Wedsnesday, July 20, 2003
Updated the images page. Please ignore their poor quality -- as I scanned them right before both old computer and scanner broke. Pictures by KIM BANZHAF. If you have more you'd like to add to the site; email me at this address. And I'm sorry it took so long to get them up but Geocities FTP didn't like my firewall. That has all been corrected now. Thanks, Management.

Monday, May 19, 2003
Okay, well, Kristina's computer is a piece of crap, so I never told you but there was a show on the 17th. In the words of Andrew,
"We didn't do all that hot, but we managed to get a little deal where we record 4 of our songs at the Upper Room someday. Yay! Anyway, we learned that practicing is a must, so we're gonna work extra hard for you kids when you see us at the Door..."
Which brings me to the next point, the Door show.
May 24th @ the Door in Dallas; mainstage @ 9:15...come at 8:15, tickets are $10 at the door all night long.
the Door's website
And the elbows are recording soon ... not sure when, so when I know, it'll be up here. Lastly; the elbows have a
- FORUM and
- GUESTBOOK.
So, go check those out, and I'll update the images section as soon as I fix my computer's ftp. Ciao.

Sunday, April 27, 2003
There are two tentative shows coming up soon -- more info when I get it for you; and the flyingelbows are going to record, with lots o' songs for your enjoyment. So hopefully that monster tracklist from the album will be up soon, too. Other than that, pretty much every section has been updated, including this retro-record layout (thanks goes out to Rachael for artistic genius) and that's all folks. Get clicking.

Friday, April 4, 2003
Congratulations to the elbows who placed second at Berkner BOB! This is probably all due to the combined power of Andrew's nifty jacket, the funk song, and Eric Anderson's bilingual talents...Or maybe it was just their entirely original set and some pretty rocking music. You decide. They didn't place at Pearce BOB, which means the judges probably left during their set. Or something. Andrew wants to add:
"conformity is glorified, and originality is stifled."
And with that pearl of wisdom, I leave you. Peace.

Friday, March 7, 2003
Well, the Flyingelbows got fed up with recording and gave up. So, there won't be any of that. But they are 2/2 in battle of the bands auditions at Berkner and Pearce, so go listen to them there and buy a t-shirt or something. Indeed.

Friday, December 6, 2002
Good news everyone. After months of toil and bloody, brutal battles with the monster geocities easy HTML options, Andrew Cies has given up on the Flyingelbows website, resigned his title of webmaster, and given it to Kristina. The Flyingelbows apologize for any heart-attacks the new, shiny, rockin appearance of the website may cause any old visitors who were still expecting to see the rather spotty, random colored logo at the top of the old page. If you don't like the layout, don't tell Kristina. If you like the layout enough to steal it, she'll come after you with a hockey stick and beat you over the head. Webmaster out.

Sunday, April 21, 2002
Ok folks, since I don't know how to make webpages to save my life, we're encountering a few difficulties. Sometimes the background works, and sometimes it doesn't. Just bear with me and maybe someday I'll figure out what I'm doing. Anyway, we're gonna be playing at a couple of places sometime soon so here's a little list: Sometime in April or May, @ Parkhill Jr. High School; June 1st at the Next Door. We'll keep you updated if anything changes. We also played at our church last night, and that went pretty well. People really seemed to enjoy our 50's songs and some actually liked our originals (keep in mind these are old people). OK well here's an article by our new correspondent on MIDI's. -Andrew.

