One Day, Then another...
Muhahahahahahahahahahahaha! It’s my turn to write an outlawed fanfic. Be prepared to get your sweat drop. You had better had read the others first to so you don’t stain the sweat drop muscle.
Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I’m a teeny bit ready for this aren’t I? And if I might have heard you ask something, no I am not on anything. Not even sugar. What a shock!! Well, maybe adrenaline… On with the story.
Warning: If you love the Care Bears © you may not want to read a part of this, also be aware that other loveable children’s TV characters may also get… well nevermind. Just be aware if you fanactically love any of these or are a small child, it is advised that you cease and desist reading this.
Katrina carried a bag with some slightly suspicious items as she walked over to Chrissy’s place. Just as a side note one of these slightly suspicious items was a toaster. Back to story. Katrina walks into the living room and what does she see but a weird lump of something. She thinks, whatever on earth can that be? A melted candle of Chrissy’s? She then heard Maria shout, “Get down,” as Maria grabbed Katrina and dragged her behind the couch. BOOM!! Katrina looked over at Maria and asked, “What was all that about?”
Maria laughed a little nervously and then said, “Well… I was testing my new plastic explosives that-“
Katrina interrupted and said, “Does Chrissy know about this?”
Maria continued, “… that Chrissy got for me.”
Katrina said, “Oh. Um.. Well, does Mary know about this?”
Maria said, “We got the explosives from her. She has some kind of black market connections. She just said to learn how to properly use it.”
Katrina said, “Oooh. Really? Hmm… That can really come in handy. Hey, where is Chrissy?”
Maria said, “Oh. I think she’s out back with some kind of bonfire.”
Katrina almost shouted, “She started with out me?! How dare she!” With that said Katrina ran out back and laughed crazily (in chorus with Chrissy) as they watched various things burn.
Another day after school…
Katrina stood outside talking with Janine. Katrina said, “So Janine, we’re all going to get some challa bread at Chrissy’s house. You know how we love that stuff (yes, this is true. It is actually a motive for me going over to her house. Oh, I’m writing this on a Friday, she might have some…) .
Janine said, “Well… I can’t I’m taking Jack to a show with me.”
Katrina was confused and asked, “Jack? I thought you were stalk- I mean I thought you like Kyle.”
Janine said, “Oh, it’s not like that between us.” Janine pulled out a VERY large gun from under her shirt, presumably strapped to her back previously, and then added, “This is Jack. He’s my third gun in my collection.”
Katrina said, “Oh.”
Janine pulled out a handgun and then said, “This is Sam. He was the first gun I ever had. My dad gave it to me. I still get a tear in my eye over all the memories.”
Katrina said, “I know exactly what you mean.” Katrina then took out a large boot knife (now we see why she wears boots all the time) and said, “This is Shawn. He’s my first knife. He has a special spot in my heart. Of course I dearly love the rest of my collection.”
Chrissy walked in and saw the drawn guns and big knife and said, “So, what’s up everyone? Anyone want to loan me some money?”
Katrina and Janine said, “No.”
Chrissy then sat down on the floor and said, “So. What are you guys doing?”
Katrina explained, “We’re showing each other the first of each of our collections.”
Chrissy sniffed and said, “I remember I got my first flame thrower.” She then goes on to pull out a flame-thrower from her black with flame up the leg pants.
Katrina said, “Hey. Just for fun let’s see how our collections compare. I have all my little baby-waby knives on me. I don’t trust anyone else with them.” The other girls nodded to both statements and the weapons began to pile up. Or rather row up. They had enough weapons between the three of them to put The Matrix© to shame.
Katrina said, “Hey that’s two metal flasks. Is there alcohol in that Chrissy?!”
Chrissy said, “Oh no. One’s kerosene the other rubbing alcohol, they burn so well I thought I’d better keep back ups.”
Janine said, as she and the others stared at the very large pile of weapons, “You know most people wouldn’t think that it’d be physically possible to carry all those weapons at the same time.”
Katrina said, “Must be because we’re sailor senshi. That whole magic thing.”
Janine thought of another point. She said, “Hey. We three carry these weapons all the time right?” (In order to reassure, we don’t do this IRL)
Chrissy said, “Yeah. So?”
Janine said, “Well. Isn’t it illegal? And aren’t we not supposed to not have them in school?”
Chrissy said, “Oh that. As long as they don’t know it won’t hurt them.”
Katrina said, “And besides, who’d suspect such sweet little girls? Heh, heh… Oh, don’t forget we’re responsible with our weapons. We wouldn’t want them to get hurt. ”
Chrissy said, “Hey don’t forget they let us carry around swords.”
Katrina said, “Oh yeah. Well hah! See I have the biggest collection now. My sword breaks the tie.”
Janine said, “We all have a sword. So that doesn’t count.”
Katrina said, “Yes it does! I have knives. It should only count with me! You’re wrong!”
Janine said, “No you’re wrong!”
Chrissy suddenly felt a sense of wrongness in the world. Someone was taking her place! Nooooooo!!!!
