Warning: Honest, I had not planned on a sequel--until Tuesday night. And I couldn't think of another title...oh well.
Disclaimer: This season has seen a rise in Janeway stories that have her reflecting upon events of the past couple of years. We are all struggling to figure out where the bitchy captain with dictatorial tendencies came from. And, I suspect, most of us don't see TPTB letting her deal with this...so we do. Paramount own the rights to the characters...
Kathryn Janeway stared at the pool table for several seconds before she reached out and moved the blue ball five centimeters to the left.
She looked around guiltily--but Sandrine's was empty, no one had seen her move the ball to make the shot more difficult. Again, she studied the table and the balls then finally set up to take her shot. She smiled as two balls found their way to the pockets.
She ordered the computer to reset the table and sat down. As she sipped the coffee she contemplated the last couple of weeks. The weeks since that dream...or whatever it was.
She had finished redecorating her quarters the other day. Her original plan had been to do it slowly--until she realized she had far more rations than she thought. She'd been eating in the mess-hall for so long. And the computer records had shown that she hadn't replicated anything for herself for almost a year. Thus the light maroon sweat suit she was wearing. And the dark red dress she'd replicated--but hadn't found a reason to wear yet.
Then there was her pool game. She'd been practicing every day for a half hour to an hour so she could compete in Tom's pool tournament. It had surprised her just how bad her game had become. Well, maybe it hadn't surprised her really. She stood and picked up her cue stick. It had also improved quickly. She made her opening shot, and then followed up with three easy ones. Her game was nearly as good as ever.
She again reached out to move a ball. There was no point practicing on such easy shots.
"That's cheating."
She jumped at the sound of the voice and dropped the cue stick.
"I didn't mean to scare you." Chakotay smiled at her.
"That's okay. What are you doing here?"
"It's nineteen hundred hours. The monthly reviews?"
She laughed. "I forgot. Sorry?" She tried to look contrite, but all he did was laugh. "What?"
"I never thought I would live to see the day when Captain Janeway would forget about reports and just have fun."
"You're busted, mister. Feel you can beat me?" She bent down to pick up her stick.
"I've been playing at least every week for the past couple of years...Sure you can beat me?"
"Challenging the Captain? Isn't that against article something or other?" She was smiling. The reports long forgotten.
"Only if the prize is I get to keep the ship." He grinned, that smile she hadn't seen from him in far too long.
"No way..." She watched as he selected a cue-stick. "Ummm...one second...I need to do something first...Give me ten minutes?" She would need every edge to beat him...and knew exactly how to get that edge...
Even if it meant walking along a precipice herself. She practically ran out of the holodeck, leaving a very curious Commander staring after her.
And returned fifteen minutes later. Chakotay was lining up a shot when she spoke. "I'm back." She laughed when he looked up and stabbed his cue stick into the felt. "I believe we'll need to fix that before we can play." She smoothed the red dress along her hips and walked over to the other side of the table.
He gurgled twice before he could pull his eyes from her and speak somewhat coherently. "Ummm...Kathryn?"
"I do believe that is my name. Did you have a question?"
"Yes, who are you and what did you do with Captain Janeway?"
She shook her head and sighed. "It's a strange story. You ever read Shakespeare?"
"Some."
"He wrote, 'Every subject's duty is the king's; but every subject's soul is his own.'"
"And this phrase..." He stared at her curiously.
She sat down at the table and motioned that he should join her. "I had...Remember Liera? We traded there about two weeks ago?"
"How could I forget. I thought the Prime Minister wanted to elope with you." He grinned slightly.
"Before we'd even arrived there--I dreamt--" There was a slight inflection indicating her uncertainty. "--That I had decided to stay there." She shrugged, no longer sure of all the particulars. "I had a dream that I had attended a meeting of Captain's Anonymous..." She glared at him, silencing his laugh. "When I told them about my decision to strand us all here--that was the response."
"You are responsible for us being here--but you are not responsible for how we chose to accept or not accept the facts?"
"Something like that." She'd somehow known that he would see the meaning behind the words.
"So you've decided to rejoin life, accept that we are here, and the past can't be changed?"
She nodded. "You don't have to be so blunt about it...But you are good at that...being blunt."
He chuckled quietly. "Thank-you, I think. It's about time."
"Yes it is." She looked at the pool table. "Do you know when the last time I played pool was?"
"A while ago...It's been a long time since you really did something relaxing too."
"You worry about me too much."
"And you don't worry enough." There was a moment of silence as they both took several deep breaths. She could feel some of the anger she usually felt when he pushed or challenged her. Something she wanted to try to forget.
"It's not easy..." She took several more breaths before continuing with her confession. "I...well I don't like..." She took a very deep breath and spoke fast. "I've never had a first officer or for that matter any officer--besides Tuvok--ever really disagree with me. And two years ago you did just that. And I guess I resented it. And ever since then it seems more and more of the crew are disagreeing with me..."
"It isn't so much that we disagree with you, but that we want you to listen to other options and ideas. To be willing to admit that yours is not the only choice. It's not a sign of weakness..."
"I know...Have I made too much a mess of everything?"
"No...No, you haven't." He gave her a half smile. "Over these past two weeks crew morale has improved drastically. They like seeing you smile and laugh nearly as much as I..." He looked away quickly.
She didn't ask for clarification, not yet sure if she was ready or willing to deal with that clarification. Despite wearing a short red dress that clung tightly to her. "Thank-you Chakotay."
He smiled. "For what?"
"Being a friend, even when...Even when I was a bitch, a despot..."
She watched him flinch, but not answer.
"It won't be easy..."
He smiled slightly. "It isn't supposed to be." She watched him as he stared at his hands. Suddenly he turned and smiled at her. "But I'm willing to welcome you back to the fold..."
She smiled. "Thanks..." She looked around the room, she was uncomfortable with the possible direction of the conversation. "We were going to play pool..."
"I'd rather do something else."
"What?" Her voice squeaked.
He stood and bowed slightly. "Computer, play Paris selection eighty-two-alpha." Soft music started to play. "Ca...Kathryn, may I have this dance?" He motioned around the room. "No one else is here."
She stood and took his hand.
As they waltzed silently, Kathryn was aware of many things; but mainly she was aware that the walls she'd constructed intentionally and unintentionally were collapsing. She hadn't ruined everything--that with time and patience she could rebuild what had once been.
But right now she just enjoyed being in the arms of her best friend--a man who was more than that.
She smiled.