I wrote this when I was in school on little notes (instead of doing what I should have been doing), just found them and decided to write it down, it's really wierd.
Characters:
NSync..................... as themselves
Britney Spears......... as herself
BSB........................ as themselves
Me.......................... as my psycho self
Okay, BSB, 'NSync and Britney goes in my class (oh no... not 'NSync and Britney Spears, isn't school torture enough?), and so did Nick's abusive girlfriend Mandah/Mandy/Amanda/Willa/whatever, until she died or actually she was murdered by someone, by who is still a mystery (but you can always guess).
Nick quickly got over it, and I'm his new girlfriend (Yay!)...
Music class
Teacher: So, we need a female singer... any volunteers?
Britney: Me! Like, you know me! *jumps up and down* Take, you know me!!
Teacher: *looks around in the class* Anyone?
Britney: ME!! *keeps jumping up and down*
Justin: *studies the effect the jumping got on Britney's new boobs*
Teacher: No one? Then I just have to pick one... you know I have to... *looks a bit irritated at the class*
Britney: ME! Like pick me!!
Nick: *hands me a guitar*
Me: *pushes the guitar under Britney as she jumps up*
Britney: *lands on the guitar and breaks it completely* *falls down on the floor, nose first* LIKE OUCH! *bounces on her silicon boobs*
Class: *giggles*
Teacher: Miss Spears! *irritated* You'll have to pay for that guitar!
Britney: Can I, you know sing? *gets up*
Kevin (this is his one and only line, as usual, enjoy it): No.
Class: *agrees*
Teacher: *sighs* Okay, Britney, go to the nurse, you're bleeding...
Britney: Um... *realizes that she probably broke her nose* Like, okay... *hurries out of the classroom*
Teacher: So, anyone who wants to sing? *looks at the class again*
'NSync and BSB: *raises their hands*
Teacher: Good! Lance! It's good to see that a girl finally decides to sing...
Lance: I'm not a girl!
Teacher: *surprised* You're not?
Lance: *mad* I had PE with the guys when we were separated! What do you think?!
Teacher: Oh... Well then you can't sing. Sit down again.
Lance: But...
Teacher: Since you're not a girl you won't be aloud to sing this song. Sit down.
Lance: But I am a gi...
Teacher: You just said you were a guy, decide.
Lance: I'm a... girl?
Teacher: *sighs* Let's just change song instead...
Joey: *to Lance* Dude, I didn't know you were a girl... but I guess it's true, you don't have a...
Lance: SHUT UP!
Teacher: *sighs* So, anyone who wants to sing 'I want it that way'?
BSB: *raises their hands*'
Teacher: Good! Finally! Nick, Alexander...
A.J: A.J! It's A.J!
Teacher: *ignores A.J.* ...Howie and Brian.
Brian: But my cousin...
Teacher: Who?
Kevin: *still holding up his hand*
Brian: Kevin...
Teacher: *looks at the class* I don't see Kevin here... hmm... Is he in school today?
Kevin: *stands up, still holding up his hand*
A.J: He's right here! *points at Kevin*
Teacher: *mumbles* Good god... he's started seeing things that aren't there too... *cough* drugs *cough* Of course, Kevin, you can sing too...
Kevin: *smiles and follows the others over to the mikes*
BSB: *starts singing*
Kevin: *realizes that his mike isn't working* *sighs* *goes back to his seat again*
Dining room.
The 'NStinkers are sitting by one table, together with Britney Spears. Brian, Kevin, Howie and A.J. are sitting by one table, and Nick and me are sitting in a corner talking about... um... something.
Britney: *picking in her food* This is like, you know gross!
Joey: *looks up from his huge pile of food* Can I have it?
Britney: Like, sure.
Lance: You know...
J.C: What?
Lance: Mabye it's just my imagination but...
Chris: *looks at Lance*
Lance: Some of my knives are gone, I think...
Justin: The old?
Lance: Yeah! They are missing. I can't find them anywhere!
J.C: I'm sure they'll show up...
Lance: I guess I just misplaced them... *sighs*
Over at the BSB's table
Howie: I can't believe he didn't let you sing Kevin...
Kevin: *nods*
A.J: I can't believe he still calls me Alexander...
Brian: Where's Frack? *turns around and tries to spot his best friend*
Over at Nick's and my corner
Nick: It feels like we've forgot something...
