with apologies to Judith Viorst and Paramount.
I went to bed with my boots on, and now there's a hole in my mattress and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on my wrench and by mistake I dropped my uniform jacket in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
At breakfast Neelix served Ramparian spice oatmeal and Throckleberry juice but I was late and all I got was leftover leola root casserole.
I think I'll leave Voyager.
On the bridge, Janeway let Rollins have the conn, Harry got ops, Tuvok even got to work on the bridge, I was sent to sick-bay. I said I'm a pilot...No one answered.
I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
In sick-bay, Jenny had a rash, but I wasn't allowed to see. The Doctor said I talked too loud. During anatomy he mentioned I'd forgotten the carpels. Who needs carpels? I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
Then the doctor examined me, and said I had a cavity. Come back next week and I'll fix it, said the Doctor.
Next week, I said, I'm leaving Voyager.
On the way to my holodeck, the lift door closed on my foot and while working on the car, I splattered oil on B'Elanna. She wasn't laughing.
I am having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. I told everybody. No one even answered.
There were Horsa beans for dinner and I hate horsas.
B'Elanna wouldn't let me kiss her and I like kissing her.
Then some alien stole my body. I hate this new body. It is definitely a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
Even when I'm not on Voyager.