Resolution Vignettes: A collection of short scenes that were not, but should have been, included in the ST Voyager episode "Resolutions".
All the usual disclaimers apply. The characters may belong to Paramount, but what they do between episodes, during the summer, and in my rather dangerous mind are my concern. This is, after all, my alternate universe.
Feel free to send this story to friends or to archives, just please keep my name, disclaimer, and any notes attached.
Did they or didn't they? I've come to the conclusion the only reason they didn't, is that TPTB (IMHO) still haven't decided what's going to happen between them.
This story is based upon the timeline that they were on the planet 6 weeks before the Angry Warrior Speech and the Vidiian Battle. And that approximately another 5-6 weeks went by before Voyager returned to the planet.
I also changed the growth patterns of those tomatoes.
****
The disease vector is a small (3mm) crawling insect found on the third planet in a system with a yellow dwarf star (sector 4560a3). It is found in one location, near an isolated stream on the west coast of the third continent. Our scientists have determined that the life cycle is a standard parasitic insect life cycle. The adult female requires several blood meals before she lays her eggs underground. She lays about 100 eggs and dies. At seven days the eggs hatch and the juveniles continue to live underground for another two weeks. They feed upon organic matter found in the soil. After two weeks the insects pupate. The newly emerged adults then migrate to the planet's surface. They mate and the females crawl onto plants and wait for a blood meal.
The pathogen is a K24w virus. The primary host is a medium sized primate, the only vector is the aforementioned insect. The virus is passed from primate to primate by the insect. But the virus may also be passed from the female monkey to the embryo through the placenta.
The virus is apparently not harmful to the primate, but is deadly to humanoids. The disease is usually fatal within 20 days--there is massive destruction of internal organs--especially of the hepatic and renal systems...
****
Captain Janeway was restless. For two days the away-teams had been sending back glorious reports on the planet. They had found several useful plants and other food supplies and were presently restocking the ship.
She wanted to leave the ship--take the opportunity to visit the planet. There were no enemy ships anywhere around--nothing remotely hostile in the area. She had already decided she would lead an away-team tomorrow. Only two people would argue with her over her decision, but it was her right and she wasn't worried about what either Chakotay or Tuvok might say.
She had been surprised. Neither officer had offered much argument. That day the away-teams were going to be exploring an area on the large northern continent. The teams would transport to a volcanic plain, where several streams joined together, plant life was concentrated in pockets along the streams.
Her team had followed a small stream toward a series of hills. B'Elanna was interested in looking at a possible source of titanium that the sensors had detected.
B'Elanna and the rest of the team were taking samples and scanning the area. B'Elanna was disappointed, the amount of titanium wasn't as great as the preliminary scans had indicated. Janeway looked around. It was an interesting area, if she had time she would have liked to look into the evolutionary history of the area. There were isolated pockets of plants surrounded by barren rocks, odds were good that each pocket had a separate evolutionary history.
"B'Elanna, I'm going down to the creek, there's some plant life I'd like to look at." B'Elanna acknowledged the Captain's departure and noticed that Kes went with her.
"Captain, I'll come with you."
Janeway smiled. "Kes, I'd be delighted."
The plants were slightly different from the others she had seen in other areas. A sound behind them startled the pair and they turned to face the creek.
"Captain, Kes. Find anything interesting."
"No Commander, not a thing." Janeway smiled at him. "Unless you count these annoying insects. And you?"
He shook his head. "I was following a trail of some sort of primate. I'd better return to my team and warn them to stay away. Captain."
Kes smiled as she watched the two talk. Humans were sometimes very difficult to figure out.
"Let's get out of here, damn insects think I have an unlimited supply of blood," Janeway grumbled. They returned to the away-team. "B'Elanna, have everybody stay away from the creek, there's a biting insect."
"Yes, Captain."
****
After another iffy meal in the dining hall, Kathryn returned to her quarters to work on the reports she had neglected. It had been a good day. It had been nice to spend several hours breathing fresh air and being outside. She pulled up her first report, the monthly reports from the science departments. She'd read the Biology reports first. She rubbed her eyes, she was more tired than she had thought.
~~
The following morning she had a headache. She must not have drunk enough water while on the planet she decided as she finished dressing. She drank a glass of water, but didn't feel like eating anything. Her shift began in fifteen minutes, so she decided to take the long way to the bridge--sometimes a walk helped her headaches--and she would pass sick-bay and get an analgesic.
~~
By the time she entered the bridge, her head was very painful. She rubbed her eyes and sat down in her chair. The away-teams had beamed down to the planet an hour ago. Chakotay was again down on the surface. "Mr. Tuvok, I'll be in my ready-room." She would work on the reports she hadn't finished last night.
Janeway read the rest of the science reports, then turned her attention to the tactical reports. She rubbed her eyes again. The analgesic wasn't working. Her head was thundering. She couldn't continue. She stood and grabbed the edge of the desk. A wave of dizziness swept over her. After a few seconds, it passed. She would go to sick bay--she must be more dehydrated than she thought. She re-entered the bridge. "Mr. Tuvok, I'll be in sick..." She crumpled to the floor.
Ensign Harrison was closest, reached her first and took her pulse.
"Bridge to sick-bay." Mr. Tuvok calmly contacted the Doctor. "Emergency medical transport."
~~
When the Captain came to, she was lying on a bio-bed. She tried to sit up but felt so dizzy she lay down again.
"Captain, you should remain lying." The Doc looked up from the scanners.
"What happened?"
"That's what we're trying to find out. You seem to have picked up a virus. Kes is preparing an anti-viral agent." No point in telling her that it was the third one.
"How long have I been here?"
"Five hours."
"Five hours? I have work to be doing." She started to sit up, again unsuccessfully.
"Captain, I've taken you off active duty and you are officially in quarantine until we figure out what this virus is."
Kes came over--Janeway's face showed concern. "Captain, I wouldn't worry." She shook her head quickly for the Doc to see. She had still not found an anti-viral agent that would work.
"Could it be something I picked up on the planet?"
"Possibly, but no one else has reported sick. I notice that you received extensive bites. It's possible that the insect that bit you carried the virus. But Kes was also bitten and shows no sign of having been infected. Try to relax, we're still trying to isolate the virus."
~~
Several hours later, the away-teams beamed back to the ship and Chakotay went to sick bay to see how the Captain was doing. He had been notified earlier that she was ill--but had decided to remain on the planet, leaving Tuvok in charge until his return.
He was surprised to find that sick-bay was locked. He tapped his comm-badge. "Chakotay to sick-bay, what's going on?"
Kes opened the door and stepped out. "Commander."
"How's she doing." He rubbed his forehead.
Kes shook her head. "Not good. She's been in and out of consciousness all day."
He looked angry. "No one said anything. I should have been informed. Can I see her?"
"No. She's in quarantine. We have not been able to isolate the virus, and its not responding to the usual treatments." She looked at Chakotay. "Commander, how are you feeling."
"Fine, I had a splitting headache this morning--but it passed soon after I beamed down to the planet. It seems to be coming back..." Kes dragged him into sick-bay before he could finish.
"Kes?" the Doc asked.
"The insects--he was there too and he has a headache."
"Commander if you please." The Doc indicated the that Chakotay should lie on a bio-bed. He did, reluctantly and not without a little alarm.
The Doc frowned as he looked at the scans. "Please remain here." Doc motioned that Kes should come into his office. "He's got the virus too, I want you to set up and test every crewmember who has been on the planet for the virus. Emergency Medical Hologram to Lieutenant Tuvok."
"Tuvok here."