Me: I know... *thinks* I can't figure out what it is...
Nick: *thinks* Um... I guess it can't be that important then...
Me: *nods*
Britney: Nat, I like, you know need to, you know talk to like you...
Me: *mutters a long line of curses, since I hate Britney* *follows Britney* What?
Howie: You see him?
Brian: I think it's him... Britney's in the way...
A.J: Is that Nat who she's talking to?
Brian: Seems like it...
Howie: She looks mad...
Britney: ... fat...
Me: *knocks down Britney with one punch, which breaks her nose*
Britney: OUCH! Like my, you know nose!
A.J: Looks like someone called Nick fat...
Howie: Yeah...
Brian: He's there... How come he doesn't sit with us anymore?
Howie: He didn't when... um... Mandah lived either...
Brian: Mandah made him... Do you think Nat makes him too?
Kevin: *shrugs his shoulders*
That night
Lance's living room
Lance: JOEY! Stop eating all the food!
Joey: *with his mouth full* What do you mean?
Lance: I mean, if you eat everything there is there won't be any food left!
Joey: But I'm growing!
Chris: Yeah, he's growing, but on the wrong places...
Justin: *laughs*
J.C: *looks at Chris with an empty look* I don't get it...
Chris: *sighs* Shut up.
Lance: *looks at the watch* Where's Britney? She should have been here half an hour ago.
J.C: She was going to fix her nose...
Joey: LANCETTE!
Lance: My name is NOT Lancette! *gets up* What's your problem now?
Joey: You're out of food...
Lance: What a surprise... Whad do you want me to do about it?
Joey: I'm hungry...
Lance: There's no more food, sorry, you ate it all.
Joey: Can we call for a pizza or ten?
The calm (let's over look that Lance wants to hit Joey) is disturbed by a huge crash upstairs, followed by curses.
'NSync: *turns to the stairs* Hu?
Lance: What's going on up there? *hurries up the stairs* Somebody is trying to steal my...
Justin: Um... ya what?
J.C: Where did he go?
Chris: *looks surprised to where Lance disappeared*
Joey: Food? He got food up there??? *looks at the others*
Justin: I...
J.C: YES! He does!
Chris: Does he?
J.C: *whispers to Chris* If we say he does he'll go and won't bother us for a while at least...
Chris: Oh... Yes! Lance got food up there!
Joey: *big smile* *hurries against the stairs*
Lance's body rolls down the stairs and bumps into the wall.
Justin: Lance?
Joey: Lancette?
J.C: Oh, look, he got a knife in his head and seems to have been stabbed several times in the back...
Joey: Food! *hurries up the stairs*
Killer: Shit! Not Joey!
Joey: FOOD!
J.C: He doesn't get that there's no food there...
Chris: And of course he doesn't react to the fact that Lance is DEAD!
Justin: *shrugs his shoulders* Well, it ain't like he be doing much anyway.
J.C: That's true...
Chris: And he weren't exactly a main interest of the fans either...
J.C: Well, neither are you...
Justin: *looks up the stairs* Joey?
On the second floor
Joey: Where's the food???? *looks around* *sees someone holding a bloody knife*
Killer: Crap, not you...
Joey: Food!
Killer: *sighs* Over here...
Joey: *walks over* Where?
Killer: *stabs Joey in the back*
Joey: What ya doing?
Killer: *curses* You're too fat for the knife!!
Joey: Where's the food? *starts to get a little bit suspicious*
Killer: Um... *hurries over to the stairs* Over here!
Joey: *follows* Did you eat the food?
Killer: Of course I didn't...
Joey: Okay... *looks down the stairs* Uh... there's no food down there... I've checked.
Killer: *pushes Joey*
Joey: *can't even feel it*
Killer: *curses* You fat bastard! *pushes even harder*
Joey: You know, maybe there is some food down there....
Killer: *grabs a bat* *hits Joey over the head*
Down stairs
Justin: Joey?
Chris and J.C: JUSTIN LOOK OUT! *runs away from the stairs as Joey's body comes rolling down*
Justin: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *smashed between Joey's body and the wall*
Chris and J.C: Oh my god!
Chris: Justin!!!
J.C: Somebody actually succeeded in killing Joey? I've been trying for years! This isn't fair!!
Chris: I just lost my best friend!
J.C: Well you can lose more than that... *points up the stairs* The killer is still here...
