Episode 3 Season 2
Written by Lady Starfire
Chrissy lit the match. After saturating the school with gasoline, she lit the match that was the teacher's doom. She was Sailor Starfire so couldn't be burned by the flames, and took advantage of this by running around everywhere yelling, "CRASH AND BURN!! MWAHAHAHAHAAAA!! GIVE ME HOMEWORK?! I DON'T THINK SO!!!!"
"Psst!" Katrina whispered to Ana in Spanish class. "Hey, look at Chrissy. She's fallen asleep in class before, but never with this weird grin on her face. What IS she dreaming' about?" Unfortunately, the teacher heard that and came over to wake up Chrissy. "Miss Jins, would you please answer the problem we've just been talking about?"
"Zzzzz...burn baby burn...mmffzzzzz...disco inferno..."
"CHRISSY JINS!"
"Who what when where why?!"
At lunch (while Chrissy was in detention trying to convince the principal that the chocolate had possessed her):
Janine was eating two slices of pepperoni pizza. "Gee, how weird. Ever since I've become a Sailor Scout, I've had such an appetite."
"Yeah," Ana explained, "You're attacks are made out of energy, which has to come from your body. You have to eat more to replace it."
"Speaking of Sailor Scouts, Ana," remembered Sandy, "You had better watch your back. This guy Ca-rackhead or whoever could attack any time."
Brianna agreed. "We can meet the guardians after school to talk about it. Until then, I've got two minutes to do my homework. See ya'!"
After school (Chrissy just got back from the principal's office... how much did she blurt out under THE LOOK this time?!):
"Ok, so let's go everything we know and don't know about this guy," Amarus said, "He wants our dragon power, Katrina's especially. He's in love with Ana, so if we make any plans, I'm afraid she'll have to be bait. That raps it up for what we do know. What we don't know: everything else. Planning time!"
Mary liked that, she enjoyed using strategies and stuff that required mental work and spoke her thoughts freely. "All right, the next time we see Carack, we pretend to do the usual 'we're going to kick evil butt' thing. Then Ana," she pointed as she went, "Will pretend to suddenly like Carack. He's so head over heels he'll believe it. While she goes on about how pretty his face is, how dreamy his hair is, and how gorgeous his baby blue eyes are," Brianna, Sandy, and Chrissy tried to hold back snickers, "We, except for Katrina, Ana, and Chrissy--"
"WHAT?! I don't get to attack?!" Mary ignored Chrissy and went on, "Attack him from all angles except for his back."
"I get it!" Katrina caught on. "He's got some really great defense and we can expect him to block all of our attacks fine."
Brianna and the others caught on. "But no matter how good he is, he won't be able to put up ANOTHER force field IMMEDIATELY after he just made that powerful one to block our attacks, especially when being attacked from behind!"
Icesis was trying to think of a way to get out of being the bait. "But, umm... I know! Carack uses a lot of fire in his attacks, so I'd be the best person to distract him with an attack, that's what Chrissy would be doing, giving Katrina time to blast him!"
"I'm afraid not," Sandy realized, "First of all, you're the only person who can give Chrissy time to run behind Carack. Just complement whatever feature you see first. And Chrissy is a good choice because her attack is good for long distance, and as the saying goes fight fire with fire."
Icesis, now completely hopeless of getting out of this gave up and sent a message to the guys to head on over. They were all there and transformed (Midnight Caper, being a wimp, and all) when (dun dun dun!) Carack showed up (does this guy have good timing or what?).
"Well well well, if it isn't the Sailor Stooges. Back off, brats, or else I'll--"
"Oh, Carack!" Icesis, close to gagging, said in a sweet-enough-to-give-you-a-cavity voice, "Carack honey, did I ever tell you how much I ADORE your sleek, golden blonde hair?" As Sailor Icesis fluttered her eyelashes, Carack resembled a chocolate chip in the microwave: melting more and more until it's a complete goo. The guys hid and watched in case they'd be needed as the Scouts, almost giving themselves away snickering, circled Carack.
