Lance didn't return
that night. Or the next. Before Josh knew it, a week had passed, and Josh had
not seen Lance or even remotely felt his presence near him at all. He wondered
if maybe he had dreamed Lance up. Maybe he had lost it, and made up this perfect
man for him to fall in love with that would save him from his troubles.
With Lance gone, his
nightmares had returned, but now they were worse. He actually had started
sleeping in front of television set in the living room. Drifting off sometime
in the night to the sounds of infomercials playing. He wondered if Lance would
ever return to him, or if something had caused him to disappear from his life
for good. Had he gotten in trouble for talking to him?
Josh knew he had to
forget Lance. He wasn't going to come back. Chances were that he had never
existed in the first place. He walked into the shelter to find it eerily
silent. He walked towards his office, only to find it empty once he reached it.
He continued on hoping to find one of his co-workers. All of the doors that he
passed on his search were closed. He scratched the side of his head trying to
remember the last time a situation like this had presented itself. He stopped
in front of the staircase remembering full well the last time the shelter had
been like this.
Shaking his head, he
started to go up the stairs. As he walked down the hall, he could hear voices
coming from the end of the hall. He stopped in front of the one open door in
the hallway. He saw Chris and Joey talking quietly as they packed up the room.
"Hey, guys. What's up?"
The two men stood
silent for a minute before Chris put the stuff he was holding down. He walked
over to Josh and closed the door behind him. "Hey, Josh. Why don't you take
the day off?"
"Why, Chris?
What happened?"
Chris sighed as he
took Josh aside. "We lost another kid last night after you went
home."
Josh slumped against
the wall. "Oh my."
"Josh just go
home. We'll take care of everything here today."
Josh nodded before
moving away from Chris. He moved blindly down the hall and down the stairs.
Another life lost. He didn't know how he made it home, but he did. He collapsed
onto the couch, and covered his face with his hands. This one wasn't his fault.
He wasn't there.
He removed his hands,
and looked around him. The house felt empty. He knew Lance wasn't near, and he
wished at that moment that he was. He laid back on the couch staring up at the
ceiling letting his mind drift back to that night not too long ago where he had
been the one there to pack up the belongings, and ship them home. It had been
him to tell the girl's parents what had happened. Maybe if he hadn't had put her by herself, she would still be
alive.
He ran his hand over his face surprised to find tears there. He hadn't cried in awhile. He looked towards the TV screen, and saw a flash of something there. He sat up, and looked behind the couch, but nothing was there. "Lance, are you here? If you are, I need you now. I need to talk." Josh waited looking around the room, but saw nothing. He felt nothing. Lance was gone. He would never come back. Maybe he would see him again in heaven someday.
Running his hands
through his hair, he got up from the couch, and walked towards his room. He
left the lights off, and slid to the floor next to his bed leaning against. He
needed Lance back.