Chris: Right... *looks up the stairs* Your turn to go up there.
J.C: My turn?! Why isn't it your turn?
Chris: Cause it's your turn!
And while Chris and J.C. fights over whose turn it is to go up the stairs and die, the killer leaves the building.
20 minutes later
Britney: Hi! Hello!
J.C. and Chris: Britney!
J.C: Isn't it HER turn to go upstairs?
Chris: Well, she does go upstairs every time she's here...
J.C: *looks at Chris*
Chris: Oh, right! Britney!
Britney: Like, you know, yeah! *ignores the three dead bodies by the stairs*
J.C: Can you go upstairs?
Britney: Like, totally! *looks at them*
Chris: Well?
Britney: Oh! *starts walking up the stairs* See! No problem! Are you like coming with me, you know?
J.C: We'll be right up...
Britney: *walks up* *slips in a puddle of blood, falls and rolls down the stairs*
J.C: Okay... he's still there...
Britney: Like OUCH! Totally, you know!
Chris: *stares at Britney* You are alive?
J.C: You're not dead?
Britney: I'm like... Britney Spears, you know. *gets up* I think I like, you know, broke my nose like again...
The next day
Dining room.
Me: It feels like we've forgot to do something...
Nick: But... um... *thinks*
Me: Um... *thinks*
10 minutes later
Nick: I have no idea.
Me: Neither do I... Can't be that important...
Nick: I got a feeling it is important...
Me: Shouldn't we remember it then?
Nick: Probably...
Brian, Kevin and Howie walks over and sits down beside us.
Howie: What are you guys talking about?
Nick and me: Nothing!
Brian: Nothing?
Nick and me: *nods*
Brian: Okay.
Howie: *looks over at 'NSync's table* Aren't they a few people short?
Kevin: *nods*
Howie: That big guy is gone... and that... um... that guy with the thing on his head...
Brian: *turns around* And the albino...
Me: Really? *looks at Nick*
Nick: Interesting *looks at me*
Howie: Do you know where they are?
Nick and me: Us? Why do you think that!?
Kevin: *looks funny at Nick and me*
Nick: What?
Kevin: *shakes his head*
A.J: *walks over and sits down* Guess what I just heard...
Me: What?
Nick: *looks nervously at A.J.*
A.J: That Fat-one, of those guys *gestures to 'NSync's table* killed that geek and Lancette...
Me: Really? *looks at Nick*
Nick: That's interesting *looks at me*
Brian: Are you two talking in some special language or what?
Nick and me: What? What are you talking about?
Howie: You are acting pretty nervous...
Nick: Well, um...
Me: Someone got murdered!
Nick: Exactly! We got the right to be nervous! What if the killer is here! *glares at me*
Me: Yeah! *glares at Nick*
A.J: Well, that Fat-one died too... they say he fell down the stairs...
Me: So there's no killer lose? *looks at A.J.*
A.J: Unless someone else killed those guys then no.
Nick: Well that's good... I think...
A.J: They died in Lancette's house. That guy with the face... um... Chris, Britney and that other guy... with the nose...
Brian: HEY!
A.J: Not you. That guy! *points at J.C.*
J.C: Hu?
A.J: Nothing. *looks at Nick* They were there too.
Nick: But... what if they are the killers...
Nick and me: *looks at each other*
Me: *grins*
Howie: Here we go again...
Me: *giggle*
Kevin: *looks at me*
Me: *giggle*
Brian: *stares at me*
Me: *laughs*
A.J: Nick, make her stop!
Me: *laughing uncontrollably*
Nick: Nat...
Me: MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Nick: NAT!
Me: Um... What? I'm sorry, I didn't hear...
Everyone: *stares at me*
Me: Well, I'M SORRY!
Everyone: *goes back to his or her own business*
BSB: *stares at me*
Me: You can stop staring now, this isn't a freak-show. If that is what you want, Britney is right over there...
BSB: *tries to focus on the food*
PE class
Teacher: *looks irritated at me* And why aren't you changed?
Me: I'm... um... sick?
Teacher: *looks at me*
Me: I've got the flue! I got to go home! Bye. *gets up*
Teacher: You are failing...
Me: I know... *hurries away from all that PE means*
Britney: I can't be here today.
Teacher: Why not?
Britney: I have to get my nose fixed! *points at her very abused nose*
Teacher: Good god! Get away from me!
