Never Going To Forget You
Characters:
Alexia Full name: Alexia Trust. Facts: Black hair, brown eyes, 160 cm tall, 16 years old, born May 5 1983. Daughter to Marie and Douglas Trust. Lived in Australia, moved to California.
Susan Full name: Susan Wind. Facts: Brunette, brown eyes, 172 cm tall, 16 years old, Alexia's best friend, lives in Australia.
And the Backstreet Boys!!!!!
I looked at the letter, it was from Australia, but it wasn't from Howie, it couldn't be, he had said that he would't write again, maybe he had anyway. I opened it, it was two letter in it.
I carefully picked up the first one, it was from Susan.
"Hello Alexia
I went to the Backstreet Boys concert yesterday, the only one that they had here. I promised you that I'd try to help you with Howie, so I brought a sing that said "Alexia moved to California". I'll make it short.
Howie saw it, or well, Brian saw it and tapped him on the shoulder. Howie just stopped in the middle of "I'll never break your heart" and asked that they'd put some light on the sign! I wish you'd been there to seen his face, it was a smile, not much but still a smile. Then he started crying! They had to take a break to make him pull himself together.
The sign was so heavy that I couldn't hold it up any longer, and he did see is so I thought that it was okay. But then the sign ripped in to little pieces (the crowd wasn't very gentle when he was crying like he was), and I lost it completely.
But the next day Alex, the next morning Mickey was standing outside my door and handed me a letter. It was from Howie, and I don't know what's in it, would you please tell me? I hope that he will keep on sending them, cause this is something you know that? I know that you aren't too much for romantic stuff but this is so cute! He kept on sending you letters the whole time no matter where on Earth he was and that necklace! You look great in it, but you look sad at the same time, I guess that's because he isn't there, right? And you always started sighing when there was a romantic scene in a movie... ;)
Everything is going to work out just fine, Howie will come and you'll meet him and you'll be together for a long while! Yours Susan"
I looked at it, and I'd doubted her... Now when I think about it I guess that I had good reasons at the same time but still. I always thought that Susan would give in to the others and pick on me but she'd stood up for me instead, she had always been a great friend when it was important.
I picked up the other letter. From Howie for sure.
"Hi Lexi.
I hope that it's you that read this cause I really, really want it to be you.
You've moved to California and I spent three days alone here in Australia. Nick went to see his family in California (I guess that you haven't met him on the streets, hu?), A.J. is at home, resting, and Kev and Brian are at their places, probably sick and sleeping. And I'm still here, alone... I hoped that I could spend these three days with you.
Does your parents know about us? Or maybe they still think that we are only friends... I don't know.
Was it your friend that held that sign in the audience last night? It said "Alexia moved to California". I didn't get to meet her/him though... I wish I had, so I could get your address... Maybe you'll get this letter anyway? Maybe that person is going to send you the letters? I can always hope... And we'll be in California soon, in 23 days (that is soon if you think about that I've been away from you in fourteen months). Just another month, not even that. Please be in the audience then Lexi. I have to meet you, if you don't wanna see me again then please just let me see you one more time. If you do wanna see me again then I'm the happiest man alive.
I don't got anything to do for the next day, I'll probably just wander around in town and doing nothing, or maybe go to the beach... (and I will watch out for the sharks and the other strange and dangerouys animals, promise). I think I'll give my mother a call, I haven't talked to her - or anyone in my family - for a long time now and I should have been there now, not here alone hoping that your friend will show up and tell me where you live. I won't go to your house anymore, at least I don't think so. It's not because of the girl, I liked her, but the memories...
If I don't see you again, have a good life and find someone to love. But I won't be able to search through whole California, or maybe I can? You'd probably just get mad... or maybe not... I won't, I'll ask Nick and his family to look after you instead.
I miss you, love Howie D."
I got up and walked out of my room, praying that my father wasn't mad at me or anything else.
- Hello angel, my mother said, are you okay now?
- Yes, I smiled, can I ask you something?
- What?
- Can I go to the Backstreet Boys concert in 23 days?
- What? Do you... If Douglas is okay with it.
- Okay, thanks mom, I smiled and walked down stairs to the living room.
He was watching TV, not something that he really seemed to be interested of though.
- Dad?
