| “Come in.” Ryanne opened slowly the door and took a conscious look inside. “I’m coming in peace, hun.” Even though Deianeira felt like ripping someone’s head off, she smiled at her Mom. “Actually, I have some coffee for you.” Deianeira took the offered mug and stared thoughtfully in the black liquid. “What’s up , sweetie? Can you interpret the near future by starring at coffee-grounds?” She sadly lifted her eyes and looked at her Mom. “ “No – not all, unfortunately. It just reminds me of my first meeting with Scott.” Suddenly all her oppressed feelings of despair and anger came up. “Jesus Christ, Mom!! I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t even turn on the TV or switch on the radio . . He’s everywhere!” “Slow down, hun. Don’t you think you’re exaggerating this whole thing?” “Exaggerate?!?!? You just don’t . . .” Before Deianeira could finish her sentence, she felt this strong need to vomit again and dashed into her bathroom. Her Mom followed her and looked concerned at her daughter, who hung exhausted over the toilet. “I knew there was something wrong with you. Why didn’t you tell me earlier, Deianeira?” “ There is nothing wrong Mom . . I’m just a lil’ bit ill . .thats all. . .” “Just ill, huh? C’mon Deianeira!! Do you think I’m totally blind?” Ryanne took a deep breath and looked very seriously at her daughter. “I’m going to get a pregnancy test at the drug store and cool down a bit. Stay here and try to become friendly with the fact that you might become a Mom soon . . .and hopefully a Mom of a lovely daughter, like you are. It won’t become easy, my dear.” Ryanne left the bathroom, while Deianeira was sitting on the cold floor, trying to fight against her anxiety. But all about she could think at the moment was, how it ever could come that awful between Scott and her. She loved him, though it didn’t seem that he had the same feelings for her. The grey ceiling on the earth Well it's lasted for a while Take my thoughts for what they're worth I've been acting like a child In your opinion, and what is that? It's just a different point of view What else can I do? I said I'm sorry, yeah I'm sorry. I said I'm sorry , but what for? If I hurt you then I hate myself Don't want to hate myself, don't want to hurt you Why do you chew your pain? If you only know how much I love you, love you I won't be your winter I won't be anyone's excuse to cry We can be forgiven I will be here “Jesus . . .my baby won’t even have a father . . .” She sobbed and felt this incredible coldness creeping up her spine, while she was lifting her eyes , detecting a package of razor blades lying on the shelf. Mark drummed impatiently with his fingers against the steering-wheel, while he watched the people crossing the street in front of him. He was in an incredible bad mood and wouldn’t mind to ride roughshod over some of them. Since the conversation with Scott he had been thinking a lot about his feelings for Deianeira. “Dammit!” Mark hit hard on the breaks, in order not to crash into the car in front of him. Annoyed, he switched the radio on and tried to relax a bit. “Nah . .too much crap on.” Sighing, he rubbed his aching head and decided to switch the radio off again. “You have to talk to her,” he said to himself. With a sudden bad feeling looming over him , he took a turning into Camden Lane, where Deianeira lived. What he saw terrified him. An ambulance was parked right in front of Deianeira’s house. He jumped out of his car, running the last steps towards the ambulance. Mark gazed at Deianeira, who was lying on the stretcher, looking pale and dead. “What happened?” Mark looked inquiringly at Ryanne, who stood beside the stretcher, holding her daughter’s lifeless, blood stained hand. “I . .I .. I . .can’t just believe it . . They’re going to drive us into the Emory Hospital. Please, Mark . .call Scott!!” “Sure . .I will . .” Totally overwhelmed by thousands of feelings he stood in the middle of the road, starring after the ambulance, which quickly drove away. Mark closed his eyes, and tried to get rid of the painful pictures in his head, where he saw Deianeira lying motionless, while the paramedic hurriedly took care of her. Listless, he fumbled for his cell phone. “Yeah man . .this is Mark . . .what the hell do you mean, you can’t talk right now ?? . . Listen to me. Dammit, listen!” Mark yelled into his cell phone, but calmed himself down again and said gravely “ Deianeira slit her wrists . .I don’t know if she will make it and I don’t know what you’re going to do know, but I’m gonna grab the next cab and get to the hospital. God only knows what I’m gonna do to you…” Scott quickly hurried down the sterile smelling, cold hospital corridors. As he reached the emergency waiting room, he saw Mark standing there, embracing the sobbing Ryanne. Oppressed by fears, he didn’t even feel Mark’s supporting arm on his shoulders as he walked straight into the treatment room. Deianeira lay amidst all those huge medical treatment machines, looking very pale and so fragile. He knelt beside the bed and took her hand, which was cold and still blood stained. As if she had felt his presence, her eyes fluttered open. “Hey hun . . it’s me . . how do you feel?” whispered Scott. Deianeira tried to smile at Scott, but suddenly her eyes widen and she gazed full of panic at Scott. “Oh my God . . my baby . .”She cried “. .my baby . .” Before Scott could comprehend the full sense of these words, he was softly pushed away by a nurse, who injected Deianeira with a sedative. The doctor rushed in. “She shouldn’t move too much. Her sutures could rip open.” The nurse tried to calm her down. “ Oh my god . .I killed my baby . .” “Shhh . .everything is gonna be all right .You have to calm down.” “My baby . .”She whispered a last time, before the sedative began to work and she fell into a restless sleep. Scott began slowly to understand her words. Utterly shocked, he sat down in the next chair and rested his head against his hands. “She didn’t tell you, huh?” Scott lifted his head and gazed at Ryanne, who spoke in a very soft voice. “Why?” He asked with a broken voice. Ryanne sat down in the chair next to him. “She was so afraid of how you were going to react . . .She thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with her.” “Jesus . .” Now tears streamed down his face God, I love her so much and I would have loved the baby just the same.” “She really needs to hear that right now. “ She looked confidently at him “You can get through this together.” Mark leaned against the wall and watched this scene very carefully. As Ryanne left the hospital, he looked t Scott, who went to Deianeira again. Mark kept his eyes on both. With a satisfying smile he saw them in a close embrace, both crying. “Now you won’t need me anymore.” He whispered as he stepped with a bittersweet feeling out of the hospital, out of her life . . . |