It was a normal day. Quiet, calm. Birds were singing, squirrels were frolicking, everything was at peace EXCEPT FOR ZIFRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh no! She was up to some terrible scheme! At that moment, she was... asleep. She rolled over and said lazily, "Firon, go do something Evil Incarnate," then went back to sleep. After grumbling for a bit, Firon began his Evil work...
All the Scouts and Tuxies were sitting around in Ana's living room. Amarus said, "Something Evil is going to happen today." "Really?" Janine asked without looking up from the pile of change she was counting, "how do you know that?"
Amarus said, "Because every time we all meet up like this, the bad guys do something the same day!" Everyone began to mutter agreement, when (dun dun dun!) there was a crash. Amarus jumped up and yelled, "SEE?! SEE?! The bad guys!!!!" Maria poked her head around the corner and said, "No, actually that was just me dropping some baking sheets. By the way, my spice cookies are done!" Everyone leaped up and bolted to the kitchen, eager to try Maria's latest culinary creation. Just as their hands were poised above the pile of cookies, they heard screams coming from outside. Brianna said, "THAT wasn't cookie sheets dropping!" They all ran outside (they must look like a stampede) and transformed. Firon was in the middle of the road standing next to his latest monster: a cow with purple high heel tap dancing shoes on each hoof. Firon turned, and thought to himself, "How do they always get here so darn fast?!" The good guys (all 16 of them) were looking around for the Evil cow's victims. Alex asked, "Where are all the people you zapped of energy?!"
Firon said, "Well, we got tired of doing that, so to get you all here we just played back the screams from last attack," and he held up a tape recorder. After receiving blank looks, he continued, "I mean, that's the only thing we ever do. We never destroy property, we never rob banks, we never order Chinese takeout and then run off without paying, we only zap energy! BORING!" Turning suddenly malevolent, he said, "But there'll be no more monotony NOW! My new plan is to turn on all the fire hydrants and flood the city!!"
Sandy leaned over and whispered to Christian, "Didn't that happen on the Simpsons?"
Christian whispered back, "Pretty weird plan."
Firon's plan was apparently pretty big, because he went on, "My new monster Cowwy the MooMoo is the best ever! She has been made to be invincible to each of your attacks! NONE OF YOU SCOUTS CAN ATTACK!!!!!"
Chrissy was getting bored by now (I mean it's been THREE MINUTES!), so she yelled, 'Oh YEAH?! Watch this! Starfire Stellify!!!!"
As the ball of flames widened toward Cowwy, she started tap dancing. This caused an earthquake that shook up Starfire enough to screw up her attack. Sailor Starfire was thrown down on her butt from being shook up. Sailor Dragonspaw shrugged. "Oh well. She never really had that attack introduced anyway... guess it is now."
Firon laughed and created a portal that led back to where ever he'd come from. As he was going into it, he yelled, "Don't you get it?! YOU CAN'T ATTACK!!!"
"Actually," Sailor Curtain said, "we CAN attack. It might not harm the enemy, but that does not affect our ability to attack."
"Screw that!" Sandy said, "If she's invincible to OUR attacks, then WE won't attack: we'll make the guys do it!"
All of the guys got a sweat drop and exclaimed, "WHAT?! US?!"
"Yeeeaaaah..." Amarus said with an Evil grin, "they never do anything. Now that I think about it, nearly half of them have never even worn their outfit!!"
The Midnight Caper decided that this would be a nice opportunity to impress Chrissy, and he stepped forward and said boldly, "I'll attack!" ......There was a long pause. Finally, he turned back to the (large) group and said sheepishly, "Ummm, guys... what exactly IS my attack?"
In disbelief of his stupidity, The Draco Knight started yelling at him. "YOU MEAN YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW YOUR OWN ATTACK?!"
The Midnight Caper defended himself with, "Well I'VE never done it before. The guy before me has only done it once!"
The guys showed him how you produce items from his outfit, and explained to him that his attack was..... ummm.... hey, what IS this guy's attack? *looks it up* Oh. He throws gold ash in the enemy's eyes and they're temporarily blinded. Zack did NOT like that. "You mean I just throw some stupid glitter?! That's not related to ANYTHING celestial!! Forget that, I'm doing my OWN attack!" With that, he produced some ninja stars and was about to throw them when Sailor Icesis popped up in front of him. Smiling sweetly, she said in a cutesy voice, "Oh, I understand how you feel and everything, but, you see..."
"WE are the ones with ninja stars in our attacks," Sailor Steelkitty said as she grabbed the stars from his still poised-to-attack hand. The Midnight Caper was then beaten with both fists, feet, and severe verbal abuse by the two of them. Starfire shook her head and sighed, "Why do I always get the weird tuxies?"
"I HEARD--OW--THAT!!" The Midnight Caper shouted back, from underneath Icesis and Steelkitty's still pounding feet.