- Alexia?
Typical, still mad at me.
- There's something I'd like to ask you about.
- What is it? He looked at me.
- It's like this, I sat down beside him, there's going to be a concert here in about three weeks, can I go? Please?
- What band is it?
- BSB.
- What?
- The Backstreet Boys...
He looked at me.
- You are hoping that you are going to met him again right?
I looked at him with a how-could-you-ever-get-that-idea-look.
- Stop that Alex, he said and looked at the TV, it costs you know.
- Please daddy, please, I'd do anything!
- Even tell him to leave you alone?
I looked at him. How could he even say such a thing?
- Don't look so shocked angel, he smiled.
- Now what?
- We bought those tickets a long time ago, don't worry. You are going to see the Backstreet Boys, but under certain circumstances.
- Okay, what's that?
- That you behave and that you don't try to break in somewhere, okay?
- Okay, I smiled and gave him a hug, thanks daddy!
- You are welcome angel.
I looked at the whole settings when I stood there alone. It was amazing how fast the past hours had gone by while all the past 23 days, or more exact the fifteen months, had passed. It had been summer when I had seen him, late summer but still summer, and now it was late fall, early winter, a year later.
The sign that I'd done saying "I'm here!/Alexia" my father had confiscated before I left and I hadn't been able to do a new one. So I sat there on the floor while everyone else was leaving, waiting for Howie to come.
It didn't take more than half an hour until a man noticed me.
- Oh my God are you okay?
- Yes, I smiled, I'm fine, I'm waiting for... I'm waiting for my boyfriend.
- Oh, you lost him?
- You can say that.
- Does he know you're here?
- I don't think he does.
- What's his name and how does he look?
- It's Howard Dwaine Dorough and he looks like that, I pointed at a picture of him.
- Right, I'm supposed to believe that.
- Yes you should, cause I am. Do you know where he is?
- Probably on his way to the hotel by now.
- Oh...
- You could say that again.
- Are you sure? He said that he would have someone looking for me.
- Really? He grinned.
- Really, I got up and looked around.
The people that was there was running around packing up or selling stuff to the fans.
- And I'm Nick's mother, come on, if you aren't hurt it's about time to get home now.
- No, I looked at him, I have to stay. My name is Alexia Trust, please you have to help me. I haven't seen him in fifteen months.
- Oh, so you are saying what? That you got a kid that's his?
- No, I hissed, Can you or can you not help me find someone who can take me to him?
- That I'm afraid I can't.
- Then leave me alone.
- Miss...
- WHAT?
I got so surprised by the echo that I didn't say anything else.
- Don't get mad, I'm only doing my job miss.
- And I'm hoping to find someone who can help me get to him, and that's soon cause my parents will kill me if I don't get home soon.
- How old are you?
- Would you just leave me alone?
- I'm guessing that you are under 20 then, and for all I've been told is that Howie's girlfriend is 23.
- 24, I said and looked at him, it's 24.
- So you are just a fling? Oh... I'm sorry to break it to you but I don't think that he'd want you right now... or well...
- I'M NOT HIS LITTLE FLING!
The echo sounded a while after and I could see that everyone looked at me.
- I'm not leaving until I get a hold of this guy or Howie okay?
- I'm sorry but...
- Miss? Another man came up to me and looked at me.
- Yes?
- What's your name?
- Alexia Trust.
- Would you please come with me?
- Why?
- There's someone who wanna see you.
- Who?
- Maybe it's your boyfriend Howie, the other guy said.
- You shut up cause you don't know what you are talking about! I hissed.
- Sorry, he said and was just about to turn around when another voice was heard all over the building.
- WOULD YOU JUST LET ME GO!
I turned to where the sound had came from and saw someone running against me with two other men running after him.
- I think it's best if you leave Miss.
- I don't think so, I said and kept on looking at the man who came running my way.
- Either come with us or I have to carry you out.
- What?
- Are you coming or not?
- No, I'm not coming with you... I...
He sighed and took my arm and started walking to the exit. I tried to get out of his grip but I simply couldn't.
- STOP!
- What? The man who'd first come up to me looked surprised as the man came closer.
- Wait, he hurried over.
- Howie! I smiled and started pulling even harder to get loose.