"Lieutenant, I'm placing Commander Chakotay in quarantine too. Kes will be conducting tests on all personnel who have been on the planet. We'll start with you. If you could arrange for all such personnel to meet Kes in the Medical Research Lab."
Kes started to gather the equipment she would need while the Doc went to talk to Chakotay.
"Doc, I feel fine."
"Until we know more about the virus, everybody who has it will be placed in quarantine. No matter how mild their case is." He picked up a hypospray, maybe one of the anti-viral agents would work on a milder case. "Kes is preparing to test everybody who has been on the planet. All 43 of you. Now Commander, please lie down."
~~
Three days later the Doc still had no idea on how to treat the virus and two very sick patients. Both the Captain and Commander were in quarantine and usually unconscious. At irregular intervals one or the other would regain consciousness for a few moments. Sometimes they would be lucid--usually they were delirious.
Their temperatures started to climb after day 3. They had been slightly below normal the first two days of the illness, by day five they were both around 40C.
All away-teams had been canceled--no one else had the virus, but all away-team members were being tested every 24 hours to make sure. The crew quietly did their daily assignments and would sit around and speculate what was happening during their off-duty hours.
~~
At day seven, the doctor in desperation placed his two patients in stasis. And for the next 5 days straight worked hard to find a treatment. The stasis slowed down the disease, but after those five days it was obvious something else needed to be done. There was already renal degeneration.
~~
Kes, the Doc, and Tuvok met in sick-bay to discuss what to do. They were running out of options.
"If they both were infected at the same time, why did the Captain collapse 12 hours before the Commander?" Tuvok asked.
Kes shook her head, "Different strains of the virus. He returned to the planet...Doc, could something in the planet atmosphere or on the surface inhibit the disease?"
"There are rare instances of that happening, Borelluchian plague is a good example. We can try. Kes is apparently immune to the disease. We'll beam down the two stasis chambers, Kes can set up a force field around the chambers." Doc looked at her and she nodded. "Kes will beam down when/if they stabilize and we can start organ regeneration. We might as well pick the best place to send them."
Two hours later they were beamed back to the planet.
~~
And twelve days later, the 2 patients were brought out of stasis.
****
As Captain Janeway told Tuvok that she was turning command of Voyager to him, Chakotay looked at her. He had expected her to do that--there really was no other choice. He also knew that she would order Tuvok not to contact the Vidiians--she did.
She finished communicating with their ship and he watched her sag. Neither moved for several seconds or possibly minutes. He watched her carefully. His own emotions were in turmoil--but part of him was surprised that he was not angry at what fate had thrown at them. He finally moved to stand behind her.
She was aware of his presence, but did not say anything. What was there to say. She'd gotten them into this mess, the delta quadrant, the virus...And something that frightened her more than being left on the planet. Something she'd been fighting for a long time.
"Captain." He paused. "We should look for a suitable location..."
She took another second and was back in her *Captain mode.* "I agree. It should be near water and be sheltered. There is evidence of some nasty weather patterns."
"There was a spot over that hill." He pointed. "How you doing?" His voice was full of concern.
She smiled for a brief second. "I don't feel ill." *And my ship is going to leave. How the Hell do you think I feel.* She didn't say that--but somehow realized he knew. "We should take a look at it."
It was a pretty planet--that was something she had noticed when she had first beamed down. Pretty and deadly.
Chakotay followed her over the hill. It was still early in the day. Star Fleet shelters could be put up in an hour.
"There are a lot of insects here," Janeway said. "I could set traps and try to find the one that infected us."
He agreed, but his attention was caught by a tree. A nice thick trunk, it resembled an oak, now if the wood was as good...He smiled. It had been a long time since he had done any woodworking.
****
"...Live long and prosper."
Kathryn Janeway shook her head at those words. So oddly appropriate, and yet so devastatingly final. With those words, Voyager would leave them.
They were alone.
She turned and looked at the man who stood behind her. They looked at each other for several minutes, before she turned away.
"We should get back to work." Her voice was husky and she was close to tears. She felt his hand on her shoulder and felt comforted.
"Aye Captain." He removed his hand and started back to the gray box that would be their home, and stopped. "Kathryn, would you care to go for a walk."
She nodded. "Yes, I'd like that."
They walked down to a bend in the river, where they stood overlooking the river under a willow-like tree watching the river wind its way past them. She stood very close to him, drawing comfort from his presence. With him by her side, maybe she could succeed and find the cure that would allow them to leave.
Her thoughts drifted as they continued their walk. He had in the few short days explored the area around their house--it really was a remarkable place. Life here wouldn't be awful anyway. She also noted that the insect population was pretty thick down by that gravel bed. It might be a good place to set some traps.
She turned and looked at him kneeling on the ground. "What are you looking at?"
He pointed to the ground. "It's some sort of dog-like animal. Not very big." He was looking at some paw prints in the sand. The quick glance he took at her face pleased him. She was almost smiling.
He looked back at the ground. He had known for a long time that he was attracted to her. There were times he suspected his feelings for her were reciprocated, especially these last few months. He pushed those thoughts aside. It could be extremely awkward.
She watched him. Of course she had noticed his attraction. So had Tom, Harry, and everybody else. At first she had ignored it, memories of Mark and optimism that they would get home before he forgot her. But then the optimism faded, and with it came the knowledge that the Alpha-Quadrant thought them dead. Mark would be starting a new life...And now? She needed to devote her time to her research. 'I don't have time,' she thought. Her mind returned to her research. She needed to figure out what kind of bait to use in her traps.
****
So much for Chakotay's smug quip, 'It's too rough for me.' She hadn't done so much cleaning, since her academy days. He was busy with the dishes. She was sweeping the floor with the broom he had made yesterday. She looked at the interior beige walls. Maybe a tasteful pinstripe would be better. After four days she had decided that beige was not a color she would have chosen.
The house had taken only a few hours to build--it was all the equipment, supplies, and personal effects that had been the problem. It had taken another few days to get the equipment, etc. in. The place was cramped. And they still weren't done.
They hadn't talked much since the ship had left orbit. Each was busy with their own personal thoughts and sorrows.
She stopped sweeping and looked around. Stifling an urge to scream, she swept the last of the dirt out the door. She looked at her companion--he had his back to her.
"Done," He said. "Are you up for a walk?"
"Yes. Anything." She slipped her shoes on and waited for him outside.
He handed her a phaser. "We'd better take these. One never knows."
"There doesn't seem to be much higher-animal life around. Just a lot of damn invertebrates. And a phaser isn't much good against an insect."
He shook his head, "There's plenty--they're watching us, we'll see more as they get use to us."
They stopped at the well, Chakotay checked it over. "At least B'Elanna was able to put together a pump, we have running water. Imagine carrying water up from the river."
She sort of laughed. "In winter." Then she stopped. It was only early spring. Winter--there was a sense of permanence in that thought. She banished it. She had every intention of finding a cure and leaving. But to where? She decided to concentrate on her surroundings and avoid the dark thoughts in her mind.
****
Chakotay watched the Captain, Kathryn, as she brought the last of her equipment in. By the time the replicator, research equipment, furniture, and personal items had been brought in--there hadn't been much free space left. It wouldn't be difficult to add a room or two using the abundant trees in the area--but he sensed this was not the time to propose such an idea. He wondered how long it would take her to accept this place and...And him. She was far more upset than she cared to show about what fate had thrown at them. He would give her time to adjust to their life here, and the idea of their future together. She turned and looked at him and smiled. He returned the smile. It was a start. She turned back to her equipment, trying to find a place to put things. He could remedy that too. Eventually he planned on building shelves and cupboards. But first things first.
"I'm going out now," he said.
"You still won't tell me what you're building, will you?"
