PAINFUL TIMES
Characters:
Tarantella Full name: Tarantella Caster. Facts: Golden-blond, deep-blue eyes, 22 years old, born Mars 28, 1978, 170 cm tall. Brian's girlfriend, lives next door to Nick, Tampa, Florida.
June Full name: June Omega Facts: Blond, blue eyes, 171 cm tall, about 21-23 years old, born June 17, got two sisters (22 and 20 years old), singer.
Shirley Full name: Shirley-Jean Mary Dale Facts: Redhead, grey eyes, 175 cm tall, 16 years old, born January 7 1984, Nick's best female friend, daughter to Anne and Harvey Dale, lives in Tampa, Florida.
Kathleen Full name: Kathleen Beth Hart Facts: Brunette, brown eyes, 173 cm tall, 19 years old, born November 23 1980, Nick's girlfriend #1, lives in Tampa, Florida.
Ahsley Full name: Ashley Simpson Facts: Blond, blue eyes, 167 cm tall, 17 years old, born May 3 1983, Nick's girlfriend #2, lives in Oxford, England.
Jenny Full name: Jenny Michelle Anderson Facts: Black hair, brown eyes, 165 cm tall, 17 years old, born December 28 1982, Nick's girlfriend #3, lives in Sydney, Australia.
Sarah Full name: Sarah Mark Facts: Brunette, brown eyes, 167 cm tall, 19 years old, born July 20 1980, daughter to Clara Mark, lives in Tampa, Florida.
Mathilda Full name: Mathilda Svensson Facts: Brunette, blue eyes, 169 cm tall, 15 years old, born August 6 1984, owns doberman Alex, husky Milady, rottweiler Baby and cat Romeo.
Kevin Full name: Kevin Scott Richardson Facts: Dark brown hair, green eyes, 187 cm tall, 27 years old, born October 3 1972, Backstreet Boy, Kristin's boyfriend, lives in Orlando, Florida.
Howie Full name: Howard Dwanie Dorough Facts: Dark brown hair, brown eyes, 168 cm tall, 26 years old, born August 22 1973, Backstreet Boy, Claudia's boyfriend, lives in Orlando, Florida.
Brian Full name: Brian Thomas Littrell Facts: Dirty blond, blue eyes, 173 cm tall, 25 years old, born February 20 1975, Nick's best male friend, Backstreet Boy, Tarantella's boyfriend, lives in Orlando, Florida.
A.J. Full name: Alexander James McLean Facts: Colored red hair (dark brown hair), brown eyes, 177 cm tall, 22 years old, born January 9 1978, Backstreet Boy, lives in Orlando, Florida.
Nick Full name: Nicholas Gene Carter Facts: Blond, blue eyes, 190 cm tall, 20 years old, born January 28 1980, Backstreet Boy, Kathleen's, Ashley's and Jenny's boyfriend, Shirley's best friend, lives in Tampa, Florida, next door to Tarantella.
June 10 2000 (Saturnday)
- Hi its Nick, Nick said, is Jenny home?
- Oh hi Nick, just a second, Jenny's sister handed the phone to Jenny.
- Hello?
- Hi hun, it's me.
- Hi! How are you and the guys?
- We are fine, and you?
- Just fine. I miss you...
- I miss you too, Nick looked at Shirley who gave him an angry look.
- How's Tyke then? Jenny had always loved Tyke.
- Eh... Tyke is missing.
- What?
- We lost him somewhere in Sweden or Italy...
- What? How could you loose him?
- I don't know, Shirley and Tarantella was supposed to take him, and I guess that he ran away or something.
- But... do you think you'll find him again?
- I hope so, we got people looking for him all over Europe.
- Oh, good, I hope you find him soon.
- So does I, he looked at Shirley.
- Nick? Kathleen stepped in to the room.
- I gotta go now, Nick said.
- Oh? I love you, she said, bye.
- I love you too, bye, Nick hung up.
- Who was that? Kathleen looked at him.
Shirley gave him a pleased look.
- Um... my mom.
- Oh, Kathleen looked at him for a while before she smiled again, Can we go shopping now?
- Sure, he looked at Shirley, do you wanna come?
- Nick, Kathleen muttered.
- No, not really, Shirley ignored Kathleen's tone, I don't like shopping, as you know.
He nodded.
- Can we go now?
- Sure, bye Shirl.
- Bye Nick, bye Kathleen.
- Bye.
Shirley muttered a little curse as soon as they'd closed the door behind them.
June 13 2000 (Tuesday)
- Bye, Nick smiled as Kathleen went on the plane.
- Bye Nicky, she smiled and left.
- Bye, bye bitch, Shirley muttered.
- You can be really nice, he sighed and started walking to the exit.
