Okay, I wrote this around 6 a.m., so it’s pretty weird. But you'll notice that anyway.

KIDNAPPED

*NSync, BSB and Britney Spears are sitting in a dark room, tied up to chairs, just waking up*

Brian: *blinks* *looks around* Where am I?

Howie: *stops snoring* *wakes up*

Nick: *worried* It’s dark… guys? Guys?

A.J: We’re right here.

Nick: Where? *can’t see them cause it’s too dark*

Kevin: Right… here… you… blond… airhead.

Britney: Um… this is like… Fun breeze! *looks around* *can’t see anything* *sniffs in the air* *excited* JUSTIN!

Justin: Hu? *looks around* Bratn… I mean, Britney?

Britney: Like totally, you know! *very pleased that she’s in the same room as Justin*

Joey: I’m hungry.

J.C: When aren’t you hungry?

Joey: *thinks* *tries to find an example*

*lights are turned on*

Everyone: Ahh! *blinded for a few seconds*

Nick: Light! *happy*

Alice: *looks at Nathalie*

Nathalie: *shrugs shoulders*

Chris: What’s going on?

Nathalie: We’re just going to kill you.

Chris: Okay.

Britney: Justin!

Justin: Britney!

Britney: Justin!

Alice: Oh, shut up will you?

Britney: *shuts up* *disappointed*

Kevin: He’s… my… cousin.

Nathalie: *looks at Alice*

Alice: So?

Kevin: I’ve… known… him… all… my… life.

Nathalie: *looks at Kevin, then at Alice*

Alice: Okay so he’s not the brightest guy ever, but you prefer blondy.

Nick, Justin and Britney: Hu?

Nathalie: Nick of course, gee… *rolls eyes* *feels like punching Justin* *punches Justin*

Justin: Ouch!

Nathalie: Who’s going first?

Alice: I’m not sure *looks at Britney, then Joey, then Britney, then Joey, then Kevin* *can’t decide if she rather kill Britney or Joey or make out with Kev*

Kevin: *worried* Don’t… kill… me… take… Britney… instead… everyone… hates… her!

Everyone: *asleep*

Kevin: Hey! I… didn’t… take… so… long… you… know… I… could… have… made… it… much… slower… if… I… wanted… to. *sighs and looks at the others who are all asleep* *sings*

--- But since we all know how Kevin’s solos are cut out we go to the part when they’re all awake and Nathalie decided to be a pyromaniac ---

J.C: *worried* What are you doing?

Nathalie: *pours gasoline over J.C.* *evil grin*

Joey: *gives up on the thinking part* I’m hungry.

Everyone: *ignores Joey*

Joey: Guys… I… *slowly feels how he’s just running out of power* Need… food… *suddenly gets really skinny (okay, not really)* *starves to death in a couple of seconds since he hadn’t been fed all day*

Everyone: *ignores Joey*

Nathalie: *sets J.C. on fire*

Nick: Oooh! A fire!

Alice: *looks at Nathalie*

Nathalie: *shrugs shoulders* He’s blond, he can’t help it.

J.C: *screams in pain*

Alice and Nathalie: *enjoys every second J.C. burns, until they have to put the fire out in fear that it will get out of control, but by then J.C. is long dead*

Lance: *fighting to cut through the rope with his nail file*

Chris: But… who’ll sing leads now? *looks at Justin*

Justin: Okay! More solos for me!

Alice and Nathalie: *seriously annoyed by the whininess of Justin’s voice and the thought of him “singing”* *drags Justin and his chair to one of the doors and throws him out to the angry Dobermans that are there*

The Dobermans: *very happy about their new chew toy* *rips Justin up in little pieces*

Nick: They killed my other self?

Brian: That was just Justin of the ‘NStinkers, not Aaron.

Nick: Oh *relieved*

Nathalie: *before Alice looks at her* I know, I know, he’s a total blond with and IQ lower than his shoe-size, but he’s still hot.

Chris: *laughs*

Alice: Don’t think you’re any better.

Chris: Oh… *sighs*

Lance: *starting to get through the rope*

Chris: But who’s gonna sing now? Joey, Lance and me are only backup-singers.

A.J: Like Kevin and Howie!