"You'll find out soon enough. A few days more, unless you keep pestering me with questions."
"Pestering, I'm not pestering. I'm merely attempting to gather data."
"Is that what's it called." He laughed. The mystery of the whole thing was getting to her and made her forget, for a few minutes anyway, their realty. "I'll be back in time to make dinner. Unless you're feeling ambitious."
She laughed. "Unless I can grow bacteria on it, forget it. Agar and oatmeal are about my limits in cooking. I'll be out setting traps this afternoon." She became serious. "I'm going to try to find a specimen of whatever carries the pathogen. I'll start over in that direction." She pointed away from where he was working. Reality returned. Chakotay resisted the urge to put his arms around her, he wasn't certain how she would take that--but suspected she would react negatively. She was still the Captain and was still hurt by the simple fact she was not in control of her fate.
****
Tom Paris sat in his darkened quarters pondering his future. The Captain and Harry had been the only members of the Star Fleet crew who had trusted him--and now it was just Harry. And forget the Maquis crew, they would never trust him--just tolerate him.
Every member of the crew was still in shock, and they had left the Captain and Commander behind 9 days ago. Tuvok was an able Captain, he just wasn't as tuned in to the emotional needs of the crew as say Kes.
And then there was Harry. He seemed completely thrown by the Captain's departure. His normal countenance was gone--Harry always seemed so unflappable. He had a calming influence on people, B'Elanna and Tom especially. And yet they were the ones behaving calmly--at least outwardly.
Tom wondered what would happen, now that reality was sinking in. He'd heard the angry grumbling, the nonsense that this was Tuvok's fault, but he knew there was not much they could do. Didn't like it, but understood it. Probably most of the crew did--but that reasoning was lost in their emotions. 'Maybe there is something to this Vulcan stoicism,' he thought.
He turned his thoughts to the future. Tuvok had yet to appoint a second-in-command, and Tom knew he didn't have a chance-in-hell, Tuvok was not ready to trust him either.
"And who's fault is that?" he asked himself, his own voice startling him. 'Mine,' he continued in his head. 'Not my father's, not Star Fleet. I'm the one who screwed-up.'
He had to admit though that being able to tell his father that he was acting-first officer of Voyager had a certain appeal.
His thoughts returned to the two they'd left behind. And again wondered how it was that they were the only two to have been infected. He also wondered how long it would be before they acknowledged what almost everybody on the bridge knew.
****
He smiled as he brought the almost completed tub to their house. He would have a couple of hours to put it together before she returned. As he worked, he started to think about life here.
Over the past week or so, she had developed a routine. She woke about 0600, had a cup of coffee, then breakfast, packed a lunch, and set off ostensibly to check her insect traps and to explore. Chakotay also suspected that she also wanted to be alone. During these first couple of weeks on the planet 'New Earth' she had taken to avoiding him. Her answers to his questions were terse and vague, and he suspected that her research was not progressing very well. And if she did find a cure, they would still be stuck--even with the shuttle. Their choices were very limited. Stay on the planet or find a *friendly* civilization they could join. The shuttle was a useful piece of equipment, but it wasn't designed for a long journey.
He finished, and used his phaser to cure the sealant. It had been a while since he had worked with wood. A very long while. He was pleased that he had remembered how, and had only made a few mistakes in milling and preparing the wood.
He took his tricorder and quickly scanned the area. The area was rich in wildlife. He'd seen some of them. He had noticed the animals were curious but cautious--they'd had previous experience with humanoids, and there were no humanoids native to the planet. But there were primates. He had detected them several times--but had yet to see one.
Kathryn was still too far away to be detected--she should be returning within the hour. Just enough time to heat the water and fill the tub. He hoped this would improve her outlook on their situation. Or at least make it tolerable.
He threw a tarp over the tub and returned to the house to work on dinner. He had found a new berry earlier in the day and some mushrooms.
~~
Kathryn was tired. She had collected ten new kinds of insects but none of them carried the pathogen. She had carefully placed each specimen in a jar and labeled where she found it, dated it and everything else one was suppose to do. She knew full well that research was usually frustrating and time consuming, but this seemed worse than usual. She kicked at stone, it went sailing into some bushes and two very angry birds flew out. "I'm sorry," she said to them. She stood and watched them forget about her and return to their home.
She looked up, her home was flying away at warp 6. Kathryn shook her head, she wondered how long she had considered Voyager home.
As she approached their house, she noticed a rather delightful aroma in the air. They were still experimenting with the native foods: the tubers Chakotay had found four days ago had been placed on the avoid list--too much like leola roots. But tonight it smelled like something good.
She saw the tarp covering something and wondered what it was. She looked, but her sense of honor wouldn't let her peek. It was probably for her--why else would it be covered and with a building sense of excitement she went inside.
"Hello."
"Hello, dinner will be ready in a couple of minutes."
"How do you know when to have dinner ready?" She really wanted to ask him what was outside and suspected he probably wanted her to ask about it.
"Tricorder. So how was your day?"
"The usual. What are you making, it smells wonderful."
He grinned. "Thank-you." She must have seen that there was something outside.
"So what did you do all day," she asked as she went to wash her hands.
"I worked on some projects."
"Is that one outside?" She tried to sound disinterested. But she did start to smile.
"It's a little something I made. Care to see it?"
"After dinner maybe. I'm hungry."
"If you insist, Captain." His voice was anything but serious.
She openly smiled, and Chakotay smiled back.
She moved away, all of a sudden she felt very uncomfortable. She turned and looked at the table.
He turned back to his cooking. "Dinner's ready. We can eat outside, if you like."
"Why not--it's nice out. The bugs around here seem to disappear at sunset." She frowned at the thought of bugs. "I haven't found the right insect yet," she admitted.
"I sort of suspected that." He grabbed their plates. "Come on." They went and sat by the *package.*
He realized she was dying to know what it was, but refused to allow him the satisfaction. Well he could be patient too.
When Kathryn finished, she sat down her plate, and smiled at him. "Well?"
"Well. Oh, you mean this." He tapped the tarp. "Go ahead." He stepped away and watched her.
She first carefully examined it. "It's warm."
"It's suppose to be. Go ahead." He wanted her to uncover it now.
She pulled the covering off and stopped. It was wonderful and, and...
"A bathtub, it's wonderful." She spoke very quietly, without looking at the builder. She could feel his eyes on her. "I don't know what to say. Chakotay, I...Thank-you." She looked at him, but very carefully avoided his eyes.
"You're welcome, Kathryn."
****
There was no doubt the planet was beautiful and bountiful: they found a new food source on almost every walk. She started gathering berries, fruits, and other things as she set and checked her insect traps. After being there three weeks she had found several *favorite* sites. There was a pool, where a rock slide had dammed a small creek. The bend in the river. There was a small glen in the woods--where she had seen her first larger animal. The fox-like animal had been wary, but had come within three feet of her, before she had laughed and it had run-off.
Her insect traps were not successful--she had trapped hundreds of insects and other small creatures, but none carried the pathogen. She was cataloging her specimens and would probably start classifying them during the winter. 'If we're still here,' she added quickly.
****
She hated cooking, and it was only with a little bit of guilt she had let Chakotay handle that part of life here. For the most part they were living off the land. He had built a larder soon after he had built her tub. They were stockpiling supplies to last through the winter. There was a berry that was currently in season that might become her favorite food on the planet. And several plants that made a lovely salad.
The days were getting warmer and she figured she could start a garden soon. What a thought--she had what was commonly called a *purple-thumb.* Plants had a tendency to die under her care. She could grow bacteria cultures quite successfully, but plants were beyond her.
