Stuff I Think About

[November 7, 2001] Isn't life strange? Well, I'm basically just bumming around the world doing not much of anything and wanting even less, when it hits me. All this time I could have been doing evil things!!! Well, not evil evil things, but I could be so much different from what I am. I think I'll go do some evil contemplation and then probably go off into the woods to start my own little cult, or perhaps become a hermit. I'll write a few books, draw some, make a fool of myself, and top it all of with my insanity. Hurray! Also- I'm in love with a fantasy. Isn't it nice when you have a dream of someone who isn't real and they stick in your head making you wish that you could be with them all the time? Poo... Ah, well, at least we always have the dream. *sigh... stares off into space remembering the beauty of those dreams... laaaaaa*

[August 26, 2001] Wow, guess what! My little brother has just bought a Playstation 2. It took all of his birthday money- and then some- but he did it... I'm so jealous! ^.^ Anyway, I was amazed at this game "Twisted Metal: Black". I'd played the other earlier versions, but their lack of personal interest and playability left something to be desired. In the newest offering we get a little peek into the minds of those psychos whose cars we love to smash, crash, and generally destroy. The cinemas for each character are actually very well done, and creepy. I haven't had a chance to finish seeing them all, in fact we have to return the game to Blockbuster tomorrow O_O, but the movies I have seen are somewhat chilling. This comes from a girl (me) who laughed all the way through Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1&2 (okay, so they were really cheesy) and who thought Silence of the Lambs was "awesome" and a little under done in the gore department. It could have been the fact that it was two in the morning and I'd been awake for twenty-seven hours, but I have to applaud the makers of this video game for finally putting some personality into the psychos. However, the fact that all of the scenes played out very similarly was a bit of a disappointment. I would have liked to see more variation in the underlying theme. Also, the fact that many of the characters had problems that could actually be easily fixed dulled the shock of it all a bit. I mean, c'mon! The character Dollface, I believe that was her name, was hard to fathom. You don't need a key to open a mask someone locked on your head! I'm sure someone could get it off of you. A few adjustments to the hindge at the top of the mask's head and you could have pulled it apart somewhat easily. There were other similar problems I had with the story line, but we can leave it at that. Who knows? Perhaps all of these concerns stem from the fact that my little brother has hogged it so much that I've only been able to get a generalized idea at what the makers were trying to get across with this game. As far as game play- I found it to be much better than that of the previous Twisted Metal games. You can actually TURN in this one! ^.^ I also really enjoyed mowing down pedestrians and ramming civilian vehicles. The weapons are simply beautiful. Instead of the boring straight tail left behind by rockets of yore, TM:B's missiles create gorgeous and wiggly tails! The variety of weapons is great, and I've always loved the specials. The gaming terrain is also awesome. It's great to watch the rain cascade across your wind shield as you drum your opponent's lifeless and flame engulfed corpse with bullets! Anyway, for a generally non-violent person such as myself this game was great! I got to pretend I was a psycho killer behind the wheel of a gas guzzling monster for a little while. Now, if only I could get a PS2... It really isn't fair! I'm five years older than the little squirt! *pulls out rocket launcher* Well, I will have my revenge on that pustulent boy! Calypso gave me an offer I just couldn't refuse...
(Hehehe, J/K! I couldn't help myself!)

[March 27] Oooooh, it's been awhile! Well- I've done alot since I last wrote here. Alot of thinking and being annoyed mostly. I've gotten into Ranma 1/2 within the past few months. It's the BEST! I love it so much! I wish I could afford to buy it- but I'm poor! I just love Ryouga! He's so cute! He has fangs, just like me! And neither of us can get directions right, either! We were meant for each other! Hehehehehe. I've gotten totally into the fan fics, too! It's great! I just wish that I could rent the entire series- but there's only a smattering of Ranma 1/2 tapes here and there. -_-;;; Damn. I guess I'll have to get a job. Damn damn damn damn damn! Ah crap. I was gonna write a novel, too! Now I won't have the time. But I HAVE to get a DVD player and all the Ranma 1/2 DVD's. That's my goal. Sadly- though, I've only got $70 to my name. Blah. Gawd I need somebody to just give me some money! That would kick ass! Just walking down the street and some billionare gives me a huge check! Cooooooool! But it won't happen x_x Boo hoo hooo!

[Feb. 10] I HATE bigots! They all must DIE! He he he he. Well, anyway, tee hee. Not much to yell about. I'm supposed to go to a friend's b-day party! I'm excited. I havn't celebrated mine in YEARS... It's always fun to go to a party though! I've signed on to this really cool RPG- I want all of you to go there and sign up too- we really need some girls! Here's the URL: Bebi-Vegeta's and Gogeta's RPG. If you don't like DBZ, don't go though. No point then. [Edit: That RPG is now closed- I don't do them anymore seeing as the people who are usually a part of them aren't very interesting. No offence, hehehe.] O_o Woooooooo... I've been looking at 'tobacco accesories' on the net, so I'm a little tripped out right now. Oh, yeah, Kids: NEVER DO DRUGS!!! THEY ARE BAD FOR YOU AND THEY HATE YOU!!! THEY WILL KILL YOUR SOUL AND LEAVE ONLY A HOLLOW SHELL OF WASTED FLESH. YOU WILL BE FOREVER TORMENTED BY SATAN AND GOD WILL HATE YOU!!! SO DON'T DO DRUGS! BE CLEAN LIKE ME, AND THEN MAYBE YOU'LL LIVE PAST 50! THAT IS ALL....

