SURVIVOR

NICKOLAS CARTER

Nickname: Nick, Chaos, Frack, Sara's future husband.
Age: 20
Work: The baby of the Backstreet Boys.
Most valuable asset: Sara loves him to death and would kill anyone who hurt him.
Least valuable asset: Sara loves him to death and would kill anyone who hurt him.
Special thing: Fishing equipment.
Purpose on the show: Teenyboppers will watch, and hate Justin.
Quote on why to be in the show: "My mom said I should so she could get more money..."
Chances of survival: High. Sara will do everything in her power to protect him.
Team: North.

CHRISTINA AGUILERA

Nickname: Almost-albino-girl, blond bimbo, Britney #2.
Age: Legal.
Work: Whore, singer and slut (well, sometimes she does it for free)
Most valuable asset: Sara won't kill Britney as soon as she sees her, Christina will work as distraction.
Least valuable asset: HELLO! It's Christina!! Take a guess! (*coughcoughSTDscoughcough*)
Special thing: Grammy.
Purpose on the show: If Beth won't scare pirates away Christina will work as a trade to let the others go.
Quote on why to be in the show: "Britney were going to be on and since I'm so much better than her I thought I'd beat her, just like I did at the Grammies. They DO count vocal range, Britney."
Chances of survival: Hopefully low.
Team: South.

SARA

Nickname: Sar, Psycho, Miss Everyone-deserves-to-die.
Age: 16
Work: Member of SideAlley Girls, although she only stays cause she signed the contract.
Most valuable asset: Very determined.
Least valuable asset: Very determined not to work if it can be avoided. And her mental problems.
Special thing: Her pills (to help her with her mental issues)
Purpose on the show: She's pretty, and people watching will need someone to tell the truth about how it is on the island. Plus they were a contestant short so...
Quote on why to be in the show: "I'll kill Britney if I get a chance."
Chances of survival: Low, risks of throwing herself of a cliff or provoke a snake to bite are very big when she realizes who are in her team.
Team: West.

JOSEPH FATONE JR.

Nickname: Joey, Phat-one, Fat-one, male whore, daddy.
Age: 23
Work: Pimping Britney.
Most valuable asset: Eeeeeeeeeehhhhh... That's a good question.
Least valuable asset: All those STDs he will bring with him. The fact that he's most likely to have most of the females on the island knocked up by the first episode.
Special thing: Condoms.
Purpose on the show: So everyone watching will have someone to hate, and so everyone at the island will have someone to hate. And so his kids and their moms will watch (now there's a big audience).
Quote on why to be in the show: "I'm actually a member of 'NSync... and hopefully I'll actually... uh..."
Chances of survival: Low. He'll be the first one to go if cannibalism breaks out since nobody will miss him.
Team: East.

EPISODE 3

*stupid music plays as the camera shows a beautiful beach*

*screams suddenly disturbs the peaceful beach*

Britney: JOEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joey: What? *crawls out of the pathetic house*

Britney: All the food is like gone!!

Joey: I ate it.

Britney: You, you know did what?!?!?!?!?

Joey: *whiny voice* I was hungry...

Britney: But Joey, we're like going to be here for you know a very long time!

Joey: Uh... I thought we were actually going home?

Britney: I said I was like coming last night you know, like an orgasm, not home you know *rolls eyes*

Joey: Oh...

*quiet*

Joey: OH MY GOD! We got no food??????

Britney: *shakes head*

Joey: We're going to diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*camera shows the beautiful beach again*

*camera shows the cloudless blue sky*

*Team North's blue flag is showed, then the camp itself*

Nick: *looks up from the food* Did you hear that?

Kevin: What... do... you... mean? *looks at Nick*

Nick: The cries... *sees cameraman* Oh, look a camera... and it's Autumn behind it.

Autumn: *waves*

*picture goes into a blur*

*picture clears up again*

Kevin: *sighs* Again? Weren't... filming... all... last... night... enough?

*some mumbling about lost film roles and sorry are heard behind the camera*

Nick: Yeah, yeah, yeah, did you hear that cry?

Kevin: The... first.. or... the... second?

Nick: Both.

Kevin: *starts eating again* Yeah... I... heard... them... it... was... kind... of... hard.. to... miss.