How good is your midi sequencer?
By: "Murray"
What's the first word that comes to mind when you think of treating yourself to an evening packed full of fun and excitement?! I don't think there's any contest here, I'm pretty confident we're all think the same thing, *MIDI*! Well, let me tell you compadres, I know everyone out there is looking to get the most out of their MIDI experience, so I'm here to offer you a few thoughts on MIDI, I mean, we want to educate our children!!! Where would be without MIDI for the next generation?! I shudder to think of the horror our world could possibly face, SAVE THE WHALES?!?!???? WHY NOT SAVE THE MIDI!?!?!? I MEAN JUST BECAUSE EVERYBODY MAKES FUN OF YOU AND CALLS YOU A LOSER CAUSE YOU SPEND MAYBE...HYPOTHETICALLY...7 HOURS A DAY ON IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T BE COOL!!!!!!!!!! *ahem* Anyway, I just want to try and get everyone to push their MIDI to the max. First of all people, let's be sure we attempt to include all the tracks to a song, for instance, let's not put a midi file on a site that says, "One Step Closer by Linkin Park," when it doesn't have, say, a bass track or a guitar track. I mean, sweet cheeks of Budda, people, what are we trying to do? Give midi enthusiasts a heart attack? That's just plain sacrilegious to get a wild midi fan's hopes up like that and then let them down without, say, a cowbell track!!! The cowbell track DRIVES the song, we NEED that for maximum effectiveness. That's what I'm saying, it's the little things that make the big differences. Well, unfortunately I only got one point across, but allow me to share one last point, the most important ever. If you are going to sequence a drum track, which we all know any half decent midier would do, make it accurate. The first sign to a fake midier is an incorrect drum track. We need to ban together to conquer the evil of these midi fakers. These poser only wish they were equipped with the skill and precision that it takes to be a true midi master!!! All right loyal followers, tomorrow is sacrifice your output cord at midi-cult night so everybody get ready to burn!!!! ------Midi out...

Uh...thanks for that informative article, Murray...

Wednesday, April 17, 2002
Well, the website is finally under new management. I (Andrew) have taken it over for forever now. I took the liberty of taking down all the song lyrics that are no longer used and adding newly written lyrics. The top story for today is that the Flyingelbows finally have a new drummer, Jeff Lott. This skilled musician has played with a plethora of bands and the Elbows are happy to have him applying his expertise to their music. An article by the new drummer should be on the way, so check back for updates frequently.

Thursday, February 21, 2002
Well, the songs page has been updated with a vintage songs lyrics (Kroger Man) and the about section has been updated with some History information about the band. Also read the aricle below by no other then the famous Erico!

Jr. High Retreat; A Synopsis of .5 of the FlyingelbowS experiences at Pine Cove FlyingelbowS fan base expanded!
It all started a long time ago, around November, when our friendly TNT youth leader, Ray Scholl, asked Andrew and I to provide some musical music at the Sr. High retreat with our dear friend Jeff Wilkins. We went, we played badly, and Jeff asked us to come back and play for the Jr. High retreat. Surprising though this was, I agreed (naturally answering all questions for Andrew without asking him). It was thru this course of events that Andrew and I found ourselves at Pine Cove Towers this past weekend, guitars in hand. We played lots of worship songs, and the spiritual aspect of the retreat was great (go Stacey!). However, we did not spend all our time playing worship songs, and we did have the opportunity to meet new folks, play cool games, and get spanked silly by Jeff at pickle-ball. During our free time, Andrew and I meet lots of really swell people like; Brad, Jay, Jonathan, Ryan, Pat, Travis, Bizarro-Eric, Jessica, Abbie, Katherine and Naomi. Leaders such as Joel and Jeff abused us most heinously, and our own TNT jr. highers were quite crazy. Jonathan plans on taking over the world, but that's just a side note. In the words of Roma, "I'm gonna go find some girls!"

Moving right along... It was by meeting these kool folks that the FlyingelbowS were able to greatly able to expand their fan base, making honorary FlyingelbowS fans out of many. Some day when we have a concert (and find a drummer) we hope to welcome these fans, and many others, back.

So, until next time, this is Erico signing off.

Ps. If any of you know some swanky drummers, let us know.
Ps. Giving a shout out to one of our favorite bands in the world; Futuristic Mayo!

