Disclaimer: Paramount owns the ship, the humans...But Charlie and friends are all mine. Though why I would want to admit that, I don't know...
This is again an idea again borrowed from that list of rejected episode ideas. :) And thanks to Gilbert and Sullivan on how to not have the name heard...
Charlie growled at the sofa--his fur standing on end. He crouched low to the ground and his eyes turned angry. Fascinated, Kathryn Janeway put down the report she was reading and watched him. He carefully stalked the couch, his tail--looking like a bottle-brush--lashing from side to side...Suddenly he stopped and sat up. Puzzled he looked around, then started to meticulously groom himself.
Kathryn looked at her couch, then Charlie, shook her head and returned to reading her report.
#
#
Harry was bored. The only thing of remote interest to happen today,--he thought as he looked at the incoming data--was his Tavian. She had ferociously attacked his chair earlier. It would cost him several months of replicator rations to replace it.
Everything had be routine for eight days--ever since leaving Chi'Nilk space. After things had settled down, Chi'Nilk had turned into a very successful trading venture. Everybody had spent at least day on the planet. This time Harry had NOT bought a pet.
His attention focused on his console. Stunned, he quickly augmented the incoming signal.
"Captain, we are receiving a Federation Distress Call."
Everybody turned and looked at him. Janeway then looked at her First Officer--apprehension on both their faces--as they both remembered the last such call.
"Source?" Chakotay asked.
"From a class-M planet one-thousand kilometers straight ahead."
Kathryn again looked at Chakotay. Call it Delta Quadrant paranoia or the fact that Charlie was sitting at her feet--growling.
"Mr. Paris set a course to this planet warp seven. Shields up and Yellow Alert." She looked at the data. It was definitely a Federation signal--though the odds of another ship being here were...astronomical. She decided not to ask: Tuvok could probably have given her the statistical probability.
Charlie crouched flat to the ground and growled again--deep and low.
"What is it?" Janeway asked.
Tuvok was curious about this reaction shown by Charlie. There had been over a dozen reports of abnormal behavior from the Tavians over the past couple of hours. He'd sent his security teams to scour the ship--searching for anything unusual. Nothing.
"Captain, it is possible that this behavior change is connected to the planet." The Vulcan said.
She nodded. "Commander, have an away-team ready to beam down to the surface. Break out the compression phaser rifles. You'll beam down as soon as we complete the scans."
"Very good Captain. Mr. Tuvok, Mr. Kim you're with me." He tapped his comm-badge. "Chakotay to sick-bay. Kes report to transporter room one. Bring a medkit."
Janeway watched them leave the bridge then turned to the screen as Voyager entered orbit around a fairly barren class-M planet.
"Captain," Ensign McKenzie said, "sensors show one human and a signaling device. No ships or wreckage are present."
Janeway looked puzzled, but notified the away-team to go ahead.
#
#
Tuvok and Harry stood with their rifles ready as Chakotay and Kes examined the unconscious young human male.
The Ocampan ran her Tricorder over the man, who she figured was about Harry's age. "He's suffered from minor internal injuries and a concussion. We need to get him to sick-bay."
Chakotay nodded as he contacted Voyager. "Two to beam directly to sick-bay." He noted Tuvok's frown--so added, "And have a security detail posted there immediately."
After Kes and her patient had beamed out, the Commander turned his attention to the makeshift signaling beacon. "Fascinating."
Harry came over to examine it. "We should study it back on board."
Chakotay agreed and scanned the area one last time. "I detect no signs of a ship, wreckage, or residual energy signatures. I cannot figure out how he arrived here."
#
#
Kathryn Janeway stood in a corner of sick-bay silently watching the Doctor and Kes work on the young man. Charlie quietly sat by her feet. She shifted her weight on her feet. She wanted answers. Like who was this man and HOW had he come to be in the Delta Quadrant.
"Captain?" The Doctor said.
"Yes?"
"He's stabilized. He should regain consciousness within a couple of hours." The Doctor smiled. "The computer identified him as..." Charlie suddenly growled and snarled at something.
"Really?" Voyager's Captain looked at the young man with renewed interest. "That might explain how he got here."