Maria walked in on a giant aerial fight an hour or so later. Chrissy, Katrina, and Janine were jumping off the walls attacking each other with swords. They hadn’t touched the ground in the couple of minutes Maria watched them. Maria said, “What are you guys doing?”
Katrina took the time and said, “Uh… Homework.”
Janine and Chrissy asked at the same time, “Why did we start doing this”
Maria watched for a few seconds longer and then joined in. What a fun and typical day! Now. You must be asking, “What is going on with the guys in our girls’ lives?” (Just pretend you were, okay?) Well let’s see….
Christian looked over at Steve and said, “So why did you call us all over here? I thought you and Zach were going to play video games all day.”
Steve said, “Well that was the plan. But… Well. Come upstairs. I asked Zach to go hide, I told him we’re playing hide and seek to buy time. He’s been hiding for twenty minutes so far. (Zach sounds perfect for Chrissy… so far) You’d better see what I found.”
All the guys walked upstairs into Zach’s room. Naturally it was messy but Steve led them past all that to the closet. Inside it was… the… can I even type it? The shrine to Chrissy!!! The horror! It even had a little Chrissy ‘doll’ with real hair for the pigtails. (So, that’s what he did with her hair after it got cut off).
Raoul was the first to recover. He asked, “So, Steve. How did you get in here? I noticed a pad lock and double dead bolt on this closet door.”
Steve said, “Oh… Heh… Well… Just a little friendly curiosity. Oh, and Alex. You remember how you said you left your wallet somewhere? It’s in the safe behind that one picture in your room. I really like the combination you chose, so many people just use their birthdays.”
Alex exclaimed, “What?! My wallet?”
Steve said, “Hey I just find things. I never move or touch them.”
Kyle said, “Okay. Let’s test this curiosity. What’s in my locked closet in the locked drawer in the locked box under the false bottom.”
Steve said, “Well… Let’s say I found some ‘missing’ items of mine in the drawer. We’ll talk about those later. Well, in the box was someone’s pillow case, I can only assume some girl’s from the colors and about twenty pictures of yourself. One which is framed! And there’s one small drawing of some girl with brown hair. In crayon.”
Kyle smiled nervously as everyone stared at him. Zach had come out of hiding a little while before Steve mentioned the wallet thing so he had heard the conversation. And, let’s just say, even Zach was staring at Kyle with shock.
Kyle said, “Well I can explain. Those pictures were taken by the girl I like…Uh, let’s call her Jane. That’s why I had them. And the framed one…. Well I just looked so good in that photo it just needed one. Well about the girl. That’s a picture of… uh… Jane and well c’mon. Crayons are very fun to use.”
After looking at each other for a couple of seconds they shrugged and a couple of them began playing video games while the rest watched. Incidentally the pair that were playing were Zach and Kyle. Somehow these two were so perfect for Chrissy and Janine that they had picked up the competitive thing. So they were busy trying to kill each other in the game. Christian started cheering and jumping up and down. He began shouting (in a higher voice than usual), “Go Zach, he’s our man. If he can’t beat Kyle no one can! Go Zach! Go! Go! Go!” Christian went on to another cheer.
As with all the other times the guys stared. What was going on today? Was it just Zach’s house? Or was it that they had gone to the twilight zone (or unbeknownst to them but knownst to us they’re in an outlawed episode)? As before they simply accepted it. (Come on what else can they do? They all have equally weird or weirder quirks thanks the creative powers that be. Oh, woe there will be when years later we look back on these… Back to the story.) Kyle said, “Hey! Christian you’re my friend too. How come he gets a cheer and I don’t?”
Christian said, “Well I’m pretty sure you just stole just my shoes. I was wearing them a minute ago and then they were gone. Plus the pants you have on have very big pockets.”
Kyle said, while keeping his eyes on the screen, “If your shoes happen to suddenly reappear will I get a cheer too?”
Christian when back to jumping up and down and almost squealing his cheers, this time for Kyle after he got his shoes back.
Steve said, “Well it’s weird that everyone but Raoul and Alex has weird quirks. Maybe we just haven’t discovered them yet. We’ll just have to make sure the girls don’t find out about us. I mean seeing as they are pretty normal and all.”
Raoul said, “I wouldn’t count on that.”
Alex asked, “What do you mean?”
Raoul said, “So far Sandi is still normal.”
Steve said, “What about Katrina and the rest?”
Raoul was very causal and stretched his arms before speaking. Then he said, “Well. You will find out.”
Steve decided that questioning Raoul would be useless.
