Silly Stuff

::above::

why daddies shouldn't buy kids clothes!!

Here is the link (after much pestering from Chris) for the funky monkey...go...watch him dance!

::NEW SLANG DICTIONARY, 2001::

Aussie Kiss:
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

Beer Coat:
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.

Beer Compass:
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live, how you get there, and where you've come from.

Bone of Contention:
A hard-on that causes an argument. e.g. one that arises when a man is watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.

Breaking the Seal:
Your 1st piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

Cider Visor:
Beer Goggles for the young drinker.

Cliterature:
1-handed reading material.

Cock-A-Doodle-Poo:
The bowel movement that, needing to come out urgently, wakes you up in the morning to get to the toilet quick.


Etch-A-Sketch:
Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her nipples simultaneously.

Fizzy Gravy:
or Rusty Water. Diarrhoea.

Flogging On:
Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.

Free the Tadpoles:
Liberate the residents of Wank Tanks.

Frigmarole:
Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.

FuckShitFuckShitFuckShit:
The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.

Going For a McShit:
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is McShit With Lies.

Greyhound:
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

Hand-to-Gland Combat:
A vigorous masturbation session.

Hefty Cleft:
or Horse's Collar, or Welly Top. Description of a very large vagina.

Millennium Domes:
The contents of a Wonderbra. i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually fuck-all in there worth seeing.

Mystery Bus:
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

10-Pinter:
Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.

NBR:
No Beers Required. Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub.
The opposite of a 10-Pinter.

Picasso Arse:
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.

2-Bagger:
Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with. (1 to
cover their head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off.)

Titanic:
A lady who goes down first time out.

Todger Dodger:
A lesbian.

X-Piles:
Unwanted visitors from Uranus.

thanks to Smudger for these ::ahem:: wonderful new additions to our already foul vocabulary

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