My Bizness Plan

First I plan to conquer a small country. Once in power, I will declare stuffed animals to be the new official currency. As a result of this, I expect to see a nationwide increase in stuffed animal production. Those who manufacture these lovable plush miniatures will literally be “making money” as it were. After people have grown accustomed to this, I will suddenly declare all stuffed animals to be terrorists. “People of our fair nation,” I will say on live TV, “For years we have labored under the assumption that stuffed animals were money. But they’re actually terrorists disguised as stuffed animals disguised as money. We must take immediate action. Please bring all your stuffed animals to State Headquarters for emergency confiscation.” Once all the stuffed animals in the country are in my possession, I will go on live TV again to say that it was all a mistake, and that upon closer inspection, it turns out that stuffed animals are not terrorists at all - they are money as was originally thought. I will then laugh and say “Ha ha, now I’m the richest man in the country” and with that, I will resign and leave the country, never to return. I used to think this plan wouldn’t work, but that was before it HAPPENED IN CANADA IN 1988!!! YEAH, BUT THEY DON’T TEACH YOU THAT IN THE HISTORY BOOKS, DO THEY??? THAT’S BECAUSE THEY DON’T TEACH ANYTHING IN HISTORY BOOKS - THEY TEACH THINGS IN CLASSROOMS, USING HISTORY BOOKS AS TEACHING AIDS!!!

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