Charlie again growled at something, causing Janeway to turn around quickly. "Charlie, you're making me nervous."
#
#
Captain Janeway sat down behind her desk--coffee cup in hand--as she looked at her first officer. "You heard who the young man is?"
Chakotay nodded. "He was on..." Charlie leapt on the desk and growled at something. "But that doesn't explain what is he doing here."
The three other Tavians leapt on the table. There was a low growl from all of them.
"Call of the hounds!" A voice exclaimed.
"Q! I should have guessed," Janeway said angrily.
"In the flesh...So to speak. Doesn't this ship have leash laws?" He said as Charlie bared his teeth.
"Charlie!" She said sharply. The Tavians quieted down, but kept a wary eye on Q.
"Now, why are you here?" Kathryn asked.
"To see my beautiful Kathy? No, that would just make Chuckles--How are you Commander?--jealous. Actually, I was hoping you would help me." He grew serious as he adjusted his gray uniform at the waist.
For a brief second she wondered why he was wearing a different uniform. He smiled, snapped his fingers and reappeared in the same flash of light in the familiar red-and-black Captain's uniform.
"The last time you requested our help..." Chakotay started to say.
"Water under the bridge. It's my son...He's disappeared with his tutor." Q sat down on the desk. "Children can be so trying...But you wouldn't know about that..." Charlie again growled. "Nice kitty."
"Tutor?" Chakotay asked.
"Yes, the young man in your sick-bay." Q smiled, a self-indulgent look on his face. "I've brought many Tutors for my son. Leading intellectuals and artists from around the galaxy and across the centuries." He frowned and glared at Charlie. "Q has been tolerant of them all. Except for..." He stood, Charlie had been inching his way forward as Q spoke.
"Yes?" Janeway asked, surprised by the Tavian reaction to Q and Q's interest in his son's education.
"Only the best for my kid. Except Q disliked his new tutor and promptly vanished with him."
"Your son is responsible for the young man's condition?"
Q shrugged. "He just doesn't have it in him to instruct a Q."
Kathryn looked at Q then Chakotay. "And?"
"I'll return him to when and where he belongs. He won't remember anything."
"Oh! No chance you could let him tell StarFleet about us..."
Q shook his head sadly, "Not even for the lovely Kathy. It would damage the time continuum." He looked at Chakotay and Kathryn, then Charlie. "Where did you find them?" He asked with disgust.
"They found us about 3 months ago," Chakotay said.
"That's longer than usual." Again he smiled. "If you see Q, let me know." He looked at Charlie and muttered something the Universal Translator didn't translate. But the Tavians did. Charlie and Tikki growled and leapt at Q. He vanished in a blaze of light. The Tavians looked around, then relaxed.
"Captain Janeway," the Doctor's voice said. "My patient has disappeared."
"Q took him," was her short reply.
"What was that about?" Chakotay asked as he stood behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders.
"Who knows, they're Q," she turned to face him. He bent his head toward hers to gently kiss her.
Charlie, Rikki, Tikki, and Tavi slipped out of the room as the gentle kiss became much more passionate.
She didn't watch Chakotay leave her ready room forty-five minutes later. This was decidedly not the way to get reports read. But, she had to admit, much more fun. She grinned slightly as she noticed Charlie had returned. He and Chakotay's trio had disappeared when...
He seemed irritated, she noticed. But then Q had that affect on people too...Suddenly he crouched low and growled. She looked around, *not again.*
"So the old goat is looking for me..."
She glanced around her ready room, Charlie leapt up on the desk and growled some more.
"Over here, Auntie Kate. I can call you Auntie Kate?" This time the speaker appeared. It was a young man of 13 or 14.
Kathryn grimaced. Two. Just what she needed. "I prefer Captain."
Q's son scowled. "Auntie Captain doesn't have the right ring to it." He looked at Charlie. "Cute. Does it do anything else but growl?"
Charlie snarled.
"I see it does." He looked around. "Very spartan. Very appropriate for a StarFleet Captain." He winked at her. "But *not* a lonely one. And the old goat was worried about you. Mom knew better."
