Making of the Band
by Yami Yue


Chapter Four: Confession

Yusuke and Kuwabara were all too eager to get started on a new song so it was no surprise that what Kurama and I had written began a long night of coming up with more. It was thanks to Yusuke and Kuwabara’s enthusiasm that there were more than enough lines written and suggested for Kurama and I to begin work together on a song of our own. I greatly enjoyed the task; it meant I had a good excuse to be with the fox as much as possible and the opportunity for us to become even closer.

We were close to finishing the first verse and the chorus the day the first big rainstorm of the year came upon us. The rain poured down mercilessly all day. Kurama had become solemn and quiet as the day progressed and I had began to worry he was going into depression like he had after his human mother died. By evening, he spoke less than I usually did. We worked on our song during dinner much the same way we had done at breakfast that morning weeks ago and that seemed to brighten his mood somewhat. After dinner we washed and dried the dishes, then sat down on the couch to watch TV for a while.

We were watching a movie when I began to feel myself drift off to sleep. Kurama placed his arm around my shoulders, urging me closer to him. I looked up at the handsome redhead, but his eyes were on the screen. I leaned against him and slowly my eyelids began to droop. Soon after I gave in and let sleep claim me.

I awoke to see Kurama standing at the window. The pale light of the streetlight shone upon him. I was surprised to see the tall, masculine form of Youko Kurama instead of the softer adolescent form of Shuichi Minamino. (Kurama rarely took on his true form.) The rain was still pouring down outside. The fox was looking out at nothing in particular. I could see his solemn expression from his reflection in the glass and wondered what weighed so heavily upon his mind.

As though sensing I was awake he turned to face me. “Is something wrong?” I asked as I sat up. He shook his head slowly. I frowned. “You’ve not been yourself today,” I commented. “I was thinking of someone,” he said softly. “Before we met, he was my closest friend. I lost him many years ago,” “His loss must have hurt you a great deal,” I commented, glad he was opening up to me. He nodded. “It was always difficult for me to make friends,” he said, “Many were willing to share my bed, but it was impossible to find anyone who willing to share more than that,” “He was the first willing to share more than your bed?” I asked. “Yes,” he answered. “If not the first, the first one I actually believed wanted to share his heart with me. Had he lived, he might have become my mate,” My heart sank at those words. How was I supposed to compete with that?

Kurama walked toward me slowly. Once more I marveled at his grace and beauty. My eyes never left him as he crossed the room. “So tell me Hiei, what do you want from me?” he asked as he sat beside me. “You wish to know my touch, do you not?” He leaned toward me, placing his arms on either side of my body, effectively pinning me to the couch. “You’ve already tested my skill in fighting and thievery, why not this one as well?” he asked as he leaned closer. His golden eyes seemed wild and slightly unfocused. For once I was actually afraid of the one person I trusted most.

His lips were nearly touching mine and my eyes widened. “Let me go,” I demanded. “Why?” he asked. “Don’t you want to test my skill at giving pleasure?” “Not like this,” I answered. He smirked “I know you desire me Hiei,” he said seductively “I see it in your eyes,” “I don’t deny that I do,” I replied. “…but I will not be your pleasure toy to be used and tossed aside as you see fit,” “You wish me to be yours then?” he questioned. I scowled. “You think I would want you to degrade yourself in such a manner?” I snapped. His eyes widened in surprise then narrowed in anger.

“How can you think my wanting to please you degrading?” he questioned. “I wish my lover to be as satisfied as I, and take pleasure in ensuring that,” “A lover is only someone you satisfy lust with,” I responded. “You insult me if you think that’s all I want from you,” “Then what do you want from me?” he asked. “I want us to be like Yusuke and Kieko,” I answered. Kurama smiled, his eyes twinkling mischievously. “I didn’t know you had a masochistic streak Hiei,” he said jokingly. “You know what I mean Fox,” I replied. “I want us to be a couple….have a real relationship…”

Kurama tilted his head to the side slightly, as though considering my words. He brished his lips softly against my cheek, then rose, releasing me from his hold. Without a word he got to his feat and left the room. I scowled. That was the second time he’d confused me like this. I got up and headed to Kurama’s room. The fox was sitting on his bed with his head in his hands. His ears were lowered as though shamed. As soon as I crossed the threshold he raised his head to look at me. My eyes met his and he quickly looked away, unwilling to meet my gaze. In that brief moment his golden orbs had shown me his pain and embarrassment. They had also showed fear. What was the fox afraid of? He already knew my feelings. Was he afraid they had changed? Or was it something he had yet to reveal?

I slowly approached the bed and sat down. He looked at me and I knew by his expression he was going to apologize. I placed a finger upon his lips to silence him. “Don’t,” I said softly. He raised his eyes to meet mine and I was surprised to see that he wanted me too. Then why was he holding back? Why was he so afraid?

“What are you so afraid of?” I asked as I lifted my finger from his lips. “Many things,” he answered. “Mainly getting my heart broken again, or breaking yours,” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Was he saying he loved me, but afraid to give us a chance? It hurt me to know this was unsettling him. I thought love was supposed to be simple. “If we remain as we are then you will have no reason to fear,” I said softly. Kurama remained silent. A moment later I felt his strong arms around me. I leaned into his embrace. It felt so good to be held like this. “You really do love me don’t you?” he whispered. “You just now realized that?” I responded as I opened my eyes Kurama chuckled. “Maybe,” he said. “Maybe I already knew,”

On to Chapter Five

Back to Chapter Three