Lance watched as the throng of people thinned out a bit, all the while keeping his eye on a certain rival boyband. He had been nervous all night -- more agitated than he had ever been for an awards show -- not because they were nominated for several awards, but because of the man he was now staring at.

Joey walked up to Lance and followed his gaze over to the Backstreet Boys, who were talking amongst themselves, also waiting for the crowd to clear some. "You should go talk to him," Joey said, putting a hand on Lance's shoulder.

"No, it's not a big deal," Lance said.

"Not a big deal?" Joey said. "You have a huge crush on him. Go over there."

********

Earlier in the week, after checking into their hotel near midnight, Lance and Joey went out to eat, leaving the other guys to crash in their hotel rooms. It wasn't too unusual for Lance or Joey to be suddenly not tired after a long bus ride or airplane flight. Which meant they often spent the rest of their sleepless night in Denny's, their bodyguards in the next booth over.

Lance was half finished with his pecan pie and Joey was making designs on the table with the salt when the song came on. They looked at each other, grinned widely, and checked to see if the restaurant was empty enough to indulge in singing along.

"...Touch me now, don't bother. Every second it make me weaker..."

Joey threw his head back and belted out the bridge, "...I'm here for my confession, got nothing to hide no more..."

"...Now let me show you the shape of my heart..." They both overdramatized the ending, holding one hand over their heart, the other hand extended outward.

"You know, that song could be really deep if you think about it," Joey said.

"How so?" Lance said.

"See, you've got this guy, and he's stuck in this stereotype, this part he's always played into," Joey said. "But all of the sudden, he realizes that it's not worth it anymore, because there's someone he cares about, and he needs to be his real self for that person." Joey's hands were laid open on the table, and he would lift one or the other and clench it in a fist as a punctuation for certain words. "So the only way he can do that, is to ask for forgiveness for being someone he's not, and hope that this person will let him show the shape of his heart -- show the person who he really is, underneath the facade."

"Hmm," Lance said. "What if he's not forgiven?"

"Then he moves on, becomes the person he should have been in the first place," Joey said. "So he'll be able to get it right the next time."

Lance shook his head. "I think you're reading into it too much."

"That's just the thing, people would understand it if it weren't a cheesy pop song," Joey said. And they both laughed, thinking about their own cheesy pop songs.

"Just how is it that we knew all the words?" Lance asked, still laughing.

"Well, you know, it's always good to know what your enemies are up to," Joey said.

Lance snorted at that, but after thinking about it longer, he sighed. "I don't see why we have to be rivals -- they're nice guys, especially Howie," he said.

"You have a crush on Howie, don't you?" Joey said.

Lance flushed red, and tried not to stutter. "Why would you say that?"

"Well, it's just a guess, because whenever the Backstreet Boys are mentioned, you always say something about Howie," Joey said. He stirred his coke with his straw, waiting for Lance's embarrassment to deepen.

"But that doesn't mean--" Lance started.

"I also heard you say his name in your sleep, and not in a casual way either," Joey said. "More like in an 'ohhh Howie' way, proceeded by some moaning and grunting."

Lance buried his face in his arms. "Oh my goodness." It was true though -- he had a crush on Howie, a man he's known for a few years now, but whom he's never had much of a chance to get close to. And in the past week or so he had been having semi-erotic dreams about him. One particular dream started out with him helping Howie get away from a gun-toting stalker, and had ended with him pushing Howie back onto a flight of stairs, kissing him and grinding his hips into his groin. When he woke up, his heart was racing and he was very, very hard.

When he lifted his head back up, Joey was smiling at him. "You should go for it," Joey said. "We're going to see them this week -- you should flirt with him, see if he's interested."

"We'll see about that," Lance said.

********

"Who does Lance have a crush on?" Chris asked, suddenly wanting to be a part of the conversation.

"Lance likes Howie, and he won't go over and talk to him," Joey said, gesturing over at the Backstreet entourage.

"Oh, cool! I bet I could get him to come over here," Chris said, then stepped forward and cupped his hand around his mouth in preparation to yell over at Howie.

Lance pulled him back and shoved his arms down to his side. "Chris, don't you dare..."

"What?" Chris said, and wiggled out of Lance's grasp. "He's going to come over here anyway, he always does."

"Just don't do anything to embarrass me," Lance said.

Chris slumped his shoulders. "It's no fun that way."

Lance didn't have a chance to say anything else, because Howie was now walking towards them, grinning. "Hey guys," he said, and held his arms out.

Chris flashed his 'naughty little boy' grin at Lance, then turned to embrace his old friend. Lance stepped back and tried to hide behind Joey and wished that Chris had gone with JC and Justin to the bathroom.

