SURVIVOR

MANDY

Nickname: Blond bimbo, wannabe Mandy Moore, wannabe Britney #4, teenybopper, moron.
Age: 14
Work: Member of SideAlley Girls, even though she'd be kicked out if it hadn't been for that contract.
Most valuable asset: Joey will get so excited that he's going to be on an island with a teeny that he might get a heart attack (you can always hope).
Least valuable asset: She'll annoy everyone.
Special thing: Little ugly strings to have around her arm.
Purpose on the show: She's 14 and ANNOYING, everyone will love her.
Quote on why to be in the show: "Um... I dunno."
Chances of survival: Fairly good.
Team: North.

BRIAN LITTRELL

Nickname: B-Rok, Bri, Frick.
Age: 25
Work: Member of the Backstreet Boys.
Most valuable asset: His cuteness. And Tyke.
Least valuable asset: His wife... Why are they all taken?
Special thing: The bible.
Purpose on the show: To detect all cameras and warn the others so they won't do something stupid, then do something stupid himself.
Quote on why to be in the show: *funny noises and faces*
Chances of survival: Depending on if he gives his food to Tyke or not.
Team: South.

JOSHUA CHASEZ

Nickname: J.C., J.S. (more logical), crackhead, pothead, druggy, "My name is boredom, real boredom"
Age: 24
Work: 23 hours of the day he sleeps, but the other hour he spends singing all leads of 'NSync, since Justin can't sing.
Most valuable asset: His Hitler-ish ways should naturaly make him the leader of the camp, and things will be done quickly.
Least valuable asset: He will probably sleep through all the episodes.
Special thing: Crack.
Purpose on the show: Since he will suffer fom abstinence of drugs all through the show, the sadistic people watching will have something to laugh at.
Quote on why to be in the show: *stoned*
Chances of survival: Low, very low.
Team: West.

BRITNEY SPEARS

Nickname: Bit-Bit, Bratney, Bitchney, Whorney, Shitney, Airhead Queers, Boob job Spears, Blow job Spears, Silicon Spears, Silicon Slut, Plastic-fantastic, Plastic freak, Whory Spice, Slutty Spice, Queen of whores, Queen of sluts, Miss I'll-screw-like-anyone-you-know-for-a-record-deal, cheep whore (and then all those other things the author also calls her).
Age: Just barely legal.
Work: Solo "singer" and prostitute.
Most valuable asset: She'll keep Joey busy for a while.
Least valuable asset: She doesn't have an ounce of talent in her whole plastic body and will annoy everyone.
Special thing: Shampoo.
Purpose on the show: Just in case there's someone who doesn't hate Joey. And to make sure the pedophiles watch.
Quote on why to be in the show: *[censored]*
Chances of survival: Low. Everyone hates her guts.
Team: East.

EPISODE 2

*stupid music plays*

*camera shows a little hermit crab crawling around on the beach*

*camera shows team South's red flag and then the camp*

Christina: *shivering* Brian... please let me in... it's cold...

Brian: (inside the house) No!

Christina: Please... I'm wet and cold and I haven't been able to sleep all night cause Joey came and he had left Justin with Britney to play with and...

Brian: I heard you.

Christian: Please let me in. *cries*

Brian: No!

*camera shows the cloudy sky that's slowly clearing up*

*camera shows Britney and Joey looking at the ground*

Britney: Can you like believe this!?

Joey: The food!

Britney: Why did he like, you know do this?

Joey: I knew we shouldn't actually have left him alone in the middle of the night, I knew it!

Britney: At least we like know why we you know barely have like any food left...

*camera shows a little altar with food thrown around, and rise that have been shaped into a horse, although it's completely ruined due to flies and rain*

Joey: I'm never sleeping with Lance again!

Britney: I'll like think before I you know sleep with him like again. *starts twirling her hair*

Joey: I'll starve! *throws himself at the altar and cries*

Britney: Like hello! I'm going to starve too!

Joey: I'm HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!

*camera goes into a blur as Joey and Britney keeps complaining about the wasted food*

A.J: *looks really stoned* *sniff*

J.C: *looks at A.J., hoping that he'll share as soon as the contest is over*

A.J: *rubs nose* Alright, we got the umm... third? *looks at cameraman* No? Oh, second. Our second competition. West is going to compete against North, and South against West. Two *sniff* contestants from each team. *sniff, sniff* *rubs nose* Errr... *looks at the camera* I got a cold. The teams are going to have one contestant up climbing at this cliff in *sniff* security thingies...