Thursday, February 7, 2002
Alrighty there is lots of news for today! Read it all, and I mean all..........
A Study In the Habits of the Flyingelbows
An Exhaustively Researched Article By: Sam Jones

A few weeks ago I was kicking back in my office listening to my bootleg tape of the Flyingelbows' first concert wondering whatever became of such an extraordinary band. It seems like just recently I was following a rumor about their Spring Concert, which never actually happened. Well this time I didn't just want rumors; I wanted to know the truth. Since I knew the Flyingelbows closely guarded everything surrounding the band I knew it was going to take some extremely covert reporting to accomplish the task. I began by staking out behind Albie's house. I knew that dirt usually first appears with the lead guitarists. It was here that I say a familiar blue cavalier (yes the very cavalier that front man Andrew Cies drives!) stopping by at very strange hours. I took the initiative and followed them to their secret location. They returned to Andrew's house, but as they got out they spotted me! Andrew threatened to "send his blood-thirsty, ravenous cats after me" so I got out of there fast! But don't worry fans; one simple threat can't keep this ace reporter away. I discovered they practice at bassist, Eric Anderson's brother's house. This was a very interesting turn of events. I managed to remain hidden around this house long enough to witness 2 practices. During the first practice, which included everybody but Corey Smith, the ex-drummer, who at the time was a member of the band, I noticed a young lad exiting the house. I believe he was going to the local 7-11 for some Mountain Dews because that is what he had upon his return. Before he got to the house I managed to catch him and chat a little bit about the band and it's progress. I'll simply call this young man J. Deng...no wait that's too obvious...I'll call him John D.
The interview went as follows:
S.J.: Now just tell me everything you know about the band.
J.D.: They are practicing a lot.
S.J.: So what's going on with the band right now?
J.D.: They are practicing a lot.
S.J.: How are their new songs sounding?
J.D.: New songs are refreshingly good.
S.J.: Are there any tensions among the members?
J.D.: only between the band and the drummer
S.J.: Are they still reading the CY-GOR comics?
J.D.: Thank God no, they aren't reading CY-GOR.
S.J.: Can you tell me anything about the new songs? What new and interesting topics are they dealing with in their songs?
J.D.: Old TV heroes, and songs named for band members.
S.J.: Anything else?
J.D.: They are usually named for what the band feels when it plays the song...about the song.
S.J.: Can you give me an example?
J.D.: The Tool Song and The song Albie Likes, etc. Also the songs cover a lot of different types of music that punk can be classified as.
S.J.: What do you mean with that last statement?
J.D.: They can be slow, punkish, jazzish, pulsing, and hardcore.
S.J.: Do you know any of their plans for their next concert?
J.D.: No, nada.
S.J.: I've got one last question for you...
J.D.: alright
S.J.: Do you think the band will be mad that you're spilling so much private information?
J.D.: It's not really private.
S.J.: What!? Not private!? Then how come it's so hard for me to get all this stupid information on this stupid band? I don't even like their music! I just do this cause my stupid boss keeps assigning me to this stupid band. Week after week, I get no break! I hate my job! I hate my life! I hate the Flyingelbows! Why did they ever have to be formed? They're so stupid! Oh sorry about that...I hadn't been getting very much sleep around that time. I was just a little edgy. During that rant John D. managed to slip away. So there you have it. That was just one practice in the life of the Flyingelbows. The second practice was even better. Since John D. did not attend this one, I was forced to root through the garbage for answers. It was there that I found...broken guitar strings! This means they really must be rocking hard because everybody knows that Andrew, Eric, and Albie hardly ever break strings. I also was able to hear a few of the songs from my vantage point in the backyard. It appears they have a new song entitled "Friendly Man." We'll just have to wait and see what develops from this. It's clearly safe to assume they are doing all of this work for a concert. I for one hope that they keep up this backbreaking practice schedule so all of us fans can witness a truly awesome concert. Well this is Sam Johnson, the every-ready Flyingelbows reporter, signing off.