A third completely different day…
Everyone was over at Amarus’ house. Mainly because anywhere else it would be too crowded to have all of them in one place. Amarus grumbled about everyone taking over her house all the time until Maria started making yummy food on the never used before stove. Amarus had just been using the microwave. All she had been able to make were frozen TV dinners. The groups had brought over their own entertainment seeing as an empty house wasn’t bunches of fun. They guys were all playing a card game. The girls weren’t so social. Katrina was sitting cleaning her knives beside, Janine who was cleaning her guns, and Chrissy was cleaning her flame-throwers. Mary was working on some small mechanical thing that Janine wanted. Apparently nothing like that existed, so Mary was making one and was going to get the patent on it when she was done. That’d be in an hour or two. Bri was talking to Sandi about how great this voice actor was and about how shocking it was that the same voice actor played these totally different characters. Sandi was listening as much as she could. Seeing as she had heard this all before (remember the trip to Florida?) it wasn’t too great. But it was the best Sandi had to do. Except borrow one of Ana’s manga which didn’t seem possible. Ana was sitting talking to her large pile of manga she had brought with her. She’d actually get a hold of some of Amarus’ Angel Sanctuary manga. Each time she did Amarus would run over and grab it out of her hands. Finally Amarus moved the entire stack into the kitchen where she could guard it. From the kitchen she could hear Ana talking to her manga, “Oh Mamoru, Syaoran, and Tsuzuki you know I love you all so very much. You’re my little hunky wunkys and so handsome and cute! Aww yes I’ll make sure to do that my little sweetie pies. Christian? Oh, yes you are all so thoughtful asking me if I have room in my heart for him with all of you my little darling lumpkins. Well I think I might just have a teeny tiny part left for him. Yes, you are all my widdle baby hunkamyieters…”
Amarus ran over she couldn’t stand any more of this. Christian didn’t look like he could either, but he didn’t know what to do about it. Amarus shouted, “Okay. If you say one more hunk, sweetie, or anything to those comics of yours I’ll destroy them.”
Ana barely even heard her and continued crooning to her beloved manga characters. Amarus shouted, “That’s it.” Then she proceeded to rip apart every single manga volume Ana had with her. Christian got up and started cheering very loudly.
Ana sat in shock for a moment. Then she jumped up and shouted, “You- You- You- fiend! You murdered them! I’ll make you pay!” With that said Ana pulled out her sword and Amarus and Ana began fight. Christian sat down and began play cards again. No one in the room paid the pair any more attention even though they appeared to be fighting to the death. After several hours of this fighting they decided to call it quits. After all, Ana did have more manga at home. However Ana promised that this would not be last of this. This was yet another beautiful day in the neighborhood…
Meanwhile the guardians are in the home of the Care Bears ©. Yes, that fluffy place in the sky. Now you might think, oh they’re there because they are all so sweet and nice. No. They are the Care Bears © slum landlords. (Ever see running water? Heating? Money? See a lot of little rodent things though. And if you did see that, it was before they took over as their landlords.) Oh, and this is where they are when their senshi don’t need them. Now what do they talk about while they are there? Let’s see…
Cronus said, "Guys? Am I the only one creeped out? Everything is way too… cute here."
Reepy said, "Don't worry about it. It's our cover. With all of us being so 'sweet and nice' it won't be strange for us to be in these 'sweet and nice' surroundings. They'll never suspect a thing. Yo, green tele-thing. You’re moving! I told you that I wanted to be in shade!"
The green Teletubbie © said, “Yes oh wonderful master. One is grateful to serve such a master as you.” Cronus was getting more agitated, and said, “How did they learn to talk like that?! Are they trying to take over the world?!”
Snowy said, “You know, I don’t like how we’re all so alike. We had type casting.”
Suddenly a little cloud appeared and a little black bunny popped into view. She used her front paws to put her ears straight and then said, “Sorry I’m late everyone! No one told me where the meeting was.”
Zalla said, “I agree with Snowy. We each may have a few differences, but it seems that at the core we all act the same. We all want to take over the world.”
Cronus said, “Ahhhhh!! Why aren’t any of you paying attention to me?! It’s the ducks and typos! They’ve finally taken over like Steel Kitty told me they would!!!”
Shadow said, “I know. Playing second fiddle to senshi is so boring. We always do the same things. It’s time we ran the show. I have a temper, but so does Reepy. Zalla speaks proper English. There are only a few things that make us separate. Our senshi limit us. So I was thinking that we could can them and ship them out as gourmet cat food and then… Argh! Reepy! Your green tele thing is in my sun!”
Eorpe said, “I don’t know about the rest of you, but that doesn’t seem to be the biggest problem. It’s how easy it was to force the Teletubbies© and Barney© work for us. I mean, they shouldn’t have been so willing tools for evi- I mean for taking over the world. I for one feel that’s strange. Oh, and I demand big posters of myself everywhere. No one even remembers I exist!”
Cronus was getting a teensy bit hysterical now and started shouting, “No one remembers you exsist?! What about me?”
Ariella, the little black bunny, said, “Isn’t that the truth! No one ever notices us newer animals.”
Bruce said, “Here, here to that. Just because I’m small doesn’t mean I’m not important. Maybe I could get a show myself, like Barney© I mean he’s a big purple dinosaur. That’s not even that cute. I’m cute. I mean we were using Barney’s© head as a war table but it was too lumpy. He’s not even good for a table.”
Reepy said, “Well. I think it’s because there are so many of us that we get left out. With so many gerbils, cats, horses, and hamsters in the world everyone underestimates our value.”