- Do you know how close it was that you got caught? She said and looked at him.
- I'm aware of that, but I didn't now did I?
- Unfortunately no, she muttered, it would be really nice if you did though.
- If you'd love that so much then why didn't you tell her? He smirked.
- Cause you are my friend, she sighed, that's the only reason. Do you know what a pain in the ass Kathleen is?
- You've told me a couple of times, he said, I'm sorry.
- Not your fault, but you could dump her you know... that would make me happy.
June 14 2000 (Wednesday)
Shirley looked at Nick and then at the blond girl.
- Hi Shirley! She smiled and hugged her.
- Hi Ashley, she smiled and gave Nick a pissed look.
He just shrugged his shoulders.
- What are you doing here? Shirley looked at Ashley.
- Nick called me and asked me to come with you guys on tour, she smiled, but I can only be here for a week. It's a shame, isn't it?
- It sure is, she said and forced herself to smile.
- How is it now here?
- There's still no response about Tyke, Shirley sighed, I hope that he's okay. Don't you too Nick?
- Of course I do, he smiled even though he knew she weren't exactly talking about Tyke anymore.
- Well, you two will share a room then I guess, she looked at Nick and then at Ashley.
- Oh, you guys were sharing room before weren't you? Ashley looked at Nick and then at Shirley, Well you don't have to change, you can still...
- No, no, it's okay, Shirley looked her in the eyes, I'll share room with Kevin instead...
- Why not with A.J.? Nick smirked.
- You know I didn't sleep with him! She hit his arm pretty hard, You know that's just him making it all up.
- Of course Shirl, what ever you say...
- You are asking for a can of whoop-ass, she muttered.
June 16 2000 (Friday)
- WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM NICK? She looked at him.
- Calm down Shirl...
- NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! WHY ARE YOU SUCH A BASTARD?!
- I'm not a bastard...
- You are surely acting like one, she hissed.
- I'm sorry...
- No, you aren't supposed to say that you are sorry to me, you are going to ask your three girlfriends for forgiveness, she hissed, right after you've dumped at least two of them.
- I will, I will! Don't worry Shirl, he looked at her, I will break up with them, don't worry...
- Hi guys, Ashley smiled and opened the door, what's going on?
- Nothing, Shirley smiled, we were just having a little disagreement.
She gave Nick one last angry look before she left the room.
June 17 2000 (Saturday)
- Shirley is right, Howie looked at Nick, you can't go on like this...
"If you gotta call me something
A fallen angel will do
Cause that's what I am to you"
- I know but...
"Why does the stars fall
Tell me, you who know it all"
- Why do you come with your buts? Kevin looked at him, The rest of us only got one girlfriend...
"I thought the stars was forever
Tell me, you who's so cleaver"
- I don't even have one, A.J. said and looked at Nick.
"So look at the sky
So look at the stars
They've seen it all
Is that why they fall?"
- But wouldn't you wanna? Nick looked at him.
- Yeah but...
"If you gotta call me something
A fallen angel will do
Cause that's what I am to you"
- Can someone turn down the volume? A.J. sighed.
- Sure.
- Okay, as I was saying, A.J. turned to Nick, I don't even have a girlfriend, sure I'd like one but only if I loved her. And I'd definitely not have three girlfriends at one time, not even two.
- I'm sorry! I'll break up with them all if that's what you want, okay?
- You said that before! Shirley protested, You promised me that you would do that and then you bring Ashley over.
They were quiet for a while.
"If you gotta call me something
A fallen angel will do
Cause that's what I am to you"
- You gotta do it Nick, Howie looked at him, Break up with Kathleen now, or maybe both of them if it's Ashley you wanna keep but...
- Just break up with two of them! You can break up with all three if that's better but...
- I WILL! Nick looked at him, I will break up with them, okay? Just give me some time to do it, I won't do anything stupid I promise...
- You better not, A.J. looked at him.
- What are you talking about? Ashley stepped in to the room.
- Oh, nothing special really, A.J. smiled and looked at Nick.
- Just what movie we were going to see tonight, Shirley filled in.
- Oh, she smiled.
"Everything falls, everything do
A fallen angel, that's what I am to you
Sooner or later everything falls, and you know it..."
June 19 2000 (Monday)
Shirley stepped in to the room.
- I'm sorry, she said and hurried over to them.
- What are you doing Shirley? Nick looked at her, We got a interview here...
- I know, I'm sorry, she said, Brian...
- What?
- You got a phone call...
- Can't it wait?
- It's about Tyke...
- Oh, he got up, I'm sorry, but I have to go.
Brian and Shirley hurried out of the room.
- Here you go, Denise handed him the phone.
- Hello? This is Brian Littrell...
- Hi, my name is Mathilda Svensson, and... I think I found your dog a couple of weeks ago...
