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I remember years ago seeing a review of Kabuki Quantum Fighter in Nintendo Power magazine, and thinking that it looked really neat! The main character is a Kabuki fighter who uses his hair for a weapon. Yes, his hair. What could possibly be cooler than that? So when Woolworth's finally threw copies of KQF into their discount bin, I was ecstatic! Unfortunately, after having actually played the game, I was disappointed since KQF turned out to be little more than a subpar sidescroller, despite its bizarre and quirky theme.
GRAPHICS:
7/10Although KQF's graphics are not bad for 8-bit era games,
they are a bit flat and uninspired. The game is supposed to take place inside
a supercomputer, but much of the graphics look as though they were ripped from Ninja Gaiden 2, right down to
the beating hearts in the walls and the ancient temple with flowing blue rivers. (What is an ancient temple with rivers doing inside a supercomputer?)
Round 3 seems to be the most convincing portrayal of a virtual computer environment, but it's also the most boring to look at. Some of the sci-fi horror elements of other levels are much more interesting, like these animated Contra-esque aliens and faces that line the walls of later stages.
The look and feel of the enemies, which represent various computer virii, is generic. They're a bizarre menagerie of snapping jaws, weird statue
heads, lizardmen, pouncing dogs, and other creatures that don't have much consistency with the theme - some of them are drawn in a "realistic" fashion, while others look comical. The bosses are nice, but also a bit uninspired. The first few you
fight are very small and look like normal enemies, but later bosses
are larger and more colorful. (The final boss is indescribably messed-up looking!)
One really positive thing I can say about Kabuki Quantum Fighter is that the animation of
the hero's motions when flipping, punching, and using his hair are very
fluid and it's fun just watching them! But the walking and jumping animations were done with only two frames each, so it looks a little silly in comparison.
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SOUND:
5/10KQF's stage music has a fast-paced, techno-style
sound to it. The overall flavor of the music is very
unique to this game. It does not sound like it was ripped off from
another game, and nor does it copy any other game's style that I'm
aware of. Unfortunately, I found myself only taking a liking to the music of Rounds 1 and 2. The music in later rounds is very annoying!
The boss music and the cinema scene music are very subpar. In Ninja Gaiden, the music during the cinema scenes
would always change to reflect the current mood. But in KQF, similar
music is used for almost every scene, and it's generally quite bland.
The sound effects are serviceable. I like the "swishing" noise of
the hero's hair.
CONTROL: 5/10Kabuki Quantum Fighter's control is where my disappointment with this game truly began. HAL was wrong when they touted this game as having the "best play control ever". Some actions, such as running and flipping from handlebars, are very responsive. It only takes a few moments to get a feel for the "hair" weapon, since it's not that much different from using a sword or whip in other games. (You just have to learn to line up the top of your character with the enemies rather than his midsection.) But the controls for jumping are less than intuitive. The hero springs up very fast when making a jump, and it's often difficult to control exactly where he goes or lands. This can sometimes make simple jumps unnecessarily tough to do. KQF is not a difficult game, but it's few challenging areas are mostly due to play control issues. Punching uses several frames of animation, so it's a little slow. Given time and practice, KQF's controls became less frustrating, but the quirks can still be
annoying.
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STORY/ATMOSPHERE:
4/10Set in the distant future, an alien virus
has taken over the world's supercomputer, which just
happens to control the world's supply of nuclear weapons. The only
way to combat this invasion is for someone to go inside the computer
and destory the virus within. Scientists have developed a special
machine that will transfer the user's mind and spirit into the
computer, but it's not been tested yet. No one knows what form the
user will take inside the computer. Colonel Scott O'Connor
volunteers for the job. Inside the computer, he is transformed into
the Kabuki Quantum Fighter - a Japanese ballet dancer who uses his
hair for a weapon.
This story sounds unusual enough that you might think Kabuki Quantum Fighter is worth playing just to see how weird it is. Unfortunately, its anemic cinema scenes often have very little, if anything, to do with what's going on in the actual stages; To the point where they're practically irrelevant and may as well not be there at all. In one particular
scene, a warning says that Scott's brainwaves have stopped, but then
the game just continues as normal, as though that scene never
occurred.
The dialogue usually consists of inane conversations such as,
"Warning! There is an invader in Sector 12! Find the exit,
immediately!", which doesn't really add anything to the plot. Yes, the idea of controlling a character that attacks with his hair is funny and different, but after a few moments, it becomes routine, and I hardly took notice of it, anymore. He may as well have been using a sword or whip - it was just a graphical difference that didn't add much.
CHALLENGE: 4.5/10Having finally
completed Kabuki Quantum Fighter, I can say that it's not really as
difficult as I had once thought it to be. Unfortunately, most of its
challenges are more due to the drifting play control than anything
else. It's really not much fun when you know you can make that
relatively simple jump to that platform over there, but when you try
it, your character leaps unpredictably and misses.
This game also has a particularly annoying timer. I hate having to move through stages very fast in order to beat
timers. I often had to plow through and take hits
from enemies and objects, which could have been avoided if I just
had time to stop and fight. The levels with icy floors can be
aggravating, too. Instead of losing traction and sliding around a
bit (like you would in most games with icy floors), in KQF when I
jumped onto an ice block, I would often go flying off of it as
though I were thrown by some invisible force! Other times, when I had to make vertical flips, I would get hit by enemies that are up off the top of the screen and cannot be seen until it scrolls. Even after knowing the enemies would be there, I would take a hit from them, since the only way to make them visible is to scroll the screen by leaping into their unavoidable paths.
The challenge is also very inconsisent. Round 3 (of 6) is the hardest part of the whole game, and the final round is just the final boss. The only parts that pose any real challenge are more irritating than fun. Even the boss battles aren't so hot. Many are conquered in the same manner.
FUN:
4.5/10My fondest memory of KQF was seeing
reviews of it in Nintendo Power years ago, and thinking that it
really looked cool. But after actually playing it, I was let down,
because the game is just so, so average in almost every way, that it
ends up feeling below average.
The handlebar flipping is an integral part of KQF's gameplay, as you do an awful lot of it. But it adds more eye candy than play value. You also earn special weapons, which are usually best saved for boss fights and certain well-placed enemies. As far as I know, the only sane way to beat the final boss is by using a special weapon. I'm not too fond of the idea of being forced to use a special weapon that can easily run out of ammo to defeat bosses.
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I really don't like being so hard on Kabuki Quantum Fighter. I've been a fan of most of HAL's games (HyperZone, Arcana, Earthbound, the Kirby games), and it seems their hearts were in the right place. I even went ahead and completed the game two more times in one day to be sure that I wasn't underrating it. I don't think I am. The lack of challenge isn't really the biggest problem. The challenging parts are irritating, and I wouldn't want the game to be any more irritating than it already is. The problem is that KQF is poorly designed.
OVERALL SCORE (not an average):
4.5/10
MIDI: Kabuki Quantum Fighter Level 2 Theme (Stewart Gray)
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