Joey was next to be hugged, and he and Howie patted each other on the back briskly before letting go. Joey stepped back, and felt Lance hovering behind him.

"I think Lance wants a hug, too," Joey said. He put his hand against Lance's back and pushed him towards Howie.

"Oh, sorry," Howie said and held out his arms to Lance. "Of course."

Howie was more than happy to hug Lance, and feel the shift of Lance's muscles under his arms, the pressure of Lance's hands on his back. As his chin rested against Lance's shoulder, he caught Chris smiling at him and suggestively wagging his eyebrows. He hugged Lance a little tighter and realized that Lance wasn't letting go, which was okay, because neither was he.

When they disengaged, Howie looked up into a pair of stunned, but pleasantly happy green eyes, and smiled. He looked briefly over at the rest of his groupmates, and Kevin and AJ gave him a big thumbs up. Nick was talking to Brian and had his back turned to Howie, and he wondered if maybe it wasn't on purpose.

********

A month ago or so, they had been sitting in a hotel room, waiting to be shuttled to another interview. Kevin had gone into the bedroom for a nap, and Brian was sleeping on the chair near the window. AJ was staring into space listening to something on his discman, probably the new U2, and was also drifting off to dreamland. Howie and Nick had been reading the magazines left on the coffeetable for them to peruse. Most of them were teeny mags, as they kind of liked to keep tabs on the silly things that got printed about them in the slightly overpriced, usually badly written magazines that were targeted at their fans. But Howie always made sure that their assistants also picked up the occasional Entertainment Weekly, Preview, Rolling Stone, or Spin, which he was currently leafing through. Nick in particular liked to look through the teeny mags, because he loved to make comments on the lack of intelligence it must take to write the articles, and he loved to snark about the pin-ups. "My brother is a dweeb," "God, that's an old picture of us," "Justin Timberlake looks like a dumb ass with chin hair," were the most recent comments that kept Howie from concentrating on reading and kept him annoyed enough to fling a couch pillow in Nick's direction.

Nick promised to be quiet after that, but soon enough he had to open his mouth again, albeit for a good reason. "Holy shit!" he said. "When did Lance Bass get so hot!"

Howie raised and eyebrow in interest and said, "He's always been hot," but didn't take his eyes off his own magazine.

"No, just look at this," Nick said, then turned the magazine toward Howie.

Howie looked up and his mouth dropped slightly open. "Wow. That's a good picture of him." He leaned forward and reached for the magazine in order to get a better look.

He didn't realize he'd been looking that long until Nick said, "He's a bit mesmerizing isn't he? Although I didn't stare at him for a good five minutes."

Howie bit his bottom lip and tried not to look embarrassed.

"You gonna hang it on your bedroom wall now?" Nick asked.

"No, and shut up," Howie said. It wasn't exactly a secret that he had more than just a passing fancy for Lance, but Nick didn't have to tease him about it.

"I've got an even better one for you though," Nick said. He had been flipping through another teeny mag while Howie had been caught up in the nuances of Lance's ripped jeans. He showed it to Howie and nodded approvingly at a picture of himself, his tongue, askew, licked at his teeth.

"You want me to hang that one on my wall, too?" Howie said and grinned.

"Nah," Nick said and rolled up the magazine. "I was thinking maybe you'd want to look at an even hotter guy -- seeing as you've taken a liking to that picture of Lance."

"Really, Nick. If your ego needs stroking, there's no one in the bathroom right now, and I promise I won't listen in," Howie said, then tried not to smile as he shifted on the couch and resumed reading.

Nick exhaled a short laugh. He figured he had probably deserved that. He batted the rolled up magazine on his knee a few times and smiled to himself. He got up and sat next to Howie, making sure to press his thigh up against him. He draped his arm over the back of the couch, and when Howie purposely ignored his presence, he let his hand fall to Howie's shoulder.

"What are you doing?"

Nick leaned in close to Howie's ear. "What does it feel like I'm doing?" His other hand found its way to Howie's knee.

Howie turned his head towards Nick. He was close enough that Howie could smell the faint tang of Nick's skin, which made it just a little difficult to say, "Nick, don't do this."

"Don't do what?" Nick said, his eyes half closed, his mouth half grinning.

And that was when Howie was supposed to stand up, and push Nick away, or at least do something other than let Nick kiss him. Maybe he was just curious about Nick's intentions, because they didn't quite come from out of the blue. As Nick's tongue slipped between his lips and Nick's hand wandered up his thigh, he started remembering little things from the past few months -- like Nick being more than willing to massage his shoulders after a difficult show, or the way Nick occasionally found his way into Howie's bed -- little things that only when they were suddenly put in the context of a kiss, did they become one big thing -- hard, pressing, and urgent.