Howie: Shut up you crackhead! That wasn’t funny.

Nick: Actually…

Brian: *interrupts Nick (as usual)* Guys, have it ever appeared to you that we might die here?

BSB: *thinks*

Chris: *looks at Joey, then at Lance* And Joey’s dead. Now we’re just s-n.

Lance: *ignores Chris*

Kevin: He’s… my… cousin.

Howie: We’ll die?

A.J: *starts squirming around to get lose*

Nick: But we are the heroes with superpowers, we can’t die.

Britney: Exactly!

Nick: *pissed* I’m not talking to you! You insulted us, plus you’re no superhero!

Britney: But I have my boobs!

Nick: They aren’t even yours!

Britney: They are too! I paid for them!

Nick: Well it’s no superpower.

Alice: *amazed* I think that we’ve found someone that’s more stupid than Nick.

Nathalie: It’s not his fault!

Britney: They are! They make all guys believe that I got talent.

Nathalie: Unfortunately that’s true.

Alice: *decides to end the stupidity* *takes a needle* *poops Britney’s boobs*

Britney: *upset* My boobs! Now I have to make them bigger AGAIN! *cries*

Nathalie: *busy hanging up Chris in the hair* *gives Alice a bat* Do you wanna go first?

Alice: *evil grin* *starts hitting Chris*

Nathalie: *joins Alice*

Lance: *starts tying up the ropes around his legs*

Kevin: That… looks… fun… Why… can’t… we… do… things… like… that? *looks at BSB* It… really… seems… to… be… a… really… good… way… to… spend… time.

Alice: *takes a final swing at Chris* *Chris’ dead body falls down on the floor, his head still hangs up in the roof*

Nathalie: I say we leave it there.

Alice: Yeah… unless you want to go up there and get it of course.

Nathalie: Pass. I don’t want a souvenir that badly.

Lance: *realizes that he’s the only ‘NSyncer left* *tries to find a way to avoid being killed* *“sings”* It’s not good to be straight, but if you can’t be gay then be bi, bi, bi!

Everyone: *looks at Lance* Hu?

Britney: *starts “singing” “Baby one more time”*

Alice: *turns around* SHUT UP!*

Britney: *quiet*

Alice: *goes back to looking funny at Lance*

Britney: *starts singing, very low (and very badly) “Born to make you happy”*

Nathalie: *as pissed as she can be* THEN DIE YOU BITCH! *whaps Britney with the bat*

--- 15 min (and a lot of beating) later ---

Nathalie: *drops bat* Okay, I’m done.

Britney: *still alive (amazingly enough)* I was born to make you happy…

Alice: Would it be so damn hard to die? *turn around* Kevin! Bore her to death!

Kevin: I… don’t… really… understand… what… you… mean… by… that. I… understand… you…want… her… dead… and… I… would… really… want… to… help… but… I… don’t… really… get… how… I’ll… do…it.

--- Everyone woke up about two hours later ----

Britney: *still alive* You’re the only one within my heart, I was born to make you happy.

Alice: It's okay Kevin, you did your best. *takes an axe (it was just laying around, like axes do)* DIE!!! *shops of Britney’s head*

Nathalie: Finally, she’s dead.

Alice: What the… *looks at Britney’s neck*

Tiny alien: *carefully climbs out of Britney’s body* *mutters* It took YEARS to build that body and they ruin it, of course… *sees how big everyone really is* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!! *starts running around terrified*

Alice and Nathalie: *chases the tiny alien while they are trying to kill it*

Lance: *finally free*

Nathalie: *steps on the tiny alien*

Tiny alien: *dead*

Alice: Finally.

Nathalie: Couldn’t agree more.

Lance: *runs out of the room* *sees a wild horse that’s not really wild cause it’s wearing saddle and snaffle (it’s just there, just like the axe)* *hurries over and mounts it* *rides away*

Alice and Nathalie: *doesn’t even notice that Lance is gone*

Horse: *throws Lance off*

Lance: *flies* *unfortunately for Lance there’s a ravine right ahead which he of course falls down into* *dead*

And Alice and Nathalie kept BSB as their personal slaves. There couldn’t have been a happier ending to this story.