Nick: Oh, okay, just checking. *goes back to eating again too*

*camera starts zooming in parts of Kevin's body that should have been edited but never was, to the joy of the world*

A.J: *looks into the camera* Welcome to our third competition. This time we're going to torture the competing celebrities in a whole new way. South is going to meet East, and North is going to meet West. Out there *gestures towards two rafts a bit away from the beach in the ocean* by the rafts there are six letters on the bottom. The two contestants from each team are going to collect them with their color on it and bring them back here. Once they are here they are going to make a word out of these six letters. The team that first got the right word wins.

*camera shows the contestants*

A.J: Competing for North is Nick and Kevin, for West Justin and J.C.... Isn't it Sara's turn to be in a competition?

Justin: *whiny voice* Yeah...

J.C: Nonsense... *looks at Sara* She's been in enough competitions already.

A.J: Alright, whatever you say.

Sara: *sits down in the shadow of a palm tree, very pleased*

A.J: Britney and Joey for East and Brian and Christina for South.

Joey: I'm hungry.

A.J: Well that's not my problem now is it? South and East go first.

*teams get ready*

*start signal goes*

*Joey and Britney are nowhere to be seen*

A.J: Wait a second now... hmm... *looks around*

Brian: *swimming towards the raft*

Christina: *admiring Kevin instead of helping her teammate*

Kevin: *just stands there, being hot*

A.J: Alright... *sigh* We have a make-out session going on over there *gestures towards Nick and Sara* Christina does nothing useful over here and over there *gestures towards the bushes* are Joey and Britney doing anything but competing. I love my job. *sigh*

*everyone (other than people who are too busy with other stuff) sits down and wait*

Brian: *comes back to the beach for the third time* *gives Christina a pissed look*

Christina: *too busy watching Kevin to notice*

Brian: *starts working with the word* Um, I'm done.

A.J: Thank god. What's the word then?

Brian: Season.

A.J: That's correct. And that means you win... since East haven't even started yet, you win over them.

Brian: Woohoo!

A.J: Can North and West get ready?

*teams get ready*

*start signal goes*

Nick, Kevin, J.C. and Justin: *hurries into the water and swims to the rafts*

Justin: Um J-Dawg... I ain't gettin down unda da...

J.C: What?!

Justin: Mah hair ya know. I ain't up fo drownin.

J.C: *mutters a few curses and dives himself*

Justin: *gets up on the raft and waits for J.C. to come up*

Nick and Kevin: *already got all the letters so they swim to the beach with them, leaving J.C. and Justin behind*

*5 minutes later*

Justin and J.C: *puts their letters on the beach and tries to figure out which word it's supposed to be*

Nick and Kevin: *already done*

*10 minutes later*

Sara: Oh for heaven's sake! *walks over and forms the word "ballad" with the letters* Was that so hard?

Justin: What's a ballad?

J.C: That's what we sing... those meaningless things.

Justin: Ahhhh...

A.J: Unfortunately, since Sara weren't supposed to help, you are disqualified. Which means you lose, all in all. One of you is going to leave the camp and North, who had the best time, wins this. *shows a hen, which is obviously not happy about being there*

Nick: Huh?

Kevin: Are... you... saying... that... we... get... a... hen... for... all... our... hard... work? Is... that... all... we... won?

A.J: Well, yeah. You can eat it, or you can just let it lay eggs that you can eat. It's food anyway.

*camera suddenly shows Kevin, only*

A.J: Autumn...

*camera goes back to showing all of them*

*camera shows Brian, of team South*

Brian: *starts making funny noises, faces and holding up Tyke saying "Look at the cute little puppy"* *this goes on for 2 minutes, while giggles and laughing is heard behind the camera*

*camera goes into a blur*

*camera shows Joey of team East*

Joey: *chewing on some leafs* Actually... I don't really know what to say. *chews for a while* Britney and me have actually been having pretty fun, and hopefully we'll keep having fun. Except that we actually don't have any food left, that's actually my fault but... *swallows the leafs* We actually made it so far, hopefully we'll get some food from somebody else. *starts eating some more leafs* Actually... umm... Well I've actually had most of the girls here now... Britney, obviously, Christina, actually very obvious too, Mandy, but she was actually sent home. She actually called out Kevin's name in bed, hopefully that means I was really good. I can't actually tell since I've never had sex with Kevin... Beth, she was actually pretty easy too. Hopefully she'll be up for it again. I can't believe she was actually sent home too. Hmm... *thinks about it while chewing on the leafs* Sara seems to have a thing for, well actually for Nick, which is a shame. She actually kneed me a couple of times, hopefully that won't effect my performance... That would be a shame. *keeps chewing on leafs*