"Heh heh heh, do you really like my hair?" Carack asked Sailor Icesis, and began getting obsessed with smoothing his hair.
"Oh, of course! How could I not? And that--"
"Static Cling!"
"Love Crystals Formation Spiral!"
"Hurricane Hail Blast!"
"Steel Furious Blade!"
Sailor Yui reached into her Bag and pulled out a blowtorch, with which she effectively blasted Carack along with all the other Sailors. "HUH?!" Carack said, putting up a VERY strong force field around himself. "You DARE to come between Lady Icesis and me?! NOW YOU SHALL--!!"
"HEY UGLY!! Star Dust P--ooh, is that a candy bar in his back pocket??!!!"
Chrissy suddenly stopped and ran at Carack (who was too stunned to do anything) and gave him a big hug. "You know, we really don't--" she grabbed the candy bar as she hugged, "have to fight any more. Really!" Unfortunately, Carack had a sweet tooth and wasn't exactly thrilled about losing his candy bar to an airheaded Good Guy.
"HEY! You can't do that!! It's mine!" And the tug-of-war was on. The Sailor Scouts and the Guys were all too surprised to do anything: too surprised, even, to notice the flash of light and puff of smoke that a new Sailor Scout arrived in.
"Look, you little goody-goody, stealing's against your stupid principals! Now GIVE IT BACK!!"
"Sure I'll give up this Three Musketeers Bar--WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER YOU WIMPY LOSER!!!!!!!!"
"What's wrong with being a wimp?" Tim whimpered helplessly.
Mary snapped out of it first. "Hey, this is DEFINITELY not the diversion we expected, but hey, we left it up to Starfire. Sailor Dragonspaw, attack!"
"I get to use my new attack! Queso Fantasmo!" Sailor Dragonspaw yelled as she charged at Carack, whacking him over the head with her Scepter. Carack screamed, and then he REALLY looked like a chocolate chip melting in the microwave, only his remaining goo disappeared in a puff of black smoke.
"Awright!" Sandrock cheered, and the other Sailor Scouts joined in as the Guys came out from hiding and rejoiced and de transformed with everyone else.
"MOMMY!!"cried the new Scout that no one had noticed arrived. She ran to Sailor Hurricane, yelling, "Oh Mommy, I-" the girl paused, looked at a photo she was carrying, then realized she had run to the wrong person. She changed directions and ran to Sailor Starfire (who was eating the Three Musketeers Bar she had worked so hard to earn) yelling more confidently, "Mommy! Mommy! It's me, your daughter from the future!" There was an eerie pause, ended as Chrissy screamed. "YOU LITTLE BRAT!!! HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY COLORS, MY SHOES, AND MY HAIR!!!!!! I was awake enough in Spanish class I learned to say at least one thing: YO VOY A TE MATAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"It IS you! Daddy said that you would start having a temper tantrum when you saw me!"
Tim gulped and said meekly, "Your daddy?"
"DADDY!!! Oh hi oh hi oh hi oh HIIIIIII DA--" she stopped, looked him over a few moments, then concluded, "You're not Daddy."
Just then (as if all of this chaos isn't enough!) Ana's communicator started beeping madly, and a small print out came out of the side of it.
"WHY DOES IT HAVE TO HAPPEN ALL AT ONCE????!!!!" Janine screamed, pulling on her hair. Katrina went over to Ana and read the narrow strip of paper that was still coming out. "In the process of determining the powers to be given to the heros/heroines and whom these heros/heroines are-"
"HUH?!" Sandy asked.
Katrina continued, "We, the script writers/editors have determined that a vital flaw was made on December 17th, 2000."
"That's when I met all of you freak--I mean, people," Tim corrected himself. Katrina went on reading the print out which was already piled up to her thighs. "the supervisors/A.K.A. Guardians unfortunately created the error of assigning job/position no. 94679 to the wrong/incorrect employee/hero. Therefore, we have sent word/message to the right/correct employee/hero to--"
"I'm sorry, but if there's one more slash/other use of a word I'm going to go sane!" Amarus said.
