The episode additions for the last seven episodes of season 4.
Disclaimer: Paramount own the characters...but I really wish they would let the characters discuss how they feel...
Unrelated to any other episode additions I've done this season.
Janeway leaned back in her chair and once again looked around her ready-room. It was comforting somehow...Familiar...And hers.
She stared at her hands as she moved her fingers in sequence. Her fingers...Her hands. She smiled slightly as she ran her hand over her desk.
It was reassuring.
Her smile broadened at the sound of her ready-room chimes. "Come-in," she said--in her own voice.
"Captain," Chakotay said as he stepped into her room.
"Ahh, Commander. Can I help you?"
He grinned. "I thought you might want to talk about what happened."
"I don't remember much. I guess I was unconscious throughout most of the excitement."
"I guess it was exciting." He sat down in the chair opposite her and leaned over the desk. "You've read my report?"
She nodded. "Well done, Chakotay." She smiled at him. "And thank-you."
He shrugged, but smiled back. "For what? Tom did all the work."
"And Steth. He should have an interesting journey...I wonder how many lives that alien has ruined?"
He didn't answer. There were several seconds of silence as they sat watching each other before Janeway looked down at her hands.
"These were what I missed first," she said as she raised her hands. "It was so...so unsettling to not see my own hands. To be me but yet not me."
"To see the world through someone else's eyes?" He reached over the desk to hold her right hand. "I still have dreams about my experience. It doesn't go away."
She smiled wistfully. "You are supposed to comfort me..."
"If you would let me..." He released her hand. "I'm sorry, Captain."
She glanced away quickly to avoid the pain she knew would be there. Her thoughts were in such turmoil, that she barely noted his departure.
As the doors closed behind him, she looked up sadly. "Perhaps someday," she whispered. "Someday."
#
#
B'Elanna pulled away from Tom's embrace and sat against the car door. Her face was a mask.
"Be?" Tom asked disappointedly. "What' wrong?"
"You really expect me to forgive you so easily?"
He looked puzzled. "I apologized...But it wasn't me."
"No not today...But it was the day before yesterday and before that...What in Kahless is wrong with you?" B'Elanna stared at him hard. "You've been behaving like a pig since our encounters with the Hirogen."
"I have?"
B'Elanna shook her head in frustration. "Yes a pig. You've hurt everybody. The Doctor, Janeway...me." She reached behind her to open the door. She didn't look at him as she climbed out. "When you are ready to behave like a person again, let me know. Computer show exit."
She walked into the well-lit corridor feeling like hitting the first person who passed. She leaned against the wall and bit her lip. *A pig, that's what he is,* she tried to convince herself--unsuccessfully.
"B'Elanna?"
She turned quickly--torn between murder and wanting to scream, instead she whispered, "Harry?"
"Is everything all right?" His voice was tinged with concern.
"Fine, absolutely fine," she said angrily and marched away.
Harry stood there and watched her until she turned the corner. It was obvious what had happened.
"Computer locate Lieutenant Paris."
"Lieutenant Paris is in holodeck two."
Harry studied the console, the privacy lock was not engaged. The doors slid open at his approach.
The young ensign glanced around the dark garage. Tom was sitting in a car, his head resting on the wheel. He didn't notice Harry.
"Tom?"
Tom looked up. "Are you here to chew me out too? If so, I'm not in the mood."
"I passed B'Elanna. She wasn't very happy. What the hell are you doing? Trying to ruin one of the best things in your life?"
"Go away." There was a pause, then Tom honked the horn vehemently. Harry clapped his hands over his ears.
Finally Tom stopped and closed his eyes. "It's what I do best. Ruin things. What my old man always said anyway. I ruin them before anyone can discover what a fraud I am." His voice became very soft. "I pretend to be this great person so no one will find out that I'm a fraud--a lousy, no-good, incompetent lying fraud. This is me. The person everyone hates. The person my father disowned. Go away before you hate me too."
Harry was out of his element. Deep psychological stuff was beyond him, but his friend was hurting. "Tom you can't believe that...If your father knew..."
Tom glared at him. "I spent my life trying to please the S.O.B. I never did. He knows I'm out here...He wrote me." That wasn't general knowledge. "All B'Elanna was able to recover was his title, name and address. It wasn't a letter from father--it was a bloody letter from Admiral Paris." He leaned his head against the wheel in frustration, anger, sadness.
Harry started to speak, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. B'Elanna put her finger to her lips and smiled slightly. Harry left silently.
She returned to her seat in the car, then pulled Tom into her arms. "I was waiting for the lift and knew I had to come back." She ran her fingers through his hair as she spoke. "I heard everything," she said comfortingly. "Tom you aren't a fraud. A pig yes...a fraud no."
