. Today was a special day - she was to make a banquet of 
food 
for her friend, and help her digest it... "Does he even know what today 
is?"
Fuuko nodded, surely. He would not forget it, for it 
had 
been he who had circled the date in red, a week or two ago. It was in 
red 
marker, around the day '24' in the month of August. Surely he knew, 
for 
it had been a day that they always shared together. 
"He'll remember. He never forgets." Yanagi shook her 
head,
as she began to sauté the onions, as she began to add some mushrooms 
into 
the mixture. 
"Wait a sec, let me go get the mail." Fuuko bounced off, 
happily going on the elevator down towards the lobby, as she picked up 
Tokiya 
and her mail. She looked though it, as an envelope with her name on it 
made her heart beat faster.
The return address was from France.
Fuuko ran towards her apartment, as she swung the door 
open. 
"Yanagi! Look, it's that internship that Recca-san and you told me to 
sign 
up for..." She said, as Yanagi grabbed the letter from her hands and 
tore 
it open. 
Yanagi shrieked. "Fuuko! You got in! You are going to 
France 
for a whole two years!!" she hugged Fuuko. "I'm so happy for you!"
Fuuko's eyes scanned the letter over and over, shaking 
aside 
from her own excitement but because Yanagi was still jumping up and 
down 
while holding her.
After Yanagi let go of her and she jumped on her own, 
she 
finally thought of something. She would not be able to see Tokiya for 
two 
whole years.
How could she survive? How would he survive?
Fuuko stopped jumping and made up her mind. "This 
internship 
thing - it really isn't for me."
Yanagi froze, her eyes looking up at the blond who sunk 
onto 
a stool. "I like what I have here...I have you, Kaoru-chan, and 
Domon-chan.er,
erase him, I have Recca-chan.... and there is also-"
"Tokiya?! Kami, Fuuko! Everything you do, is always 
because 
of him! He has Anna for goodness sakes! You can't always do this! 
Without 
him knowing it, he is controlling every move you make! You have denied 
so 
many relationships...you could, for all I know, be 
married by now if you haven't stuck to your ways. I'm not trying to say 
anything, just that I don't want you to waste your dream because of 
him...I 
know how much you want to be with him, but I also know your wanting to 
be 
a famous fashion designer. This is YOUR big break 
Fuu-chan! Think about it!"
"But you, Yanagi-chan, Re..."
"Remember, you'll have Saicho there. You encouraged him 
when 
he had that same dilemma, and said that friend's can always keep in 
touch. 
After all, he has become a friend of ours. Why can't YOU follow your 
own 
advice?" 
Fuuko felt her throat restrict, "I-I'll try to think 
about 
it...but now I have..." the phone interrupted her mid sentence as she 
picked 
it up.
"Moshi moshi, Mikagami / Kirisawa residence."
"Fuuko," the voice made her heart melt, "I won't be home 
today until late. It's Anna and mine's two month anniversary."
"But, Toki-chan, it's my..."
The dial tone responded. 
"Birthday." she had finished up as she burst into tears 
in 
her friend's arms. 
'He didn't even noticed I called him 'Toki-chan'!' she 
thougt 
as she continued to weep.

~~~

He came home around eleven... not as late as usual, he 
had 
noted. The main lights were dimmed as he walked about so casually, 
taking 
off his tuxedo shirt. "Fuuko..." he called out his friend's name. 
No reply. He looked around, as he concluded, 'Hmm...She 
must 
be in her room.'
He knocked gently and entered the room. "Hey Fuuko." 
She 
looked up at him, not knowing what to say. What was she to say, 'Ohh 
Toki-
chan, you just missed my birthday?' That was something that she had 
not 
wanted to say. 
"Hi," she replied simply, as he looked at her 
strangely. 
She noticed as his eyes roamed around the room, and when they locked 
with 
the beautiful boutique of long stem red roses. Those were her favorite 
flowers because they symbolized a deep and eternal love. 
"Who gave you the roses?"
"Recca-chan." She bluntly replied. "He lives in the 
Jubban 
district - she's the one taking care of the flo--"
"The Flower Shoppe? Yeah, I remember. I thought she 
only 
sent you flowers on your birthda..." His voice was lost as she buried 
herself 
within the piles of blankets that surround her. "Your birthday...it was 
your birthday...?"
Out of all the occasions, he just had to miss her 
birthday. 
Her birthday had always been a sore spot in her heart - for it was the 
day 
that her mother had left her. He remembered hearing her talk about it, 
on 
the first birthday he celebrated with her, the mist of depression 
always 
surrounded her whenever she talked, thought about it. 
And now, he couldn't help but think he had done exactly 
what 
her mother had done.
Abandoned her.
"Gomennasai Fuuko..."
She had heard that phrase too much.
Everything was now, "I'm sorry, gomen 
ne...gomennasai..." 
she couldn't help and wonder if any of them were true, or just petty 
words 
to make her feel as if he cared. 
"Tokiya...I want to go to sleep. Leave me alone." He 
felt 
so taken back. 
'Leave me alone.'
She had never said such words, and if she had, she 
always 
said it so delicately. But could he blame her? This was their day. The 
day they would spend together to wipe away the thoughts of the past 
that 
was in her mind. 'But even those days have been wiped away 
also...' Fuuko thought bitterly.
"Fuuko-chan..."
"Please. Tokiya," he flinched, "I don't want to speak 
with 
you."
"But, Fuuko-"
"Tokiya," she looked up at him, her eyes large in the 
darkness. 
"You left me...How could you leave me?" She shook her head. "It doesn't 
matter anymore...Nothing ever does when it comes to you."
"Fuu-"
"Leave. I want you to leave." 
The sharpness of her voice, the tension in the room...He 
blinked back the tears that had come up during her speech. Obeying her 
wishes,
he walked out of the room, leaving her to cry herself to sleep for yet 
the second time this week.