The traps were still unproductive. She figured she had over two hundred specimens and not one had tested positive for the pathogen. She was now trying different baits. This morning's had blood proteins in it.
Instead of returning to the house, she decided to wander over to a small hill a kilometer away. Settling under a tree, she watched a pair of birds building their nest. Behind her were the woods, and the house. In front, she could see the river wind its way into the distance. Voyager had left them maps. Topographical and vegetation maps mostly, for the entire planet. They had the shuttle and could travel anywhere on the planet. But so far neither had been willing to or had the time to do that. There was a ridge of mountains in the distance. It might be kind of fun during the winter, to go play in the snow.
Where they were received a lot of rain, but probably little snow. 'A Mediterranean type climate,' someone from geology had said. 'Most of the rain fell in winter and it wasn't particularly cold or hot.' This and the abundance of food had been why this site had been selected. She knew there was an ocean about 100 kilometers the other direction. Another place to visit.
Her stomach rumbled, and she realized it must be close to lunch. She started the trip back to the house, wondering about changing the glucose base in her traps.
****
Tuvok sat in the ready room. If he hadn't been a Vulcan, he would have felt uncomfortable here.
He dimmed the lights and started to meditate. He knew the crew wanted him to contact the Vidiians. But as he had pointed out, he was responsible for the safety of the crew and ship, and the Vidiians were not likely to help.
Despite Ensign Kim's outburst, Tuvok had been impressed. Now if the young ensign could control his emotions. Kim had an idea that held merit. To use an extraction of Lieutenant Torres' Klingon DNA in exchange for a serum. There was no certainty that the Vidiians even had a cure.
Emotions. Vulcans had learned to control theirs, but he was captain of a ship of mostly humans. After 6 weeks, their emotions about leaving the Captain and Commander behind were still very much evident. And would be for some time. If this had been a ship crewed by Vulcans...
But it wasn't. Logically, he had to deal with the crew's emotions. If they contacted the Vidiians, they would have to be prepared for a trap. "Lights," he called out. He took a data padd and started to read the tactical reports on the Vidiians. He was interrupted by the chimes. "Enter." It was Kes.
****
Chakotay looked around muttering something under his breath, as he went to check the shuttle. Kathryn didn't recognize the words, but she recognized the sentiments. She was close to saying a few choice words herself. Especially after she had looked at her equipment. Her insect traps were damaged beyond repair. Everything that had been outside, had been damaged.
She had stared at a broken trap, wanting to cry, to throw it hard, and laugh. Without the traps she wouldn't be able to collect insects.
Yes she could.
Yet she had said 'that was one way of giving up.' Why had she said that--it would be easy to make new traps--not as efficient maybe...
For six weeks she had worked to find a cure. What if she did? There was no way to catch up with Voyager. For better or worse, this was their home now.
She looked around. "Kathryn," she said out loud. "There's a whole planet here--there's more than enough research to keep you busy for the rest of your life."
That left one thing to resolve. She wouldn't be able to hide, ignore, or push away her feelings too much longer. For six weeks she had carefully ignored his looks and words whenever they became too personal. She'd been doing the same thing on the ship. She pushed those thoughts out of her mind. And looked around. Cataloging the plant and animal life would be a start. She already had an extensive collection of insects, she could start there. They were developing a collection of edible plants and were learning to recognize the ones to avoid.
Animals--well there was that primate, he couldn't be the only one, a number of birds, some canines.
Well, if they were going to remain here, maybe she would find herself a pet. Not the monkey, perhaps the planet's equivalent of a dog or cat perhaps. But that wouldn't be for a while.
She started to pile the broken equipment.
~~
Chakotay stopped at the backside of the *house,* it might be an ugly metal box, but Star Fleet had gotten their money's worth. He could only see a few things that needed repairing. The plasma storm had not been very big--where the shuttle had been secured there was no damage what-so-ever. But they would need to find a better way of securing it.
He rounded the corner and stood several seconds watching Kathryn work. She was humming to herself. He smiled. Maybe *giving up* was not as difficult as she seemed to have thought.
Kathryn looked up and smiled at him. Neither moved as they stared at each other.
Finally she broke the eye contact and asked, "The shuttle?"
"It's fine."
"Good." She went back to work and tried to ignore him.
****
Kathryn lay in her bed. She could hear the birds outside, and see the faint color of the sunrise. At best she had slept an hour.
~~
It had started with a backrub. His hands on her shoulders, his head close to hers, the mood had shifted and she could no longer ignore her feelings. She had come so close to...
Instead she had lain down and thought.
~~
Kathryn Janeway started to smile. She had said 'we need to define parameters...' Define parameters...What an absolutely ghastly turn of phrase. He hadn't laughed, in his quiet way he had told her he loved her. He had wrapped it up in another story giving her the option to 'miss' the meaning. She hadn't wanted to.
They'd spent most of the night with their hands entwined gazing at each other. Not that long ago, he had finally broken the contact, and gone outside.
It was time to get up. She wasn't tired, but she realized she wouldn't get much done today. She'd get a few things done around the house, then take her padd and insect notes to the river and spend a quiet afternoon working on that. She'd probably take a nap mid-afternoon.
Chakotay was no where around. They had stopped wearing their comm-badges soon after Voyager had left--so she had no way of contacting him.
She wondered briefly how Voyager was doing. She had complete confidence in Tuvok and her crew. It can't be easy for them either, she thought.
They were minimizing the use of the replicator, so she went without coffee again. Maybe they could take the shuttle and look for a substitute.
After eating breakfast, she went outside. It was definitely warmer in the morning. Their first day on the planet had been cold. Spring was here. She laughed at her next thought. "Me gardening." But she looked around. The clearing in front of the door would be ideal. And they had seeds from the ship. No coffee or chocolate trees, but tomatoes, beans, etc. She might try transplanting a few native plants too. She had her eye on vine down by the river that was just starting to bloom.
~~
She liked the river. It was another area of potential study and exploration. It was also pretty. She liked to come and sit by the large willow-like tree where the river formed a S curve. She took her padd and started working on her notes--for 2 words, before her mind wandered back to the previous night.
"So, what are you working on?" She heard him ask through the haze of her daydream. She suppressed a smile.
"My notes on my insect collection."
He smiled. "You look like you're hard at work." His grin grew, when she blushed and turned away. "Mind if I join you. I won't disturb you." He sat down beside her. "So which insect are you working on, the big yellow one with knobby thingies on it's head." He was laughing.
"That's antennae." She jabbed him in the ribs. "If this is your idea of help." She started laughing too.
"I didn't say I would help. Just not disturb you."
"Trust me, you're disturbing."
"Good. Actually, since I didn't get much sleep last night, if you don't mind, I'll try to get some sleep. Go ahead and keep working." His grinned at her wickedly.
"Well I wouldn't want to disturb you, maybe I should move?" She tried to keep a straight face.
He took her hand. "No, stay."
The mood shifted from playful banter, as his eyes looked into hers. She leaned over and their lips met. She smiled and laid her head on his shoulder and very soon both were sound asleep.
****
Kathryn looked through the collection of seeds Neelix and Kes had given them. 'Tomatoes, peas, carrots...' She had planted a bunch of tomato seeds a few weeks earlier--they were growing very nicely in the corner of the house.
She and Chakotay had spent the past two days working on preparing the garden. They had been supplied with various gardening tools. After two days of preparing the soil by hand, her hands were sore, her back ached, and she had a headache. She had purposefully turned off all the lights. She was reading the seed packets by the afternoon sunlight that filtered in through the few windows in their house.
Her head wasn't feeling any better, so she gave up reading the packets, and definitely gave up on thinking. She finished her glass of water and climbed into her bed.