- You found Tyke? Brian's face brightened up, Is he okay?
- Yeah, he was really skinny when I found him though...
- Where do you live?
- Outside Stockholm, Sweden...
- Okay, can you leave your address and we'll get someone to pick him up?
- Sure...
June 20 2000 (Tuesday)
Tarantella opened the door to Nick's room.
- Nick?
- What? He slowly opened his eyes.
- Have you seen Brian? She whined.
- No, I was asleep...
- He's gone. Could you find him?
- I rather sleep, he mumbled.
- Fine, she muttered and slammed the door when she left.
She went in to A.J. and Shirley's room.
- Wake up! She said annoyed.
- What? A.J. looked up.
- GO AWAY! Shirley pulled the cover over her head.
- Brian is missing, Tarantella whined and ignored Shirley.
- What? A.J. sat up, When?
- This morning stupid, she hissed, He's gone and I think he went to get that stupid dog.
- Why is this happening, Shirley muttered and looked at A.J., first you keep on taking the cover and then she comes and wakes me up when I finally was asleep.
- Cause somebody above the clouds hates you, he smirked.
- Hello! Tarantella looked at them, If you didn't hear me before my boyfriend is missing!
- Calm down, we don't have a show for today, he can be free today... as long as he's back tomorrow...
- No, I don't think you heard me, she said and looked A.J. in the eyes, My boyfriend is missing, I don't know where he is but he's probably going to pick up that mutt!
- Actually Tyke is a pure breaded Chihuahua, A.J. started.
- SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! Shirley yelled, Go away both of you! I wanna sleep, go away!
- If he calls, she said to A.J., tell him that I'm pissed.
June 20 2000 (Tuesday)
Brian knocked on the door. It was really dark outside and he had no place to stay, he had just taken the bus there, a couple of fans had told him which one to take. It didn't sound like anyone was home.
The disturbed growl behind the door was quickly replaced by barking as the dog came closer.
- Sch! A girl opened the door, Alex!
Brian looked at the doberman who obviously didn't like him. She looked up at him.
- Oh, she smiled, I'm sorry about Alex, he doesn't like guys.
- It's okay, Brian looked a bit worried at the dog and then at her, I'm Brian Littrell, you said you had my dog?
- I do, she smiled, you can come in if you want to.
- Thank you, he smiled but waited until the girl had made the doberman walk in to the house.
- Tyke is alright now, she smiled, I'm Mathilda. That was Alex, we got him from the pound, he got abused in the other places he lived at. The others aren't that bad.
- You got more dogs? He smiled.
- Yeah, Alex, Milady and Baby, and my cat Romeo. If it hadn't been for Romeo I probably wouldn't have found Tyke.
- Do you got a place to stay for the night? Mathilda smiled.
- I'm sorry to say I don't, Brian sighed, but it will work out, don't worry.
- You can stay here if you want...
- Are you sure? I'm a strange guy you know...
- No problem... you aren't a complete stranger, she smiled, I'm a fan. Besides we got the dogs here... I'll take Alex to my room for tonight. We wouldn't want him to attack you...
- No we really wouldn't want that, Brian said and pet Tyke.
June 22 2000 (Wednesday)
- Hi guys, Brian opened the door to Nick's hotel room.
- Where have you been? Kevin got up immediately.
- Picking up Tyke, he smiled and put Tyke down.
- Tara is pissed, said Shirley.
- Ups... well, Brian looked at them, then she'll probably get even more mad...
- Why? Nick looked at him.
- I brought a dogwatch, he smiled, she can come with us till August 1st.
- And that's when we are going to be in Sweden anyway, Shirley sighed.
- Yupp. But... there's a problem...
- What? Kevin looked at him a bit worried.
- Her mother wouldn't let her come with us, if she didn't brought one of her dogs... or... um... her doberman... Alex... He hates guys.
- Okay, A.J. looked at Brian, so what you are saying is that she brought a man-hating dog to a Backstreet Boys tour?
- Yeah...
- Can we meet her?
- She's in Kevin's room right now...
- What?! Kevin stared at him.
- That dog's going to eat your balls! A.J. looked at Kevin.
- You can be so mature from time to time, Shirley sighed.
- Um, well it won't, Brian looked at Kevin, don't worry. Her name is Mathilda Svensson and she's 15 years old...
- You brought a 15-year-old with you on the tour? Howie stared at Brian.
- So did Nick!
- I'm 16, said Shirley, and I've known Nick for a while...
- Well I asked her and she wanted so... she's coming with us okay?
- Just keep her dog away from me, A.J. sighed, even if that means that you have to jump in between us two if it attacks... I've had enough with psycho dogs.
- Well I'm sorry, Nick sighed, I didn't know that Simba was going to attack you... at least you had your car there...