"Ditto," agreed Katrina, now up to armpits in paper print out, "come over to your location/coordinates to be assigned as the original/first employee/hero gets fired/kicked out." Just then Zach came over. "Hey, do any of you know who 'the writers/editors' are? They sent me a script and a note saying to come over here."
Brianna, now completely confused (she's not alone!), turned to question the guardians. "Wait, you mean that someone here isn't really a Sailor Scout or a Tux because they were accidentally picked???"
Shadow blushed. "Yeah, that's pretty much it."
Everyone but the guardians, Zach (who was more confused than anyone) and that new Sailor Scout that no one had even talked to (save Chrissy's threat to kill her in Spanish) turned to the guardians and said in disbelief, "YOU MEAN YOU GAVE SUPER POWERS TO THE WRONG GUY??????!!!!!!!"
All the guardians got sweat drops, and All said, "Yeah, pretty much."
Katrina yelled through the print out that was still printing and had completely covered her, "Hey! This says that Tim's not really the Midnight Caper, but really Zach is!" Everyone (except for that girl who was getting a little annoyed at being ignored) pulled out scripts and looked through them.
"They're right!" Janine exclaimed, "It says that Tim never was supposed to be here, and that Zach's the real Midnight Caper!"
Tim couldn't handle all of the stress of everything happening at once and suddenly yelled, "Good!! I'm going to go home and eat all the chicken in the house!! I'll never have to see you pro weirdos again!! Yes!!" and he ran off. After a brief pause, Zach said, "Cool, so I'm the new Tux or whatever you called it."
"AND I'M THE NEW SAILOR SCOUT!! HELLO???!!! HAVEN'T YOU GUYS NOTICED ME YET???!!!"
Mary shrieked, "EEK! It's a mini-me of Chrissy!! Run for it!!!!"
Brianna put on a cute face and said sweetly to the young girl, "Of course you're the new Scout! Now be a good little girl and tell us who you are, why you're wearing that costume of yours, and if you possess any abilities that have the potential to hurt us."
The girl, annoyed at being treated as a little kid, said, "I am Sailor Starshine! My parents are Sailor Starfire and the Midnight Caper, and they sent me from the future to now, because everyone was getting worried that SOMEONE," she glared at Chrissy, "would screw everything up by forgetting to save the world and fighting over a candy bar!!"
Chrissy (now licking the chocolate crumbs out of the wrapper) was put on defense immediately and said, "But I like candy bars."
"But it did all work out in the end," Katrina reminded Starshine, who shrugged and de transformed. "Oh, when I'm not Sailor Starshine, my name is Maria."
Ana suddenly brought up a good point. "Umm, Maria, where exactly are you going to spend your little visit? Are you going to check into a Motel 6 for a few nights, or spend a lot of time with one of us?"
"Oh, Mom said it'd be OK if i spent my visit with her, Chrissy now. I don't really know for how long."
Suddenly, a small puff of smoke appeared in front of Maria, and a little fluffy bunny popped out into the air. Mary shrieked again, this time grabbing a near by stick, "AAAA!!! It's a scary looking fluff ball!!!" Maria gasped. "Ariella! You made it! This is Ariella, my guardian bunny!" Everyone said hi to Ariella, who said hi back.
Everyone then walked to Chrissy's to watch MTV2 and get some snacks. :) Reepicheep and Snowy bravely took a nibble of a muffin with unidentified chips in it. Snowy almost coughed up a hair ball, and Reepicheep gagged and coughed. When at last Reepi was able to breath, she said in between gasps of air, "Well... It was better than last time. What are those chunks in it?" Snowy resisted throwing up to say, "Maybe we don't want to know." Maria tried a bite (a whole bite?! not a good idea), gagged, and said, "OK. That's it. From now on, I'm cooking."
And after that, everyone spent the rest of the evening daring each other to eat Chrissy's weird and unusually brown muffins, watching MTV2, and telling Chrissy's brothers they really had two sisters. Alan and Matt ate a lot of chicken that night.
THE END.
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