"Joey, what's your problem?" I asked.

"Nuthiiin." He shrugged. He turned his back to me to pour himself a cup of coffee, and I looked him up and down.

He had already showered and dressed. He wore purple corduroy pants, only the lines in them were wavy, a black wifebeater and a black short-sleeved shirt that wasn't buttoned at the bottom. God. How can he look like this? In the morning no less.

He sat down next to me at the table and smiled. "Chris, I'm so glad you bought the arabica type coffee this time. That other shit just wasn't cutting it."

"That's all you need this morning, caffeine," I said. "Why the hell are you in such a good mood?"

"Cuz," he said. His grin got sillier.

"Are you drunk?"

"No."

"Did you dive into the shallow end?"

"No."

I reached up and felt his forehead for signs of warmth. Nope. Just regular old Joe temperature. Why the hell was he so perky?

"Did you get laid last night?" I asked, and tried not to let my voice crack.

"Nope."

I wanted to press further, but Justin took the opportunity to walk in.

"Word! Where's ma cereal," he shouted.

He sat down and I smacked him on the back of the head. "Don't yell," I said. "Other people are probably asleep."

"Just Josh," Justin said. "And he sleeps like the dead anyway." He poured himself an extra large bowl of Peanut Butter Crunch.

"Yeah, but your shrieky voice could wake the dead," Joey said. He and I burst out laughing, Justin just glared and chomped.

"So Chris, what are you doing today," Joey said. His face barely contained his smile.

"Nuthin," I said, trying to play his game.

"Okay, then you're coming with me today," he said. He stood up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. "So go get showered."

"Yeah, do us all the favor, you stink," Justin said.

"Ha ha fro boy," I said. I pulled at one of his curls then put my dishes into the sink and headed upstairs.

I showered, and wondered just what Joey was planning as I shaved. Actually, it didn't matter, because whatever it was, I'd be spending time with him. Alone.

"Ow!" My razor slipped from my hand and hit my other on the wrist. Blood spurted like stigmata and went down the drain.

Mental note: Don't think of Joey while shaving.

********

We had been driving for a while, and I still had no clue where he was taking me. I flipped through his CDs and found one I hadn't listened to in ages.

"Mmm. Music for the Masses -- good choice," he said. The silly grin returned.

I sung along with the first part of the song. I'm talking a ride with my best friend, I hope he never lets me down again was all that came out before I got the giggles. "Hey Joe, I guess this is our song."

His smile became, well, devious, and he raised and eyebrow in my direction. "I guess so," he said. "As long as you know 'who's wearing the trousers.'"

I squirmed in my seat. He wasn't supposed to be so damn sexy. I looked down cautiously at my lap, and, sure enough, the little elf was stirring.

I looked back up and Joey started humming. He knew! I blushed and turned my head to look at the boring scenery.

Joey took this opportunity to flip ahead a couple of tracks. He pulled the car over as the first gasps of "I want you now" played.

He put the car into park and kissed me. Suddenly all clothing was superfluous. He pulled me into the back seat as he pulled off my pants.

"So, where are we going, Joe?" I asked between sighs and kisses.

"I never said we'd be going anywhere," he said. "All I said was that you'd be coming with me."

End.

Originally written as an *Mprov on 11/2/00 with the words arabica, shallow end, stigmata, superfluous, Word!.