- Sure you are, A.J. looked at Nick.
- To more important things, Shirley said.
- What? Isn't Nick's dog that's trying to eat me important?
- No. It's the past okay? How are we going to do about Nick's little girlfriends? She'll find out you know...
- Right, Kevin looked at Nick, have you broken up with them?
- Um... no...
- Then do it!
- Well... I don't know which one I like the most...
- Okay, Shirley smiled, I'll pick for you. Break up with Kathleen cause she's a bitch, break up with Ashely cause she's pretty stupid and keep Jenny cause she's nice and actually can use her brain.
Nick sighed and looked at her.
June 23 2000 (Thursday)
Shirley slammed the door to A.J.'s room.
- I'm guessing you are pissed, he said and looked at her.
- Good guess, she hissed.
- What's happened?
- Nick happened, she sat down on his bed.
- What did he do? Nick got up and sat down beside her.
- Nick is going to spend a little more time with Ashely, she muttered.
- Jealous?
- No, mad. He was supposed to break up with at least two of them! He's watching a movie with Ashley now!
- Okay... I understand why you are mad... But I think that it's enough that Brian and Tarantella fights all the time now...
- If I wanna fight with Nick I'll fight with him, she muttered.
- Okay, he smiled, are you up for a little truth or dare when you've calmed down?
- No.
- Oh, he sighed, to bad.
- I'll play some other time, promise.
- Sure. Wanna do something else? I'm pretty bored...
- Can we go to some CD store? I'm sick and tired of the CD's we got right now...
- Sure, he got up, now or later?
- Now please, she smiled.
June 25 2000 (Saturday)
Shirley walked down the stairs and looked at the girls who was standing outside the hotel.
- Shirley? A girl said.
- Yes? She looked at her, Oh, Kathleen? What are you doing here?
- I came to see Nick...
- Oh...
- Aren't you going to let me in? I came all the way to Spain to see him.
"Bitch, slut, bimbo, whore..." Shirley thought.
- Sure.
- Thank you...
"You can thank me by dying..."
Shirley opened the door to Nick's room. Ashley had left earlier that day and gone back to England.
- Nick, she said coldly, visitor.
- Oh? He looked up from his drawings.
- Hi Nicky! Kathleen smiled and went in to the room.
- Kathleen? Hi, he smiled and felt how Shirley gave him an evil glare.
- I'll leave you two alone, she said and left.
June 27 2000 (Monday)
Kathleen gave Shirley an evil look.
- Well at least I'm not the slut who slept with A.J., she said.
- I didn't sleep with A.J., Shirley hissed.
Nick looked at them, they had started fighting over nothing special really but they probably had had things to fight about that just had been bubbling up inside of them.
- Then why does he say so?
- It's his idea of a joke, Shirley said coldly, What you and Nick are doing...
- Is nothing like what you and your ex did, Kathleen interrupted her.
Shirley looked at Nick who realized that this weren't going to end well.
- Yes I know about that, she smirked, I know him you know...
Shirley's ex Chris was a sensitive subject, Kathleen knew that too. Their breakup had been pretty messy and she had been devastated afterwards. That was also when she and Nick had gone from close friends to best friends. Nick had also been one of the reasons why Chris and Shirley had broken up and when she came crying to him it had been like Chris had become a madman. He had pretty much messed up Shirley's whole life and left her in tears, that was when Nick had been there for her.
Shirley looked at Nick, he didn't know what to do so he didn't say anything.
- Do you want Chris back? Kathleen looked at her, He's together with Melissa now, remember Melissa? Your best friend?
- She's not my best friend, Shirley hissed.
- No? But I know you really loved Chris, and I also know that...
- That's enough Kathleen, Nick looked at her.
- What?
- That's enough, okay?
- No it's not!
Shirley got up and left the room leaving Nick and Kathleen to do whatever they wanted to do.
July 1 2000 (Saturday)
Shirley looked at Nick, she couldn't help to feel betrayed. Sure he had told Kathleen to stop, but a little bit too late, and he hadn't broken up with her either, he had actually followed her to the airport and kissed her good bye.
"Everything ends
Nothing lasts forever
We've known it for a long time
But still we never say never"
Nick looked at her, he knew she was hurt, but he didn't know how to approach her anymore. If he had known he would have talked to her, and tried to make it all good again. But now he couldn't.
"Not our thoughts
Not our dreams
Not our lives
Not our love
No nothing lasts forever"
He had known her for a year, a year and a half, they'd been best friends since a half a year, almost a year back, he didn't want it to end, not yet, not ever. She had started to come closer and closer to A.J., that scared him, it almost felt like A.J. was stealing his best friend, even though he knew that weren't true.
