AN: Hopefully a more realistic and balanced take on the Ken-trapped-in-a-loveless-marriage-to-Miyako
genre.
Feedback to fitchers_bird@yahoo.co.uk.
“You have to tell her one day Ken.” Daisuke’s tone was deathly serious, a clear contrast with the playful flirting of earlier. “She deserves to know.”
Ken laughed bitterly. “She’s known all along, Dai. Why do you think we broke up last time? There’s no use telling her what she already knows.”
Daisuke sat up in the hotel room bed, staring down into his lover’s eyes. “Then tell me.” Off Ken’s look, he continued. “What does she know? That we’re sleeping together, that we’re in love or just that you’re an emotional screw-up?” Ken’s eyes darted away in shame. “I can’t take this anymore. I live at the edge of your life, waiting for you to tell me you’re free, and this time you won’t be going back to her…”
“Not to her!” Ken interrupted forcefully. “To them. It’s the children I’m thinking of. They need a stable environment.”
Daisuke scoffed. “Stable!” Twice before now you’ve separated, and I don’t know how many more times you’ll try to deny the truth. What good is it doing your children to see their parents staying in a marriage that is slowly killing them?” He got out of bed and hurriedly dressed. “I don’t understand why Miyako hasn’t divorced your ass already.” Slowly walking towards the door, he turned to Ken and said, “You’ve got to make a choice: her or me. I can’t wait any longer. It’s not fair to anyone.”
***
A week later. Ken slowly entered his Tokyo apartment. “You’re late,” his wife called to him neutrally. “The kids are in bed already.”
“I have something for you,” Ken struggled to keep his voice at her level of neutrality.
For once life sparkled again in Miyako’s hazel eyes. The years left her and a trace of her old warmth could be seen in her smile. Looking over the divorce papers the expression froze on her face. Not skipping a beat she responded, “I’ll have my lawyer look these over. I’ll want custody of the kids of course.”
Ken nodded dumbly. “You don’t seem that surprised,” he said softly, a little hurt.
“One thing I learnt from all our adventures in the Digital World is that I’m not a quitter. All those times that I thought we were doomed, that I wasn’t up to the task in hand, Hawkmon and the others proved me wrong; you proved me wrong.” Miyako picked up a piece of paper that had been displayed on the fridge door. On it was a childish rendering of her youngest daughter and her own Poromon.
“Remember that day when I first saw the Dark Ocean?” Ken looked bemused at the sudden subject change but nodded all the same. “Hikari and I fell down that chasm. I wasn’t sure we’d ever get out. So I panicked. All that kept running through my mind was the fact that if I died there, I’d never marry or make my fortune.” Miyako stopped and leaned against the counter. She stared into the distance as if she was no longer indoors and could just about make out her younger self far away. “Even way back them those two things were of equal importance to me: marriage and a successful career. I thought I could have it all. I t never even occurred to me that life would get in my way.
“One day I realised you didn’t love me, maybe you had never truly loved me. I kept wondering why your affairs –“
“Just the one. Only Daisuke,” said Ken quickly, in some meagre attempt at self-justification.
Miyako shrugged. She looked old, tired and long-suffering, like some great mountain. “…Why your affair didn’t bother me. Then it came to me – I didn’t love you either. But I’d given up so much for our relationship already. I wasn’t prepared to admit failure.”
“You didn’t fail Miyako. I did.” Ken took her hand in his own and squeezed it gently. “I promised you something I couldn’t give.”
“Facing him she asked with a desperate intensity, “Do you love him? I mean, really love him? After all you did think once that you loved me. I would have known if you’d lied then.”
“”I didn’t lie; I just couldn’t face the truth. I wanted to love you, and believe me, I tried not to love him. I tried so hard…” Tears came to her eyes, mirroring those in his. Miyako wrapped her arms around her husband, offering and finding true comfort in that touch for the first time in years. “I’m sorry Miya. I’m so sorry for doing this to you.”
“We did this to each other, Ken. We both saw what was happening. One of us should have stopped this whole mess a long long time ago.” She pulled away from him. “Have you told him yet?”
“No,” replied Ken. He didn’t want to see me until I was truly free.”
“You love him.” This wasn’t a question or an accusation, just a simple statement. “You should be with him. We can sort out how to tell the kids and all the other details later. For now, just please leave.” She unlocked the door and gestured towards the busy night outside.
As Ken moved to go out, he smiled at his soon-to-be ex-wife. “Thank you. For what it’s worth, I couldn’t have hoped for a better wife.” He glanced in the direction of the children’s bedrooms. “And there are some things I’ll never be able to regret.”
Miyako dipped her head in acknowledgement. “Go. Be happy.” She stood and watched wistfully as the man on whom she had pinned all her dreams disappeared into the shadows. But dreams are like butterflies – if you pin them, they die.
Then she shut the door, checked on her children and returned to the kitchen. She picked up the envelope containing the divorce papers. Tomorrow she would contact Iori to find a good divorce lawyer. But for tonight, she slumped to her knees and lay on the floor, sobbing softly.