|
| Title: A Gundam Wing Wal*Mart Story Author: Kyoto (email me) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* DUO: Y'know, Quatre, I don't see why you're entering this contest thing anyways. Billions of other people are gonna enter, too. That means that your chances of winning are... (*counts on fingers. runs out of fingers to count on*) Er, really slim. QUATRE: I know that, Duo, but you'll never know unless you try! HEERO: Well I don't want to hear about it if you don't win. You've been warned... ::Two weeks later...:: (ugly person on TV): And the winner of the five thousand dollar Wal*Mart shopping spree is... QUATRE (crossing his fingers): I hope I win, I hope I win, I hope I win... DUO (also crossing fingers): (I hope he doesn't, I hope he doesn't, I hope he doesn't...) (ugly person on TV): QUATRE RABARBA WINNER OF THE L4 COLONY!!! ::Everyone except Quatre falls over anime-style:: QUATRE: YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!! I won, I won, I won!!! WUFEI: Injustice! (ugly person on TV): Quatre Rabarba Winner, if you'd like to claim your prize, just go straight to your local Wal*Mart and show proof of identification! You'll have a total of five hours to choose anything you want with the five thousand dollars, and you can choose your four closest friends to join you! The sooner you come, the better! ::Everyone rushes to Quatre's side:: DUO: See, Quatre! I told ya you'd win! ::Trowa, Heero, and Wufei sweatdrop:: TROWA: You are taking us, aren't you? QUATRE: Why, of course! After all, I love you guys! ::Everyone except Trowa takes a step away from Quatre, smiling nervously:: DUO: So, let's go an claim that prize now, eh, Quatre? WUFEI: I'm driving! TROWA: I got shotgun! ::Quatre runs for cover. People stare:: HEERO: not a shotgun, you idiot! QUARRE: Oh... (*sweatdrops*) Of course! I was just playing, heh, heh... ::Two hours later, the G-boys are driving up to the Wal*Mart parking lot. Duo is squished in the back seat, sandwiched with Heero on his left and Quatre on his right:: DUO: GEEZ, WU-MAN! TOOK YA LONG ENOUGH!!! WUFEI: Well, it was a long ways away! HEERO (in a calm but irritated voice): Wufei, Wal*Mart is only three miles from our place... WUFEI: I got lost, okay! It's pretty easy to get lost with a navigator like this! ::Wufei points to Trowa, who is reading, er, trying to read an already-used connect-the-dots book:: TROWA: It's not my fault that somebody over here doesn't look at what he gives me for a map! DUO: Oh, so now it's my fault! QUATRE: Enough fighting, you guys! Let's just go inside. ::Duo and Heero fight to get out of the passenger side first, completely crushing Quatre in doing so:: ::Inside Wal*Mart:: QUATRE: Thank you, sir! (*turning to the rest of the G-Wing boys*) Okay, you heard that! So I'll see you guys in about five hours! Have fun! ::Quatre smiles cutely and waves. Trowa waves back as Quatre turns and walks away with the biggest shopping cart that Wal*Mart could find:: DUO: Man, this sucks! I thought that we were gonna get a little of the money for ourselves! WUFEI: Maybe you shouldn't be so selfish, Duo. HEERO: I'm going to the electronics department. ::Trowa, Duo, and Wufei stare:: HEERO: I have to buy a laptop. ::Trowa, Duo, and Wufei take a step away from Heero, looking shocked:: HEERO: Allow me to rephrase that. I have to buy a laptop to blow up. TROWA/DUO/WUFEI: Oooooooooohhh. Okay! ::Heero leaves towards the electronics department:: DUO: This bites. C'mon, Trowa, let's go wreak some havoc. ::Trowa and Duo leave towards the little kiddies' toy department:: WUFEI: ........ ::Wufei leaves heading in the general direction of nowhere:: ::In the toy department:: DUO: Ooooooooooooooooooh... (*staring at mecha doll*) Pretty weapons..... ::Suddenly, and ugly little kid comes, dragging his/her mother behind him/her:: (ugly little kid): Mommy, Mommy! Look at this! (*picks up mecha doll*) DUO: MINE! (*grabs mecha doll away from ugly little kid*) (ugly little kid): (*begins screaming at the top of his/her lungs*) WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! DUO: AACK! Shut up! I'm sorry, okay? I said I'm sorry! SHUT UP! ::The ugly little kid continues crying as Duo tries to cover his/her mouth to silence him/her:: (ugly little kid's mother): You fiend! Meanie! Hooligan! Wicked, callous brute! Get away from my child! (*begins whacking Duo with her purse*) DUO: Ow! Owies! That really hurts! ::The aisle is filled with the sounds of the ugly little kid's crying, the mother's raving, Duo's hollers of "OWIES!" and Trowa chucklin under his breath:: DUO: Trowa, help me! AACK!! TROWA: You got yourself into this, you can get yourself out... ::In the mens' clothing section:: QUATRE: They never have my colour here... (*picks up a brown shirt*) How ugly! (*picks up a grey shirt*) Boring! (*replaces the "ugly, boring" shirts and leaves the area*) ::Heero is in the electronics department looking at the laptops. A nasty child walks by, staring at Heero:: HEERO: Grrrrrrrr... (nasty child): (*gasps*) (*begins to form tears and runs off in absolute terror*) HEERO: Heh heh heh... ::Heero spots a worker person walk by at the end of the aisle:: HEERO: Hn? (*lightbulb*) HEERO: EXCUSE ME! (*runs after the worker person and fakes panting real hard*) I have been looking for you everywhere! It seems we have a Code 3 in housewares! (worker