"Wish I could make you see
How it all will end for me
I've known it for a while now
And you then, have you seen it somehow?"
He had even started a fight with A.J. the other day about nothing special just because of it. A.J. hadn't really understood why Nick had got so mad for something that normally weren't a problem at all.
"I won't last forever
Neither will you
Still we never say never
But that's the only thing we can do"
Their eyes met and she looked away immediately. He had seen it in her eyes anyway, she was really upset, and she needed him right now. But right now he couldn't be there for her, no matter how much he wanted to, if he'd try he'd only make it worse.
"How will it end?
How will it be?
How will my life bend?
How will it go for you and me?
Many questions but no reply
What did you expect if you live in a life of dreams
That you can't deny
It's not as easy to live as it seems"
He looked at A.J. who were sitting beside her on the bus, he talked to her in a low tone and it seemed like he made her forget about Kathleen and him, for a while at least.
"Not out thoughts
Not our dreams
Not our lives
Not our love
No nothing lasts forever"
He felt that someone was watching him, he looked up and saw Nick staring at him, he didn't even look away. A.J. weren't sure if he should leave Shirley alone so Nick could take care of her, or if that would be as betraying Shirley, leaving her alone with her tears.
"I won't last forever
Neither will you
Still we never say never
But that's the only thing we can do"
A.J. couldn't help to notice that there actually was a little bit of hate in Nick's eyes. That made him even more unsure if he was doing the right thing.
"Me and you
There's nothing we can do
We keep on living in a world of dreams
It's not as easy as it seems"
He decided to try to ignore him and turned to Shirley again, as soon as he laid his arm around her and whispered that everything was going to be alright again he felt it again. It was like a burning feeling, he looked up and Nick was still looking at him, still mad, still with that look in his eyes. It really didn't suit him, not at all.
"Not out thoughts
Not our dreams
Not our lives
Not our love
No nothing lasts forever"
- Are you okay? Kevin looked at Nick.
- What? Nick looked away.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine, he turned around and looked out the window, I'm fine.
"I won't last forever
Neither will you
Still we never say never
But that's the only thing we can do
Not our thoughts
Not our dreams
Not our lives
Not our love
No nothing lasts forever"
July 4 2000 (Tuesday)
A.J. sighed, he had never been so happy to have a break in his life. The past days Nick had looked at him like a threat to his and Shirley's friendship. Shirley was still sad, A.J. did his best to comfort her but Nick's looks made him really uncomfortable and it had become harder and harder to even be in the same room as Nick, not to mention performing with him. He had actually started worrying that Nick would do something stupid to hurt him just to make him less of a threath. He really knew that Nick wouldn't do anything like that but that Nick that was walking around now weren't the Nick he used to know.
Kevin had from time to time talked to Nick, without A.J. in the same room, but he knew that it was about how Nick was acting around Shirley, not to talk about when A.J. and Shirley were in the same room. Brian hadn't had any time at all to talk to Nick, he and Tarantella were either fighting or him fighting to keep peace between them. Brian had a little scar beside his right eye after Tara had thrown a book at him. If Mathilda hadn't been there Tyke probably would have got hurt too. Alex hadn't liked being around guys too much but he had accepted Brian, even though the doberman still hated all other guys that came close to him or Mathilda. Mathilda had went back to Sweden with Alex now, she had taken Tyke with her for his sake. Tarantella hated Tyke, Nick had probably been right when he had accused her of leaving Tyke in Stockholm too.
A.J. felt it again, a little burning feeling in his neck. He turned around and saw Nick looking at him, but he looked away when A.J. looked him in the eyes. That really weren't the Nick that he once had known, Nick had been a happy kid, a prankster, and become a happy kid in a man's body. He hadn't changed too much, before the whole thing with Jenny, Ashley and Kathleen, but not even that had changed him that much. The thing that had changed him the most was definitely the whole thing with Shirley.
He turned around again and looked out the window of the plane, he was finally going home and he weren't going to come close to Nick if he could avoid it for the next week.
July 10 2000 (Monday)
Nick smiled while he walked down to his friend Sarah's house. Now when he'd finally had some spare time he had knocked on her door one day, out of old habit, neither of them had been able to speak for a long while when she'd opened the door. She had changed a lot during the past years, but he could still recognize her.
They had been hanging out for the past three days even though he knew he should work things out between him and Shirley. But Sarah's mother had told him that she'd changed since he had came back. Nick hadn't asked too much about it cause he already knew what it was about. He had noticed it himself too, Sarah had become worse than she had been while they had been in the same class. She had always been strange, but so had he, but in a different way. She had always talked about death, but not as in that it was scary, more like the opposite, it had been an interest that she had had and they had used to talk about it from time to time.
