Pot of Gold
Spring 2000
This story was written during season 6, but I forgot to post it on my site.
Disclaimer: Paramount owns and abuses the ST world, but I like to try and stop the abuse--even if it is only for a short time.
Summary: Did you know a leprechaun lives on Voyager?

Kathryn Janeway sat on the mossy rock and stared down at the holographic sea one-hundred meters below and sighed. Was it only two weeks earlier when this very program had wreaked havoc on her ship. Somehow, and no one really understood this, the citizens of Fair Haven had managed to become sentient. She'd allowed the illusion to continue for several days before the program had quietly been shut down and some major modifications made. The program was finally up and running--minus Michael. She had asked Tom to delete the character. This would be her last visit to this program. She had let herself become too involved and as a result Voyager had suffered. She picked up a stick and through it way out into the waves below.

"I'm sorry," a thick Irish voice said. "But I do not fetch. Especially in those waters."

She stood and reached instinctively for her absent phaser. She looked around several times then shook her head. Now she was hearing things. Perhaps the Doctor was correct--she did need a vacation.

"No, you're not hearing things." A small humanoid less than a meter tall popped into existence. "Though I would be worried about your sanity." He laughed.

"Computer delete character standing in front of me."

The computer beeped, then replied, "There is no character..." She shook her head again. The program still had some problems, she decided. It was possible that the Fair Haven program would have to be completely deleted. Instead she walked toward the exit. There were still a half-dozen reports sitting on her desk.

She ignored the harumph from behind her.

"Aye," that voice said from behind her. "I'm a leprechaun. And that robe doesn't do you justice." She whirled about and almost screamed at the sight of the little man sitting on her chair in her bedroom.

"What are you doing here?" She started to look for holo-projectors. This had to be an elaborate practical joke.

He laughed. "I came aboard with Sean O'Reilly. I've been with his family for centuries, but he's been spending his evenings with a certain lass."

"A stow-away." She pulled her robe tighter. "Go bother someone else." She began to wonder if Q was playing some strange game with her.

"I don't want to. You are fun to annoy. So, tell me, Captain, just what did you see in that Michael creature--he wasn't even real."

"That is none of your business." She reached for her combadge on the dresser. It vanished just as her fingers closed around it. The little man in green was holding it. "And anyway, aren't you supposed to give me a pot of gold?"

He chuckled. "Only if you catch me." He vanished.

She picked up the combadge that was again by her hand. "Janeway to bridge."

"Bridge here," the voice was Lieutenant Rollins.

"Run a complete scan on my quarters." She didn't bother to explain why. There was a slight hesitation, then Rollins acknowledged her order. She reached for her tricorder and started to hunt for those hidden projectors that had to be here.

She smiled at his concern. "I'm fine. Why?"

He handed her a PADD. "You ordered a complete scan on your quarters and then there is the incident with the holodeck."

"I'm fine. Really." His look was anything but belief. She swore quietly. He wouldn't let this go.

He nodded. "I see. Well, I have shore leave. You?"

"I may try to get off tomorrow." She glanced out the viewport at the planet they were orbiting. An uninhabited class-M planet. Most of the crew, if not all, were planning on spending some free time on the surface. Except her. She found these rare moments a great opportunity to catch up. "Dismissed. And commander, enjoy your day."

"Aye, Captain. I'm sure we will." He smiled as he left.

We???

"Tsk, tsk," that increasingly annoying voice said behind her. She turned with her tricorder ready. The leprechaun was sitting on the briefing table. He opened his eyes. "I find that a half hour of Yoga every morning keeps me mentally alert the rest of the day." He glared at the tricorder. "Put that thing away, it makes me nervous."

She read the data several times before hanging it back on her belt. It mustn't be working. "Always looking for a rational reason, aren't you?" He stood and placed his hands on hips. "Well, I'm not a rational reason."

"You aren't even real." She rubbed her eyes.

"So you prefer to be seeing illusions rather than reality, most curious."

"I prefer rational, quantifiable answers..."

