Exercise 5
Sexual Healing
For many years I fantasized about a lovemaking ritual where the man of my dreams strips me naked and blindfolds me. He leads me into a room and removes the blindfold. I am in a room filled with beautiful white candles. There is a large bed with a white sheet, and the sheet is covered with rose petals. He asks me to lie on the bed, and then he makes love to me, massaging my body with the rose petals. There is a large gilded mirror in front of the bed. We make love for hours.
Well, I waited, and waited for some man to appear who would know that this was what I wanted more than anything in the world, and he never showed up. A few years later, I found a sexual healing ritual in a book called “Dancing The Wheel,” by Wabun and Sun Bear. The ritual was very close to the fantasy I had been dreaming of for so long. The difference between the ritual and my fantasy was that it could be performed solo or with a partner.
It occurred to me that I was the man of my dreams, and I decided to perform the ritual on my own. The experience was a major breakthrough in loving myself. I performed it several times on my own, and then I was able to share the space with a man that I loved later on.
Each time I have performed this ritual, I have experienced a profound sexual healing. To me, this ritual reconnects me to the very essence of beauty. There is a sense of comfort and safety that comes over me when performing this ritual that is beyond description. I feel fully erotic and innocent. I feel empowered.
1. Buy at least a dozen red roses.
2. Fill a room with white candles.
3. Play your favorite sensual music, preferably something peaceful and relaxing that will help you to fall into a blissful meditative state.
4. Cover the bed with a sheet, preferably white. (You could also lay the sheet out on the floor, but you will want something beneath it to cushion your body for comfort).
5. Gently pull the petals from the roses and scatter them lovingly over the sheet.
6. Light the candles, dim the lights, adjust the music to a level that will sooth you, and take a deep breath to ground yourself.
7. I highly suggest lighting a sage bundle and smudging your body and the room. If you are not familiar with smudging, it is simply a matter of lighting a sage bundle, fanning out the flame, and letting the smoke cleanse your body and the energy in the room. (Be sure to extinguish the sage completely after smudging, because it is dry and highly combustible. I find it is best to dip my sage bundle in water when I’m done using it and let dry out before I use it again.)
8. Call on the force of unconditional love and infinite light to receive the blessing of sexual healing. When you feel the light of love enter your heart, position yourself comfortably on the sheet with the rose petals.
9. Massage your body with the rose petals. Let the petals caress your skin and follow your intuition. Let the flow of energy guide you. Massage every inch of your body with the rose petals. You will find that you can feel the parts of your body that need the energy of this healing the most. Pay special attention to these areas. Massage them with the petals with love and care. If you are working with a partner, you can take turns massaging each other.
10. When you are finished with the massage, take some time to experience the energy of the healing in stillness. Lie still and breathe. Meditate quietly, and receive the blessing you are being given.
11. Surrender to your bliss. Let the healing energy guide you. You may feel like making love to yourself or to your partner now. Don’t try to force anything to happen. Let the healing energy flow through you and carry you without any agenda or expectations. You may be pleasantly surprised. Expect the unexpected.
12. Before you come out of this ritual space, take some time to reflect on your experience. Stay connected. If you are with a partner and you have climaxed, stay in contact with each other. Hold your partner. Talk to your partner. Listen. If you are flying solo, listen to your heart. Breathe. Receive the thoughts and images that are coming into your heart and mind. Listen to your soul.
For those of you who try this ritual, I wish you joy. Don’t worry if the sheets are stained from the rose petals. The stains will wash out easily. Repeat this ritual as often as you wish. You may want to add to it or create your own variations. Follow your bliss.