~~~

The sweet aroma of pancakes filtered her lungs as she 
felt 
her mind pull her away from the wonders of the dream world and back 
into 
reality. She stretched, as she pulled herself up from her bed.
'Could it be Toki-chan cooking?' She shook her head.
Of course not. He would be off, happily talking and 
going 
out with Anna, instead of 
being here with her. It must be Yanagi then, she always knew how to 
mend 
her broken heart.
She trudged herself into the kitchen, "Hey Yanagi-chan." 
She then took a good look 'Yanagi-chan...' I never knew she had long 
grayish 
hair...and is an exact replica of Tokiya...' 
"Yanagi-chan?" he grumbled, "Oh I see how it is. Just 
cause 
a guy is in an apron doesn't mean he is a girl...just take Kaoru for 
example!" 

Fuuko looked at him, keeping her guard up. She was still 
wary about last night. "What are you doing home? Shouldn't you 
be...out? 
You always are, nowadays." It was not meant for him to hear the last 
sentence,
but he did. 
The words stung him, as he looked at her, "What's wrong 
with 
me being here?" 
She shook her head. "Nothing... it's just that you 
usually 
just go home to sleep, shower, change, and then you leave."
He stared at her dumbfound. Had he neglected his best 
friend 
for so long? This girl that was practically a sister to him? (sister?!! 
Hmph!!) He tried to find the voice in his throat, "Well, today is 
different. 
Today is a Tokiya-Fuuko day! Now, go wash up!"
She stared at him, slowly mouthing the same words, 
'Tokiya-
Fuuko'. "Well, what are you waiting for Fuuko? Get moving! We got lots 
of 
places to go."
"What if I don't want to?" Fuuko asked stubbornly.
Tokiya grinned. "You'll be missing lots of fun stuff, 
Fuu-
chan!"
Slowly, disbelievingly, she turned around to head to the 
bathroom. 'Toki-chan...it's a nice gesture, demo...It still hurts.'

~~~

It was but a perfect day, and, as promised, everything 
was 
just the two of them and no Anna. They sat in the arcade, talking as 
Fujimaru-
odd ne? use your imagination-served them saying, "Just like old 
days..." 
Tokiya couldn't help but feel the arousing guilt rise inside of him. 
Had he really changed that much? Had he neglected her 
so? 
He looked at her, guilt from the day before came running back.
"Why are you doing this, Toki-chan?" asked Fuuko.
He decided to ignore the annoying nickname. "Well, 
you're 
my best friend, and I think it' my job to cheer you up. I mean, I've 
been 
a very bad friend this past few days.
Pause. "Days? What do you mean by that? Don't you think 
it 
should be weeks or months?"
Tokiya smiled. "Uh, sure. Yeah. Well, I just didn't want 
you to be alone all the time."
Pause. Uncomfortable silence filled the air.
"Hey, Fuuko, how about every week we do this? Every 
Thursday 
is a Tokiya-Fuuko Day." 
She shrugged. "Whatever." She did agree, although in the 
far corner of her brain, she knew that this tradition, just like the 
others,
probably would not stay for long.

~~~