Yesterday she had told him something about the raven, her favorite bird for some strange reason, he couldn't really recall what it was though... It was something about the raven and death, he was sure about it...
The door slowly opened.
- Hello Mrs. Mark, he smiled, is Sarah home?
- Nick...
He looked at her for a while, she weren't going to say anything else and her eyes were filled with tears.
- What?
- Sarah... Sarah isn't... here...
- Oh, can I come back later or...?
- Sarah isn't coming home again... she's... dead...
Nick stared at her.
- She's... dead?
- She... she, left you... some things...
--- Flash back three days earlier ---
July 7 2000 (Friday)
- Oh my god! She stared at him.
- Hello Sarah, he smiled, how are you?
- I'm fine, and you? She let him in.
- Fine, what have you been up to lately?
- Nothing special really, just studying...
- You still hate it? Nick looked at her.
She just looked at him.
- What do you think? She said after a while.
- Okay...
Of course she hated school, she always had...
--- Back in the present ---
July 10 2000 (Monday)
Nick picked up the picture of a raven, she had become really good at painting them too... He couldn't believe that she was gone.
- It's... I put it all in that box, Mrs. Mark said, take the other one too...
He nodded and looked at it, a black box with his name on it in white. He slowly picked it and the other - much heavier box - up and looked around in the room one last time, the walls were filled with pictures of ravens that she'd made. She had obviously been studying the bird too...
- Thank you Mrs. Mark, he mumbled as he left.
She nodded and closed the door behind him. He suddenly realized that there must be something living in the heavier box, cause he could feel something moving in there.
He took it in a safer grip and walked on home again.
Nick slowly put the two boxes down at the table and looked at the heavier one for a while. There was something in it, it moved from time to time...
He sat down at a chair and slowly opened the box a few centimeters. It looked up at him, completely black and with a surprised look in its redorange eyes. Nick closed the box again, he didn't know what to do with it, Mrs. Mark probably didn't either, maybe that was why she had given it to him, Sarah's pet raven...
Nick looked at the box for a while, he knew that she had had a bird, but she'd never said that it was a raven though... he had thought it was a canary or something...
He opened the other box instead, there were some books, some loose papers and some pictures. He picked them up and looked at them, he was going to pick up some of the book when he saw that there was something more there... a couple of CDs...
- Never mind that now, he mumbled and looked at the other box when the raven started croaking.
Nick opened a book, it was full of notes, all about the raven.
It was all nicely written, not like Sarah had used to write, it was a long poem about the raven... He recognized it, it was Edgar Allan Poe's "The raven", they had read that one in school... Sarah had absorbed every single word of it that day.
- Nevermore, Nick sighed when he had looked through the poem again.
- Nevermore.
- What! Nick jumped of the chair and stared at the box.
When nothing else happen he slowly picked up the notebook again. Mickey looked at him with a confused look.
- It's okay, Nick smiled to his dog.
He looked carefully at the box before he opened the notebook.
It was about a raven, reminding a man of his forever-lost love... Nick looked at the box, he had had a crush on Sarah when he had been around ten, but nothing more. She had always been different, she had always gone her own way... and now she was gone.
He turned the page and read the last line.
- Shall be lifted, nevermore, he mumbled.
- Nevermore.
He dropped the book again, in the same second Simba started barking.
- Sch! Simba, he sighed and pet the golden retriever, It's okay.
Nick picked up the book again and looked at the box with the raven. What was he supposed to do with it anyway? He didn't know where to keep it, it couldn't stay in a box for the rest of its life, that was for sure.
It was the 10th of July, ten days before Sarah's birthday. She was supposed to become 20 years if she'd just lived ten more days. Even though Sarah and Shirley were so different, in all ways, he started thinking about Shirley all of a sudden. He wanted to save his friendship with her, but he didn't know how, he didn't wanna fight with A.J. for the rest of his life either, but he was still mad at him for trying to take Shirley away from him. Even though he weren't trying to do that it felt like it. He didn't wanna loose Shirley too, he had just lost an old friend of his, he didn't wanna loose his best friend too.
He got up and walked over to the phone.
- Hi Nick, Jane smiled and stepped in to the house.
- Hi mom, he smiled and stepped away from the telephone.
- But... what's the matter?
- What? He looked at he but didn't understand what she meant.
- You've been crying...
- Oh...
Everything about Sarah came back in that second and he started crying agian.
- It's Sarah...
- What happened?
- She's, he hesitated for a moment, dead...
- What? Oh my god, she hugged him, but... what happened?
- Suicide, he mumbled.
July 11 2000 (Tuesday)
- Are you taking the bird with you? BJ looked at him.
Nick nodded quietly.
- The books too?
- Yeah.
She nodded.
- I'm sorry Nick, she said and gave him a hug before he left.