He chuckled sadly. "I don't deserve you."
B'Elanna raised an eyebrow. "True. But you are stuck with me." She pushed him into a sitting position. "I want you to talk with the Doctor..."
He looked horrified, but nodded anyway.
"And when he finishes with you, I'll be in my quarters." She kissed his forehead. "And stop behaving like a p'tak, or I'll use that Bat'leth you insisted on giving me."
The flickering fire cast eerie shadows on the walls. hypnotizing the lone woman who remained sitting on the hearth. Kathryn had stared at the carved-cross long after Seven had left Da Vinci's studio. Lost in thought, wondering about...everything.
Religion, spirituality...These had never really been part of her life. She was a scientist. She liked quantifiable facts. She liked her life quantifiable...And yet she had also experienced spiritual moments. For good and bad. The realization that science isn't all powerful. That there are events that don't require a quantifiable explanation...
She smiled slightly as she stood. "Computer, end program." The studio blinked out of existence becoming once again a blank room of specific dimensions that science gave infinite possibilities to. She left quickly.
#
#
Harry sat in the mess hall contemplating his cup. He took a sip and realized that the tea was cold. He debated reheating it or just giving up and going to bed. He didn't bother watching the others there--most like him had come to just grab a late night snack before retiring. He watched the leaves floating on the surface.
"StarFleet, you planning on staring at that cup all night?" B'Elanna laughed quietly as she sat down across from him. "Contemplating the meaning of the world or..."
"Actually Omega..."
B'Elanna nodded. "If Seven was right, we may have passed-up...Kahless..." She glanced at Harry.
"Infinite possibilities...Unlimited energy..."
B'Elanna sighed. "Out here, such a source would be very useful. But as Janeway asked, are the risks worth it?
Harry shrugged. "StarFleet sure doesn't think so. So much secrecy..."
"Unnecessary secrecy. By now, everyone on board knows what happened."
She was right, Harry realized. The massive preparations, the aliens, the fact that everybody had been involved, and then the quiet communique from Janeway asking that all references to these events be removed from personal logs. "I doubt StarFleet will like that."
She took a bite of the cookie she had brought with her and shrugged. "Not much they can do about it. What are your plans for tonight? Up to a round of pool?"
Harry shook his head. "Sleep. I don't even feel like practicing my clarinet. You?"
"Same, Tom is finishing removing the modifications to the shuttlecraft." She yawned.
"How's he doing anyway?"
"Better."
Harry smiled at that. "Good..." He glanced at his cup and yawned several times. "Night B'Elanna."
#
#
"Sit still, Commander," the Doctor said. "It is just a sprain. What were you doing anyway?"
"I was on the holodeck," Chakotay replied.
"Hmm. Well, you sprained your ankle doing more than just being on the holodeck."
"Walking..."
"A very dangerous activity. I must remember to include it in my next report."
Chakotay glared at him. Right now he wasn't sure who was worse, Seven or the Doctor. "I tripped, all right." He just wanted out of sick-bay.
"Tripped." The Doctor waved the regenerator at Chakotay. "I recommend that you concentrate on where you place your feet."
Chakotay decided that perhaps a silent EMH wouldn't be a bad thing. "Yes, Doctor."
"Well your ankle is healed. Take it easy for the next twenty four hours. Ahh Captain." The Doctor turned his head toward the door.
"What happened?" She asked while striding to stand by Chakotay.
"The Commander tripped and sprained his ankle. He will make a complete recovery."
Chakotay watched her bite her lip. "Captain? Are you laughing?"
"No, of course not. I just never realized what a klutz you were."
He rolled his eyes and slid off the bio-bed. "Klutz?" He tried to sound irritated.
She grinned. "Come, I'll walk you back to your quarters. Make sure you don't run into any walls."
Chakotay laughed. "I surrender. Everybody is picking on me..."
"You tripped..." She motioned toward the door. "Think you can walk that far?"
"Kathryn, you spend too much time around the Doctor."
She raised her eyebrows and laughed as they stepped into the corridor. "Well at least I don't trip..."
"You're not going to let me forget this, are you?"
She frowned and looked at him. "I'm sorry. It's just that you looked so irritated when I arrived."
"And now?"
"Much better."
He smiled at her. "Buy you a cup of coffee?"
"Sure."
They didn't talk again until she was seated on his couch sipping the coffee.
"Why the secrecy?" He asked suddenly, figuring she would realize that he was referring to the Omega Directive.
"StarFleet..."
He shook his head. "No...StarFleet is 60 years away. They are not looking over your shoulder making sure every I is dotted and T crossed."
"StarFleet is very concerned about the particles. Even the Omega Directive briefing isn't much. Until it actually happens, Captains don't know much. Fleet officers might know more."