*some mumble is heard behind the camera*

A.J: Uh? Yeah, whatever they are called. *rubs nose* They are there so they won't fall and hurt themselves anyway. Up on the cliffs there are eggs, and yeah, you know *sniff* The other contestant is going to catch the eggs that the one that are climbing are going to throw down to them. The *sniff, sniff* team that on two and a half minute gets *rubs nose* the most whole eggs down here wins. We have some kind of price that uhh... Yeah, we got a price anyway. For the one that wins... *sniffs*

*camera shows the teams*

A.J: *sighs* We'll start with North and West anyway *sniff* Nick and Mandy are going to compete for North, and *sniff* Justin and J.C. for West.

*both teams gets ready, while Kevin and Sara sits in the shadow resting calmly*

*start signal goes*

*Mandy and J.C. starts climbing up, with some help from the security guys in the other end of the climbing equipment*

J.C: *starts throwing down eggs to Justin before Mandy even got halfway up, since he's just a toothpick and weighs less than Mandy*

Mandy: *finally gets up and starts throwing eggs down to Nick*

Nick: *panics* SHE'S THROWING THINGS AGAIN!!!!!! KEVIN!!! *runs away and accidentally knocks Justin over*

Sara: *gets up* *grabs the one egg Justin already saved* *throws at Mandy* *misses*

Mandy: Huh? *keeps throwing eggs down anyway*

Brian: *holding Tyke, just in case he'd attack someone again*

Christina and Britney: *bragging to each other about what they've done so far, and what they've won*

Christina: *holds up Grammy* Well, I won this so ha!

Britney: *pouts*

Christina: They count vocal range Britney. *smiles proudly*

Nick: *hides behind Sara, who is now at her third egg*

Sara: *throws it, and actually hit Mandy this time*

Mandy: Hey! *looks down to see who it was*

J.C: Justin! Move it!

Justin: *fights the tears and keeps running around to catch the eggs, that keeps breaking in his hands*

Nick: *cries*

A.J: And the time is up! *sniff* As we can see, thanks to Tasha who's filming instead of Autumn...

Autumn: *rolls eyes while watching Kevin*

A.J: That team North didn't get any eggs at all *shakes head* And West got... one egg. So, unless one of the other teams can beat that *sniff* West will win.

*Mandy and J.C. are taken down*

J.C: *grabs Justin by the ear and starts muttering something about teaching him a lesson*

Sara: *too busy comforting Nick to give a shit about her teammates*

A.J: Okay, can we get the next contestants ready?

*Britney and Brian gets into their equipment*

*start signal goes*

Nick: *cries* She was doing it again... *sobs*

Kevin: *looks at Sara, happy to not be the one to comfort Nick again*

Joey: *spots an egg coming at him* Oh! Oh! Oh! *catches it, and eats it, even if it's raw*

Christina: Gross! *keeps avoiding the eggs that Brian throws her*

Brian: CATCH THE DAMN EGGS CHRISTINA!

Christina: *looks up* But they break! I'll get all sticky and...

Britney: *throws an egg, without aiming*

Christina: *gets hit in the face* *gasps* YOU BITCH!!

Brian and Joey: Huh? *looks at Christina and Britney*

Britney: Like, what? *confused* *looks at Christina*

Christina: *takes off her shoe* Take this! *throws shoe at Britney*

Britney: *gets hit in the butt* *looses her balance and is close to falling*

Brian: *laughs*

Joey: No more food? *pouts*

Britney: OW! That hurt!

Christina: Good!

Justin and J.C: *coming back*

Justin: *crying*

A.J: And time is up. And South wins, after having *sniff* one whole egg too... in the sand since Miss Aguilera didn't feel like catching it. *rolls eyes* *sniff*

J.C: *thugs A.J.'s sleeve* Can I have some *cough* drugs *cough*?

A.J: No way, it's mine. You could have taken your own with you. *rubs nose* Anyway, North and East lost, having no eggs at all. And West wins, cause they got their last egg the fastest. *sniff, sniff* So... *picks up a coin* *flips it* North lost. The rest of you can take it easy, members of *sniff* North can start planning who they want to vote out of their team. West will find some extra food in their camp, that's the *sniff* price.