- I know, I'm sorry too, he whispered and walked out to his car.
- Be careful with it, Nick handed the cage with the raven to one of the guards, it's really improtant to me.
- Of course.
Nick nodded and walked to the plane. When he saw Brian and Tarantella he didn't say a word about it, he guessed that they all knew, both seemed so tired, and so sad.
He was both tired and sad too, but when he saw A.J. and Shirley he got mad again. They were walking so close, talking to each other about something he couldn't hear. He hadn't thought that she'd come with them, but he was glad that she was, maybe they could work things out now.
July 13 2000 (Thursday)
Shirley looked at A.J., they both thought the same thing. Brian and Tarantella was fighting again, and it probably would end with Brian getting hurt, again. They had really no good reason to stay together anymore, all they did was fight, about different things but they were always fighting.
- Shirley I, Nick opened the door and saw A.J., Oh...
A.J. looked at him.
- Shirley could you please leave, he said, I need to talk to Nick.
- Sure, she said and walked out from the room without even looking at Nick.
- What? Nick looked at him.
- I wanna know why you are so mad at me.
Nick didn't answer him.
- Nick, I know we fight from time to time but... I'm really confused this time, I don't know why you are mad at me.
- I just am!
- Why?
- Because...
He was going to say something more but didn't.
- Have I done something wrong? Is that why you are mad? Or are you just letting it out on me?
- Sarah killed herself...
- What? A.J. got up, Why didn't you tell me?
- It's just, he shook his head, it's hard...
- That's where the raven comes from isn't it?
Nick nodded. This weren't why he was so mad at A.J. but it was the only thing he could tell him.
July 14 2000 (Friday)
Brian looked at Mathilda.
- It's just so confusing, he sighed, I don't know what to do anymore...
- She hates me doesn't she? Mathilda looked at him.
He nodded.
- Tell her that she doesn't have to worry, I'm not a threat to your relationship.
- I've told her that a billion times, he sighed, and that was also when she threw that book at me...
- It could have hit you in the eye...
- But it didn't.
- I know it isn't any of my business but I don't get it, why do you stay together with her when she's acting like this? I mean, I'm way younger than you and everything but... even I would leave if someone did that to me...
- I know... but I love her...
- She obviously doesn't love you back, Mathilda sighed, I'm sorry Bri but... if you love someone you don't fight with that one all the time, and you don't throw books at him or her...
Brian didn't answer her, he knew she was right but he still didn't wanna hear it.
July 16 2000 (Sunday)
Shirley gave Nick a disapproving look before she left the room; he was going to meet Ashley now when they were in England. She hadn't wanted to fight with him but still she had... She was still hurt that he had left her like he had, sure she felt sorry for him that his friend had committed suicide and all but still...
She looked at A.J.
- Sarah killed herself, he tried.
- So he goes out with Ash again? She looked at him.
- I know it doesn't make sense...
- You're right, it doesn't.
- Are you going to be mad at me for something he did?
- No, she sighed and hugged him, I won't.
- So, wanna play army?
- Play army?
- Yeah, he smirked, I'll lay down and you blow the hell out of me.
- You know what, she smiled, I'm just gonna say one word...
- Be different, say yes! He smiled.
- And it is... no.
- Crap, he smiled and hugged her.
- Maybe some other time, she smiled.
- What? He looked surprised at her.
- Just kidding, she smirked.
July 19 2000 (Thursday)
Mathilda looked shocked at Tarantella. She had started yelling at her for no reason at all right out of the blue. Alex was barking and she did her best to hold him back so he wouldn't attack her.
- WHY DID YOU COME HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE?! Tara yelled.
- CAUSE BRIAN ASKED ME TO! Mathilda yelled back.
- WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO TAKE HIM AWAY FROM ME?
The question hit Mathilda like if someone had slapped her in the face.
- What? She looked at Tarantella.
- Why are you trying to steal my boyfriend? she hissed.
- I'm not...
- Yes you are!
- Tara! Why would he want me? I'm nine years younger than him...
- You are trying to steal him, she hissed.
- I'm not, and even if I was I wouldn't succeed Tarantella, she sighed, You are 22 and I'm 15, he's 25, there's no way he'd want me.
Tarantella didn't answer her, she just turned around and left the room.
July 26 2000 (Wednesday)
A.J. sighed and opened the door to room 69 (his favorite number and all...) and walked in. Another day, just like any other, almost, this time the Boys shared hotel with June Omega. He had no clue which room she was staying in, even though he really wanted to know. June Omega was extremely hot, that all of the Boys could agree to, and he really wouldn't mind trying his luck.
- GET OUT!
He looked up and stared at her, June Omega was standing in the other side of the room half dressed.
- Um... I'm sorry...
