As you may or may not know, I have a cat named Crunchy. One day we decided to go to "The Chicked Barn" a local KFC-like place. As we were eating and telling about our day as well as making fun of our third grade teacher, I started choking on one of the bones of a drumstick. As I was choking, Crunchy just looked at me, laughed, and kept eating (Such a loving companion). I kept choking and then everything went blank...
I then went through this strange vortex with cloud like things in it. I saw a light and headed right into it. When I came upon some mysterious cloud formation. I commented the surroundings with the "GE: we bring good things to life!" tune and then I saw a Santa Claus-like person. He said his name was "Saint Peter" (whoever that is.), and he showed me every event in my life. He told me of how I burned an action figure to death and how I barely gave a cent to the less fortunate. I said that I wasn't paid enough and he sighed.
I finally asked him "So do I get to go to heaven?" He replied with a grin "nope!" I was then sent to the most awful place I have ever seen. I believe it was Hell, and I saw people screaming in agony over Barbara Striesand and Celine Dion songs. And then I saw Satan Himself! He was filled with fury and demanded my soul. I then got my ex-girlfriend's Celine Dion CD and played it. A strong rumble was heard all over Hell, and then I was back to our miserable world of Earth by being thrown out due to an earthquake. Crunchy told me that she brought me to the local hospital and I had to put up with regular food injections due to the extreme damage and wearing out of my esophogous. Well, now I have advised Bill Gates to buy Hell. Satan, you haven't heard the last of me yet! heh heh heh...