*camera shows Justin of West*

Justin: It ain't mah fault dat I can't dive unda da water ya know. I was born with mah hair dis way an I can't do much about dat. J.C.'s mad at I again. He saz he's gonna vote on I dis time, and so will Sara. I dunno why he's so mad at I, it ain't mah fault. I think he wanna be alone with dat Sara, but I ain't so sure she wanna be with him. She's been, ya know, checking out mah body, of course she can't help dat yo. At first ya might think dat she want dat Nick Carter, but dat ain't nothin, she want me, no doubt yo.

*camera shows J.C. of West*

J.C: I... umm... well I made a deal with Sara... but I fear I also made a deal with the devil at the same time. Her pills helps me though, the pain is gone so I'll be fine. Unless she stops giving them to me, or if she's voted out. So I can't vote on her, cause if she leaves she'll take the pills with her and then everything will come back and... *nervous smile* Drugs are bad kids, really bad. *starts fiddling with his shirt* There's some talk about a surprise next week, I hope A.J.'s going to share his drugs, I hope that's the surprise. *mumbles* I tried to sniff that thing in a coconut... didn't help me at all. *looks at the camera* Ehhh... remove that from the interview, okay? *nervous smile* We're not allowed to leave either... But we get a million a day so that's okay, I guess... we'll need it later, I assume. I know I will, with the, you know... hair gel and the... umm... pixie dust. *attempts to laugh, but it just comes out like a low, weird sounding giggle* *looks into the camera* Drugs are bad, stay away from that kids.

*camera goes into a blur*

A.J: Here we are again. For the third time. Amazingly enough one of each team have been voted out, except in West's case, but then one of them are going today.

*camera shows the contestants*

A.J: This is the last time you'll be four teams, in the next episode you will be put together with one of the other teams. Which is yet to be determent however.

Sara: *crosses her fingers and prays for being mixed with North*

A.J: So, are West ready for the result?

Justin, Sara and J.C: *nods*

A.J: Good. *picks up the first note from the urn* One vote for Justin.

Britney: *gasps*

A.J: Another vote for Justin. Not because we need to, but we'll see what the third note says *picks up the last note* Sara.

Sara: *shrugs shoulders*

A.J: So, Justin, you're going to be sent home and...

Britney: THAT'S NOT FAIR YOU KNOW!

A.J: Sch! I'm the host, you're the contestant, shut up.

Britney: But...

A.J: Can somebody make her shut up? *turns to Justin* You're going home anyway, and that's it! Next time we're going to put the four teams into two! Very interesting, a must watch *yawns* I need to get to my hotel...

*camera shows West's green flag and camp*

*snoring is heard from the tent*

Sara: Dammit J.C.!

J.C: Ouch...

*cameraman goes closer to see what's going on*

Sara: I told you, that corner is your part of the tent, stop invading my space.

J.C: I was asleep...

Sara: *hisses* Well good for you, your snoring kept me up.

J.C: I'm sorry. You won't stop giving me those pills, right?

Sara: Just leave me alone and I won't.

J.C: Okay...

*quiet for a while*

J.C: Sara?

Sara: WHAT?!

J.C: Um... I just... who's going to cook food now? I mean, I don't eat so...

Sara: I'm not going to work, so you better.

J.C: I can't wait till tomorrow...

Sara: Depends on who we're going to be teamed up with... I hate this island.

*quiet*

J.C: Can I just get a little more space? Please?

*quiet*

J.C: Pleasepleaseplease??

Sara: Shut up.

J.C: Just...

*a thud is heard*

J.C: OUCH! You didn't have to do that...

Sara: Then shut up and leave me alone.

J.C: Sorry...

*camera shows the ocean, the palm trees, the clouds and the hermit crabs*

*stupid music plays*

Voice: Next time four teams is going to become two. And there's going to be more than one surprise for the contestants. How will everything work out for the eight remaining contestants?

*more stupid music*