When Nick pulled away, he scooted back a little and waited. All Howie would have to do was slide his hand along Nick's neck or lean in for another kiss -- anything to let Nick know that he was interested. So that the soft slide of skin against skin could continue and so that the lost, almost lonely look that was now in Nick eyes would fade and become something remembered only when they were apart.

Howie didn't move, and stared down at his hands. He didn't breathe until after the retreating footsteps had stopped and after the bathroom door had slammed loudly, hollowly.

AJ snapped out of his sleepy stupor at the sound and took off his headphones. "What?" he asked, but Howie said nothing.

********

At the after party, Lance and Howie stayed close, and they were sure that several photos of them together would end up somewhere the next day, possibly with Chris standing behind them giving them both bunny ears, or possibly in a collective photo of both groups -- all looking fairly happy, some a little more happy, some a little less.

Nick, of course, didn't fail to notice that they were into each other, and it drove him to the bar, where he ordered a shot of whiskey, because that's the sort of thing a man would drink when he got upset, or in particular, jealous. He choked it down, and decided for the rest of the night that he'd just drink beer.

No matter where he was, he could always look across the room and find Howie and Lance. He kept seeing Howie touch Lance on the wrist or rest his hand on his shoulder. And Lance liked to lean into Howie when they talked, even though the music wasn't loud enough to warrant getting close to someone in order to hear them.

As the night went on and the media presence had been shooed from the VIP area, they got even closer.

Joey had also been watching Howie and Lance, occasionally glancing in their direction to make sure that Lance was having a good time. But he was unaware of Nick's foul mood, so he didn't expect that when he said, "They're cute together, aren't they," that Nick would turn and look at him like he had just been insulted.

"I don't know," Nick said and drained the last of his beer. He had lost track of how much he had drank by then. "Lance doesn't seem like his type, actually."

"They seem to be getting along fine enough though," Joey said and took a drink of his own beer.

"I wonder what they're talking about," Nick said as he saw them lean in close to each other again, lips nearly touching.

"Probably whose hotel room they should go back to," Joey said. He smiled widely at Nick, but stopped quickly when he saw the twitch that Nick had developed in his lips.

Nick felt his temperature rise, the sensation pricking the tips of his ears. He thought about punching Joey to start a fight. Instead, he did the next best thing. Nick pushed Joey up against the wall and kissed him hard. Joey was fairly drunk, too, and didn't quite know what to do, until Nick grabbed his ass, then he pushed Nick away.

"Nick, stop," Joey said, keeping an arm out in front of him. "You're drunk and you obviously don't know what you're doing."

"I know exactly what I'm doing," Nick said, and leaned in to kiss Joey again.

"No, you don't know," Joey said. "Because I don't want to do this."

"But, I--"

"Look, I'm flattered. But I'm not into you. I'm not really into guys," Joey said. He stepped away from the wall to leave, but Nick pushed him back and tried to kiss him again. "What the fuck--" Joey shoved back, hard. Nick lost his balance and almost fell over a chair.

"Hey, I'm just trying to show you how good it could be." He stepped towards Joey again and forced a smile, even though it was obvious that he would rather torture himself with another shot of whiskey than stand there and grin in Joey's face.

Joey poked at Nick's chest. "You. Are an asshole," he said. He gave Nick another shove and walked away, hoping he could get to his hotel room before the alcohol started to wear off. He heard Chris say, "Whoa, Nick Carter just hit on you," as he walked by, and he wanted to break something.

********

"I'm kind of drunk, how about you?" Howie said as he tried to pull the keycard out of his front pocket.

"Yep. Kind of drunk," Lance said. He ran his hands along the back of Howie's shoulders, pushed his hair aside, and kissed the back of his neck.

Howie turned around and Lance pushed him against the door. Their lips met halfway, and the kiss was moist and firm and slow.

"I've been wanting to do that all night," Lance said.

"So do it again," Howie said and put his arms around Lance's neck.

Lance's hands eventually found their way to Howie's front pocket to retrieve the key card. They spilled into the room, hoping the door had shut on its own, and fell back onto the bed.

"I don't know if we should to this just yet," Howie said. He whimpered into Lance's ear as his pants were being undone.

"Are you sure?"

"No. I don't know. It just that...we don't see each other very often, and--"

"All the more reason to do it now."

"Okay." Howie shucked off the rest of his clothes as he watched Lance do the same.

Lance pushed him down on the bed, and they kissed for awhile, savoring the feeling of having some one with them who would kiss them and be naked with them. Lance worked his way down Howie's body, taking the time to find out where he liked to be licked -- on his nipples -- and where he liked to be bitten -- on his hip.

