The following two stories start the same and end very differently.
Disclaimer: TPTB don't know these characters.
Alternate universes happen when just one thing is changed.
Warning: This is my death of J/C story. So be forewarned. This story started off being more cheerful...The more cheerful version is called Hope Has Many Lives.
"Commander Chakotay's personal log..." He thought a second before continuing.
"Hope is a strange beast. It can lie dormant for months, even years and even appear dead.
"I don't know when I stopped hoping...Or maybe I never did. Today was--is one of those days where Captain Kathryn Janeway confuses me more than usual."
Again he paused.
"Perhaps I should start at the beginning. It wasn't love at first sight or even second. I'm not sure exactly when I realized it. We had no choice but to work together. Our people needed us to cooperate.
"But life and love were never meant to be easy...and I fell for her. It wasn't until New Earth that I truly began to understand the woman under the captain's mantle. We both declared our feelings in a round-about/safe fashion. Perhaps that was a mistake. It made it too easy to return to our command relationship and shove everything else except that under the rug. We remained friends, but everything else was hidden. Not to say I didn't try--or even a few times she did--to be more.
"But always these attempts were doomed. I didn't try hard enough; she wasn't willing to take such a risk. Who knows--there is blame enough to be shared.
"I tried several times to move on. I saw the pain in her eyes after Riley, and I thought maybe just maybe...
"Optimism and hope can carry a man only so far." He leaned back in his chair, his brow furrowed as in a distant, painful memory.
"We fought over the Borg. We'd disagreed before--but this argument reached a personal level, and we wounded each other, badly.
"And started drifting apart. I overheard the Delaneys gossiping yesterday. They couldn't know I overheard them. They were discussing if the slow decline in morale was somehow tied to the growing gap between the Captain and Commander. I had not realized until that moment just how wide the gulf between us was.
"We have not been the friends we once were; and any other prospect I thought possible had died in Borg space. She has said I'm her best friend...at this moment I worry that perhaps I am her only friend. She has distanced herself so completely from everyone else." He sighed and leaned forward.
"I've been rereading my personal logs.
"Jenny and Megan were correct. I just don't know what to do anymore. Maybe there is nothing I can do. She doesn't want my help. She doesn't seem to believe she needs anybody's help. But everybody can see she does. I worry now about her mental health--so do the Doctor and Commander Tuvok. I fear that one day soon, I may have to do the one thing that will destroy her forever..." He bit his lip in concentration, his thoughts straying to that moment.
"After all the safety of the ship must come before any personal feelings."
Warning: This is the story that as I started to copy it from paper to computer was transmuted into *Death of Hope.* This one is much happier. It is also a companion piece to Rebecca's challenge story Always True to You
"Commander Chakotay's personal log..." He thought a second before continuing.
"Hope is a strange beast. It can lie dormant for months, even years and even appear dead.
"I don't know when I stopped hoping...Today I wonder if I ever did stop. Today was--is one of those days where Captain Kathryn Janeway confuses me more than usual."
Again he paused.
"Perhaps I should start at the beginning. It wasn't love at first sight or even second. I'm not sure exactly when I realized it. We had no choice but to work together. Our people needed us to cooperate.
"But life and love were never meant to be easy...and I fell for her. It wasn't until New Earth that I truly began to understand the woman under the captain's mantle. We both declared our feelings in a round-about/safe fashion. Perhaps that was a mistake. It made it too easy to return to our command relationship and shove everything else under the rug. We remained friends, but everything else was hidden. Not to say I didn't try--or even a few times she did--to be more.
"But always these attempts were doomed. I didn't try hard enough; she wasn't willing to take such a risk. Who knows--there is blame enough to be shared.
"I tried several times to move on. I saw the pain in her eyes after Riley, and I thought maybe just maybe...
"Optimism and hope can carry a man only so far." He leaned back in his chair, his brow furrowed as in a distant, painful memory.
"We fought over the Borg. We'd disagreed before--but this argument hit at a personal level, and we wounded each other, badly.
"And we started drifting apart. I overheard the Delaneys gossiping a few weeks ago. They couldn't know I'd overheard them. They were discussing if the slow decline in morale was somehow tied to our break-up.
He laughed. "There was never anything to break. But they did have a point. Since returning from the pool championship game at Sandrine's this evening, I've been rereading my personal logs.
"Jenny and Megan are correct.
"I just didn't know what to do...I'm still not sure..."
He closed his eyes to focus the memory.
"This evening. Kathryn was there. She creamed Tom. Our pilot didn't even look disappointed to lose his crown. He'd only held it for two years.
"Two year...It was two years ago when things started going wrong. When Kathryn began to isolate herself from me...from the crew...possibly even from herself. She was always the Captain even in private. It was just another way for her to hide from the loneliness and unhappiness. But two weeks ago, something changed. She attended Ensign Gerron's 24th birthday party willingly.
"I want to know who grabbed her by the shoulders and shook some sense into her. It wasn't me. I was still recovering from our latest run-in with bizarre Delta-Quadrant aliens. Whoever they are, I want to thank them.
"Hope is a strange beast. I thought my hope long dead--only to discover it had been dormant. After all this time, I'm sitting here wondering just what is happening. She said she'd like to stop by for a chat. But the way she said it, soft, sultry, with a gentle squeeze to my hand, caused hope to blossom. She then smiled at me and whispered, 'I'm sorry.'"
He froze when the doorchime sounded.
As she entered, the look in her eyes caused hope to burn in his veins.