May 9 I'm still here.  I'm flailing about madly to demonstrate that fact.  Watch me flail! Umm,  yes.  Now that that unpleasantness is behind us,  let us speak of ovaries.  They're taking me in for some more tests to determine if it's something worse than cysts.  Ick.  I'd rather not go there until I know exactly what the heck is going on with me.  I've been singing in a (very crappy) show.  Children's opera...  What were they thinking?  I mean,  it's like operatic Disney...  but I doubt I could do much better.  So,  I'm way less mobile than I have been, so even walking up and down stairs hurts like a bitch. Camille!  Eat the muffin!  It starts like that,  but soon you're sticking your finger down your throat until you can't vomit any more just in the name of being thin and accepted.  Not eating totally took a toll on me and I'm still having to deal with the fact that my weight will go up and down.  I'm not good enough for myself,  and I should be.  I'm pretty fucked for having listened to the impulses telling me to remain thin and keep losing weight and no one is strong enough to fight off those impulses once you've given in to the bigger stuff.  So eat normally because weight watching,  calorie counting,  starving yourself and even depriving yourself of all of that yummy good stuff just plain sucks ass. May 3 Well,  when I woke up and came downstairs,  I was greeted by the lovely Joel on my AIM list.  What a pleasure to have the chance to speak to him!  We caught up for a second,  but I had to dash off to the Doc's.  I was all psyched to walk there,  but after a few blocks the stabby pains got pretty bad,  so I hailed a cab.  I waited in the lobby to be seen by a doctor for a while (which ended up only being 45 minutes) before being admitted.  They checked me out,  told me I have another cyst in my right ovary (which is also slowing down any healing that I could be doing at this point) and gave me some stronger pain medication until I can get my hands on some menstruation regulatin'  cyst stoppin' pills.  And that would have to be after I get back from Europe.  So that's late May/Early June. Ah well,  tryin' to stay positive.  It's beautiful outside and my garden (which I've been unable to tend to thanks to this dang pain...  Codeine time is now!) is in full bloom.  I was taking some pictures yesterday and sketching the nice cat filled garden  (I even got a nice shot of MI KAT after I poked him.  Tee hee!) So,  as soon as I can go get my meds,  everything will be comming up roses. Listening to:  Hello City,  Gordon,  Barenaked Ladies Ovaries:  OUCH! May 2 Fudge.  This page keeps messing up.  Is it time for some self-inflicted head bonking?  3rd time's the charm. Ah,  it's damn fine weather we're having here in Toronto.  It was about 26 degrees celcius...  toasty,  to say the very least.  However,  in the dead of summer when the walls start to melt,  I will be stationed in front of a fan...  refusing to move.  It's only May and I've already taken to the wearage of bras and panties as household attire.  I'm not an exebitionist,  I must say.  I'm much more of a topic hopper.  Hop hop!  Next stop:  Talkin' about my non-exebitionist-ish-ness.  (How's THAT for a word?)  I guess I haven't exactly been told to repress anything,  but I've been somewhat shunned and teased for having a bust.  That was a while back,  but it has carried through in the back of my mind.  It's not as if I'm mega breast woman or anything,  I'm not even sure what it is.  The point is that I'm pretty shy about my body.  I'm taking measures to NOT be so self conscious (buying a bikini...  it ended up backfiring when I couldn't find one that had large cups and a small back...  I'm working on it.)  And I've been drawing nudes.  Just out of my body proportions,  they look quite nice,  actually. Camille,  congratulations on surviving your first year of university.  Your KAT must be thrilled.  (You'll have to let him down gently about the whole "not following in his pawprints/wheel tracks" thing.  I'm sure he'll understand.) Stuart,  I really liked your rant about peanuts.  It really made me laugh.  Actually,  I read it outloud. Cindi,  great tattoos.  I'm still virgin skin for now,  but I can see how I might like tattoos or a few piercings.  I really like your designs,  too. Awww,  Carol.  I'm worrying about Max the Cat,  too.  If only I had room for another,  I'd take him on the spot.