NOT LIKE IT USED TO BE

Nick looked around. It felt good to be back in the movie business after his three years off. Now he was back, this time without being a Backstreet Boy and 23 years old. It had completely made him collapse when they'd broken up. He'd never thought that they'd actually do it, but it had been for the better. At least they'd ended while they'd been on top, instead of just fading away.

Brian had done a solo-album, and a short tour, but then stopped. He'd said the reson had been that he felt lost. A.J. was still going strong - even though his divorce from Amanda - as a solo-artist, touring the world as Johnny No-Name. Howie had become the owner of half MTV, and hadn't been heard of since. Kevin had taken a lot of beat from the break up, but fallen back on his model-career for Versace.

Nick himself had been a mess for a year before he pulled himself together. He'd tried, he really had, to live a somewhat normal life, but it just hadn't worked. There had been that urge to go back to all the fame again, and now he was back.

When he saw her he couldn't help feeling like he'd seen her before. The thought didn't really make sense, he did recognize her, but the only memeory was a pretty face in the crowd.

When she smiled it made him automatically made him smile back, maybe she worked there, maybe she'd leave soon, but he knew she'd been in the audience once. At least once.

- Nick! Nick Carter!

Nick looked at the man who came walking against him. The producer.

- Yeah?

- I'm sorry, there's been some changes, he started a little nervous, We start shooting in two days instead...

- Oh, Nick said surprised, Why?

- One of the actresses couldn't make it till then, we just found out, he said more secure, I hope you'll find something that interests you...

Nick looked at him for a second, then smiled.

- Sure, he said and looked back to where the brunette had been standing, I think I spotted some... thing...

- Hey, he smiled.

- Hi, she smiled back and looked at him with her brown, almost black, eyes.

- I think I recognize you, Nick said still smiling.

- You should, she said.

- Oh? He said confused.

"Quick, remember!" he thought. But he couldn't. The only picture he got was her standing in the crowd during 'I'll never break your heart', smiling.

- Well, at least I hope you do, she said and smiled.

He was just about to say something when the producer came running.

- Sandra! Thank god I found you, he said relieved, I've been looking all over for you...

Then he looked at Nick.

- I'm sorry, did I interrupt you two?

- Hrm, Nick said a bit uncomfortable, no... not really...

He looked at her. Sandra. It suited her. He watched them leave, talking about something he couldn't hear. She probably worked on the set or something. Or maybe she was related to the producer, maybe both.

Nick sighed and looked around. There was nothing else to do now. He looked at them again. Maybe she was his girlfriend or something, that would be embarrassing. He sighed and tried to remember more about her, but nothing came.

- Hi again, he smiled.

- Hi Nick, Sandra looked at him calmly.

- Sandra is a beautiful name...

- You've told me that one time already...

She looked at him, he could tell sher was remembering something. It seemed to be a painful memory since the tears started to build up. "Please don't let her be one of those girls" he thought, remembering how he'd used to live.

- Do you remember me? She said after forcing the tears away.

- I think I've seen you in the audience, he said carefully, Actually I'm pretty sure I did.

- You have, she said and sighed, Nothing else?

After a moment of hesitation he shook his head.

- I'm sorry...

- Oh it was nothing important, just my virginity...

She said it so calmly that it shocked him. She was one of those girls after all. Nick looked at her carefully, hoping that she wouldn't start crying.

- I'm sorry, he said, are you mad?

He knew he'd promised the majority of the girls that he'd hang out with them and similar things, and he also knew that he'd stood them up most of the times.

- It was a long time ago, Sandra said but avoided to look at him, you can't walk around and be mad for years. It was a stupid thing, but I can't say that I didn't get what I wanted either...

He nodded quietly. Maybe she was one of the few he'd actually kept his promises to. Or maybe he hadn't promised her anything ag all.

- Did you sleep around a lot back then? She looked at him.

There wasn't any anger or hate in her eyes or voice, just curiosity. He nodded and looked at the table next to them.

- Oh, she nodded, So I was nothing special...

- I'm sorry, he practically whispered.

- It's okay, Sandra smiled, I didn't mind loosing my virginity to you back then. At least I didn't get pregnant...

He looked at her. He was glad that he wasn't a father, at least not what he knew about.

Nick looked up.

- We're starting now, the producer said.

- Sure, he got up and then he saw her, Sandra?

- Yeah, the producer said a bit stressed, leading actress, you've met her before...

- I know...

She must have felt that he was watching her, cause she looked at him. She walked over to him, smiling.

- I always wanted to be an actress, she whispered, You helped me to get here... You made me believe that I could, as long as I tried...

He looked at her and smiled. Now he could remember her. She'd been beautiful back then too. He remembered how they'd talked for a long time too.

"I probably didn't help her" he thought "Maybe the music did, but I didn't..."

He looked at her and was amazed by how far she'd gone. From just another girl to leading actress in a big movie. She was a star, like she'd dreamt about for such a long time.