"Sounds..."
"Bizarre. I remember thinking that when I attended the briefing." She leaned back into the couch.
"Working in the dark like that. B'Elanna is right."
Janeway nodded. "Her comment about needing to know what was going in order to make proper preparations?" She rubbed her eyes. "StarFleet hadn't planned for us being in the Delta Quadrant when they created the directive."
"Not surprising..." He sat on his desk. "There is a more serious problem, that StarFleet never considered either." He stared at her as she glanced up at him with a puzzled look. "What would have happened if you weren't here?" A disturbing scenario, but considering everything... "Tuvok and I don't have the security clearance to over-ride the lock-out or access the information."
She clasped both hands around her cup and stared at it silently for several seconds. "True...I just..." She closed her eyes. "Another thing StarFleet didn't think of. I don't know if the computer would recognize anyone else as having the appropriate clearance even if they were Captain..." She looked at him and shrugged.
"Not very farsighted of them." He smiled.
"Not surprisingly. We are an incredible list of firsts."
"Hmmm. I'd say." He watched as she stood to drop the cup in the recycler. "You want another cup? Dessert?"
"I'm fine. Thank-you Chakotay. This whole mission has been tiring...And thought provoking." She smiled. "Night. Pleasant dreams..."
"Captain" She turned in the doorway. "I meant what I said." She was watching him, a curious combination of emotions on her face. "About you being my best friend..."
"You're my best friend too..."
"Kathryn?" The longing in his voice was unmistakable.
She studied him for several long seconds. "Good night, Commander."
#
#
She was supposed to be asleep. But after an hour of tossing and turning, Kathryn was still awake.
And it was all his fault. For four years she'd been able to hide her feelings for him. Even on New Earth she'd managed, but that was because he had never pushed her.
And now???
Chakotay picked up the top sheet of paper and studied the closely written words. He frowned. He recognized his handwriting, he even recognized his writing style--yet he didn't remember why he wrote this.
Which is exactly what the first couple of paragraphs had said his reaction would be.
He leafed through the stack of six sheets of paper--it was an incredible--no make that fantastical--story...More like some of the science fiction he'd read while in the Maquis. They had read to escape their own harsh reality. There were no holodecks or bars to get drunk in. Books were passed from person to person until they were beyond falling apart. He'd read mysteries, science fiction, even a history on the American Civil War...He'd avoided the romance novels that were especially popular--those seemed so corny and...well...
This read like a romance novel too. Beautiful woman needs the hero's help and claims she knows him...
He stared at the papers, confused. If it really happened, he had to report it...
If it was fiction, he wanted to destroy it.
He leaned back in his chair and stared at the far wall of his office and thought about it. If it wasn't for Kellin...If the story was true, Kathryn...What about Kathryn? Had she sat there and watched him and Kellin--relieved that she was no longer the object of his affections?
He hadn't written anything about Kathryn. Had she even noticed?
"Damn," he said with a low growl. He was too emotionally tied up in this story...It needed an unemotional analysis...
He reached for his comm-badge and asked Tuvok to join him.
#
#
Tuvok looked over at Chakotay as he placed the last piece of paper on the desk. "Intriguing. Commander, you have no recollection of these events?"
Chakotay nodded. "I don't really remember writing it either."
"You explain that these aliens implanted a virus into the computer that would erase any mention of the Remorans...I find it illogical they did not think of paper."
"I thought of that. It doesn't seem to have been something I discussed with *her*," Chakotay said sarcastically.
Tuvok quirked an eyebrow. "Yet you believe these events took place?"
Chakotay shrugged. "I don't know...It doesn't seen possible..."
"StarFleet had documented several similar cases. I shall order a level one diagnostic of the computer. If this virus used works how you describe it, there may be some lapses in the logs from this period."
Chakotay stood and walked to his viewport. "Can we do this without telling everybody the details?"
Tuvok studied the commander for a second. "The only person who needs to be informed of all the details..."
"Is Janeway..." The one person he'd rather not tell all the details to.
"That is correct...I am aware that this will be uncomfortable for you...And for the Captain." Tuvok hesitated, or so Chakotay thought, before continuing. "I do not believe that all the details need to be revealed." The Vulcan picked up the PADD he had copied the document into. "If you will excuse me?"
Chakotay nodded, his thoughts again wandering to the Captain.
#
#
Tom leaned back against the headboard and watched B'Elanna sitting at her desk. He smiled as he eyed her well shaped figure.
"Stop staring at me," she said with a snarl. "It's distracting."
He laughed. "Staring is distracting? I'll give you distracting..."
"Not now Tom. Tuvok wants this analysis tomorrow morning."
"The computer poltergeist?" He stretched. "Harry was mentioning that there were little things showing up..."