- Let her to, he said and slowed down, she's my girlfriend.
- Oh, sorry Mr.
I just smiled and ran to Howie and threw myself in his arms.
- Lexi, he smiled and hugged me, God I've missed you!
- I've missed you too, I smiled.
- Mr. Dorough, you can't just run...
- Come on, you can come with us to the hotel, if you want to that is.
- Okay, I smiled.
- Okay, but we gotta go now before the fans recognize me...
He smiled as he opened the door to his hotel-room.
- Ladies first, he said.
- Thank you, I smiled.
He closed the door behind him and looked at me.
- I got your letter, I said after a while, Susan sent them to me.
- Susan? That was your friend right?
- The one with the sign, yupp.
- Remember me to thank her, he smiled, but...
- Yes?
- Do you still want me? I asked you to...
- Be here even if I didn't wanna be together with you, I know.
- So?
- Of course I still love you, I smiled, why wouldn't I?
- Cause we've been away from each other for so long, he smiled, I love you so much Lexie.
He pulled me in to a hug.
- I'm sorry if I'm not that fresh, he smiled, but I've just got of stage.
- I'm not that fresh either, you have no idea how sweaty you get in the audience...
- I can imagine, he smiled, you can use the shower first if yo want to.
- Thank you, I smiled.
I watched him when he came out from the shower. I guess he was as unsure about the whole situation as I was. He hesitated for a second and then he walked over to me and sat down on the bed.
- Tired?
- Could have been worse, he smiled, Did you get all my letters?
- I don't know, how many did you send?
- 40, 50 perhaps, maybe even 60. I should have written some more but after a concert... you are way too tired to use your head in any normal way.
- I got them all then I guess, I looked at him, thank you, for the necklace.
- You're welcome, did you like it?
- Yes, very much.
We sat quiet for a while.
- You wrote that there was something that you wanted me to know, I said to break the silence.
- Oh, I did that hu?
I nodded.
- Right, he looked at me, it's kind of private I guess but they are talking about telling the fans about it soon anyway.
- What?
- Nick and Kevin.
- Yes?
- Nick is gay...
- He is?
- Yupp, or at least he think he is. He's grown up so fast and he's still young you know... Kevin is bisexual and they've got very close and... Well, they are boyfriends.
- Oh, I looked down at my feet.
- Do you have a problem with that?
- No, I shook my head, why would I?
- Some people do.
- Do you?
- What? Don't be silly, they are my friends, why would that change?
- You asked me, then I got the right to ask you.
- Yeah, he looked down at his feet.
- Do you think this is as awkward as I do?
- Maybe worse.
I nodded, I didn't have a clue what to say, and even less what to do.
- I really missed you Lexi, he looked at me, more than words can describe.
- I know what you mean, I smiled.
It was silent again.
- Either we go to bed and sleep, he said and looked at me, or we have sex, you pick.
- What? I looked at him a bit surprised even though that was exactly what was going through my mind.
- Too drastic?
- No, just stating the obvious, I smiled.
- So?
- Hu?
- What's it going to be?
- I dunno, you pick.
- No I won't, you pick.
- Are we going to be talking like this for all eterinty?
- What?
- You pick, no you pick, I looked at him, We sound like two kids.
- Do you like kids?
- What?
- Do you? I mean I do, they are great but then I'm not going to be the one who carries them, he laid down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling.
- What are you talking about?
- Kids. I mean as a guy you don't carry the kids for nine months, like the girl does you know, and we don't have the same obligations. Tell me when to stop please.
- Stop, please, before you say something stupid, I looked at him and smiled.
- Thank you, he smiled back.
It was quiet for a while. I finally laid down beside him and looked at the ceiling.
- This is interesting, I said and smiled.
- I agree, tell me, he looked at me, what do you wanna do?
- I don't know, I looked at him.
- You know, we are only nervous about this cause we haven't seen each other for such a long time.
- Yupp, I agree. There wasn't any trouble last time.
- That's not completely true...
- Okay so what? I wasn't the one who was insecure that time.
- You weren't?
- Okay, a bit.
- Thank you, he smiled and kissed me.
When he broke the kiss I looked at him, I loved him so much and I really wanted to do this but still there was this thing that got in-between, I was pretty sure he noticed it. And of course I knew what it was, my fahter's words...
