We met at the Plainview lanes at about 9:00, and were escorted into a private lounge were we had an excellent buffet of a 6-foot hero and a mixture of salads and soda. After eating we were assigned lanes 36 thru 40. We arrived on our lanes which were equipped with computerized scoring devices. So for about 5 minutes or so everybody stood around scratching their heads while over the loud speaker you could hear a voice telling everybody in the place: "SCORING HELP ON LANES 36 THRU FORTY" about a million times.
Of course lanes 37 & 38 did not need help because we had Jeff C who worked that computer board like a pro.
Once the names were programmed in, the lights went out and the games began.
There we were, all of us grabbing a heavy ball and throwing it down an alley trying for the ever elusive strike. Now, not that there isn't enough pressure on one to get this elusive strike, but when you manage to knock down all of the pins except the ever dreaded number 5 pin and you are standing there aiming at this willful little pin that you know is taunting you and the only thing in the world that you can think about at that moment is the death of the 5 pin.
You start your approach and someone whose name I will not mention (but his initials are Jaime C) yells out to you "HEY NOBODY EVER MISSES THE 5 PIN".
You hear this, the pressure mounts, your anger at this arrogant little pin that dared to remain standing becomes overwhelming, and you throw that ball so hard at that pin that the ball goes everywhere except at the pin. You watch the ball rolling down the alley it seems like forever. Everyone in the place is watching your ball as it rolls past the 5 pin and hits the back of the alley. You swear as the bar comes down that the 5 pin is laughing at you as it is pulled over the edge knowing that you will never have the satisfaction of getting even with that pin because although there will always be a 5 pin it will never be the same pin.
Now, not that this isn't bad enough but they have to add another little twist to this by introducing this RED pin. This bright red little devil of a pin will show up from time to time as the #1 pin. The trick here is if you get a strike while this pin is in the #1 position you get a free game.
So here I am working off of a double strike already, I get this red pin in the #1 position and I'm ready here now. Nothing is gonna stop me. I'm gonna do this. I'm ready. I'm gonna redeem myself from the embarrassment of the #5 pin. I pick up the ball, I line myself up when I hear someone call my name. I turn and there is Nicole standing there with a camera, she pushes the button and* FLASH *
Now all I can see is this bright light in front of me and nothing else.
I turn, throw the ball, and (you guessed it) every pin goes down except the red one.
It is at this point that I realize, thanks to our lovely Vice President, that perhaps I'm approaching this game the wrong way.
I think to myself that anybody can really knock down all of these pins. But it takes real skill to leave only one pin standing and even more skill to leave only the dreaded number 5 pin standing.
However Jaime and Richard then inform me that although this may be true the real skill is announcing that you will leave only the 5 pin standing BEFORE you release the ball.
Well, of course the Cheech is up to this challenge, so in the 6th frame of the third game I announce that I will not try for the strike but
instead I will hit all the pins except the #5 pin. I will leave the 5 pin standing. Of course this is dismissed by the others as the rambling of a bowler already disgraced with the missing of the 5 pin and the dishonor of leaving the red pin standing. And also having fresh in my mind that Jaime had totally destroyed my fantasy (I'm not saying any more about that).
I stepped up to the line, took aim and this time I wasn't turning around for anybody. With all the determination I could muster I threw that ball down that alley. It hit the pins and they flew in every which direction. When the smoke cleared there it was,
standing there like a tower right in the middle of the ally: THE #5 pin gleaming like a beacon in the night.
I had done it, I had redeemed myself. My life was complete.
Now with my pride restored I could watch everybody else try the same thing.
By the last game Jaime was bowling a perfect game then came the second frame. Oh well! Also his life was complete because he had beaten his brother once this evening.
Nicole checked to make sure she was a woman.
Bob and Cynthia were singing to a beer bottle (now that's an approach I have never tried before).
And I with my pride restored life couldn't be better.
A night of fun food and good company and all for only 20 bucks. What a place America.
We all had a great time and I hope we can do this more often.
Written by The Cheech, Edited by Jaime