WHY, YOU MIGHT ASK, SHOULD I BOTHER TO WRITE-IN MIKE HORNER'S NAME WHEN I COULD JUST AS EASILY VOTE FOR GEORGE (DUB-YUH) BUSH? WELL THERE ARE MANY REASONS NOT TO VOTE FOR BUSH. BUT THERE IS ONLY ONE REASON TO VOTE FOR ME.
AS YOUR NEXT PRESIDENT, I, MIKE HORNER, PLEDGE TO PROMOTE HAPPINESS AND FUN.
YES, I AM THE ONLY PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT COMMITTED TO THE GOALS OF HAPPINESS AND FUN. HOW MUCH FUN YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA GET WITH GEORGE "DUB-YUH" BUSH? NOT TOO MUCH (BARRING A RELAPSE INTO HIS ALCOHOL AND COCAINE ADDICTIONS - NOW THAT COULD BE FUN, BUT STILL NOT VERY HAPPY).
SO GO AHEAD, WASTE YOUR VOTE ON ONE OF THE OTHER LOSERS. BUT IF YOU WANT SOME HAPPINESS AND SOME FUN, WRITE MY NAME ON YOUR BALLOT INSTEAD.