He gave me that cute smile that only he had and kissed me. I couldn't help the fact that I felt so guilty about not telling him about my real age, I'd tried to push that feeling away the whole time and now afterwards...
- Howie?
- Mm?
- There's something I gotta tell you.
- What is it? He looked at me, still smiling.
- It's... Howie.
- Yeah?
- I'm... I haven't told you the truth...
- What? The smile was gone and his eyes just gave me a confused look.
- I'm not... I'm not 24 years old, I looked carefully at him.
I was so scared that he'd gat mad, I couldn't help that that thought came up even thoug I highly doubted that he'd hit me or anything.
- You're not 24?
- No.
- Then how old are you?
- I'm 17 years old.
- WHAT? He stared at me.
- I'm sorry Howie I really am... I just didn't think that you'd be interested in me if I told you that I was 15 years old.
- And you were right, he looked at me and got up, I slept with a 15-year-old?
- I'm sorry Howie I didn't mean...
- Alexia, I thought that we told each other everything...
- It's just that this was...
- Serious, he walked away.
- Howie?
- I need to think for a while Alexia.
I rolled over on my back and listened to the running water. He was taking a shower at the same time, why not?
It felt like an eternity but when he walked out from the bathroom he sat down beside me.
- Lexi?
- Yes? I looked at him.
- I'm sorry that I got upset, you are still you... it's just... 15?
- I'm sorry.
- Well... I was 25 years old! Almost 26...
- And I was almost 16...
- Still, you are ten years younger than me... Although this makes more sense.
- What do you mean?
- That you are living with your parents, that you didn't study at... What does your parents think?
- My mother got upset and my father yelled at me, I looked at him, Are you mad at me?
- I just... No, I'm not mad, a bit upset but...
I looked up at the ceiling, there was a spot that was darker than the rest of it just a few feet away from the wall. Howie was still asleep, I'd always been that type that woke up early.
I must have looked at that spot for about ten minutes or so when he sat up beside me.
- Good morning Lexi, he smiled and kissed me.
- Good morning, I smiled.
Suddenly I remembered it.
- Oh my God!
- What? He looked surprised at me.
- My parents, I was supposed to be home one hour after the concert ended! I got up and started getting dressed.
- Your parents, he got up and got dressed.
- I'm sorry Howie... I didn't think that it would turn out this way I really didn't...
- It's okay, I wish that I could give you a lift home, but...
- You got things to do?
- Yeah, interviews and stuff...
- It's okay, I'll take the buss, no problem really, that was what they thought I was going to do.
- And you weren't?
- No, I was hoping that I would meet you... And I did...
- Can I come in?
- Kevin?
- Yeah.
- Sure, he said and looked at me.
- I heard you two last night... Oh? And this young lady really is Alexia isn't she?
- Yeah? Why wouldn't I be that? I looked at him.
- No, I just... Didn't you move?
- Yeah, to California.
- Oh, okay.
- What? I looked at Howie for a second.
- What? Oh no, nothing like that, Kevin said and rolled his eyes, I just thought that it was strange that this guy has been sending you letters for so long and started crying on stage cause you'd moved somewhere.
- That what was strange?
- That he went to bed with a girl, Kevin looked at me, She isn't bad at all Howie, you really are pretty.
- You've seen the photo of her, Howie sighed.
- Well yeah, but that could have been one that was to her advantage. But I guess I was mistaking, Alexia, you are very pretty, but you look younger than 24.
- Um, yeah, I looked at Howie, I gotta go though...
- Oh, well I guess that you two wouldn't be able to have too much time together anyway, we got a photo shoot soon, ten minutes to eat breakfast and get to the car.
- Okay, I'll be right there Kev.
Kevin nodded and left.
- You know what, I said.
- What?
- I think it's good that Kev's bisexual, I grinned, then there's a chance for everyone to get that body.
- What?
- Nah, just kidding. But as he talked I started to wonder if you hadn't cheated... You didn't right?
- No, he said and kissed me, why would I?
- Well we are so far away from each other and it's been fifteen months...
- I didn't cheat on you, he looked me in the eyes, did you?
- I can't cheat on myself, I said and rolled my eyes, No, I've been faithful, what did you expect?