Britney: *leaves class*
Teacher: *sighs* Isn't there someone missing?
Chris: J.C. is climbing in the ropes in the other hall...
Teacher: Get him over here at once!
Chris: Okay... *leaves*
Teacher: But isn't there someone that's still missing?
Howie: Joey.
Teacher: Who?
A.J: Fat-one!
Teacher: Okay... like he ever did anything here anyway... *starts taking notes* But there's someone more... Britney's fixing her nose, Nat decided that this was too boring, Nick is here, J.C.'s coming, Kevin is... *looks up* here... Brian is here, A.J. here, Fat-one is dead...
Class: *gasps*
Teacher: *ignores the class* ... so is Lancette...
Class: *gasps again*
Teacher: Howie's here, Chris is coming... and Justin is dead too.
Class: *applauds*
Teacher: And everyone else is here. *looks at the watch* That only took us 5 minutes. Do you kids know how much five minutes is when we only have a 40-minute lesson?
Class: *sighs*
Teacher: *talks for 10 minutes about how much time they lost cause they weren't there in time* *looks at the watch again* WHERE'S CHRIS AND J.C.?!
Chris: *runs into the room* There's been an accident!
Teacher: I know! You are 15 minutes late!
Chris: Actually I was here 10 minutes ago...
Teacher: DO YOU KNOW WHAT 15 MINUTES IS WHEN YOU ONLY HAVE A 40-MINUTE LESSON?
Chris: Oh, great...
Teacher: *starts babbling about how important it is to be on time, for another 10 minutes* NOW WHERE IS J.C.?!
Chris: There's been an accident...
Teacher: WHAT?!
Chris: J.C. kinda hurt his food...
Teacher: He broke it?
Chris: No, just stepped a little bit wrong, but he refuses to come to class...
Teacher: Oh... *looks at the watch* NOW WE ONLY GOT 15 MINUTES LEFT! *stares at Chris* The rest of the class can leave, Chris and J.C. are staying and they are going to run for half and hour non-stop!
Chris: Oh... just what I always dreamed about...
Class: *hurries away*
Teacher: *looks at Chris* YOU JUST TOOK 25 MINUTES OF MY CLASS! NOW WHERE'S J.C.?!
Chris: *weak voice* In the other PE...
Teacher: *interrupts* Let's go! *pulls Chris with him*
The next day
Math
Brian: *whispers to Kevin* They found J.C. dead yestarday...
Kevin: *nods*
A.J: *mumbles in his sleep* Yeah, yeah, I love you... get your clothes off now...
Howie: *kicks him under the bench* Wake up!
A.J: *mumbles something and ignores Howie*
Nick: *looks at me*
Me: *looks at Nick*
Nick: *whispers* We have to find out what it is...
Me: *whispers* It can't be that important if we can't remember it...
Nick: I think it is important...
Me: Then why can't we remember it?
Nick: Good point.
Later
Outside the dining room.
Britney: *looks at Nick and me* So when I like get in there, you know I'll like, you know press the like red button?
Nick and me: *nods*
Britney: Like okay!
Nick: There's something...
Me: It's not important! It can't be important! We would have remembered it by now if it was!
Nick: *gives up* Okay, let's go then.
Britney: Like, what? Are you, you know leaving? But the like, you know present then?
Nick: Well...
Me: We already know what it is...
Nick: So we don't have to stay!
Britney: Oh! *pretends to understand* Like, bye, you know.
Nick and me: Bye! *hurries away*
Britney: Um... like okay, bye... Like red button, press red button... Like totally! *walks into the dining room and over to Chris*
Chris: What's that?
Britney: A, you know present!
Chris: Really?
Britney: *nods* Totally!
Chris: So?
Britney: Hu?
Chris: Who's it to?
Britney: I like, you know don't remember...
Chris: Oh... can we open it?
Britney: It like, you know doesn't open, I was like supposed to, you know press a red... you know, something...
Chris: This button?
Britney: Like, yeah!
Chris: *presses the button*
Nick: I remember!
Me: What?
Nick: The important part!
Me: What?! What is it?
Nick: To get the others out of the dining room!
Me: OH MY GOD! HOW COULD WE FORGET THAT?!
All of a sudden a huge explosion is heard. And that was the death of everyone in the dining room... oops...
Yeah, now you know what's going on in my mind when I'm in school...