Lonely Love: Chapter 6

~~~
'I use to be so foolish, to be so in love with him. Now 
I 
see that the love that I once had for him was not love, but a simple 
infatuation. 
Maybe because I didn't know what love truly was, so I mistook the love 
of 
a sibling to another as the true, hot and heavy love that I now have 
with 
Maruko.' She looked at her love, her eyes glazing at him kindly.
'If it wasn't for him, I would never have realized how 
beautiful 
love truly is.'

~~~

He had let her slip out of his hands, and into another's 
grasp.
And it was but his fault.
The sparkle in her eyes - 
The faintness in her voice.
He knew that she was in love.
But with another.
'Fuuko.how I long to hear your voice.say those words to 
me.'


~~~

She played around with her food, her eyes looking at her 
lover across from her. Maruko was beautiful. He was kind. He was sweet. 
He was always there when she needed 
him. He was everything she wanted, everything she needed.but now, she 
could 
only feel lost within the words of the past, and of the present.
There was no question of doubt that she, Fuuko Kirisawa, 
loved Maruko. She loved him with her whole heart. Her whole mind. Her 
whole 
being. 
With everything. 
But she had loved Tokiya too.
And, in fact, she wouldn't be surprised if she had loved 
him more than Maruko.
Tokiya had been her first love.
Her friend.
Her brother.
He was her family.
She was surprised that she wasn't still in love with 
him.Even 
though all of the problems he had caused. Or was it.the problems she 
had 
caused? 
Yes, she had left. To escape Tokiya. But.had she also 
left 
to escape herself? In hopes that she would somehow forget him? Forget 
the 
love that she had for him? Forget. everything?
But how could she? He, too, had been her rock for so 
many 
years. He, too, had been there for her, whenever she needed anything. 
He 
had always been there.
Or had he?
Maybe she had lost him, the first time he went out on a 
real 
date. She had lost her 'claim' on him.? It was unintentional, of 
course,
that he had deserted her so many times. 
And yet, she had continued to love him.
Until she left. The day she had left Tokyo, she left her 
heart behind with him. 
But then she had met Maruko, and her heart had flown 
back 
to her, and into his hands.
Or had it?
She sighed, "Du problème le Coeur." (Problems of the 
heart).
She didn't know - her heart banged.
She was over him. She was over him.
But now, even an hour after their meeting, her heart had 
kept a fast pace of beat.
Her mind still spun.
She looked at her lover again, and unconsciously began 
to 
compare the two men in her life.
Maruko was like the wind, soft, dazing, and cool.
Tokiya was like fire, hot, fiery, and burning.
The two were opposites; one thrived for romance as the 
other 
thrived for passion. And one had been too dense to realize that she 
loved 
him. 
And that was why she had run. 
France had been an escape route from her reality. And 
there,
she had found Maruko. 
She took another sip of her wine as the brown haired 
smiled 
at her. She smiled back, although her heart wasn't into it.
'I'm so confused.I'm over *him*.aren't I.?'