- GET OUT! She yelled and pulled on a big sweater, not really the kind she used to wear.
- But...
- GET OUT NOW!!
- This is my room, he looked at her again.
- No, it's number 69, my room, now get out, she hissed.
- 69 is my room...
- Get out now or I'll have you kicked out by the guards!
- Okay, there's obviously been some kind of complications so we just have to...
- Get you another room. GET OUT RIGHT NOW!
- But...
- GUARD! TIM!
Two seconds later a guy was standing next to A.J.
- Miss Omega?
- Get him out of my room!
- This is my room, A.J. protested, go and ask in the reception!
- And it will say that room 69 is booked for June Omega, she hissed, get out now!
- But...
- TIM!
- No! This is my room! A.J. protested.
- Miss Omega...
- What?
- I can't throw him out...
- Why not? She hissed inpatient.
- He's a Backstreet Boy...
- Oh, she looked at A.J., then find him another room.
- There are no other rooms Miss...
- Then let him stay with the other Backstreet Fags!
- Miss...
- WHAT? She took a step closer and both the guard and A.J. immediately took a step back.
- I'll check that up, Tim hurried away.
- What are you staring at? She muttered.
- Nothing... just... I never thought...
- That you'd ever see a girl without a sweather?
- Hu? He looked surprised at her, I've seen many girls naked...
- Sure you have. Would you just get out?
- No, this is my room and...
- Miss Omega? Mr. McLean? Tim said.
- Yes? She looked at him.
- All rooms are taken...
- So I have to share room with sissy here?
- What? A.J. looked at her.
- Sissy, you know, you, she looked at the guard again, Am I?
- It looks like it Miss...
- So can't he and that sexy one change?
- The sexy one? A.J. looked at her.
- Yeah, you know, the one of you four that's actually good looking...
- We are five...
- Whatever... Nick or, no, that's not him...
- Could you describe him?
- Good looking, tall, dark hair, blue eyes I think... he's like everything you're not... he got those eyebrows...
- Kevin.
- Kevin? She turned to the guard, Can't sissy here and Kevin change room? Then I might even have some fun tonight...
- Kevin got a girlfriend, A.J. said.
- Did I ever said that I was looking for a long time relationship? She looked at him.
- I don't think that he's interested, even though it's you...
- What you think is sooooo interesting, she sighed, Tim could you arrange it?
- As I said, A.J. looked at her, Kevin got a girlfriend.
- Does it look like I care? She said and rolled her eyes, If he don't wanna there's that cute latino guy...
- Howie...
- Howie, Kevin, Nick, she sighed, and you are?
- A.J.
- A.J.? Gee, that sounds sooooo cool... What does it stand for? A joke?
- Alexander James, he sighed.
- Oh, your name I guess, or maybe your boyfriend's... do you have any other nicknames? So I can call you something other than that...
- Bone, Mr. Cool...
- Ha! Who came up with that?
He sighed and rolled his eyes. Tim came back pretty soon.
- Miss?
- Yeah?
- They all got girlfriends and won't change room...
- You can be so helpful some times, she muttered, So I'm sharing room with sissy then?
- I'm sorry Miss Omega...
- It's okay, she muttered, would you leave then? But don't go too far...
- I won't do anything, A.J. sighed.
- No, I meant as in if we can't work things out I might kick your sissy ass...
The guard closed the door behind him as he left.
- So Boner, June sighed, What do you think we'll do now?
- We'll just share the room, how hard can it be?
- Right, you are leaving tomorrow right?
- Eh... in five days...
- What?! I have to spend the whole time I'm here with you?
- Oh my god, he sighed, how long are you staying?
- Four days! With you in the same room!! I already hate this place!
- Calm down, we might survive, how many concerts do you have?
- Two, and you?
- Three. Which days?
- Wednesday and Saturday. And you?
- Thursday, Saturday and Sunday...
- So we are stuck here together the whole Friday?
- Plus the earlier days of our concerts...
- There is no god! She looked at him again, Why you? Couldn't I at least have had the sexy one?
She threw herself at the double bed.
- I'm not sexy? He looked at her.
- You are... eh!
- What? He smiled, What's that supposed to mean?
- Eh means eh, she muttered, and eh was probably invented just to describe you.
- Well I think you are sexy, he said and was just about to sit down on the bed.
- I'm not sharing bed with you!
- Well you have no other choice, we don't have another bed and we don't even have a couch...
- Can't you sleep... on the table... or in the bathroom or something...
He sighed and sat down.
- You are being silly now...
- I am? She muttered and rolled away from him.
- Yupp.
- Whatever.
It was quiet for a while before June got up and walked over to the closet.
- 50/50, she said and looked at him.
"Finally" he thought "she's cooperating a little bit at least..."