Howie pulled Lance's head up and smiled. He then shifted so they were both on their sides, and both had access to each others cocks. "It's more fun this way," Howie said, and Lance was already going down on him by the time his lips hit Lance's penis. They both moved deliberately -- Lance swallowing Howie all the way to the base, Howie massaging the space just behind Lance's testicles while his tongue swirled around.

Lance lost his concentration after a few minutes and pulled his mouth off Howie's penis. "You can come back up here now," Lance said. He licked around the base of Howie's cock once more, and Howie turned back around and rested between Lance's legs, his erection sliding against Lance's thigh.

"Hold on, I'll go get a condom," Howie said and kissed Lance before going into the bathroom.

He came back and kneeled on the bed. "I don't have any lube, except for what's already on the condom."

"That's okay," Lance said. His hand was moving along his penis, but gently, and he reached down to rub his thumb over his testicles. "Just go slowly and it'll be fine."

Lance fingered his ass while Howie eagerly put the condom on. He leaned over Lance's body, licking at his neck and chest before entering him. Howie slid inside and Lance's grip on his hips tightened. The pulse of Lance trying to relax made him want to thrust in hard, but when Lance's fingers loosened, he moved in and out slowly. He kept his forehead pressed to Lance's chest, until he felt Lance placing kisses at the top of his head. He looked up, kissed the lips that said, "Harder," and sped up the pace, bucking against the smooth planes of Lance's ass.

Lance's hand was between them then, working in circles over the head of his penis, although not to vigorously as he wanted to last. And when his come dripped in small streaks down Howie's stomach, it was too late to stifle the cries that came out of nowhere, that made his throat rumble and his eyes water.

Howie arched his back and came sometime after that, still thrusting his hips even after it ended, because he didn't want to pull out. Lance had to still him -- grabbing hold of his hands, linking his fingers, and extending his arms out to his sides so Howie had to lay down on his chest. Lance let him say inside though, and he felt Lance purposely clench around his penis every so often.

When they were cleaned up, Howie wrapped his arms around Lance's middle and thought about how long it had been since he'd first wanted this, and now that it had happened, how he wanted it to happen over and over again. He'd have to wake up a little early so he could talk Lance into a quick fuck before he left. Lance's lips moved along his forehead, and he knew that he might not have to say a word.

"You get lonely much?" Lance said, tracing circles around Howie's dark nipples. "Like, especially on tour?"

"Yeah, a lot actually," Howie said.

"It'd be nice to have sex more often, especially with someone you already kind of know," Lance said, running his hand down Howie's arm.

"Mmm," Howie nodded. "Not that I don't like masturbating, but it does get old if that's all you do."

"I mean, Joey and I are really close -- he lets me snuggle up with him sometimes, and if he's drunk he might let me kiss him, but it's not the same. He's not interested in guys," Lance said.

"Hmm," Howie said and started biting his fingers, avoiding chewing on his nails.

"Hmm?" Lance said. "What are you thinking about?" He pulled Howie's index finger from his mouth.

"Nick."

"Nick? Are you close with Nick?"

"Yeah, I am," Howie said. He nuzzled into Lance's neck. "He wants to get closer though, and I don't. So I think he's mad at me."

"If he's still your friend, he won't be mad for long," Lance said.

"I know, but he's been really weird lately," Howie said.

"It'd be nice if we were in the same group," Lance said.

"Yeah," Howie said and giggled. "Maybe we can work out a trade or something."

"I can't imagine that would work," Lance said. "It would be good for us, but whoever got traded would be pissed."

"Chris might not mind though, he'd have fun annoying Nick." Howie laughed a little at that. "That is, until Nick socked him for it."

Lance sighed into Howie's hair and they discussed the possibility of JC and AJ getting into a bitch-slap fight. Soon, Howie could feel Lance's breathing slow, and he propped his head up on Lance's shoulder.

"You'll call me, won't you?" Howie asked.

"Yes, yes I will," Lance said and opened his eyes. "Are you on the Internet much?"

"A little."

"Then we can chat, too."

Howie grinned as the chorus of 'Digital Getdown' played in his head. "And when one of us has some time off, maybe we can visit the other?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

********

Nick thought maybe he'd feel better in the morning. And aside from the hangover he had, he did feel better. That is until he stepped out of his hotel room on his way down to the lobby to find an aspirin or advil. He saw Howie in his bathrobe at the end of the hall with Lance, and they were kissing -- a hand tangled in Howie's hair and hands slid into the waistband of Lance's pants -- while they waited for the elevator.

"Did you fuck him?" Nick asked, as Howie walked back to his room.

"Does it matter?" Howie said. He kept walking.

"To me, it does," Nick said.

Howie stopped but didn't turn around. "Then you don't want to know."

"Did you -fuck- him?" Nick said, but slower this time.

"No. I didn't," Howie said. He kept walking. Nick knew he was lying.

End.