The were now driving in a rental car to a ski town nearby. Hopefully they would be able to find somewhere to stay, despite the fact that everything was probably booked through the holidays.

Once in town, JC drove around aimlessly. Chris fidgeted in the passenger seat, and Lance and Justin had dozed off. Joey, once again, was staring out the window. He was lonely. In a car with his four closest friends and he was still lonely.

He supposed he would feel better if he didn't harbor feelings toward one particular bandmate -- one who he suspected couldn't return his feelings, at least not in an intimate manner.

They drove down and particularly busy street, full of people shopping or whatever. Chris bounced up and down in his seat. "Now, here's some action," he said. "This must be Main street."

"Yeah, and I feel like an 'exile on main street.'" Joey thought. Chris had been listening to that damn album for almost two weeks now, and it was driving him up the wall. Not that Chris couldn't drive him up the wall without the damn music.

He remembered last winter when they were in Arlington, or whatever city it was, in Virginia. They had gone to a particularly drunken party, and got most particularly drunk. Joey ended up all over a very passed out Chris, until he himself passed out. When he gained consciousness, he was mortified that Chris might remember something, but he never did. He just shoved Joey off him in the morning an vowed never to drink again.

It had occurred to him to just tell Chris how he was feeling. After all, he was closest to Chris, and if he couldn't tell Chris, how could he tell anybody.

And then there was the part about being gay. Now that was something he truly felt guilty for not revealing to the guys. He even had gone so far as to flirt with girls any chance he had. He didn't do it as much anymore, but still, he had gotten a reputation.

JC made another loop around to main street again. This time, Joey took notice of the bustling scenery. Against each storefront, there was a snowshovel, or snowblower, and the whole street was lined with white and purple Christmas lights. In front of a toy store, kids were building a giant sand castle, out of snow, of course. They passed a coffee shop, and he could smell them roasting coffee beans.

"Hey," he said. "Let's stop for coffee."

An unenthusiastic groan came from the sleepy pair beside him. JC rolled his eyes at him in the rearview mirror.

"I don't know about these party-poopers, Joe," Chris said. "But I would love some coffee about now."

JC pulled the car over. "Okay, you two can go, but be careful," he said. "Me and the coma twins will go find a place to stay."

"Dude, if you weren't driving, you'd be the coma triplets," Chris said, as he got out of the car.

Joey laughed, and felt relieved to be out in open space. It didn't matter how big the bus was, or how roomy the rental car was, they were both damn small once one had been in them for an extended time.

Chris put his arm on Joey's shoulder as they walked to the coffee shop. "Have you been feeling okay, Joe," he asked.

Joey knew that it was a rhetorical question. Chris knew that something wasn't right. He had asked Joey about it on the bus, too.

"I dunno if I want to talk about it," Joey said, acknowledging and avoiding the question at the same time.

"Well, maybe once we get a latte into you, you'll feel like talking." Chris wrapped his arm around his neck, and Joey smiled at the comfort it brought him.

They walked into the coffee shop, and no heads turned. They hoped it would stay like that for the duration of their stay.

"Whatcha gettin?" Joey asked, as they approached the counter.

"I don't know, you order first."

Their barista smiled at them widely, but didn't make a big deal of the fact that she obviously knew who they were. Joey smiled back, grateful that she had the tact not to freak out. "I'll have a latte mocha, please," he said.

Chris was still scrunching his face over the vast menu of drinks. He finally gave up. "What do you like to drink?" he asked the girl.

"You don't want to know," she said.

"Try me."

"How about a double soy latte with hazelnut and coconut?"

Chris hesitated, and Joey whacked his arm. "Okay," he said. "Sounds good."

When she handed them their drinks, Joey winked at her, rather in appreciation than in character with his flirtatiousness.

They took a seat by the window so they could watch the goings on outside. Joey was thankful, because he could focus his attention elsewhere, instead of staring at Chris as he would have liked.

He must have been distracting himself too well, because he didn't notice as Chris made silly faces at him.

Joey turned his head just in time to see Chris place his fingers at his forehead like he had horns and stick his tongue out. "Your face is gonna stick that way, you know," he said. Chris gave him a dirty look and Joey continued. "Oh, wait. It already has!"

Chris laughed, and then a bit of seriousness came over his features.

"Joe, are you going to tell me what's wrong, or do I have to keep annoying you," he said, and batted his eyelashes.

Joey's stomach churned as if he had gone on a carousel too many times. "I don't know if I can. It's going to be difficult."

"Is it that bad?" Chris asked. He reached across the table to touch Joey's hand.

"No, it's not bad, just... complicated."

"Well, then can I tell you something?" Chris looked out the window, preparing himself.

The hairs on Joey's neck stood up, making it difficult for Joey to nod.

"I'm sorry I've been keeping this from you for so long," he said and sighed deeply, hoping to relax himself. "I'm gay. And I've know that for years now. Ever since college, and-"

Joey reached across and put a hand over Chris' babbling mouth. He could feel a weak smile form under his palm, making himself smile widely.

Chris moved Joey's hand from his mouth. "Let me finish. And I've wondered about you sometimes," he said. "I've seen things in you that make me suspect that you might be, too."

Joey closed his eyes, hoping that the nausea that hit him once again would dissipate. He opened them again when he felt Chris' hands in his.

"I'm right, aren't I." he said.

"Uh-huh," Joey said, weakly.

"That makes all the difference, you know," Chris said. "Now I won't have to feel alone."

Joey smiled and wondered just when Chris had gotten into his head.

End.

Originally written as an *Mprov on 11/12/00, with the words Arlington, exile on main street, snowshovel, sand castle, carousel.