With a wicked grin he snapped his fingers, and watched a stunned Captain Janeway take in her transformed ready room. A room now draped in brightly colored silks and tapestries. "I thought this might be a bit more appropriate." He shook his head as he watched the three gorgeous men in loin clothes fanning her with large feather fans. "No?"
"Return my room to normal," she glared at him.
"As you wish, Auntie Kate." With a snap of his fingers the room returned to standard StarFleet dull.
"Now, I would appreciate it if you left my ship. NOW."
"But...Auntie Kate..." he whined.
"Good-bye."
"But...but it's been so much fun. Did you know that Klingon women are very..."
Charlie hissed as Janeway exclaimed, "Q!"
"I've been touring the ship. It's great. No one except them--" he pointed to Charlie "--know I'm about." He grinned lasciviously. "I've learned more about human behavior than from those idiotic tutors Father found for me." He winked.
Janeway stood, one hand on her hip, one restraining Charlie. She briefly wondered if Qs were vulnerable to Tavians.
"But Auntie Kate, I'm your favorite nephew..."
She frowned. "I don't have any nephews or nieces."
Q smiled at her. "Mere mortal, but you..." Charlie growled. "Dad returned my last tutor? Too bad, he was so much fun."
She merely nodded, "If you will excuse me, I would like to return to work."
"But play is so much more fun. The old goat keeps bringing me workhorses. I keep asking for a trip to Risa...Some of those babes sure know how to..."
Charlie tried to leap at him, but Janeway's hand restrained him. He laughed at her shocked expression. "I've seen you and that Indian. It seems you enjoy..."
"I've had enough." Charlie again lunged at the boy, this time she couldn't hold him. Q vanished.
She sighed with relief. "Thank-you Charlie. He is a..." Charlie snarled and she looked around. The room was empty. She tapped her comm-badge. "Commander, yellow alert. We're being over run by a teen-age Q." She laughed at his groan, then blushed as she remembered how he had...
Charlie's growls grew louder.
"I'm back Auntie Kate."
She looked at the ceiling in frustration, that was further increased by the sound of a second voice.
"There you are," Q senior said.
"I just came to say hi to Auntie Kate."
Q grabbed his son's ear. "You've caused enough mess for one year."
"I did?" Q the younger said gleefully.
"Yes. I returned Wesley to his mother--never did like that woman."
The younger Q looked disappointed. "But he was so much fun to torment. Who did you bring this time?"
"This time I think I'll listen to your mother's advice. We will continue your education."
"But Dad..."
"No more nonsense. You will apologize to Kathy and promise to leave Voyager and her crew alone." He smiled at Kathryn.
"But Dad..." Q senior just glared at his son. "I'm sorry Auntie Kate and I promise." Charlie growled, only the Tavian noticed the kid's fingers were crossed behind his back.
The older Q nodded, "Auf wiedersehen my dear Kathy--do enjoy your First Officer..." Charlie's tail started to lash. "Is it housebroken?" Q asked just before the pair vanished.
Kathryn watched Charlie for a minute before allowing herself to relax too. And she had thought the father to be insufferable. She tapped her comm-badge. "Stand down from yellow alert. They're gone." *I hope,* she quietly added to herself. Charlie twittered in agreement.
Kathryn Janeway walked onto her bridge and looked around. "Good morning everybody. Status Reports Mr. Paris."
"Captain, all systems nominal."
She nodded crisply and sat down. She looked at Paris again. There was something...She just couldn't place it. She looked down at her console noting that Paris was scratching his head.
"Good morning, Captain," Chakotay said as he sat down beside her. "Five of the crew are in sick-bay. Seems they overindulged in Neelix's Drockerth Chocolate Souffle."
"There were three there late last night. Kes is trying to isolate the cause. I've suggested that Neelix remove it from his menu for the time being." She looked critically at the Commander.
"Is there something wrong?" He asked running his fingers over his face self consciously.
"No..." There was something...but what. Frowning, she looked down at the morning reports. Much as she wanted to, she couldn't spend the day staring at her First Officer.
#
The day was slow and several times she called for the temperature to be lowered. No one debated the matter. As she started to request the temperature lowered again--for the fifth time, she decided to contact B'Elanna.