Shifty said, “Well look at it my way. If the rest of you feel ignored, think what I feel. Horses are either fun or work. And let met tell you lazy critters, work is hard! I’m the only one of you to ever know what that’s like. So I think there should be lots of posters of me around. And no riders, it’ll confuse the people.”
Ariella, the little black bunny said, “Hello? Can anyone hear me?”
Cronus said, “I can hear you little bunny, you sure look tasty. Heh, heh.”
Ariella looked quite frightened and then decided to flee! One little cloud and she was gone.
Emily went, “Meow!”
Everyone looked at Emily. Shadow asked, “How did she get here anyway?”
Snowy said, “Well I think maybe it has to do with the fact her senshi pulled some strings in the beginning. Well, she can’t rat out our plan to rule the world. She can’t even talk!” Emily started glaring at Snowy.
Reepy said, “Okay. Well let’s just ignore her. She can come along if she shows up on time. The main thing is taking over the world in these early stages we have a lot of free time. The name of the game is with all this free time is…. Vacation! It’s the best idea. Go on vacations! Bruce pull out the brochures.” Bruce pulled out some brochures that were three times his size from a tiny bag on his paw (something he’d gotten from Bri no doubt).
Cronus was hopeless and said; “I don’t suppose I’d get invited.”
Shifty said, “Sure you can come, as long as you stop yelling and help.”
Cronus was shocked and said, “You guys could hear me?”
Shadow said, “Of course! You were so loud I was thinking I’d have to pull some hair off that Lion Care Bear © over there to plug my ears.”
Cronus said, “Oh. Well, if the creepy cute things come with us I’m not going! I’ll go hide in the piano!” Reepy said, “Don’t worry about it. They won’t come.”
Emily made a sound that sounded suspiciously like “what piano?”
Eorpe was a little nervous; he wasn’t really a part of the group. So he asked, “May I come? If I can I’ll even be someone’s assistant when we take over.”
Zalla said, “We would be happy to have you along. Pink Care Bear©! Bring us some drinks!”
Shadow shouted after the pink bear, “Yeah, and remember to make them cold, but no ice for me. Oh and I want a little umbrella too!”
So they all ‘worked’ long into the night planning their vacations.
Into the night elsewhere, there was a sleep-over at Chrissy’s house. Katrina, Mary, and Janine were the only ones able to come over so they all set up their bags and got ready to have lots of fun. Lighting fires, sword fights, and that sort of thing. Janine said, “Okay, Chrissy what fun filled thing are going to do? Watch anime? Eat Puff Corn © (sorry I’m becoming a regular advertiser), or what?”
Katrina jumped up and shouted, “Yeah! Anime! So it’s a good idea I lugged along all 49 episodes of Inu Yasha with me! I bet you guys will love it! I can’t wait till I get episode 50. 49 is a cliff hanger you know… And he’s got such cute ears!! Ooh ears and he’s so funny. SIT! His ears are so cool they’re like this.” Katrina puts her hands on top of her head like a dog and starts running around the room repeating everything written above. Katrina suddenly stops and notices that everyone has left the room and she’s alone. It seems she’s been doing this for about ten minutes straight. Katrina sighs and says softly, “But wait… I even brought some chocolate chip cookies I made to eat while we watched.”
Boing! Suddenly there in front of Katrina is Chrissy and Janine who say in sync, “Chocolate cookies? Ooh! You’re just good enough of a cook that they won’t kill us!!” Then the two start rustling though Katrina’s stuff.
Katrina stopped them when she pulled a knife out of nowhere and said, “Ahem. Wait until I cut them apart.”
Maria came over, she was now done with her homework, and asked, “Why would you need to do that?”
Katrina laughed nervously and answered, “Well… I put too much dough in some places… Anyway. Let’s eat and watch Inu Yasha!”
Janine and Chrissy where only staring at the food and didn’t hear Katrina, but Mary did and asked, “Why is that we always end up doing what you want to do?”
Katrina looked at her a moment with little fires in her eyes and answered calmly, “Okay. Let’s do something else. What do you want to do?”
Janine and Chrissy finally paid some attention and said, “TV!”
So the group sat and watched TV. Watching various channels and shows until about 11:50pm. Then Chrissy jumped up and shouted, “Okay! Everyone to bed! I’m so tired! I bet you are too! Yes! Let’s all go to sleep! Now!” Chrissy continued to bodily push Mary, Janine, and Katrina into the guest room where all their stuff was and locked them in after the parting words of “Go ahead to sleep I need to brush my teeth and that’ll take a long time!!”
Now anyone who has even heard of our girls understands that these three will not let themselves be waylaid while something interesting is going on. After Katrina struggled with the lock for about five minutes trying to remember what Steve had taught her, Janine opened the window and they climbed out. The room was on the first floor so this was no great feat. They re-entered the house using the unlocked front door. (It isn’t safe anymore to keep your front door unlocked at midnight…) They crept quietly down the front hall when Katrina and Janine lifted their noses into the air and said in sync, “Muffins.”
