Summary: The day after a drill where Murphy ruled, Neelix tries his hand at writing a story.
This was my SNW II submission. I suspect parodying the advice given by the editors was not a good idea.
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount...the canyon, the rocks, the purple-eyed creature are mine.
The giant alien lizard turned to face the intruder. Its purple eyes flashed in anger as it stepped back toward the tall yellow rocks. A fearful hiss filled the air as the creature darted its blue tongue out.
The Talaxian explorer hesitated; the hairs on his chin twitched nervously. Every instinct told him something was wrong.
A sudden snap from behind him caused the...
Neelix leapt out of his chair and dropped the PADD. It clanged on the kitchen floor before settling under the stove.
"I'm sorry." Neelix turned to see Tom Paris standing behind the chair, laughing despite his apology. Neelix ignored him and lay down to retrieve the PADD. "You're just lucky the drill is over. Commander Tuvok --"
"This morning, Mr. Vulcan wrote that I was negligent in my duties. How was I to know that my tossed-posian stew would catch fire at the wrong moment?" Neelix clutched the PADD to his chest as he stood. "I tried to explain." He shook his head in frustration over the black mark against his good name.
"Commander Tuvok is always very thorough in his analysis. I think he enjoys it. Neelix, I was hoping you have some jerxta pudding left?" Tom opened the refrigerator door and started rummaging. "What were you reading, anyway?"
"I wasn't reading." Neelix lowered his voice. "I've decided to try my hand at writing. Except it looks like I'm not very good at that." He glanced at the PADD and sighed.
Tom grinned as he turned holding a bowl of pink pudding. "Actually, it wasn't that bad. You need to build the suspense some more. Add something like the birds stopped singing...A faint echo of footsteps...You know?"
Neelix's mood brightened as he listened to Tom's advice, then it fell again. "I've been working on these paragraphs for the last two hours. I can't get the mood quite right." He stared at the pilot expectantly and handed him the PADD. "Perhaps?"
"Neelix...I...All right," Tom said in resignation. "I'll try." He raised his right hand to emphasize his words. "Just try."
#
#
The silence of the forbidding planet unnerved the lost and hungry pilot as he crept closer to his prey. He was desperate to kill the reptilian creature that had been eluding him for hours.
He carefully slid between two tall yellow rocks and stopped. Slowly, the lizard-like animal in front of him turned and faced him -- it's purple eyes flashed in anger and fear as it reared up on it's back two feet. An soulful hiss filled the air as it darted its blue tongue out.
The pilot hesitated. Something caused him to stop and listen; instinctively he gripped his phaser tighter.
A sudden snap from behind him caused the...
"Tom," B'Elanna said as she sat down beside him. "Didn't you get any sleep?
He raised his eyes from the PADD and stared at her before yawning twice. "Not really, Neelix wanted me to help with his story. I went to bed, but kept getting up to work on it." He yawned again as he took another bite of his lavender pancakes.
He fought the urge to yawn again. Between yesterday's drill and last night's lack of sleep, he was in no shape to face a Klingon's temper. The busted door wasn't even his fault, he tried to rationalize. Today just wasn't starting well.
But then, yesterday had started badly too. When the drill klaxons had sounded, the door to his bathroom had frozen -- trapping him on the wrong side. He'd had to destroy the locking mechanism to open it.
His thoughts were interrupted when she grabbed his PADD. "This kept you up?" She asked a few seconds later with a wry laugh. "Three paragraphs?" She glanced at the PADD again. "I've got the morning off, let me see what I can do with this. You should stick with holo-programming."
Tom sighed with relief as she concentrated on the story. He'd report the door later.
#
#
The unsettled silence of the foreboding planet was broken by the panting of the Klingon warrior as she stepped from behind the tall yellow rocks. Her honor was at stake; she needed to kill this creature, to see the blood flow from its veins. But she could not kill it until she saw its eyes. She chanted softly to attract the giant gray lizard's attention.
The creature twisted gracefully to face her; its blue tongue snaked out of its mouth. She raised her Bat'leth for the ritualistic kill, while watching the creature's purple eyes flash in fury and terror. This creature must die for the dishonor it had brought to her and her dead crewmates.
She hesitated. The harsh dry breeze brought the awareness of another danger.
A sudden snap from behind her caused the...
"Lieutenant Torres?" Chakotay said as he dropped two PADDs on the dining-hall table. B'Elanna jumped, knocking her cup of coffee to the ground.
"Gees, Commander. Thanks and everything, but was it really necessary to be so noisy?" B'Elanna took a deep breath to calm down.
"You were very engrossed in whatever you were reading." He pushed the PADDs toward her. "Commander Tuvok's revised analysis of yesterday's drill."
"He couldn't have picked a worse day." She skimmed the top PADD and groaned. Damn Vulcan, he'd found another fault with engineering's security measures. She made a mental note to add this to her growing list for the afternoon engineering meeting. A list of errors that had been compounded by a broken water pipe. Half of engineering had been drenched.
She grabbed her three PADDs and handed them to Chakotay. "The top one contains our preliminary analysis of the security drill. I've assigned Lieutenant Carey and Ensign Vorik to work on improving our response times." She smiled slightly. "Did you really show up on the bridge barefoot?"