About half an hour later she woke--or rather something woke her. There it was again. She got up, her head was a little better, and went outside.
The delicate deer-like animal looked at her in surprise as it stood up and shook itself off. Kathryn had to laugh. Their well prepared garden was being used as a dust bath. The animal was new to her, so she made some mental notes about its characteristics to enter into her database as soon as she re-entered the house. The animal, with a great deal of dignity, walked off. They would have to fence the garden--lest every wild animal in the area decided to come eat.
She watched it until it disappeared into the forest.
"Height one meter, color beige, no make that tan, with a cream belly, four legs, cloven feet, length one meter." She entered the data into her padd.
"How's your head?" She nearly jumped, she hadn't heard him come in.
"Sore, where've you been?"
"About, we have some new neighbors."
"The deer-like animal. We've met."
"I passed a small herd down by the river. I suppose I'll have to build a fence."
"Probably." As his hands started to massage her shoulders she leaned back and smiled.
****
The Doc had spent two weeks analyzing the serum Dr. Pel had given them. It had been good to see her again--he hoped she was OK and would not get in trouble for her act of kindness.
The serum was going to need some modification before it would be compatible with human physiology. Not a difficult process, but time consuming. Fortunately she had sent a large supply--just no instructions, was it to be injected, drunk...
He looked at the biochemical analysis, an interesting combination of biochemicals. There were several toxins--he still needed more information on how the serum worked against the virus. Were those toxins necessary--if they were, he would need to carefully monitor the patients.
~~
Neelix looked at Kes and smiled. It was surprising what two weeks could do to the morale of the crew. Voyager may have been traveling the wrong direction--away from the Alpha-quadrant--but the crew was in much better spirits anyway. They were talking in the dining hall again. There wasn't the feeling of quiet conspiracy that had pervaded the ship for six weeks.
****
Kathryn smiled as she looked at the 9cm tomato seedlings she had just finished transplanting. As she stood there, it finally started to rain. "Well, at least I won't need to water them," she muttered. It was probably too many tomatoes--but she fully expected to lose a few. She stepped back and activated the sonic fence. She laughed as the rain started to fall harder--in the distance she could hear the rumbling of thunder. She turned and looked at Chakotay, standing behind her. He was also laughing.
"You never struck me as the type who likes to stand in the rain."
"There's a lot you don't know." She blushed at the hidden implication of that sentence. His grin told her he had also seen the double meaning. She suddenly felt very uncomfortable standing there, but she couldn't bring herself to move. She looked back up at his face, his warm-dark eyes held hers. She smiled quickly and looked away, very aware that every emotion she had just seen in his face was mirrored in hers. As his hand brushed down her cheek and then her throat, she closed her eyes briefly. She felt him step closer to her.
There was a brief moment of uncertainty as she remembered he was her First Officer...But Voyager was far away and getting further.
She opened her eyes and looked at him. Even if Voyager was still part of their lives she would do this. She smiled and swiftly found herself wrapped in his arms, his lips brushed her forehead and gently found hers. She pulled her head back and looked at him, his eyes were warm and passionate. She traced the pattern of his tattoo with her finger, and they kissed again. This time with an intensity that surprised her. She felt his hands move across her, and let her hands do the same to him.
The rain started to fall harder, the large drops showed every inclination of turning to hail.
Somehow, he managed to mutter that they should move indoors. He swept her up in his arms and carried her in.
****
Kathryn stood next to Chakotay, his arms wrapped around her. They had risen early so they could walk to the river to watch the sunrise. The first hints of the red flicked the distant sky. They stood silently watching the sky lighten, the last clouds from yesterday's storm adding to the color display.
"We should explore the river. It might be a nice hike to go further upstream--or even down." Kathryn smiled at him.
He laughed gently. "I think it's more than a hike."
"So, I might be willing to go on a short camping trip." She smiled wickedly. "Under certain conditions anyway."
"I'm not lugging your bathtub." She playfully jabbed him in the ribs, before she started laughing. Chakotay just stood there, enjoying the sound of her laughter.
****
Voyager's crew was elated, they would be arriving within communication range of the planet in 48 hours. People actually smiled at each other, and talked about things besides recent events.
Neelix was delighted. Crew morale was soaring. Now if the medicine worked and the virus destroyed. He wasn't positive, but Kes seemed to be unsure about the effectiveness of the medicine. She seemed to be reluctant to talk about the whole thing. Well, he had faith in the Doc.
Actually Kes was positive the medicine would work. She was worried about other things. She had noticed during the past 2 years the growing attraction between the Captain and Commander. As her telepathic powers improved, she had become aware that the attraction had been deepening. She was of the opinion that on board Voyager, the Captain wouldn't have allowed anything to happen. But after four months alone. She wondered how much had changed, then chastised herself for not minding her own business.
****
When the fourth person in five minutes offered Harry their congratulations, he left the dining hall without finishing dinner.
He was not responsible for their returning. If anything he fully expected Tuvok to file charges against him. His behavior had been unprofessional, and inappropriate for a member of the senior staff.
He returned to his quarters and sat at his desk. He wished he could explain his behavior logically--causing a near mutiny was hard to explain. It hadn't only been him, but that didn't make it better. He should have been a calming influence, not the catalyst.
****
Kathryn studied the map of the planet. She'd had no luck finding the insect--even though she had changed the focus of her research, she still was driven to find that insect.
What did she remember about that bloody insect. It was flightless, it sucked a lot of blood, and she knew it existed on this planet. She looked at the quadrant where she had beamed in some 4 months ago. It was a plateau, volcanic, with pockets of vegetation.
*Hawaii.*
She remembered from a micro-evolution seminar she had attended some years ago about the hundreds of species of fruit flies on Hawaii. The volcanic flows isolated a population and they diversified until they were a--or sometimes even more than one--new species. And in a few cases even a new genera or two. Micro-evolution wasn't isolated to Hawaii or even Earth. What if it happened here too. It would explain why she hadn't found the insect, it wasn't here. It was 3000 miles north.
They could take the shuttle: as long as they flew within the lower atmosphere, the affects of the virus should be kept in check. Anyway they really should take the shuttle out every so often to make sure it still worked.
She rubbed the back of her head. Why hadn't she thought of this earlier. Their first 6 weeks on the planet had involved setting things up and exploring their new home. She had set traps--but hadn't really had time to think. And afterwards...There had been other distractions and her research had changed. She smiled at *other distractions.*
She could leave her garden for a couple of days. Talaxian tomatoes were either very fast growing or their metabolism was faster on New Earth. Neelix's instructions weren't that specific. She had just transplanted them a few weeks ago, and they were already doubled in size.
She again looked at her map. The small herd of deer that were presently in the area were apparently migrating up from the south. A small pack of canines had also moved into the area. She hadn't noticed any young, but the thought of a pet appealed to her. Maybe after their trip she would look a little more into that. Funny, she had no idea what Chakotay thought about pets.
****
B'Elanna watched Harry leave the dining hall. Poor kid, she thought. It was obvious that he was still feeling guilty about his behavior on the bridge. It had worked out in the end, but he was Star Fleet through and through.
She was startled to hear Tom's voice beside her. "Mind if I join you?" He asked. There wasn't much choice, the place was crowded.
"Tom."
He sat down. "So how's life in the bowels of the ship?"
"Without those bowels the Kazon would have had us for breakfast. Hot, busy, but a much more pleasant place to be since we turned around."
Tom laughed. "The atmosphere's better all over the ship. People actually showed up for last night's pool tournament."
"What's the prize this time?"