They all exchanged looks as they crept into the kitchen which was adjoining to the living room and what horrors accosted their eyes! There sat Chrissy watching Zorro © while Maria was baking muffins. Chrissy, still unaware of them said, “Maria. This sure is the way to go! Muffins and Zorro© at midnight! I’m sure glad I don’t have to share any of the food with the rest of them. Poor girls, they didn’t suspect a thing!”
Everyone raised an eye brow at that last comment, including Maria who had noticed the three standing in the hallway. Janine shouted, as though a war cry, “Food without me?!”
Chrissy jumped up in the air and stuttered, “Uh Well, Uh, you, see, you see, uh.. Maria?”
Maria sighed and answered, “Well what my poor mother was trying to say is that this is something we do all the time. She was hoping you’d never find out. Of course, I know you do because you join us later because I remember all the gang eating muffins and watching Zorro© tapes at midnight in the future.”
So the rest sat eating muffins as they watched Zorro when all a sudden Katrina’s communicator started beeping, (is hers the only one that works or is Shadow the only one who contacts people?). Katrina answered is and Shadow appeared who began shouting, “Katrina! You need to come to the park quick we ran into a monster on patrol! So you need to get- wait. What are you doing awake? It’s 2 in the morning! Is that Chrissy behind you? Oh, that’s why. So, get your tails down here pronto!” With that Shadow disappeared.
The girls quickly transformed and ran to the park. There awaited them the most fearsome of all monsters yet…. A giant pink… bunny? What was that doing here? It looked as though it was made out of marshmallow, and… had a cute peaceful face as it munched grass. The girls looked around, this was where they were supposed to be. The other girls where there, they were all leaning on each other nearly falling asleep. Amarus was sitting Indian style with her head in her hands clearly sleeping. Suddenly Firon appeared. She smiled and said, “Hello. I’ve got the perfect monster here for you. It will suck in all of your attacks and that will exaggerate the tiredness you are feeling now!! That was the genius of me luring you in the middle of the night so you would be tired and weak!”
Sandrock leaned over to Yui and said, “Good plan.”
Starfire laughed, “How could that work! I’m so alert right now!”
Firon said, “Anyway, this giant pink bunny will suck out your energy!”
Suddenly Dragonspaw and Starfire noticed that the pink bunny was there and was actually quite cute. They both shouted, “How cute,” as they ran towards the bunny. The bunny was at loss as to what to do, and Firon was surprised too. They leapt upon the rabbit and the rabbit began walking around. The longer the girls held on the faster the rabbit moved. It began flying around in circles as everyone watched in amazement. Dragonspaw and Starfire kept holding on despite all this. The rabbit began to move so fast it fell and just kept twitching. Then it exploded. Pink goo was all over everything. It completely covered Dragonspaw and Starfire. They looked like two Hostess Snowballs©. Firon started in surprise. They had so much energy that they shorted the rabbit out! Firon shouted, “I’ll get you yet!” Then Firon disappeared in a cloud and the senshi walked over to check on the fallen Dragonspaw and Starfire. After being nudged with a foot each jumped up and squealed about how fun that was. (Isn’t that scary?)
A new school psychologist came to Dementerville High School. A short, fairly thickset balding man who resembled his name. His name was Dr. Fish and the reason that he had decided to come to work at Dementerville High is because his last school was too predictable. (I wonder how he knew this would be more interesting… te he he) Dr. Fish arranged his office one last time. Everything must be perfect. He remembered what the principal had told him. The best and brightest in the school would come and talk to him, in order for him to get to know the student body a little. The girls would come this morning and the boys the afternoon. Dr. Fish then heard some soft talking outside his office. Those must be students that the principal had spoken of. They could wait, for Dr. Fish believed that all smart children were naturally well behaved and obedient. He believed that he would introduce himself one on one and they would speak of some of the pressures of succeeding in school.
Straightening his tie and smoothing his few hairs he opened the door. There were nine girls outside his office. Eight of them sat on the floor gathered around something in between them all. He stepped forward to look. They all had the dolls from his box of things from his old waiting room ’walking’ towards some… thing they had made out of Lincoln Logs ©. He couldn’t venture a guess on his own so he asked, “What is this you’ve got here girls?”
All the girls looked up. One of the red haired girls, with the loose long hair, said, “Well, Katrina there,” She pointed to a girl with black hair to her shoulders, “was disturbed by the dolls so we came up with a way to make her feel better. We’re re-enacting the French revolution.”