person) (nervously): Are you sure? (*Heero nods*) OH MY GOD!!! I'll go get help right now!! ::The worker person picks up a Wal*Mart phone on a nearby support beam. Heero observes what he presses to get the loudspeaker:: (worker person on loudspeaker): ATTENTION ALL PERSONNEL! WE HAVE A CODE 3 IN THE HOUSEWARES DEPARTMENT! I'M GOING TO NEED BACKUP FOR THIS!!! (random worker person number one): whaa...? (random worker person number two): cood 3? wats that? (random worker person number three): do i git candee 4 dis? (worker person): GAH! I'll just have to handle this on my own! ::He begins to run in the direction of housewares when Heero's conscience suddenly kicks in.:: HEERO: (Dammit!) Hey, wait a second! (worker person): What is it? HEERO: Er, sorry about this. [*punches the worker person in the stomach (yes, stomach) so hard that he's knocked out*] Couldn't let that get out of hand... ::In the hunting department:: WUFEI: Why don't they have katanas here? No swords at all! I'm going to have to go complain... ::Meanwhile...:: ::Duo is covered in bruises and scratches and is completely demoralized. He had to give the ugly little kid the mecha doll before the mother could use the rest of the pepper spray:: DUO: Ooowwwww..... (*continues moaning in pain*) TROWA: You know, Duo, you didn't need that mecha doll. After all, you own the real thing, not just a doll... DUO: Oh, yeah, huh! (*begins moaning in pain*) Thanks, Trowa! ^_^ TROWA: (*sweatdrop*) This is boring. Let's go destroy something. ::Back to Wufei:: WUFEI (yelling at the stupid worker person): WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE KATANAS?! YOU HAVE TO HAVE SWORDS OF SOME KIND!!! (stupid worker person): i, uh, er... could u say that again? WUFEI (yelling louder than should be legal): WHY DON'T YOU HAVE KATANAS?!?!?! (stupid worker person): o! i unnerstan. uh, lets see... (*thinks really hard*) uuuummmmmmmmm... i dont kno. WUFEI: Grrrrrrr... ::Quatre has migrated to the womens' clothing department:: QUATRE: Much better! (*picks up a pretty, frilly, pink shirt*) This is so much prettier! ::Quatre starts to pile shirts into his cart. As he moves to another rack, he hears a shirt say, "pick me, pick me!":: QUATRE: Why, of course, pretty shirt! I'll choose you! ::As he picks up the shirt from the rack, the faces of Duo smothering his laughter and Trowa smiling suspiciously are revealed:: QUATRE: Oh, I should have known it was you two! ::Duo and Trowa run off to continue their rampage of terror:: ::Wufei is walking around with his cart:: WUFEI: Why aren't there any decent weapons? There's nothing worth looking-- Hmm? What's this...? ::He turns to look at a gun with curiosity. When he looks back at his cart it's filled to the brim with...:: WUFEI: What? Condoms?! MAXWELL!!! ::Wufei sees two mysterious figures running away snickering. In his frustration, he storms off to go complain about the weapons again:: ::Somewhere near the restrooms:: (even stupider worker person): waz dis? (*he spots a trail of a, er, yellowish-green liquid [::cough::] heading towards the restrooms*) (even stupider worker person): eeeeeewwwwwwwwww.... i's better go 'n gets a mop 2 kleen dis up wif.. ::The even stupider worker person heads to the restroom labeled mens':: (fat woman): EEEEEEPPPP!!! you HAG! Pervert! Get out! Shoo! Out, out, out!!! (*begins hitting the even stupider worker person over the head with her nasty purse*) (even stupider worker person): oweez! hmph. i wonner who swich'd da sines... DUO: SHINIGAMI STRIKES AGAIN! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (*runs away giggling*) ::The even stupider worker person looks where Duo was hiding and notices three empty bottles of Mountain Dew laying on the tile floor:: ::Back to Quatre:: QUATRE: Gee, Trowa, I sure am glad you came to shop with me instead of hanging out with that meanie Duo. TROWA: Anything to make you happy.. (*quick smooch*) ::As they continue walking, they reach a huge carpeted section of pretty womens' clothing:: QUATRE: Oh, joy! I can use my money here! ::In the middle of the carpeted section, there is a small area with nothing in it. Except, that is, for the sign on the floor that reads 'CAUTION: WET FLOOR':: TROWA (sarcastically): Hm, I wonder who put that there... QUATRE: These clothes are so beautiful! TROWA: (*sigh*) (this is gonna be a long day..) ::Wufei is at the Customer Service desk speaking to a retarded idiot worker person:: (retarded idiot worker person): dduuuuuuuhhh, c'n aye halp yoo? WUFEI: Yes, as a matter of fact, you can. I was wondering where you keep the ninja stars and other sharp metal objects. I would like to perchase some decent weapons, and I cannot seem to find any. (retarded idiot worker person): dduuuuuuuhhh, was uh weppin? WUFEI: No, you moron! (*speaking slowly as if yo a small child*) A WEAPON! Like a NINJA STAR! (retarded idiot worker person): OH! Sters r purty.... (*continues mumbling something about stars and the one-way conversation mutates into hot dogs and glue, then simply to incoherent babbling*) WUFEI: INJUSTICE! ::Quatre and Trowa are still shopping together::: Everyone like so far? Good. It gets even better, too! ^_^ But I have to get offline now (stupid phone bill), so just be paintent and wait for the rest, okey dokey? |
| Gundam Wing is owned by Sunrise, Sotsu Agency |
|
|
| A Gundam Wing Wal*Mart Story |