Nick: *points at Mandy and keeps crying*

Sara: *keeps trying to comfort him*

A.J: Alright, I'm going back to the hotel, Amanda...

Tasha: It's Tasha!

A.J: Oh, sorry, you just look so alike. Oh well, Tasha and Autumn are *sniff* coming with me. The rest of you, you have as fun *sniff* as you can here on the island. Without drugs.

J.C: *just barely keeps the tears back*

*camera shows Britney of team East*

Britney: *giggle* I'm like just going to you know talk about what's like happen? *fakes a smile* Oh, okay. *giggle* I've had a great time you know. Not much food you know, but like a lot of sex. Justin you know comes to like visit at times you know, when J.C. and like Sara lets him leave. I don't like Sara you know. I think she's like out after you know my man. Justin you know. But like anyway, Lance got like sent home last week. That was like, you know so weird. I mean, I know I like voted on him but that was like just cause, you know Joey said that I should. I dunno why I like voted on him you know, or like what it was about. Anyway, the last night Lance was here you know, he had like another sacrificing to like, you know Toby. *twirls hair* Now Joey's like upset cause he like used most of the rise to you know, make a small horse, in honor of like Toby. I know cause I've like been with him when he's you know been having like voodoo sacrificing to Toby you know. At times it like requires ritual sex too you know. *giggles* I'm like more than happy to help you know. *stops twirling her hair* But Christina, that bitch, she like threw a... a shoe! She threw a shoe at me you know! It like hurt, and I you know almost fell and I could have like popped my boobs you know and that wouldn't have been like good you know. Then what would I like sell? I mean, I like need my boobs to you know, to sell my records, cuz, I like sell sex you know, and I can't be like flat chested to do that you know. *twirls hair again* I'm like never going to you know forgive her, I'm going to like hate her for like the rest of my life you know.

*camera shows Christina of team South*

Christina: *crying* Britney's so mean! She threw an egg at me on purpose! Just cause I won the Grammy and she didn't *sobs* I hate her! She deserves to be in the same camp as Joey, he's so annoying and he's not happy with just one screw, oh no, you have to do him at least four times a day... *looks into the camera* I want to go home. I don't want to stay. Brian doesn't want to sleep with me, he won't let me into the house, Tyke hates me, everyone hates me!! *crying hysterically*

*camera shows Justin of team West*

Justin: *rubbing the bump on his head* J.C.'s mean to I. *pouts* It ain't fair ya know. I did mah best at da competition an all an he STILL got mad ya know. Sara kneed mah uh... little Justin... before the competition so it wasn't mah fault dat I couldn't run dat good. An dat Nick Carter ran into mah too, an dat hurt since I fell to da ground too, an he stepped on mah stomach too. But I ain't seeing Sara kneeing him, oh no... *sighs* Joey's gettin his all da time, while I only get some from Britney when I've done mah chores at da camp an can go ova to their place or if da bitch come ova to mah camp. *pouts* Dat ain't fair yo.

*camera shows Kevin of team North*

Kevin: I... am... going... to... make... this... short... since... we... don't... have... much... time... left... on... this... episode. I... am... going... to... vote... on... Mandy... cause... otherwise... Nick... will... get... mad... at... me. It's... that... simple. Although... SideAlley... Girls... are... cool. And... since... we... are... short... on... time... I... should... hurry... and... thank... all... the... fans... out... there... thank... you. And... I'm... only... voting... on... Mandy... cause... Nick's... in... my... group, it's... not... because... she's... annoying, a... plague... and... a... pain... in... the... ass... or... a... little... brat... cause... she's... way... better... than... 'NStink. 'NSync... are... evil. I... just... have... to... warn... all... you... out... there... since... I... know... and... we... don't... have... much... time... left. I... just... have... to... tell... you... that... um... we, the... Backstreet... Boys, respect... 'NSync... as... musical... artists... but... they... are... evil... so... you... know... kids.

*the rest of the little interview was cut out cause it took too long time, was redundant and made practically no sense*

*camera shows the contestants sitting on two benches, at least most of them*

J.C: *laying on the ground* *some suffering noises and cries for drugs are heard*

A.J: Welcome to the second voting, this time it's North that's going to vote someone out. Are you guys ready? *looks at Kevin, Nick and Mandy*

Nick: *sobs* Yeah.