"Ahh, science." He grinned, then wiggled his ears and tossed her a branch that had appeared in his hand. "Is this real enough for you? But what I want to know is why you aren't going on shore leave. Surely, you're entitled. Rank Has It's Privilege and all that. Anyway I'd like to see the planet--and Lieutenant O'Reilly is going with his lass."

"A captain's work is never done."

"Saint's preserve us." The leprechaun laughed. "I'm sure that gentleman would accompany you if you'd rather not go with me."

"Chakotay? He has a date."

The leprechaun smiled. "With the guy with the neat ears?" He rubbed his own ears as he spoke. "Apparently they share a botanical interest or something. But why were you with that Michael guy when he is here?"

"You are too noisy. I'm surprised Lieutenant O'Reilly puts up with you. He is very meticulous and private."

The creature really laughed. "Captain, when was the last time you really participated in anything your crew does? Really participated?" He added cutting off her initial response. She actually thought about it and realized it had been a while. Sure, she had attended the various parties, but recently (like the past 3 years or so) she had shown up, made the rounds and left. "I see you realize I am right. Sean O'Reilly is now the current pool champion and also holds the ship record for the 100 meter dash. He has been dating Rebecca Cummings for two years and they are thinking of getting married." The leprechaun cocked his head. "And I introduced him to her."

"A leprechaun and a match maker...My, my, what a combination."

"No need to get sarcastic, Kathryn. That's a good Irish name by the way."

"My great grandmother..." She glared at him. "Go away, I have work to do."

"All work and no play, made Kathryn a very dull girl indeed." He snapped his fingers and vanished.

"Try the lavender, Captain," Tom Paris said as he served himself. "It's not that bad. The away-teams have found a wealth of edible plants."

"I know," she said as she followed his example. "I was hoping they would be ready for us to eat."

Tom chuckled. "So, when are you going on shore leave?"

"Is this a conspiracy?" Tom shrugged as he poured himself a glass of something yellow.

"You should," that damn annoying voice said. She didn't bother looking, figuring he wouldn't actually be there. "Too many people--" he continued. "--we'll finish this conversation later."

She really should see the doctor.

"Ahh, lavender food. How do you put up with this colorful assortment of edible delights?"

"Now who's being sarcastic," she whispered.

"Captain?" Harry Kim asked from behind her. "Did you say something?"

"No, Ensign. Just wondering about the colorful selection."

"It beats the brown stuff we had for dinner three weeks ago."

She nodded her head in sympathy. That meal had cost her many cups of coffee--she'd replicated a large salad and pie for dinner. "Tom says the lavender is edible."

"Can't go wrong with lavender," that voice said.

"Did you hear that ensign?" She asked, hoping he'd say yes, but knowing the rumors would soon be flying instead.

"Captain?" Harry asked, his eyes narrowing slightly. He smiled at her. "Neelix is singing again, I suspect."

"That's probably what it was. Enjoy your dinner, ensign." She finished serving herself and moved away. Harry watched her for a second, then returned his attention to the food choices.

She made her way to the back of the mess hall, to her usual table. As she sat, she hissed. "Don't ever do that again. Talk to me in private--and in person, talking to empty air is...Good evening Neelix." She recovered quickly as the Talaxian looked at her strangely. Damn, the rumors would be in full force tomorrow. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Ummm..." Neelix placed a large red fruit in front of her. "The away team found these, and I...ummm...wanted you to be try one. I'm sure they'll be popular. It's very similar to leola root." He watched her expectantly as she worked hard not to react. Slowly she took a bite and somehow managed not to grimace. It was juicier than a leola root--but the taste was too similar. She picked up a napkin and carefully wiped her mouth. "Very juicy," she wanted to avoid the second bite. "It can't have a long shelf life?"

"No," Neelix said sadly, "Commander Tuvok says a couple of days at most. I'm hoping to spend my shore leave looking for more."

She almost closed her eyes. Perhaps the doctor would be an ally in keeping these things off the ship. Neelix took her silence as a hint and quietly left. She made sure he wasn't looking and wrapped the offensive fruit in a napkin, then went back to her meal.