- I dunno, a 24 year old?
I just gave him an angry look.
- Okay, that was stupid, he hugged me, I'm sorry.
I slowly opened the door to the house and stepped in. My parents were going to kill me, but it was worth it. I'd missed Howie so much and now when he finally was here... Nothing on this planet could have stopped me to go there.
- WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! He stared at me.
- I'm sorry daddy, I said and hurried in, I'm sorry I'm late...
- That's the least you can say!
- It's gone eight, almost nine hours! My mom hurried over to me.
- I know, but I'm okay, I said calmly.
I knew that under normal circumstances I would have got pissed at them for acting like this, but now it didn't affect me at all. All I could think about was Howie, my wonderful boyfriend how I loved more than anything...
- Where were you?
- With Howie, I said calmly and looked at my father, I met him...
They stared at me for a while. They must have known that that was what had happened, even though they had probably refused to admit it.
- Well? She looked at me, What happened? Did you tell him?
- Yes.
- And?
My father looked at me quietly. I knew he was fighting not to explode in anger. Still I didn't feel like lying to spare anyone's feelings, it felt like no one could hurt me.
- He got upset, I said, but he accepted it...
- HE DID WHAT?!
"Now I recognize you" I thought and looked at my father, pissed again.
I looked at the picture of me and Howie at the beach. So long ago, like a billion years ago. I felt so old now, old but loved. Howie was coming over, I hadn't seen him in three months. It felt so much longer than those fifteen months without him all those years ago.
I couldn't even believe that my little dream had come true, I was Mrs. Howard Dorough now, 22 years old and pregnant. I'd told him, just a couple of minutes ago, over the phone. It was something in my head that told me that it just couldn't wait. I don't know what it was, probably just me wanting to tell him as soon as soon as possible. It wouldn't be long, and then he'd be home and smiling. He made me so happy, and he said I made him happy too.
I turned on the radio and smiled when it was one of the songs we'd listen to that time in the car, when we'd just been laying there, doing nothing at all.
"Here I am again
I've come to see you smile
I know you understand
I have to say again
It's only for a while
And still you're always here
Just waiting for my call
I wish I knew a way
To give more than I do
I want to give it all
It doesn't happen everyday
But it happened to me once before
Those early years I threw away
Now I only have to hear your voice
To make me feel so sure
That your love is why
I want to give it all up
Don't the minutes fly
And the hours just seem so few
With days apart so long
It's hard to spend my time
When I'm so far from you..."
"Come, stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand, hold it tight
I will protect from all around
I will be here, don't you cry
For one so small, you seem so strong
My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm
The bond between us can't be broken
I will be here, don't you cry"
I smiled and picked up the phone. It was probably Howie, asking me to forgive him for being late before he'd even got out of the car.
- Hello? I said happily.
- Mrs. Dorough? A strange voice said.
- Yes?
I turned down the radio a bit, to hear more clearly. The voice was so serious, and definitely not Howie's.
- I'm sorry to have to tell you like this...
- What? What's happen?
- There's been an accident...
- Howie... what's...
I felt how my voice just died away and how the tears built up.
- There's been a car-accident. Your husband didn't make it, the man said calmly like if he didn't care which.
All the strenght just seemed to fade away and I slowly dropped the phone, and slowly sat down on the floor. This wasn't happening, Howie couldn't be dead...
"Why can't they understand the way we feel
They just don't understand what they can't explain
I know we're different, but deep inside us
We're not different at all"
- Mrs.?
"Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes you'll be in my heart
From this day on now and forevermore
Don't listen to them
Because what do they know
We need each other
To have, to hold
They'll see in time I know
We'll show them together"
- Mrs. Dorough?
I barely heard the voice, it felt so distance. I couldn't believe that Howie was gone... This wasn't happening, it just couldn't...
Out of all things I never thought that this would happen. I had always thought that we'd grow old together, since he asked me to marry him. Till death do us apart hadn't meant a car-accident for me, it had meant growing old and die in ones sleep.
What would I tell our child? Other than that Howie had been a loving, caring husband...
- Mrs. Dorough?
"You will be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be in here in my heart always
Always I'll be with you
I'll be with you
I'll be there for you always
Always and always
Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
Cause I'll be there always..."