Disclaimer: Paramount couldn't do a decent episode about sex if they tried.
A response to a challenge to write a story about a *horny planet.*
Janeway studied the console as she waited for word from the away-teams. Spotarec Prime was the first class-M planet they'd come across in many months that offered the possibility of shoreleave. And her crew needed the time off.
She leaned back and glanced at the view of the planet on the screen. The blues and greens sent a wave of nostalgia over her. Her First Officer smiled in sympathy--he knew her too well.
"Away-team to Voyager," came the clipped, efficient tones of Seven.
"Seven? Is everything all right?" She glanced at Chakotay. Tom had been in charge of that team.
"Everything is within standard parameters." Was the reply.
"Where's Tom?"
"Lieutenants Paris and Torres are studying a herd of horny creatures." There was a slight sound of puzzlement in her voice.
Chakotay chuckled, so did several of the bridge crew as Seven continued.
"Lieutenant Paris wants me to report that these creatures have a healthy appetite."
"Are they dangerous?"
"No, Captain. They are preoccupied with their present activity."
"I bet," someone said with a snort.
"Captain, the creatures are exhibiting behavior I do not understand. Many of them are rolling in the dirt...and some are thrashing about in the bushes."
"Oh." Janeway replied with a quick glance at Chakotay. He reached over and patted her hand. This was not the time or place for that conversation. She would ask the Doctor to bring the subject up later.
"Perhaps the away-team should move to another area?" Give the poor creatures some privacy.
"Lieutenant Paris and Lieutenant Torres do not believe that is necessary. They are quite enjoying their present situation."
"Oh..."
"Captain, a large extra-horny male is approaching me..." There was a slight nervousness in Seven's voice.
Janeway's eye's opened wide. "Prepare to beam aboard..."
"Captain," Seven interrupted. "There is no need. He is somehow communicating with me his desire for you to have knowledge of his species."
Janeway looked at Chakotay who was trying not to laugh. "Very well, I'll beam down in five minutes..."
Six minutes later she found herself on a grassy knoll. Tom and B'Elanna were laughing hysterically, and Seven had a hint of a smile on her face.
Yes, she decided, her crew really did need shoreleave.
Surrounding the intrepid captain were dozens and dozens of small triceratops-like animals.