Dr. Fish was at a loss for what to say. He’d never imagined something so weird. But as he sat in shock the girls continued on. One with long flowing black hair thinking up the dialogue, which was in Shakespeare‘s style. Another girl with long flowing brown hair was moving the Lincoln Log © structure back a centimeter complaining about historical accuracy. The girl with black hair to her shoulders was arguing with a girl with brown pigtails who could play the executioner. And the other girls were playing the blood thirsty crowd now. Dr. Fish sat blinking a moment longer at the high-school girls and then looked over at the one girl not playing with the rest. She was sitting reading a magazine. Dr. Fish decided she would be the best to start with. She seemed normal. She had short black hair and told him her name was Amarus. She seemed normal enough. Dr. Fish asked her to step into his office with him. Amarus looked around. It was pretty standard as far as school offices go, except for one thing. He had a black leather reclining chair, which he motioned her to sit in. Amarus sat down a little nervously. Dr. Fish took out his note book and jotted down her name and such information so he could file it correctly in case he need to refer back to this meeting. Dr. Fish began after a few minutes of silence. He said, “Now don’t feel shy. You can tell me about anything you want to. I’m just here to get to know everyone. Any problems, or whatever.”
Amarus looked down, took a deep breath, and then looked Dr. Fish straight in the eyes. She then said, “Well, I felt that I could trust you right away. So I’m going to tell you something important. So long as you don’t tell anyone else. Okay?”
Dr. Fish was surprised she immediately noticed how trustworthy he was. He made a note of that, she was obviously very intelligent. He said, “Go on. I won’t tell anyone.”
Amarus took a deep breath, gripped her knees tightly, bit her lip and then said, “Sometimes… Well… Sometimes… This is really hard… Okay! I’ll just say it! Sometimes… I eat… pop tarts!”
Then she fell to the floor in a faint. Dr. Fish just sat staring at her. Either the girl was anorexic in some form or she was pulling his leg. That must be it! All those girls playing with the dolls! Then this! They must just be testing his mettle. He opened the door to let her know the gig was up. But she didn’t get up. One of the other girls came in, this one with red hair in a pony tail. She looked at Amarus and said, “Wow. I’m surprised you lasted this long with her. I’ll pick her up. Mary is up next.”
After the girl was removed from his floor the girl called Mary, the one with the long flowing brown hair came in and sat down. She sat demurely and waited for him to speak. Dr. Fish said, “Well, I sure hope you are better adjusted than your friend. She tried to shock me by saying she eats pop tarts.”
Mary’s eyes widened, “Amarus eats pop tarts? I do not believe it. Especially after they were so nice to all of us. Did you notice your picture is hanging to the left by, oh I would say 5 degrees?”
Mary then got up and fixed it. She then moved on to his desk and started straightening his piles of paper. Then she picked up a binder on his desk and opened it. Dr. Fish began, “Oh, I see you have my thesis there…”
Mary then proceeded to pull out a big red pen and began marking pages. Dr. Fish began to get upset, “Wait a moment! You can’t draw in that! That’s my thesis! I won high honors for it!”
Mary kept marking as she said, “Well, I suppose they will accept anything these days. Look at how these verbs don’t match up, here, or here, or even here. My, my, you need to go back to grade school grammar.”
Dr. Fish got very angry at this point and after jotting down ‘obsessive compulsive’ he said, “Now. See here. I want you to go! I mean… I want you to go and get the next girl….” Dr. Fish smiled nervously, he didn’t want to be known as easy to loose his cool. As Mary walked out, with his thesis still in hand still correcting, he snagged it out of her arms. He glanced at it. Sure enough, each correction she made he could find no fault in. He slammed down his thesis and turned to see the newest girl. She was the one who had first spoken to him. She had the long flowing red hair. She told him her name was Sandi. Suddenly as she sat down her whole posture changed. If he wasn’t mistaken, which he must surely be, her eyes were glowing red. She began speaking in an almost male voice, “I’ll get that boy who scarred my beautiful face and killed my men!” She was rubbing a finger along her jaw line on one cheek as she said this, she was pushing hard enough a red line was coming up. (Note to readers: She’s not just anyone, she’s the young villain from Escaflowne) After jotting down, ‘if not play acting possible multiple personalities. Schedule more meetings.’ He said, “So what is your name?”
The girl blinked. Her eyes were definitely green as she said, “Sandi. You just asked me that.”
Dr. Fish smiled and said, “Oh? Did I? How about you send in the next girl?”
Sandi left and in came the next girl. She was red headed as well and bore a striking resemblance to Sandi. She had red hair tied back in a pony tail and had green eyes as well. Dr. Fish asked if they were sisters. She looked at him and said, “Of course not. Oh, you can call me Bri.”
Suddenly her eyes began to shine and Bri stage whispered, “Jenny Says!!” (Note to readers: this only makes sense if you are familiar with Cowboy Bebop) Then she began to do air drums. Then she said, “Are you with me? Are you with me?!” She continued to play the air drums. Dr. Fish tried for nearly ten minutes to get her attention, but she just kept playing. He jotted down, ‘delusion? Hallucination? Play acting? More meetings needed to find out’. Finally after getting her attention he sent her to get the next girl.
The next girl had brown hair and didn’t look particularly strange. She seemed more normal than the rest. She walked in and said, “Hi. My name is Carmen Adella Rose. But you and everyone else can call me Cam. I moved here from out of state where I had to leave my boyfriend Jason, Lance- er Jason is really great. So I miss him. I also miss Toto- er I mean Izzy my little dog. Ooh! Plants! Let me go talk to them!” Cam ran over to the two pitiful plants at the window and began cooing at them.