"Well done, Kathryn," the leprechaun said as he flickered into view. "He's never figured out that leola root is tasteless..."

"Oh, it's not tasteless--that would be an improvement." She smiled slightly. "Now, go away."

"No." He grinned at her. "And you can't bust me down to crewman, since I'm not part of your crew."

"Please?" She didn't mean to sound so desperate, or so loud. Several diners glanced at her. Damn, damn, and more damn. She lowered her voice as she continued. "I presume they can't see you either?"

The little man's grin grew. "Congratulations, you may now go to the front of the class. Or better yet, how about some shore leave?"

"Permission granted--take all the time you want--in fact you can stay there..."

"Ah, but my lovely Kathryn, that would be lonely..." He winked, then vanished.

The doctor tapped the tricorder then placed it back on the tray with a shrug. "Captain, there is nothing wrong with you. Except the usual: high blood pressure and you still aren't eating properly."

She sighed. "Could this cause...visions?"

"Like in hallucinations?" The doctor picked up his tricorder and rescanned her several times. "I see no supra-orbital anomalies." He chuckled quietly. "I would recommend spending time away from command. You of all people especially need time that isn't ship related." He paused. "Spend time with a friend?"

"I'm Captain, Doctor--I can't afford time for friends."

"Really?" That most annoying voice said. "Do you realize how dumb that sounds?"

"It is not dumb..." She tried to swallow the words, but the doctor heard them.

"None of my suggestions are dumb." Somehow he managed to look hurt. "Only those who chose to ignore my sound advice. And since you agree with me, I will recommend, knowing I won't have to make it official, that you take the next twenty-four hours off..."

"Yippy!"

"Shut-up..." She'd done it again. The Doctor's eyes narrowed.

"I see. While you are one of my more recalcitrant patients, you have never been my rudest. As ship's doctor, I am ordering you to take the next forty-eight hours off. AND I will also order the computer to deny you access to all ship related business. Good day, Captain." He walked into his office leaving her trying to figure out how to explain to him that she'd been talking to a leprechaun.

"He won't believe you," the voice said.

She decided she would ignore the pest, maybe it would return to Lieutenant O'Reilly...

"Now we can go on shore leave!"

"No way..." Several passing crewmembers glanced at her, and she knew they'd heard. "You have to stop talking to me in public."

"No I don't." She rolled her eyes as she wondered just how O'Reilly had dealt with it.

"So, if we aren't going on shore leave, just what will we do for forty-eight hours?"

"Ack!"

The leprechaun left her alone for the next two hours as she read a book. She finished it and debated borrowing Tom's TV and watching some of the movies he'd suggested--not that she'd tell him that...

"What?" Coming from the bedroom was loud martial music.

"Hey, Kathryn in here. This is great. Do or not to do--or something like that."

She glanced into her bedroom and sighed. Sitting on her dresser with his legs crossed was that leprechaun. "What are you doing?"

"Watching TV. I used to love this. Tommy boy has some interesting choices." He picked up a video box and tossed it away. "Though I think space fantasy would seem a bit overdone considering where we are..." He laughed.

"What are you talking about?" She was more than simply exasperated.

"Star Wars. Tommy has all six episodes." He started to sing a melody--quite badly she decided. "Exciting stuff. And there's this little guy with great ears!"

"I was thinking...Oh never mind, I'll continue reading."

"Ulysses?"

"No..." She turned to leave, but the leprechaun quickly appeared in front of her.

"You need to relax more..."

"Relax! We're 60 years from home and you want me to relax!" This creature was really beginning to get on her nerves.

"See...Kathryn, out here it is even more important." His voice lowered to a conspiratorial whisper, even though there was no one else about. "I'm sure you know of the various betting pools." She felt her cheeks warm. Sure she knew of them--and how early on her crew was actually betting on...He continued talking. "I see you do. Did you know that your crew is actually betting on when you will crack-up?"

She sagged against the doorway. The 'what' she wanted to say stuck in her throat. The leprechaun smiled sadly. "Unless you learn to relax on your own, you will too...So, you up to watching six movies with me? Or we could go on shoreleave?"