~~~

He had waited for so long.
So long.to tell her the three little words that she had 
told 
him so many days ago.
713 days, to be exact. 
He smirked at himself. 'Tokiya, you're such a wimp. You 
should 
just tell her.', he thought, mocking himself.
'Tell her.'
But what would he tell her? A nice little, "Hi, Fuuko. 
You 
know how you told me that you loved me 2 years ago? Well, I found out, 
the 
day you left, that I loved you, too. So how about you dump your 
boyfriend,
and we can get married?", would definitely not work. 
He knew, now, that she was just the passing wind.
He looked out the window.
Was this their fate?
That she would declare her love, to only have him turn 
her 
down? And then for him to declare his love to her, to only have her 
turn 
him down? Was this what was to turn out of their years living together 
in 
the orphanage, and then the years of living together? Her long full 
heart 
had gone to dismissal as he had picked it up, placing it close to his.
She was like another person now. Still so beautiful, 
still 
so perfect, but. she had also grown up. She was wiser to the world now. 
Not that naive young girl that she had been before. 
She had a lover. She was loved. And she loved him.
'The exact opposite of you, Tokiya,' he thought, getting 
angry with himself. 'You long for a woman that you will never have.'
Fuuko had developed in every detail as the perfect 
woman. 
Physically, mentally, and emotionally.And any other way that could 
count.
'And she could have.
'If only I hadn't been so blind.'
All those 'could have's' and 'what ifs'.
But in the end, you can't do anything. Destiny is 
destiny. 
You can't plot with it, nor against it.
It's always final with destiny. What happens happens. 
And 
that damned mistake that he had made 2 years ago.had condemned him to 
loneliness. 
For the rest of his life. For if he couldn't have her.
He would have no one.
His head spun.
He had made the biggest mistake of letting her leave his 
life the way she did.
And now, after years of guilt and self-hatred, he was 
face-
to-face with her, only to find out that she loved another.
Fate is so cruel. Destiny is cruel. Life is cruel.
'Toki-chan, do you love me?' 
He smiled as he replied, 'Of course I do Fuuko.you know 
I 
love you, little imouto.as long as you stop calling me 'Toki-chan''
If only he had knew then why her face sadly fell with a 
dark 
shadow.
If only he had known.
If only he hadn't of been so dense.
If only.
But the clock upon time does not run backwards.
It only goes forth.
And memories are memories.
And mistakes are mistakes.
No matter how stupid or irrational they may have been.

~~~

She laid down upon her bed, sleepily holding the phone 
close 
to her. She began to pick it up, wanting to talk to someone. She had 
just 
called Yanagi, who had been thrilled to hear from her, but the silence 
between 
them was unbearable. After Yanagi had heard about 
Maruko, there was silence. And then Yanagi had began to speak, only to 
clamp 
her mouth shut. It was as if she had wanted to say something, but 
decided 
against it mid-way.
Fuuko shook her head, and began to dial a number - 
absentmindedly. 
The phone rang and rang, and all she could do was wonder who she had 
called.
She did not remember clearly what she had dialed.
It was just a spur of the moment thing.
The phone was picked off of the receiver, and she took a 
deep breath in anticipation. On the other line, a deep heavy voice 
replied 
to her, "Moshi Moshi."
She nearly dropped the phone in shock. 'But then', she 
thought,
'it would only be natural to call him when I was in need of 
something.'
"Moshi moshi, Toki-chan."
She had received no response, as heavy breathing was 
heard. 
But sooner or later, a voice had replied, recovered from the temporary 
shock,
"Fuuko."
Just one word, said many, many times before. But this 
time.it 
was different. The affection was still there, but there was something 
else.Shaking 
her head, she spoke. 
"Toki-chan, today, our conversation was so short.I guess 
we had much on our minds. And.I wanted to talk to you more, but 
Maruko."
He cringed.
".had to come pick me up, like I had already said. I'd 
like 
to talk some more, though.I know that we both have more to say, so if 
you 
don't mind.?"
An open invitation to him. And he grabbed at it, with 
both 
his heart and mind. 
"Of course I don't mind, Fuuko."
Her words had wrapped around him like a blanket on a 
cold 
day, "And hai.I had so much in mind of telling you, but I guess it 
didn't 
go right." 
She laughed softly, "It's alright Tokiya-chan. At least 
we 
can talk now."
"Yeah. So tell me, how was your internship to France?" 
He 
asked, as she leaned against the frame of her bed, the phone close to 
her 
as she answered, "Wonderful. Everything was wonderful."

~~~

Sunrise.
Dawn.
Colors.
Everything was beautiful.
And everything was pure.
He looked up upon the ceiling, a smile playing upon his 
lips. 

They had talked 'til the morning sun had willed itself 
upon 
the sky, as the bright moon blended into the daylight once more. He 
smiled,
feeling aroused in everything, 
surprisingly awake and ready to do anything although he had barely a 
wink 
of sleep.
"I never thought I could feel so wonderful."
His voice was happy, without it's normal harsh edge. He 
had 
stood up to grab his coat, and began to walk out of his apartment with 
it 
in his hand. A large, delighted smile 
was lighting up his face.
He hadn't smiled like this since two years ago.
He hadn't felt so happy like this since two years ago.
And most importantly.he hadn't felt so whole since two 
years 
ago.

~~~
Author's Notes:

Wai, wai! Here's the second part of the LOOOOOOOOONG chapter, so, well, 
okay, I've lost track of what chapter number.er, number chapter.ano, 
what 
the chapter of this number.er, number of this chapter! Yeah! I got it 
right! 
So, sorry, but I think this it the sixth?

Listen to me babble! You will? (::SILENCE::) CRUELTY! Anyway, hmph! 
That 
was enough babble already! IF you don't want to hear me babble, you'll 
just 
have to read it anyway!

Let's see, where do I start? Oh yeah.

Chi-chan: Isn't it too short?
A.E. Chi-chan: Yeah, Chi-chan, how come?
Chi-chan: Well, Alter Ego Chi-chan, I really didn't have enough time to 
measure the size.so. A.E. Chi-chan: So what are you saying is that 
maybe 
the next chapter is longer this time?
Chi-chan: Anta no baka, Alter Ego Chi-chan, it's possible that it's 
shorter! 
Yeah!
A.E. Chi-chan: You're weird.

Okay, that's enough able since you're probably sleeping now. (::SNORING 
AND SILENCE FILLS BACKGROUND::) Cruelty!!!