Dr. Fish sat slack jawed, he’d been sure he’d be safe this time. Oh, well. He jotted down, “has manic tendencies, swift talking, changes subject, possibly ADHD’. He said, “Well, Cam it’s time for you to get the next girl. Cam? Cam? Can you hear me? Oh well, I’ll just get another one of the girls myself.”
He walked over to the door and opened it, in walked the girl with the black hair to her shoulders. Katrina was it? She took one look at Cam and whistled like one would for a dog and said, “Hey, do I see someone with a laptop?”
Cam leapt up and ran out of the room. She then began to ask people who had the laptop and what model was it. Katrina walked over and sat down. She waited for him to find his paper for her. While she waited she played with one of those big paper clips, that have the black metal part. She was clipping the air mumbling something like, “once upon a time Clippy…” (yes, for those of you who know me. Clippy had to be mentioned) Dr. Fish cleared his throat to get her attention when he finally found her paper. Then she looked at him with an expression of expectation. She was obviously waiting for him to speak. Dr. Fish thought quickly. Just having the girls talk about anything wasn’t working. So he decided to try something new. Dr. Fish said, “Now. I would like to get to know you a little. Could you tell me some childhood memory of yours? It doesn’t matter, just anything you want.”
Katrina bit her lip as she thought for a moment then she said, “Okay. I have a memory for you. So I was in third grade, great number three. And I was walking home because I had missed the bus. I remember I’d missed it because I was beating up two fifth graders. So as I was walking home I noticed that a few men were robbing a house, they were incredibly inept too. So I walked across the freeway to go talk to them. I walked up and after introducing myself I said, ‘You sure aren’t very good robbers, look at all the suspicion you’re drawing to yourself! I could get you good training, good jobs, maybe even black market connections. So what do you say?’ They didn’t seem to appreciate the offer of a job and one of them said that he’d make sure I’d be quiet permanently. Now since I like to talk I didn’t want that so I brought out FiFi. I told them that I had a really nice voice, and after I explained all about FiFi and the nice man who gave her to me after we had a talk in the woods about how it’s not nice to surprise little girls. Well, they said that of course I was right and that they’d be back right after they checked to see if their parking was up. I don’t think they liked FiFi very much… Who couldn’t like a two foot long machete? So-”
Dr. Fish was very surprised and interrupted Katrina as he said, “Wait I wante-” Katrina threw him a killing look, as she said sharply, “I’m not done yet,” and so he stopped, barely resisting the urge to cower and she continued, “So, I was reminded that the nice man in the woods had left like that. Some people are just very busy I guess. So then a boy walked out of the house. He was about my age with blonde hair and he said, ‘Hi. Don’t worry I’m not stealing anything. I never do that. I just look. They have some very interesting stuff in there. Oh, cool machete. Well, bye.’ Then he left. He seemed like such a nice person. Well, that’s my childhood memory. One of my favorite ones, too!”
Dr. Fish started slowly this time, “Well.. That was a nice memory… But I was hoping for a real one.”
Katrina’s eyes grew flat as she asked dangerously, “What do you mean by that? Are you insinuating that I’m lying or making this up?! This is all true! Hmph!”
Dr. Fish smiled nervously as he jotted down ‘delusional, perhaps chronic liar’, then he reassured, “Of course I believe you. It’s just such a fantastic memory. Very few people have childhoods like that.”
Katrina replied, “Really? Everyone I know had a childhood like that.”
Dr. Fish smiled and nodded as he said, “Of course they have. Now, how about you get the next girl?”
Katrina smiled sweetly and opened the door, in came the girl with the brown pigtails. She asked, “Hey Katrina, how’d it go?”
Katrina said, “It went fine, except he didn’t believe about what happened in third grade.”
Chrissy asked, “Oh the time you burned the school down?”
Katrina replied patiently, “That wasn’t me. That was you. Remember?”
Chrissy answered, “Oh yeah. So he didn’t believe about those robbers?! You write Christmas cards to them each year in jail!”
Katrina said softly, “Yeah. They should have taken me up on that job. But he didn’t believe me!” Both girls turned angry looks on Dr. Fish. They were frighteningly alike in that expression, they even had the same position. Dr. Fish felt as though he was being baked and felt afraid. Very afraid. Then suddenly Katrina said, “But that’s okay.” And then the girls yet again were chatting. They mirrored each other in their gestures. Dr. Fish was scared. There couldn’t be two girls like that one. Could there?
Dr. Fish asked, “So… are you girls sisters or something?”
Chrissy said, “Of course not Mr. Fishy.”
Dr. Fish tried again, “So, you must have been friends a long time to be so similar, right?”
Katrina answered this time, “His name is Dr. Dolphin. Not Mr. Fishy, get it right! Oh, no. We’ve only been friends for a year or so.”