"I'd rather..."

"Read reports, check on the waste management systems, count how many leola root tubers Neelix has left?"

"Has left?" Her voice squeaked slightly.

"Twelve. He's saving them to grow on earth."

"The port inspectors will confiscate them." She grinned slightly. "Hazardous material or something. Six movies?"

"Six." He motioned for her to head into the bedroom where she'd put the TV borrowed from Tom. "But we can see them in the holodeck on a larger screen?"

"But then we could only see one."

"Point." He leaped up on her dresser. "I can also teach you some yoga. And I have a potato lefse recipe..."

"I don't cook."

"Use that replicator thing then. Come on Kathryn--relax." He grinned. "You'll enjoy yourself. Trust me."

And she had. At least through the first three. The leprechaun had arranged for a well balanced meal, no coffee and then vanished after he'd extracted a promise to spend some time on the planet with him.

So, they were sitting alongside a forest stream. He was delighted--and she, reluctantly, admitted that the place was peaceful. "Kathryn, are you even listening to me?"

"Hmm? Yes." She tossed another stone into the water--it made a satisfying kerplunk.

The leprechaun laughed. "I told you so. The secret to life is to remember to treat yourself to some. Set aside a hour or two every day that is your time. No ships, no problems, nothing related to work. Indulge yourself..."

"A philosopher now. Just be content that I'm here still." She stretched out and let her bare feet dangle in the water. "I don't have that kind of time anyway. The only reason I'm here now is because the Doctor restricted my activities."

"I won't go away until you learn how to relax."

"Oh."

"She went to the planet's surface, sir. Three hours ago."

"And you didn't see fit to report this?"

The lieutenant blanched, then shrugged. "She is the captain. Sir!"

Chakotay shook his head. So much for demanding she spend some time on the planet--and since she was on medical leave, he was captain. He grinned as he started to leave. He had been prepared to drag her down to the surface and abandon her. He stopped in the door. "Who'd she go with?"

Lieutenant O'Reilly smiled. "Nobody, except a leprechaun."

Chakotay glared at him, then left. The whole crew seemed to be cracking up today. He paused as he tried to remember what a leprechaun was--some sort of fairy.

He needed to discuss with the Captain the effects of Fair Haven...

He hated that program. He'd admitted early on that he was jealous of a hologram--which might be equal to actually dating one. He'd been surprised when she'd ordered Michael's program deleted.

"Hello Chakotay," a thick Irish voice said as he entered his room. He whirled about, nearly tripping over the couch.

"What?"

A small humanoid appeared, sitting on his table. "Hello. I'm the leprechaun who went with Kathryn to the planet."

Chakotay's eyes narrowed--damn, he was suffering from something. He rubbed his eyes. "You're not real..."

"Not you too." The leprechaun sighed. "I get that a lot. Kathryn believes I'm real...now..."

"You're the leprechaun?"

The little man grinned. "O'Reilly saw me. She's on the planet, relaxing."

Chakotay smiled. "And what drug did you use?"

"A stream and a forest." He winked at the commander. "I need to get back down. She's not good at relaxing--yet. But she will be." The leprechaun vanished and reappeared quickly, hovering near Chakotay's left ear. "Patience laddie--she's coming around." He vanished but a second later the voice added. "I think."

Chakotay stared at the wall for several seconds then shook his head. Nah, it couldn't have been and set out to not remember this bizarre encounter. He tapped his combadge. Five minutes later he was standing in the transporter room having notified Tuvok that he was heading down to the planet. The Vulcan had quietly confirmed the order, yet Chakotay was positive Tuvok must have raised an eyebrow--he just wished he'd notified Tuvok in person.

He appeared on the planet's surface about seventy meters from where Kathryn was. He was curious what a relaxing Kathryn looked like. It had been almost four years since the last time she'd really relaxed--and that had been at best a half-hearted attempt to relax. He walked quietly, carefully avoiding making any noise until he could peek around a large rock and see her.