[Jan. 23] Ug! I hate those dudes on AIM! This guy had the nerve to say 'gross' things to me! He didn't even know how old I was or even if I was a girl! I could have been some 10 year old kid! Gawd! I wish they could just keep it in their pants! Yuck! After that I blocked out everyone but my 'buddies'! Serves those perves right! Anyhoo! I added a buncha banners of all different sizes (for my page) to my page! Mebe that way I can keep this place goin! Pretty soon I'm probably gonna need more space with the way I'm uploading things! ^.^

[Jan. 18] Well, now! Once again I've stayed up until morning. Strangly, it's almost 8AM, and I'm still not sleeping! There must be something wrong with me. Ah, well... I just put some Sailor Moon gifs up, ha ha, why (?) you may ask- because I can! Bwah ha ha ha! Anyway- I can't resist a good SD animated gif! If it's super deformed and animated- I've got it or will someday get it! Actually- that's not true- but I wish it were. I wish we could wear them! Like have little screens on a ring with SDs jumping and frollicing around! That would be fun! But- knowing my life- somebody'll read this- make it happen and get millionsa bucks, while I slave away trying to make a living off of writing. Ug, but people are too rich! Too bad communism will never work! Too many things for too much money! Too many greedy, lazy people living in filth. I guess I wouldn't exactly care if I were rich- I'd be like "Heck, no! You can't have my money!" and cheat on taxes. Of course- not being rich- I want everyone to suffer just as badly as I do! I only get one crappy TV- you only get one crappy TV! I only get one ugly car- same for you, buddy! I can't afford ice cream every day, you can't afford it either! I can't get a PS2, neither can you! Ha ha ha ha ha! Mk, I shut up now!

[Jan. 6] Ho ho ho! Well, today someone sent me a virus! Thank goodness I'm not stoopid! Tee hee, what a jerk! Ah, well... nothing I can do about it. I guess the best advice is to never open an attachment if you don't scan it first- and especially don't open one if the actual e-mail is crazy sounding! Well, but you already know this... I just rented The Cell from Blockbuster... What a movie! Although it didn't have the best plot, the visual effects and basis of the movie were stunning! It also had one of my favorite actors in it! I know- you think I'll say Jennifer Lopez or Vince Vaughn, but no! I really like Vincent D'Onofrio! Ha ha! The first time I saw him in anything (in which I recognized him! Tee hee!) was in The 13th Floor... (I really think he's a good looking blond- ha ha!) I recommend that as well. After that I'd see him in this and that and I'd think- well now- that guy has the right idea! Keep yourself out of the mainstream and focus on just the characters. So- then I of course became slightly obsessed- for about 5 minutes- until I realized how stupid that was and just appriciated the fact that he was willing to share even some small part of himself with us pee-ons. He he. That's another thing I hate- obsessive fans... These people don't love you [Alright, 'you' doesn't necissarily mean YOU! I'm sorry if I sound mean- I just wrote it like this at first and thus I am too lazy to amend it](they'd probably hate you if they knew you! Ha ha ha, I'm just kidding!)- they never will, most likely- and even if they did somehow fall madly in love with you- you'd be really dissapointed when life didn't become one giant action/adventure/romance/etc.etc. movie. Hrmph... At the most you'd just end up with another man or woman bent on living, breeding, and someday dieing. Not that that's a bad thing... just don't think they'll sweep you off your feet on a flying horse or that any of them are deeper than your average Earthling. Hee heee... It's too bad- I really do wish that Romeo was coming to take me away on a magical adventure, but at best I can hope for roses occasionally and perhaps a three bedroom house in the 'burbs. And that's being positive! I could wind up in a trailor with seventy kids, none of 'em by the same man. That's why I will never give in! I will become the first to live a life devoid of all pretense and romance! I will focus on nothing at all, and yet concentrate very hard on the voices in my head........ Okay- now I'm just writing mindless nonsence only Freud or a drunken penguin could decipher. Maybe I should write my own colomn? Ravings of a Madwoman: The True Face of Psychosis in America. Speaking of psychos- I've been listening to that old Radiohead song "Paranoid Android" and I swear I can hear my mother yelling my name in there... I also hear Satan telling me to eat the faces of little children, but I really don't think it would taste very good (hee hee hee)... Anyway: viruses and obsession bad, movies and Vincent D'Onofrio good. Oh, and don't listen to them... they aren't really there...

[Jan. 4] He he, I am so into this RPG right now... it's called Suikoden 2! Cute, huh? I just can't get over all the different names there are out there for the "hero" guy. Since there is no preset name everyone has their own! Mine is 'Hirotomi'. He he, I hope it doesn't mean anything bad in some foreign language... Oh, and I had one called Korosu, but that one was evil... Alot of things seem to go evil around me... My gerbil used to be a little blonde thing, then after about a week with me, it turned brown- with a big black 'x' on it's forehead. It bites EVERYONE. Now, my cats are going insane... I think there must be something wrong... The bad spirits are collecting around me... Oh, speaking of collecting things, I just bought some really wierd doll... its clothes are PLASTIC! Yes, I know, only little girls play with dolls... But I can still revert every so often! Tee hee... Well, that's all I've thought of today... Ah, well... Back to my strange evil life!

Wanna berate me for my insanity? Well, don't! But I do like to get e-mail! Ha ha!