"To be the first to challenge the Captain. She's not had much practice. It may be the only time anybody will have a chance to beat her. I'm looking forward to it. In fact I've already posted my challenge to her terminal."
"You may have to wait a while. She's going to have four months of catching up. Well, I've got to get going. Engineering staff meeting. See you around."
****
Kathryn stopped to look at her garden before entering the house. She would have to weed it before they took their shuttle trip. She had spent the day looking at some of the grasses in the meadow. She was trying to find a grain--something that could be domesticated and used for flour.
"Hello," she announced.
"Hello, find anything?"
"A few possibilities." She grabbed a mushroom out of the pan before he could stop her. "Not bad. When's dinner, I'm hungry."
He smiled. "About five minutes--I hope you plan to leave some for me." He added as she snatched another mushroom.
She just laughed as she entered her cubicle.
Contrary to everything they had been through and her own ambitions, she was actually happy here. This surprised her every time she thought of their situation. The reason wasn't--he was in the other room. She did sometimes wonder if she really would have become involved on Voyager, and how the crew would have re-acted. She tried to avoid thinking about Voyager and the Alpha Quadrant, so she pushed those thoughts out of her mind, and returned to thinking about two weeks ago when they had finally spent the night together. Since then they'd spent every night sharing stories and each other.
Neither were willing to talk about their pasts that had brought them together. She felt a little guilty about Mark. It seemed unfair to not be able to tell him in person there was someone else. Probably there was someone else for him too.
She was thinking of the past again. She shook her head and started cleaning up after a day in meadow. She was already itching. While she preferred her tub, a sonic shower was better at removing the allergens. She stepped into their shared bathroom.
~~
She woke when the first light entered the house. She was usually the first one to wake up. This morning she didn't feel like getting up, but still she untangled herself from his arms. He watched her, and soon afterwards joined her in the other room.
"Leftovers for breakfast, I'm afraid. The mushrooms won't last until dinner." He pulled them out and started to reheat them.
"That and a cup of coffee. What are you planning to do today?"
"I'm working on something."
Not again, she groaned to herself. She very calmly replicated a cup of coffee and sat down at the table. "When you finish, you can help me weed the garden. I think we'll have fresh peas in a week."
He laughed. He knew how much not knowing what he was doing frustrated her. She was getting better about not letting her curiosity show. "Then I thought I'd check out the shuttle. Then maybe I'll help in the garden." He handed her a dish of mushrooms and sat down with his.
When they had finished eating and cleaning, she took her cup with the last of her morning's ration of coffee and went outside.
Bending over didn't appeal to her so she kneeled to pull the few weeds. She carefully examined each plant. There was some insect damage to the beans, but the other crops were doing fine. Even the tomatoes. She had fully expected to lose some of the plants, but every single one had so far survive. What were they going to do with all those tomatoes. She moved to one of the tomato plants near the edge. She kneeled to look at it closely...
Chakotay sat at the terminal finishing his plans for a boat. They had talked about exploring the river and a boat would make such an expedition easier. He would start it after they returned from their shuttle trip.
'Well,' he thought. 'It was time to tell her.' He grinned...
~~
The shuttle trip and the boat were destined to remain a dream.
****
Voyager was returning. She looked at him, surprise, shock, possibly a touch of sadness in her eyes. Part of her wanted to cheer, to dance, and part wanted to cry. And what would happen to them. She needed time to think, she turned away from him and moved to her room.
Chakotay watched her leave the room and wondered. He wondered how Voyager had gotten the serum, but mostly he wondered how this would affect them. He knew she was thinking the same thing.
There was a lot to do, he forced his mind to think of another problem. He might as well start with gathering and packing the supplies and equipment outside. He looked at her room. She would let him know when she was ready to talk.
~~
The day went by quickly, he had finished gathering most of the equipment that was outside earlier, but had been reluctant to enter the house, so had spent the latter half wandering along the trails and visiting now familiar haunts. The sun had set when he returned.
It was obvious she had spent the day packing lab equipment, but she wasn't here. He figured he knew where she was. He stopped to look at her garden. For someone who claimed to hate gardening, she had expended a lot of energy caring for it. It was such a waste, now they would be leaving before they had a chance to sample any of the harvest.
Sure enough, he found her at the bend in the river. She didn't turn when she heard him approach. "It'll be good to back on Voyager."
She was silent for a few moments, then replied, "It would have been nice to have taken that boat trip." She turned and held out her hand. He took it, and they silently walked back to their home.
****
The next evening Voyager entered a standard orbit around the planet. Kathryn nervously awaited Kes' appearance. The young Ocampan woman would be beaming down with the serum and to examine the two patients. It had been decided, that until it was known if the serum would work, that the Captain and Commander would remain on the planet to prevent any chance of a relapse.
"I'm beaming down now." Kes's voice said over the comm-badge.
Kathryn looked at Chakotay. They hadn't talked yet. Both seemed to be putting it off, and both were aware of that.
Kes appeared by the garden. "Captain, Commander." She said excitedly. "It's wonderful to see you again." In her excitement she hugged both of them.
"Kes, it's good to see you too," Chakotay said with a partial grin.
Kes pulled back, something wasn't quite right. "I brought the serum." She picked-up a case that had been beamed down with her. "I need to examine you both and run a few tests." She smiled--she sensed the turmoil between them, and made a fairly accurate guess what was the cause. "Who's first?" she asked with a laugh. "You've done quite a job here, Neelix will be delighted that your garden was so successful." She said as they entered the house.
Captain Janeway sat on the table and Kes quietly ran the scans and tests. Then she did the same for Commander Chakotay. "You're both in excellent health. The virus has not increased." She took a hypospray and injected both of them. "The serum contains a number of chemicals toxic to humans. We've diluted them, but they are necessary to fight the virus. We'll need to monitor you carefully for the next couple of days. Should you feel ill, dizzy, or nauseous please contact the Doc." She didn't notice the flitting look of alarm on her two patients faces as she packed her equipment. "I'll beam down again tomorrow. Captain, is there anything you would like me to bring back with me?"
"Yes, have Tuvok send us the monthly reports from the last four months. We have a lot of catching up to do."
"Yes Captain. The crew is delighted that you will be returning to us."
"Kes?" Chakotay asked.
"Yes?"
"How did you get the serum?"
"From the Vidiians. I know it was against your orders Captain. But...Dr. Pel gave it to us during our battle with them. I'd better be beaming back. Good-night." She tapped her comm-badge. "One to beam up." And was gone.
Kathryn looked at him. "Are you surprised Kathryn?"
"That despite my orders, Tuvok contacted the Vidiians." She shook her head. "My orders became null after he took command." She stepped to the door. "Oh, lord, Chakotay what are we going to do?"
"Return to Voyager, re-assume our positions, relearn the routine, and see if it's possible to combine our command relationship with our personal lives."
"It'll take time."
"I know. But I don't think it will take that long." He put his arms around, but she shrugged him off.
"We're being monitored, remember?"
He grinned. "It'll give the Doctor something to worry about."
She frowned. "He'd send Kes down to find out what was wrong, and the whole crew would know within fifteen minutes."
For the first time since the rainstorm, they slept apart.
~~
The next afternoon Kes beamed down again, bringing the reports with her. She was delighted with their progress and thought they would probably be able to return the ship in 48 hours.
They both spent the afternoon and the next day reading the reports. Paris's personal report of the battle with the Vidiians was far more interesting than Tuvok's dry rundown. Chakotay thought Tom might make a decent author; but when he said that to Kathryn, she just frowned and continued to read.
****
Their last full day had passed and she had avoided talking to him for most of it. A few words now and then, usually involving some sort of instruction on packing.