And immediately burst into laughter. Kathryn opened her eyes.

"Go away."

"What are you doing?" She was sitting on the ground, her legs crossed with her hands on her knees.

"Yoga."

Chakotay stepped out from behind the rock. "Why?"

"I'm relaxing," she said very calmly as she closed her eyes.

"I see. The Doctor ordered you to relax."

She smiled slightly. "Actually he just ordered me to not work."

"Ah." He stepped closer. "Who are you and what have you done with Captain Janeway?"

"Go away."

He tapped his combadge. "Chakotay to sickbay."

"Commander, is there a problem?" The Doctor's voice said. She was glaring at him.

"I'd say so. I believe evil aliens have taken-over the Captain." She started to stand, but couldn't get her legs untangled.

"And you have a reason for the theory?"

"Yes, she's trying to relax."

"I see." There was a pause. "I recommend you beam her directly to sick-bay..."

"GO AWAY!!!" Chakotay started to laugh as she tossed a small pebble his direction. She smiled slightly, then too started to laugh. "Ummm. Commander, I seem to be stuck in this miserable position."

"It is not miserable," an Irish voice said just before the leprechaun popped into view looking far more comfortable in his meditative pose than Kathryn now did. "It's a matter of practice."

"You didn't tell me I would become an object of ridicule."

The leprechaun shrugged. "Katie my darling, there's a lot I haven't told you." He grinned then vanished.

"Some friend," Chakotay said after a second of stunned silence, then burst out laughing when the Captain stuck her tongue out at him. "Where'd you meet him anyway?"

"Remind me to demote O'Reilly." She twisted around. "Damn."

"Captain?"

"I uh...Uh...Seem to be stuck in the ungracious position." He bit back another urge to smile. She was still sitting on the ground. "Commander, stop gawking and help me get up."

"Yes, Ma'am." He walked over and grabbed her offered hand.

"Stop," she called out. "This isn't working. What did that creature do, put glue on my pants?" She stared at her still crossed legs.

"Kathryn, how long were you sitting like that?"

"Not long. Two hours or so, I think."

"Didn't *your* friend explain to you that yoga also deals with flexibility? You don't just do it."

"Come to think of it, why would a leprechaun know yoga anyway." She glared at him. "Wipe that smirk off your face and get me out of this--before anyone else sees me."

He knelt down in front of her and gently pulled her right foot out from under her left knee. She stifled a gasp as she leaned back and spoke. "This is the last time I will ever, did you hear me Commander?" He nodded as he continued untangling her legs. "The last time I will EVER let anyone convince me that I need to relax."

"You just picked the wrong form of relaxation," he whispered as he removed her shoes and started rubbing her feet. To help restore the circulation, he told himself.

Her feet felt wonderful and she almost sighed as he continued to manipulate her toes and feet.

"How are your feet feeling now?" His soft low voice said.

"Wonderful, but my legs..." She sat up quickly, shocked at what she's almost said. "Much better, thank-you." She pulled her feet out of his wonderful hands. "Nothing that a good warm bath can't cure." She thought she heard something about a cold shower, but decided that it was her increasingly overactive imagination. Relaxation was highly overrated. She held out her hand.

He stared at her hand, then shrugged as he stood. "Very well, Captain." He reached for his combadge.

"NO!" She shook her head violently as she struggled to stand up. "Ouch." She sat down again and started rubbing her calves.

Chakotay knelt beside her. "Kathryn?"

"My legs are asleep. Here, help me up." This time he took her offered hand and started to pull her up. The loose soil slipped from under his feet, sending him sprawling on top of her.

"Remind me, Commander, to shoot the next person who even looks like they suggest I relax."

"Including leprechauns?"

"Definitely." His mouth was too close for comfort. "Commander, I believe we were trying to get up?"

"Why?"

"Why? Why what?"

"Why were we trying to get up?"

"Because..." Her voice faded as she again noticed how close he was. Actually, any closer and they'd be breaking the last of those unspoken parameters from so long ago. As she stared at his tattoo, she wondered why?