Chakotay shook his head. "B'Elanna you ask too many questions."
"You didn't! What happened?"
"I couldn't find my boots, all right?"
B'Elanna laughed. "Chakotay, you're the neatest person I know. Even in the Maquis you always knew where everything was."
He rolled his eyes. "I'm never going to live this down. The one time I toss my boots into a corner and there's a drill..."
"I love it. Chakotay, barefoot on the bridge --"
"I'm glad someone finds it amusing." They both looked at his feet, which were solidly protected by Starfleet issued boots, and laughed.
It was an hour later that she realized that she had handed him the wrong PADD. She had to smile at the thought of Chakotay reading it.
#
#
There was calm air about the hunter as he knelt by the large footprint. He placed his hand into the still warm depression and smiled. He was gaining on the beast. He stood and sniffed the breeze, noting the faint odor of death and decay. The creature was very near. He glanced around the canyon, at any other time he would have reveled in the beauty of the tall yellow rocks -- but a scratching sound from around the bend reminded him that he had to protect his village from further onslaughts by this creature.
He peered between two rocks for his first glimpse of the giant gray lizard. Its angry purple eyes were staring straight at him, and its blue tongue snaked out of its mouth. He gripped his primitive spear and moved forward, making sure to hide in the lengthening shadows. The hunter knew the creature was aware of his presence, even though it remained motionless. He raised his weapon in preparation for the kill.
He hesitated. There was something else in the canyon.
A sudden snap from behind him caused the...
"Good afternoon, Chakotay. Good story?" He opened his eyes at the interruption and grinned as the Captain sat down across from him. "Not really. So, how was your meeting with Tuvok."
She sipped her coffee. "Yesterday's drill will definitely be remembered. If it could go wrong, it did."
"Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong, will."
"Is that what it's called? Not surprising it has a name. We're meeting with department heads in an hour to discuss what went wrong and how to avoid such bizarre events in the future."
Chakotay grinned. "Nothing could be stranger than the sight of Voyager's captain --"
"Okay, Tuvok hadn't told me either. If I'd known, I would not have been in the hydroponics garden." She ran her hand through her hair.
"What happened anyway?" He leaned across the table.
"I bumped my head on a shelf, and the nutrient medium spilled..." She buried her face in her hands. Chakotay smiled when he realized she was laughing.
"Purple?"
She glanced up at him. "Purple. I don't think I've ever been so embarrassed." She took a breath.
He shrugged, "Not too many Starfleet captains would look good with purple hair...Or blotches on their uniform."
She again ran her hand through her hair. "I swear it still smells, but I think most of the purple is gone."
"Yes, it is gone. It wasn't by any chance..." He lowered his voice. "...The stuff he uses to grow the leola roots in?"
She shook her head. "No. Neelix didn't seem too bothered by its loss."
"Oh well. One can hope."
"I'll try to do better next time, Commander." She winked. "Don't let me keep you from whatever you were doing."
"It wasn't important. But the boss does expect me on the bridge in six minutes."
"Well then, you'd better be going."
He stood. "Captain." He left the PADD behind.
#
#
The young diplomat scrutinized the barren canyon, noting the perfection of the tall yellow rocks. She shivered, yet the breeze was warm and dry. The eerie calm was too much -- there was definitely something amiss. She reached for her comm-badge and froze. A scratching sound from the shadows transfixed her. "Who's there?"
Nothing. Again the feeling of foreboding descended over her as she took a step forward and repeated her question. Still there was no response.
She reached for her phaser before remembering that the conditions of the meeting had been come alone and unarmed. "Whoever you are, please show yourself." It took considerable effort to keep her voice steady.
A giant grey lizard slipped out from behind the rocks, staring at her hard with its purple eyes. She stepped back when it reared up on its hind feet and flicked out its blue tongue.
"I am --"
A sudden snap from behind her caused the...
Kathryn jumped at the sound of her Chief of Security clearing his voice. "Commander?"
"I have completed my analysis of the drill." He handed her a PADD.
She smiled slightly. "Tell me, did everybody suffer from strange misfortunes?"
Tuvok quirked an eyebrow. "There was considerable chaos during the drill."
"I noticed."
"I shall, of course, be rescheduling the drill."
"Of course. When?"
"Captain?" His face revealed nothing.
She had known he wouldn't tell her when. She just was not looking forward to another drill...But it couldn't be any worse, could it?
"Is there anything else, Captain?"
She started to shake her head, but stopped. "Wait. I have an idea." She handed him the PADD she'd been working on. "You have an eye for the dramatic." She raised her hand to ward off his disagreement. "Your Alpha-Insurrection program was well written and conceived...Even if the plot was a bit far-fetched." He looked at her with a puzzled expression on his face. "When you have a chance, I want you to try working with this story. Good afternoon Commander."
He stared at the PADD.
#
#
Tuvok skimmed the different versions. The story was incomplete, but it might be of some use to him.
In fact, it was logical to use them as scenarios for the upcoming survival re-certification for the crew. Yes, this story had possibilities. It would be an efficient use of time and materials.
He had one thing to do first. "Computer run a level two diagnostic on the calendar subroutines."
Yesterday's drill had been scheduled for this morning.