The Chemist

Maxwell Arbenschizenwald (1827-), a world renowned Chemist in addition to
being the second greatest (to only the Master of the Spit Valve) baritone-euphonium player in the
history of both the known and unknown universes, was born in a small cave in
the Little America neighborhood in Augsburg. By the age of 2 days old, he
had mastered the tuba. However, it was not until he reached the age of 8
that he mastered the baritone, after brief flings with the recorder, kazoo,
digeridoo and Claudia Schiffer. While studying with the eminent professor of
music, Professor Justin Y. Lai, Arbenschizenwald participated in the
development of a brilliant, A+ deserving tome on the history of the
baritone.  Arbenschizenwald has performed at county fairs the world over,
and has become an expert in vegetology, most notably with regards to
tomatoes.  After discovering the loud, occasionally hyperactive, and most
often sluggish element Baritonium, the Chemist retired to his hilltop hovel
to continue his studies of the nature of the elements.