"Why?" She asked softly.

"Why what?" Chakotay asked as he placed his hands firmly beside her head.

"Why are we in this ridiculous position?" He wondered at her giggle.

"I really don't know..." He started to say.

"Oh by golly and by gawsh," that Irish voice said. "Honestly. If you don't know..." He appeared beside them and threw his hands up in exasperation. "Laddy and Lassie...Do I really need to explain things?" The leprechaun sighed. "Well, it's like this...Ummm, I well...Didn't your mothers teach you the facts of life?" He asked in a very frustrated tone.

Chakotay rolled away and glared at the little man. Kathryn stood quickly and walked about two meters away, her arms crossed. Chakotay sighed--whatever her mood had been a minute ago he had only guessed at--but now he recognized her *don't play games with me, Mister* stance.

The leprechaun shrugged and vanished. Kathryn didn't glance at Chakotay as she ordered herself beamed back to the ship. He heard her mutter something about relaxation not being all that great.

Right now he agreed. He glanced around quickly and then requested transport back to Voyager.

"Commander," the young ensign at the controls said as he materialized. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes," he snarled. "Why?"

"The captain, sir. She seems pretty pi...I mean she seems pretty mad, sir."

Chakotay walked out without responding. Leprechauns were top on his list for murdering. He'd been so close...

"Laddy, you blew it."

"Like Hell. What did you think..." Chakotay whirled about to find himself staring at Tom Paris of all people. "Ensign, did you say something?" Paris had taken three steps back.

"No, sir. Is everything alright? The Captain also seemed to be...ummm...Good afternoon sir. I'm late for my shift in sick-bay." Tom practically ran down the hall. Chakotay placed his forehead against the wall and sighed. He wondered what the rumors would be this time.

Chakotay would have slammed the door, but Starfleet ship designers had long ago eliminated slammable doors, so he kicked his shoes off and then threw one against the wall. It helped.

"Tsk, tsk," the voice said.

"Go away."

"You know," the leprechaun said with a laugh. "Hello is so much more friendlier."

"But I don't want you here. You are public nuisance."

The leprechaun vanished. "See if I ever help you again."

Chakotay sat down on his sofa. The day had been interesting, a roller-coaster--for the first time in their six years on Voyager Kathryn had actually...

He stood and gathered his shoes. He needed to apologize--leprechaun or not, he should not have...

Kathryn Janeway couldn't decide to furious or just angry. And even worse, she didn't know who to be mad at. Chakotay was a leading contestant, just what he been thinking?

But it was the leprechaun who was the winner. If that interfering little creature hadn't had interrupted she had no idea what would have happened.

The sound of the doorchime stopped any further reflection.

"Captain," Chakotay said with a bit of hesitation. "I...um...Wish to apologize for my behavior earlier."

She stared at him, then smiled. "I'm sorry I was so mad, but that..." She chuckled. "Actually, I'll take that apology. You really should finish what you start. Good night, Commander." He stared at her without moving. "Commander? Voyager to Chakotay?"

"Did you mean that, Kathryn?" He whispered as he grabbed her wrist.

"Yes."

The leprechaun's grin grew, but this time he didn't say anything as Chakotay wrapped his arms around his Captain and kissed her. Instead he vanished.

B'Elanna screamed then tossed a PADD at him. He ducked. "Tommy boy, your lady friend has quite the temper." Tom grabbed his robe with a moan.

"Go away," he snarled as he helped B'Elanna wrap a blanket around herself.

"I did what you asked me to do."

"Oh..." Tom rubbed his eyes. "Oh!"

"I'm returning home now. I'm sure Sean has missed me." With that, the leprechaun vanished.

"Tommy?" B'Elanna asked. "What was that P'tak doing here? And just what did he do?"

Tom chuckled. "Made me a very wealthy man." He picked up a PADD and accessed some data. "Not bad at all. I think I can now afford that steak dinner I owe you."

"Tom," she snarled in warning.

He knew he would have to explain. "Well, it all began with a poker game. Sean O'Reilly thought he had the winning hand, but no money..."