Chakotay had agreed with her on cooling their relationship for a while when they returned. He was concerned that after reading the reports, she would stop it completely.
He moved to take her in his arms, but she stepped away.
"Kathryn, don't do this."
"You've read the reports. How do you think the crew would feel if they found out what we were doing down here. They risked their lives for us." She was close to tears, and that only made her angrier.
He didn't say the obvious. The crew had been watching them for so long, they wouldn't be surprised. But when she got in this mood, it was better not to continue.
He backed off, leaving her lost in her own conflicting thoughts and desires.
Suddenly she just needed to be somewhere else, somewhere by herself away from everything to think. She wandered down a familiar path in the half light of the sunset, not really noticing the world around her. She sat by the river and started to cry, quietly. *Why must everything be so complicated.*
She loved him. *Would it be so wrong to...* That realization forced her to start thinking about tomorrow. *Can we go back to being just Captain and Commander? Do I want to? *
The answer was no, she wanted more. But considering everything, could they?
She didn't know how long she sat there by the river, but when she came back to reality it was very dark. The little moon that circled New Earth hardly reflected any light. She should return to the house. But she didn't move.
There were footsteps behind her. She stiffened.
"Captain."
She was surprised by the use of her rank, it had been so long. It seemed wrong. She knew they must return to their formal world, but not here, not now.
"Chakotay." she startled herself with the intensity and longing in her voice. She must have startled him. He knelt beside her.
"Kathryn, are you all right." His voice was very shaky, and revealed everything he felt.
She turned and looked at him. *No, I am not all right.* They were so close. She felt an intense desire for him and reached over to touch his face. The touch was electrifying.
They would be returning to their ship in hours. They had that last night before another life began.
Their lips met. He pulled her close and they lay on the grass. His hands started to caress her and she moved her hands along his body to follow suit. He paused briefly when he came to the buttons of her dress...
~~
The Doc finished his medical log and turned back to the console. "Hmm."
"Something the matter?" Kes asked with concern.
"No." He turned off the bio-monitors.
****
The uniform felt uncomfortable and unfamiliar. She had grown use to the loose fit of civilian clothes--she had become use to a whole different lifestyle.
She looked at her garden, the tomato plants that were about to bloom, the peas that would be ready to eat soon.
Chakotay exited the house carrying the last of their baggage. It would be beamed up after them. Tom had already beamed down to bring the shuttle back to the ship. Even though she was convinced that the insect, and the virus, were not found here, Tom had beamed directly to the craft and not set foot on the planet.
"Ready," Chakotay asked. She nodded, but was distracted by the sound of that monkey.
"There you are. At least I get to say good-bye," she said. She held out her hand. "Feel free to use the house." The house was designed to be put together quickly, but not torn apart. She looked at Chakotay. In seconds what had happened in the past 4 months would be a memory, they were returning to a world where they had to shut their feelings off, to be nothing more than friends. Despite everything.
"Janeway to Voyager, two to beam up."
The transporter room was crowded. Paris shook both their hands, as did most of the people waiting. Tuvok watched from the back and only approached after the exuberance of the welcome subsided. "Welcome back, Captain, Commander."
"Thank you, Tuvok. Thank you everybody." She looked around at the familiar faces, carefully avoiding one.
Tuvok noted her reticence. And the Commander's. Protocol said that such a relationship was not allowed. But then protocol had not been designed for a ship 70 years from home.
The Captain spoke, "We appreciate the welcome, but Doc wanted us to report to sick-bay as soon as we were back aboard. So, unless someone reprogramed his personality, we'd better get going."
They laughed. The Doc's biting sarcasm could be daunting if he wasn't obeyed promptly.
Neelix and Kes accompanied them to sick bay. Neelix was explaining how the crew's morale had improved, thinking he was improving the Captain's morale. But with each word he spoke about how glad the crew was to glad have them back, her hopes sank. The crew would never understand...
Kes finally convinced Neelix that he had to start dinner, and the Captain and Commander finished their trip to sick-bay alone.
"Welcome back," the Doc said as they entered. He quickly scanned both of them. "The virus has been eliminated. I'd like to continue treatment for the next couple of days to make sure. I don't think we'll need to continue your monitor your vital signs though."
Both of them looked at the Doc quickly, but he continued speaking--ignoring the momentary look of discomfort on both their faces (but secretly enjoying it none-the-less). "It seems that the sensors were accidently turned off last night. No one noticed until this morning, so my report is woefully incomplete. But it looks like the serum has minimal affect on Human physiology."
He noted her sigh of relief. "A clean-bill of health. I see no reason why either of you can't return to duty tomorrow."
"Thank you doctor," Chakotay said. He left the room before she had stood up.
****
Kathryn looked around her empty quarters and the boxes. She would be putting her quarters back together, possibly rearranging the set-up. She opened the first box. Her small knick-knacks and other personal items. Most of which she had never unpacked back on New Earth. Too many memories of her past.
The first thing she removed was the photograph of Mark and her dog. She had known him most of her life, but after two years he would have gotten on with his life, even her dog probably had forgotten who she was. He would always be her friend, and she had pleasant memories of their time together.
She repacked the picture.
Everything she did that evening reminded her of incidents on the planet, putting the small colorful rocks collected from the river into a container, unpacking her clothes...Her insect collection. She initially wasn't even going to open the collection. Maybe someday she would continue her classification. But as she pushed the container to one side, she stopped, opened it and pulled out a carefully mounted large-yellow insect. She placed it on her table.
****
Both the Captain and First Officer, by sheer chance, arrived at the lift at the same time. It was very uncomfortable for both of them. They were very aware of the other only being a meter away, and their own overwhelming urge to tell the lift to stop. The ride may have been short, but by the time they had arrived at the bridge both were having to work very hard to ignore the other.
The bridge crew stood as they entered, a show of respect that she appreciated.
"Welcome back Captain, Commander," Tuvok said.
"The Doctor tells me you contacted the Vidiians after all," she replied. Curious to know what his reasoning had been.
"I disobeyed your order, Captain. I am prepared to accept the consequences." Pretty much the response she had expected.
"If I didn't know you better, I'd say your decision was almost emotional. She turned turned toward the view screen. "Thank you all. Well, we've lost time with all this, let's see if we can make some of it up. Mr. Paris, warp eight." Without looking at her 2nd in command she continued with the series of instructions. "Commander, we'll need to review ship's systems. I'll handle propulsion, environmental, and communication. You'll be responsible for sensors, weapons, and transport.
He also avoided looking at her. "Aye Captain. I'll have a report to you by 1800 hours." He started to pull the information up on his console. He figured he would use the reports as an excuse to leave the bridge.
She continued. "Check with phaser maintence, see if they fixed the problem with the pre-fire chamber temperature."
"Yes ma'm, I'll see to it." He didn't look at her as he said that, but he could feel her wince. He hadn't been watching her, but the almost monotonic voice of command she was using probably was more of give-away than she would want to admit. He looked at Tom's back. If anybody would notice, it would be him. And Chakotay was convinced that he had.
Tom had. He had noticed it in the transporter room yesterday, and today her tone was different. He might have been willing to put the change in tone down to 4 months away from the ship, but then Chakotay had called her ma'm. Tom was convinced it had been deliberate. He smiled to himself and went back to monitoring the navigation information, wondering how long it would be before one or both found an excuse to leave the bridge.
It wasn't long.
"Captain, permission to work on the reports in my office."
She almost sighed with relief. "Permission granted." She forced herself not to look in his direction. A few minutes later she stood. "Mr. Tuvok, you have the bridge, I'll be in my ready room."
"Aye, Captain."