The Bermuda Triangle, Albert Alexander Connection
By: Harold Jones, Paranormal Researcher, Harvard

The Bermuda Triangle is notorious around the world for the strange things that happen there. Radio communications fail, people disappear mysteriously, and entire ships vanish. It's just safe to say that when things entire this doomed area, they don't come back out in as good condition as they went in. Researchers call this the "Bermuda Triangle Effect." I believe that there is another bizarre set of occurrences similar to these happening in the world. The only difference is that these problems can be traced back to one person. That effect is called the "Albert Alexander Effect." I will logically walk through the situations in which I believe this circumstance is proved to exist.
Fact: Albert once owned a Squier Strat that developed the following problems while in his ownership; the volume knob was loose, the wires came off of two pickups, and the solder wouldn't melt. He proceeded to fix it mostly with duct tape and cell phone parts.
Fact: Albert gave that very guitar to a friend of his named Stacey since that time there have been no reported problems.
Clearly there is no room for doubt that Albert's mere presence near the guitar causes it to malfunction and work incorrectly. This alone is convincing evidence, but Albert has had more encounters with breaking his guitar-related items.
Fact: Albert plays using a DOD Grunge pedal for his distortion effects. While at a practice he managed to get the pedal stuck in the distortion setting, thereby rendering it useless. He has been unable to get it to function properly since that time.
This proves that he not only breaks things, but he often breaks things so that even he cannot fix them.
Fact: Albert used to own a Squier Amplifier. He managed to blow out the fuse during an intense Flyingelbows practice, while using a low volume setting. He proceeded to fix it by inserting a car stereo fuse in its place. This failed to work properly so he opened up his amp and replaced the fuse with a piece of wire. This attempt failed. This further proves that he wrecks things beyond repair. The final example of the "Albert Alexander Effect" is definitely the most horrific. It is recommended that younger readers skip this portion of the article.
Fact: Albert has recently acquired a new Ibanez Artist Series guitar name Sheila. On Sunday, June 24, the unthinkable happened; Albert's new guitar was broken. It seems the cable jack on the guitar somehow was broken. The bridge position pick-up was also not functioning properly. Although he was able to fix both problems, he was unable to explain either occurrence, so one must assume it is the "Albert Alexander Effect" taking over. Make sure that your equipment isn't next! Be sure to never, under any circumstances, let Albert borrow or even touch anything you own that is music related, specifically guitar related. Although he has proven himself to be extremely technically gifted, it's best to not take any chances. Not letting him near your equipment is the only way to ensure the safety of your loved ones.

Possible Side Project?
By: Frederick Smith

It is rumored that lead-singer Andrew Cies has recently started a new rap side project. These rumors are based on the many sightings of Andrew in the Richardson area sporting clothes representing a rap life-style. He has also been seen hanging around the well-known rapper-recording studio, "Yo Yo, Dis Be Where We Record Rap." When questioned about this Andrew simply replied, "I would never turn my back on the band and use my immense fame to catapult a career to gain more money. The mere fact that you would try and raise these wild allegations is appalling!" Although he says this, I have reason to believe he may be lying. A new rap group has recently turned up on MTV for the popular TRL program. This rap group is named Andy C and the Gangstaz, and the leader bears striking resemblance to the Flyingelbows' own Andrew Cies. When will Andrew finally admit to his other group? Only time will tell, but I believe the Flyingelbows need to take action to stamp out this problem as soon as possible.

Eric Anderson Dead at the Tender Age of 16!
By: William the Squirrel

Yes folks, what you feared most has come true! Flyingelbows bassist and all around cool guy, Eric Anderson is dead. The tale is rather gruesome, but I know you all are twisted and sadistic and will enjoy this tale of pain and suffering. It all happened Saturday, June 23. This remarkable youth was happily traveling through his local forest helping all the injured baby animals, and putting out the campfires of less responsible campers when disaster struck! Out of nowhere, a pack of ravenous, bloodthirsty barracudas swam up behind him and begin to chase him. Although Eric was an All-American track star, even youths grow tired and weary. He ran for what must have been 3 full days, but the barracudas were unrelenting. They wanted one thing: a tasty snack named Eric Anderson. Eventually one of the large fish managed to bite off Eric's right leg, and although he was a very skilled one-legged hopper, the rest of the pack quickly devoured him. It's a shame that such a creative musician had to be lost at such an early age. The band still hasn't released a statement on Eric's untimely passing.

Tuesday, February 5, 2002
I hope you all like the layout for this website, If you do it was created by Nicholas Winkel, and if you don't it was created by Andrew Cies.