v Hi! This fic is based on what I feel Tenchi Muyo would be like if Tenchi never chose one of the girls and they all grew old like normal humans. ^.^ It’s not meant to be serious, or even realistic. Just a funny little thing I came up with on a message board! So enjoy and send all comments to me at: j_delight@hotmail.com
An aged Tenchi walks into his home, cane and all.
Almost immediatly Ryoko rushes at a whole 2 mph at Tenchi, bowling him over and breaking her hip.
Ryoko: Oh, Tenchi! Come share a bottle of prune juice with me!
Aeka enters slowly, supported by her slightly younger sister.
Aeka (in a quiverring old lady voice): Ryoko! You leave Lord Tenchi alone! Stop trying to seduce him, you evil demon beast! Oh, my back!
Washu walks in, a long gray beard dangling to the floor and a big wooden cane in one hand. She hits Aeka and Ryoko over the head with the wooden stick.
Washu: Everyone (cough) knows I'm (cough) the girl for (cough) Tenchi! (wheez) I'm just so (cough) kawaii! (wheez, cough, sneeze)
Mihoshi chooses this moment to cause an explosion in Washu's lab, causing the scientist to have a heart attack and fall back on her butt, dead.
Nobuyuki now enters in his wheel chair- a blanket on his lap and a camcorder in his hand.
Nob.: Oh, Tenchi! Smile!
Ryoko is still lying on Tenchi since she broke her hip and cannot move. She starts rubbing her saggy body against Tenchi, elisiting a cry of horror from the gray haired old man.
Tenchi: Ryoko! Stop it! I need my medication! Get off of me! (snorts into a hankerchief)
Aeka: You leave Lord Tenchi alone! I will destroy you!
Aeka now energizes her power logs, and prepares to trap Ryoko in a forcefield.
Aeka: Prepare to die!
The logs come to life, giving Ryoko static cling. Then they dissapear and Aeka wheezes from the strain.
Ryoko: Oh no... Now I need to use Snuggle! You know how much I hate those little sheets! You'll pay princess!
Tenchi sweat drops.
Ryo-Ohki now enters, limp-hopping up to Tenchi and begging for some mashed carrots.
The entire house starts to rumble as *gasp* the Soja flies above the house. The crippled form of Kagato materializes in front of Tenchi, and accidentally farts.
Kagato: Oooops... Anyway! Prepare to die, Tenchi! I have finally managed to resurrect myself from death, and I will destroy you all! (Kagato now sneezes, causing another fart to escape his body) Damn medecine! I can't control my wind!
Tenchi sits up, Ryoko is now under Kagato's control. Ryoko manages to fire one small ball of energy at Tenchi's foot before she has to go find some prune juice for her bowels. Tenchi now has only one foot, which he uses to kick Kagato in the knee. Kagato crumbles, farts sounding from his body as if he were a tuba.
Kagato: You may have (fart) defeated me now- but (fart) I will have my revenge upon you! Beware the powers of Kagato, you foolish boy.. I mean old man! (fart, fart, fart)
Kagato then is beamed back up to the Soja, and makes his get away. Tenchi stands on his one good foot, using dead Washu's cane, and goes off to the kitchen to make Ryo-Ohki some carrot mush.
~The End~
O_O O_o o_o o_O O_O
I
love Brownies!