Dr. Fish wasn’t happy about his name being mangled so he worked up a back bone and sent Katrina on her way. Chrissy sat down and Dr. Fish said, “Okay. Now, just tell me about a happy childhood memory. Please make it a short one.”
Chrissy had been staring at her shoes and then suddenly looked up at him and said, “Huh? Oh. Okay. Well it was in kindergarten. I had this great Beauty and the Beast © lunch box and well it was discolored from being in the refrigerator. Pink instead of purple. So I brought it to school and set it with all the other boxes when this boy, Ryan I think, started making fun of me! I got so mad! So later when he was beating up this guy from another grade, uh, Zack I think, I brought out my favorite blowtorch and lit his jacket on fire (Oh, we don’t endorse this kind of violence, just in case you’re too impressionable). It was so funny watching him jump around. The boy he was beating up was really happy too. That was such a good memory. Short enough for you?”
Dr. Fish was rubbing his forehead, for some reason he seemed to be having sharp pains. He looked up at Chrissy, she seemed be telling the truth as far as she knew. Dr. Fish was too tired to even try to jot down a possible problem. He asked her to go get the next girl. This girl had brown hair to her shoulders. She seemed normal enough too, but by this point Dr. Fish wasn’t going to get his hopes up. But at least they couldn’t get any worse. How could they? She sat down on the chair, said her name was Janine, and then casually looked around the office. Dr. Fish asked tiredly, “So. Talk about anything you want to. I’ll tell you when your time is up.”
Janine looked at him and said thoughtfully, “Okay. Well I was thinking that there’s no reason for me to be here. I mean why should I be here when I could be making money? This is costing money from the school and taxes from me. Money is power. I need power. So why am I here?”
Dr. Fish said hesitantly, “Um..”
Janine blinked and said, “Oh, where was I? Well. How about a memory. I was once really low on money. Only about ten million back then. So I had to think of a way to get money fast. So I thought to myself, ‘What can I sell? My soul!’ Well after offering it to the pawn shop, who wouldn’t accept it, I tried to find the devil, after reviewing the fact I couldn’t get in contact with the devil, and the fact he isn’t very trustworthy, I thought I could go to the next best person. Katrina. The only problem is she wouldn’t offer enough. Only a dollar. I mean what kind offer is that for a good friend? I guess you really know how much a friend values you after you try to sell them your soul, I mean I-”
Dr. Fish interrupted as he said loudly, “Time’s up. Go get the next girl!” The sharp pains in his head were coming more often. One last girl, one left, one left. Only one! Dr. Fish kept repeating it in his mind. His focus was so absolute on those two words he was surprised to find a girl with long flowing black hair sitting in the chair across from him. His vision was blurring from his headache. Dr. Fish struggled to get out, “Go ahead and talk about whatever you want… Oh, who are you?”
The girl offered a shy smile and said softly, “My name is Ana.” Dr. Fish was reassured by her soft voice. He was sure his vision was returning. Ana continued, “Well. I suppose I should talk to you about what’s on my mind. I have a very busy schedule, what with school and all…” Dr. Fish was even more reassured as he kept listening to her soft hesitant voice. Finally there was a normal girl among them! He wasn’t in a job from hell. Maybe he didn’t need to resign on his first day! He began tearing up with joy! Then he noticed something in the corner of his eye. Ana seemed to be moving, yet she wasn’t; and her voice was deepening. His eyes focused on her. He noticed with alarm that she was now talking in a demonic voice and her head was turning around on her head. She was possessed! He had to get out of here! Dr. Fish began to whimper and tried to scream but couldn’t get one out. Then in burst Katrina and she ran straight towards the now demonic Ana and said, “Never mind. I found your wallet for you, so you don’t need to borrow that dollar from me.”
Ana was suddenly back to normal and handed back the dollar to Katrina. They said goodbye to Dr. Fish as they both left for lunch. Dr. Fish sat on the floor huddled up. He rocked himself and kept thinking of what kind of school he was now working at. As the hour went on he kept reassuring himself. They were only playing with him. They were only joking. They were only trying to spook him… Then as lunch was nearly over he was almost calm again. Perhaps they guys would be better, and he could request only to work with the guys. Dr. Fish uncurled from the floor and straightened his tie and few hairs. His headache was all gone now. Those girls were the smartest, so they could have easily pulled off such a joke. He heard soft talking outside his office. Lunch must be over now. He opened the door and saw five young men…
Wait until next edition to hear about the rest of Dr. Fish’s day! Does he survive? Who knows…
Now I would like to say about all the © littered though out this. I use those to point out that I do not own them. Sorry if I confuse you. If I made it up, it’s hopefully obvious. If I have not, I put © because it is copyrighted to whatever corporation produces it. I am a lonely consumer, and I apologize profusely for the brand names everywhere. One must make some connection to life after all. Inu-Yasha does not belong to me either. The concept of sailor senshi doesn’t belong to me. But our original characters, as well almost all original storylines belong to us, the group that I am speaking for. So enjoy, don’t steal, and most of all, don’t sue!
To go back to the library click here.