Kevin: I... think... we... are, I... have... written... down... who... I'm... going... to... vote... off... this... island... cause... I... was... told... to... do... that. So... I... am... ready... and... I... think... the... others... are... too.

A.J: Thank you Kevin *sigh* Just put the notes in this little urn and of one of you go, where depends on who it is...

*some more cries is heard from J.C.*

Justin: *taps Sara on her shoulder* Ain't we suppose to help J-Dawg yo?

Sara: *shrugs shoulders* *sighs*

Justin: Ya sure?

Sara: *hisses* Leave me alone!

Joey: (who is sitting next to Sara) I didn't do anything!

Sara: Not you! Ugh! *mutters* I hate this fucking island.

Joey: Oh... *smirks* *lays arm around Sara*

Sara: *gives Joey a pissed look* Move your arm or lose it.

Joey: Um, sorry. *moves closer to Britney*

A.J: Okay *picks up the first note* One vote for Nick.

Nick: She threw things at me again... *sobs some more*

A.J: Uh... okay Nick, that's okay. She won't do that again. *looks at the next note* Mandy.

Mandy: One for me? Oh, okay.

A.J: *looks at the last note* And another one for Mandy. Two to one, and Mandy is going to my hotel too... errr... home. I mean home.

Mandy: What? Are you telling me I won't get a chance to sleep with Justin too? *confused*

Joey: But I thought you liked me...

Mandy: Eehhh... right. *fakes a smile* Whatever you say Joe.

A.J: Just come with me and... uh... you'll get a chance to do Justin some other time.

Mandy: Oh, cool.

*camera shows team South's red flag, then zooms out and shows the camp*

Brian and Christina: *sitting by the fire toasting marshmallows*

Tyke: *asleep in Brian's lap*

Christina: It's nice like this, don't you think? *smiles*

Brian: *sighs*

Christina: Can I sleep in the house tonight? Please? I'll do anything *grabs Brian's arm*

Brian: Whad did I tell you about touching me?!

Christina: Oh, sorry *lets go* *moves a bit away from him* But can I?

Brian: I'm sorry, but there's only two beds.

Christina: But, you only need one.

Brian: Excuse me, but where do you think Tyke should sleep then? Do you think he should sleep on the ground??

Christina: Um... no?

Brian: *suddenly starts making funny noises*

Christina: What is it? What did I do??

Brian: A camera! *looks at cameraman* Hello! *keeps making weird noises and faces*

Christina: *sighs*

*camera goes into a blur*

*camera shows team West's green flag*

Justin: *working at a house for himself, since he's not allowed inside the tent*

Sara: *watching J.C.*

J.C: *laying in the sand* I need... *breathing heavily* please... someone...

Sara: *grins*

J.C: Drugs... please... *shivers* I... I need them... *looks at Sara* please... I'll... I'll do anything...

Sara: I don't know...

J.C: Anything... I swear... *shivers*

Sara: *sits down next to J.C. and whispers something in his ear*

J.C: Deal... just please...

Sara: *goes to the tent*

Justin: I gotta ax ya J-Dawg, what ya doin with dat Sara yo? *looks at J.C., confused*

J.C: I... need...

Justin: Ya booze? Man I don't think ya get any here. Mah bitch be comin ova lata if dat would help?

J.C: Drugs... *shivers* I need them... now...

Sara: *comes out of the tent, with a jar* Remember, you only get what I give you.

J.C: *nods* *reaches out for whatever Sara will give him*

Justin: What be dat yo?

Sara: Just my pills. *gives J.C. two* There. But don't forget what you promised.

J.C: *takes the pills immediately* *shakes head* I swear...

Sara: Good *evil grin*

J.C: *out cold*

Justin: Yo, what was that ya gave mah G?

Sara: Just my, hrm... pills. They are pretty strong though. He'll wake up in an hour or so.

Justin: Why do ya need dat?

Sara: *looks Justin in the eyes with the most evil look ever* Wanna take a guess? *grins*

Justin: *shakes head* Naw, I be fine yo.

Sara: Yeah, you better be... Now will you start making dinner? *goes into the tent again*

Justin: *looks at J.C.* Yo, J-Dawg, ya okay man?

*stupid music*