****
She should have done all the reports herself, then she wouldn't be about to meet him alone in her ready room in just minutes. He would be on time, he always was.
She jumped when the chimes rang. "Enter." She forced herself to remain sitting.
"Captain, I've finished the reports. Phaser maintence fixed the problems with the pre-fire chamber months ago. I have that report as well as the others." He spoke quickly and placed the data padd on her desk.
"Very good Commander. Here are my reports," she slid her data padd over. He picked it up, and quickly glanced at her, she looked tired and unhappy. He wondered how well she had slept last night. Before he could look away, she glanced up at him and their eyes locked. He quickly wondered what would happen if he said her name, but instead said, "Good night Captain." He left without waiting for her reply.
Kathryn watched him leave. She had known this was going to be difficult, right now it seemed impossible. Her hand unconsciously brushed her desk as she wondered what it would be like to make love with him in her ready room. "Stop it," she said aloud. "The bridge is the last place we could ever do something like..." Her voice trailed off as her thoughts started to wander back to New Earth.
****
After the meeting in the ready room, Captain Janeway decided that they had to avoid being together. She took to eating meals in her ready room or in her quarters. After senior staff meetings , she would be one of first to return to the bridge or she would go to her ready room.
It hadn't taken him long to realize what she was doing. He was aware that the bridge crew were very curious about what was happening between them, but also knew that no one would ask. As if either of them would admit to anything. He also knew the rumor mill was extremely active.
She needed time to adjust to being back in command, but at some point they would have to talk. There was no way their command relationship could survive this.
****
Janeway was restless, she hadn't been sleeping well since their return to Voyager. Part of it was nerves--she was still adjusting to being back in command. But she also knew that a large part of it was she was trying to hide what had become an important part of her life, from the crew, from him, and from herself.
She had been aware of the looks the crew gave her as she passed. She was going to have to work harder to keep her feelings from showing. The looks were mostly curious, mixed with some 'what is going on' glances. She was close to reassigning Tom Paris to another shift. His knowing smiles were too much. Even Tuvok seemed suspicious.
She finally gave up trying to go to sleep, and grabbed the dullest report she could think of--'The Phase Shift Shield-Modulator Analysis.' This would be the second time she had used it to get to sleep in the past three days.
****
The dining hall was noisy, Tom noted as he entered. He smiled. Morale had certainly skyrocketed with the return of the Captain and Commander.
After selecting the least unappetizing of Neelix's creations, Tom went and sat with Harry and B'Elanna.
"Evening Tom," B'Elanna greeted him. Even B'Elanna was in a better mood than she had been the past four months.
"Evening B'Elanna, Harry. What is this?" He poked at his dinner, before tentatively taking a bite.
"I haven't a clue," Harry replied. "I find it better not to ask too many questions. You know, it's great to see the crew happy again. These past four months were the worst we've been through."
The other two nodded.
"But there's something wrong." Harry continued.
Tom and B'Elanna looked at him. Tom was aware of the *wrongness* too, and wondered how Harry interpreted it. He noticed that B'Elanna also seemed to have recognized that fact.
Tom chuckled. "I see we've all noticed."
****
Kathryn was curled up on her couch reading. For the first time in the nearly two weeks since their return to the ship she was reading something besides a report. Except she wasn't reading the book, just staring at it.
Her chimes rang.
'Who could that be at this hour,' she wondered as she tightened her coral robe around her. "Enter."
Kes entered and looked around. "I hope I'm not disturbing you Captain?" she asked apologetically.
"Not at all. How can I help you?"
Kes smiled. "Captain, I've been meaning to talk to you about...Well." This was not going well. How does one bring up the Captain's personal life gracefully, she wondered.
Janeway looked at her curiously. She had a pretty good idea what Kes was about to talk about. Not much embarrassed the Ocampan.
"Since your return to Voyager, everybody has noticed your behavior toward Commander Chakotay--and his toward you." Might as well just dive in. "The crew is split on the why. The Bridge and Engineering crews have one opinion, and everybody else seems to have another."
Despite being embarrassed by the topic, Janeway was also curious as to what the crew thought. "What do they think?"
Kes continued. "Bridge and Engineering seem to feel the two of you finally acknowledged your feelings. The general consensus among the rest is that you fought. Maquis and Star Fleet issues again."
Janeway looked startled. For the most part those differences had been quickly set aside 2 years ago, but every so often something came up.
Kes continued, "But even among the bridge and engineering crews people are wondering if the reason you haven't continued your," she paused a second to try to come up with a different word, and couldn't. "Affair, is because of those issues. Captain, you're building a wall to protect the ship's command structure, but you may find that wall extending to the ship's crew."
Kathryn sat there. It was true, to protect her command, she was building a wall to keep him out. She had never thought that it might also split the crew. She looked at Kes, the young woman was remarkable. She had this unerring knack of sensing a problem and pointing out consequences or solutions that were not what one expected. Even Tuvok had noted that in his reports.
"Kes, I..." She wasn't sure what.
Kes smiled. "Neelix thinks I should try not to meddle. But for awhile I've been serving unofficially as ship's counselor. So I finally looked up the job description."
"A ship's counselor is suppose to *meddle*." Janeway smiled. "And make people think about alternatives and consequences. You've certainly learned that part."
The young woman grinned. "Captain, good night."
****
She sat on her couch thinking for a quarter of an hour. Finally she stood. "Computer, locate Commander Chakotay?"
"Commander Chakotay is in his quarters," the computer answered blandly.
Well, there was no time like the present. She looked down at her night dress--no way was she going out dressed like this. She went to her closet and decided to wear her uniform, so she wouldn't have to return to her quarters in the morning.
A short time later she was walking down the corridor to his quarters, very self consciously. She may have decided what she was going to do, but she didn't feel comfortable having the crew know.
Kathryn stood outside his door and reached to push the door chime. She paused, suddenly uncertain whether to continue. She stood there a second or two. Somewhere down the hall she heard voices, whoever was walking her way. She had three choices, ring the chime, walk away, or...She didn't want anyone to know yet--and to be seen here and now would lead to some interesting rumors, so she typed in her override codes and slipped into his darkened quarters.
The couple walking down the hall didn't notice anything.
~~
Chakotay had been trying to get to sleep for about half an hour. He was about to give up and start working on reports again, when he heard his door open and close. After almost four months of living with her, he recognized her footsteps and presence. He smiled.
"You awake?"
"Do you always break into people's quarters?" He asked.
"Captain's privilege. It keeps the crew on their toes."
"I bet it does."
He sat up and looked at her, the only light was from the starlight coming through the porthole. She blushed under his scrutiny.
"Is there a purpose to this visit," he asked after a couple of seconds of silence.
"It seems I need help tearing down a wall--or actually to avoid building one." She moved a little closer. He reached and took her hand. "I'm looking for a volunteer."
He pulled her down so she was sitting beside him. "What does this project entail," he asked grinning, his free hand working to undo her hair.
"A lot of strenuous work, some late nights."
"Sounds interesting." He pulled her toward him, her arms wrapped around him, then their lips met in a passionate and hungry kiss.
~~
Over the next several days the crew noticed a change in their commanding officers behavior. They were talking to each other again.
Tom Paris was pretty sure he knew why, so he continued to observe them. They still kept eye contact to a minimum, which was probably just as well. What eye contact there was, was--for lack of a better word--intense. He smiled as he looked at the navigation console. They were passing near a Talaxian Mining Colony, but would not be stopping.
~~
The fates would be against them again.
~~
Chakotay was looking at the tactical and operation displays: there was a glitch in several of the command functions that he and Tuvok were trying to track down.
He turned in surprise and horror when it was announced that another Kazon beacon had been found.