"Hey..." Starfire thought out loud, "all of this talk about tuxies with 'taken' attacks has gotten me thinking." "YOU were THINKING?!" Sailor Hurricane gasped.
Starfire glared at her. "Shut up. I was just wondering... Kyle, isn't your attack Dragon Cleansing Flame??"
"Oh, no, that's what I do with Katrina. My attack's storming phoenix--." realizing his mistake of mentioning "phoenix", he shut up and began to chuckle nervously as he hid behind Hurricane.
Hurricane (unsuccessfully) attempted to get Kyle to stop hiding behind her back. "YOU'RE supposed to be protecting ME!!"
"But she's SCARY!" he whined as Starfire crept closer, her voice icy.
"Storming Phoenix, huh? Isn't a phoenix a FIERY type of bird???"
"I-I wouldn't kn-now," he whimpered pathetically, "I'm just a stupid wimp. HAVE PITY ON THE STUPID WIMP!!"
Hurricane shoved him at Sailor Starfire and said, "Oh, you're a stupid wimp, all right!" Now that he was unprotected and faced with a mad Starfire, he REALLY began to panic. But would he be coward enough to shift the blame onto one of his comrades? Was he THAT pitiful?! Ohhh, you'd be a fool to say no. He said, "ALEX! He's ENTIRELY fiery!! Even his GUARDIAN is fiery! VERY fiery! W-why don't you go and kill HIM, instead?"
Starfire got very cheery and said, "Oh, ok! I'll go do that!" Then she suddenly went back into her icy "I'm going to kill you now' mood as she turned to Alex. She said in a menacingly low tone, "Alex... You're as good as a charcoal briquette..."
Alex seemed pretty cool with the death threats... then she started to creep closer. With a girlish squeal, he bolted down the road, around the corner, and out of sight.
Sandy said, "They're no match for us, and they know it!"
Throughout all of this, Cowwy the MooMoo was peacefully grazing on some near by grass.
Steve suddenly gasped, "OH MY GOSH! Look at that wispy figure! I... I think it's a ghost!"
The "wispy figure" started shouting at Steve and the gang. "GHOST?! IS THAT WHY I NEVER DO ANYTHING?! YOU THINK I'M A GHOST?!"
Sailor Curtain gasped, "RAOUL! I hardly believe it! It's my tuxy-I-forgot-I-had Raoul!"
Raoul sniffed sadly, "You never notice me... even the senshi i protect forgot about me!!"
"Ummm, guys?" Ana said, "You know, we still have that cow to take care of..."
At the mention of the word "cow", Sailor Dragonspaw instantly dropped down on her hands and knees and began to moo. After about six seconds of that, her attention span ran out so she switched it to a quack. "Well, since she isn't really doing any damage," The Ice Lord said, "I don't think that we really need to destroy her. How about we just send her off to some place where she could be happy and undestructive?"
"I KNOW!" Sailor Yui gasped. Reaching into her bag o' tricks, she came up with a cell phone. She explained, "I'll just call Norif on my inter-dimentional cell phone. We can ask him to let Ms. MooMoo into Poptart Land!!"
Everyone agreed that this was an exceptional idea, so Yui dialed IDO for Inter-Dimentional Operator. The operator, a retired pirate name Bob, answered and said, "Arr, maytee! 'Ow may I be of service to ye?"
"I'd like to be connected to Norif, inhabitant--errk, the ruler of Poptart land."
"Arr, and what might his phone number be?"
Yui had to think for just a second to answer, "1-800-POPTARTS. Thank you, sir!"
Bob chuckled, "I jus' be doin' me duty, lass!" and connected her.
Norif answered, "Hello, this is Norif from Toaster Castle."
Yui rolled her eyes, "Oh, so you get a castle now, is that it?"
Norif wondered, "How did she get this number?" but dismissed the thought, and said, "Oh, hello Sailor Yui. What business brings you to call here?"
"I need to ask a favor. We have this bad guy who's, umm, not so Evil. Can she stay with you?"
Norif straightened up a little and responded nobly, "Why, but of course! A good ruler could always use good subjects--"
*CLICK*
Yui turned to the group. "Great news, guys! If she wants to be in, she's in!"
Dragonspaw, Hurricane, and Starfire had been making a truce with Cowwy the MooMoo, who agreed so long as she could get a new pair of tap dancing shoes. Brianna put away the cell phone and pulled out two pairs of shoes that were sparkly red so that they looked like Dorothy's (DON'T GET BLOWN AWAY, TOTO!!!!). Cowwy was VERY pleased. A light came from her cow bell and stopped abruptly, swirling into a misty gateway. She thanked them all, took a final bite of grass, and walked through the portal into Poptart Land. The gate closed, and all of the Senshi and their Tuxies were left alone in the middle of the road. There was a pause as everyone just stood there. Listening carefully, the could hear the panicked screams of Alex, who by now was two blocks away (and still running).
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