"Rather not showing up. We've scanned our database for the past six months for anything about the Remorans. The only thing I can find is brief mention by the Entharans about rumors of a very reclusive alien race."
"I find all this stuff about mass mind and computer erasing a bit much. I don't see how they can be so complete, how they can account for all variations in physiology and technology. Pheromones? Isn't that for sex?"
B'Elanna snorted. "The rumor I hear is that someone wrote something down--using pen and paper."
Tom laughed. "That's ridiculous." He paused, "but that would explain the rumor I heard from Jenny who said she heard it from Ayala--that one of the crew had a torrid affair with one of these aliens..."
B'Elanna turned from her report and smiled. "Ship's gossip. Remember the ones flying around over Omega?"
Tom nodded. "But there may be some truth to this one, because I think I know who..."
She stared at him, motioning slightly for him to continue.
"Chakotay," Tom said simply.
"Chakotay? Tom have you gone mad? And what about Janeway..."
"You weren't on the bridge. The tension between the two of them was so thick."
"He wouldn't...Couldn't have...He's in love with her..."
Tom shrugged. "Maybe not that much..."
B'Elanna growled. Tom raised his hands in defense. "Be...Maybe she turned him down...Maybe he's tired of waiting."
B'Elanna studied him carefully. "It's possible. Janeway will never allow anything to happen between them. She's too tied up in protocol and all that..." She mumbled a few appropriate Klingon words to describe her opinion of protocol.
Tom laughed. "I wonder..."
B'Elanna glared at him. "Don't start planning...Thomas Eugene Paris...I know that look."
He tried to look innocent. "Be...I'm shocked you would think such awful thoughts about me..."
She turned back toward her desk, returning to her still unfinished report, "I have awful thoughts about you a lot. You should see what I have in mind when I finish this..." Tom cringed expectantly at her laugh.
#
#
Janeway stared at Tuvok's report. She couldn't believe it...She couldn't not believe it.
It was still an unbelievable story. An secretive alien species with the capability to erase all memory of their existence...She almost smiled as she amended that thought. The ability to erase almost all memory of their existence.
Had these aliens been in too much of a hurry, too arrogant in their superior technology...There was a certain amount of irony at the thought that their technology had been beaten by a piece of paper.
*The pen is mightier than the sword.* One of the many cute sayings that were embedded in the language. The Vulcans had something similar...
Her thoughts returned to Tuvok's report. He had been reluctant to reveal more and she hadn't pushed...What surprised her was the incredible tearing of her gut as she had read between the lines.
Chakotay and this...this...Kellin. She wondered briefly what Kellin was like, then her mind wandered to had they done it next door--had she been forced to listen to them making love on the other side of the wall...That wall. She glanced quickly at the wall that separated their quarters--the wall that represented the incredible gulf between them.
Her eyes closed, no matter how much she told herself he needed to move on, deep down she knew it was not what she wanted to happen.
"Damn you anyway, Chakotay," she said softly, blandly. They had to talk. Today's shift had been awkward to say the least. But how do you bring up such a topic. What would she say...What could she, should she say?
She reread the opening paragraph and sighed. Fortunately or unfortunately she knew exactly what she wanted to say.
Damn protocol and damn him...And damn the Caretaker for dragging her into this mess in the first place. She stood quickly and strode out her quarters.
#
#
She only had to wait a second before the doors slid open, revealing the darkened quarters of her chief-of-security. He stood upon her entrance. "Captain."
"Commander," she said glancing around.
"Is there a problem?" Tuvok asked.
She shook her head. "I...I wanted to talk about the Remorans."
Tuvok quirked an eyebrow. "We have not detected any sign of this virus, or any mention of these Remorans. There is some minor data fragmentation. Such fragmentation, while not common, does not mean that the Remorans were here. However, Commander Chakotay is not one to invent such fiction."
"True."
"None of the ship's systems or operating capabilities have been affected."
"Good, good." Janeway clasped her hands behind her back.
"Captain, is there something you wish to discuss?"
"Umm...No. Thank-you Commander." She hesitated a split-second, wondering why she had wanted to talk to Tuvok about this.
"Captain, I have often wondered about the human propensity for denying the obvious."
She wondered what he was talking about, as she watched him staring at his finger tips before he spoke again.
"I have known you for many years and have been honored to call you friend for most of them. But Commander Chakotay is correct, you are an stubborn woman." She stared at him, not believing that he had said that. Trying to put another spin on it. Trying to think of something to say.
He looked at the Kaltow set on his table. "Life out here is like Kaltow. One needs to see the balance, the harmony. The solution is there, it is just a matter of finding how." He looked up at her. "Good-night Captain."
She nodded slightly. "Good-night...Friend."
TBC