"Bridge to Engineering,"
"Torres here, Captain?"
"Is there a problem with the temperature controls?" Kathryn asked.
"Not that I know of, Captain. But I'll run a diagnostic."
Captain Janeway smiled as she signed off, "Commander I'll be in my ready room..." Her voice faded away as his antennae twitched, she glanced away. "Tuvok, is there something wrong with your eyes?" They seemed a slightly different shape.
He ran his clawed hand over his compound eyes. "No, they're fine. You appear to be pale. Perhaps you have reacted to Neelix's cooking."
"I feel fine. Computer what is the temperature?"
"The temperature is 35 Celsius."
Janeway looked around. Hadn't she lowered the temperature. She gasped. Tom's ears...
She entered her ready room and sat down.
"Bridge to sick-bay."
"Good morning Captain," Kes said, her face appearing on the view screen. At least Janeway thought it was Kes. It was her voice anyway.
She rubbed her eyes with her hand. "Is the Doctor there."
Kes shook her head. "B'Elanna is running a diagnostic. We should have him back on line in an hour. Captain, are you feeling all right?"
"Yea fine." Again she rubbed her eyes and wondered if perhaps she was seeing things. Kes's mouth--a proboscis--where had that come from? She cut the link and looked at the report. No, there was something going on.
"Computer what is the crew compliment?" She asked suddenly.
"The crew consists of 146 Drockerths and one human." She sat there stunned...What the hell was a Drockerth anyway? And hadn't they been something else yesterday?
She sat there, the heat starting to get to her. "Computer set temperature to standard parameters."
"Temperature set at 40 Celsius."
*FORTY?* Her mind screamed at her...Something was wrong. "Computer set temperature to twenty-five Celsius."
"Unable to comply, outside the survival tolerances for the Drockerths."
"Computer activate the emergency medical holograph--voice only."
"Unable to comply."
"Authorization Janeway delta sigma three."
She smiled when she heard his voice, "Ah Captain, what may I help you with this morning?"
"The crew...what is happening?"
"Captain?"
"What are Drockerths?"
"I have no idea," the Doctor replied. "Beyond that the chocolate causes an interesting allergic reaction. I was deactivated before I could study it further."
"The crew have turned into Drockerths." She said, almost relieved that she hadn't been imagining it.
"Really?" There was a pause, then she heard the Doctor's voice again. "This is most interesting. There seems to be some sort of virus in the chocolate. It is causing the crew to metamorphose into a rather bizarre looking creature." There was another pause. "Captain, did you eat any of the chocolate?"
"No, I was tired and had retired before Neelix served it."
"Captain, you are the only crew that has not been so transformed. I would advise arming yourself. You may find yourself..."
The voice stopped just as her doorchime rang. She reached under her desk and pulled out her compression-phaser-rifle. She quickly set it on stun, and placed it in her lap. "Enter."
"Good morning Captain," the bug who had been her First Officer said. "Is everything all right?"
She looked at his misshapen face and hands. "No. Commander. Just reading reports." She noticed movement behind him. "Is something wrong, Commander?"
"You seem to look a little pale." He ducked as he drew his phaser--she was quicker, the blast from her rifle sent him flying. Before she could re-aim another Drockerth fired...
#
#
Janeway sat up suddenly, and rubbed her eyes. She felt Chakotay's hands around her waist tighten.
"Kathryn, is everything OK?" His sleepy voice asked, full of concern.
"Everything is fine," she said as she rubbed her eyes. "Bad dream. Remind me not to eat anymore of Neelix's Drockerth Chocolate souffle."
He laughed gently as he pulled her down so that he could kiss her. "You ate enough of it."
She punched him playfully. "I only ate..." She had to laugh. She'd eaten three servings. From the foot of the bed she could hear the Tavians' inquiring twitters. "You go back to sleep too..." She stretched out beside her First Officer as he again wrapped his arms around her.
Charlie twittered happily as he cuddled with the members of his harem.
****
I couldn't resist a bad dream story combined with a virus story...Or is that a dream story combined with a bad virus story.