PAINFUL TIMES
Characters:
Tarantella Full name: Tarantella Caster. Facts: Golden-blond, deep-blue eyes, 22 years old, born Mars 28, 1978, 170 cm tall. Brian's girlfriend, lives next door to Nick, Tampa, Florida.
June Full name: June Omega Facts: Blond, blue eyes, 171 cm tall, about 21-23 years old, born June 17, got two sisters (22 and 20 years old), singer.
Shirley Full name: Shirley-Jean Mary Dale Facts: Redhead, grey eyes, 175 cm tall, 16 years old, born January 7 1984, Nick's best female friend, daughter to Anne and Harvey Dale, lives in Tampa, Florida.
Kathleen Full name: Kathleen Beth Hart Facts: Brunette, brown eyes, 173 cm tall, 19 years old, born November 23 1980, Nick's girlfriend #1, lives in Tampa, Florida.
Ahsley Full name: Ashley Simpson Facts: Blond, blue eyes, 167 cm tall, 17 years old, born May 3 1983, Nick's girlfriend #2, lives in Oxford, England.
Jenny Full name: Jenny Michelle Anderson Facts: Black hair, brown eyes, 165 cm tall, 17 years old, born December 28 1982, Nick's girlfriend #3, lives in Sydney, Australia.
Mathilda Full name: Mathilda Svensson Facts: Brunette, blue eyes, 169 cm tall, 15 years old, born August 6 1984, owns doberman Alex, husky Milady, rottweiler Baby and cat Romeo.
Kevin Full name: Kevin Scott Richardson Facts: Dark brown hair, green eyes, 187 cm tall, 27 years old, born October 3 1972, Backstreet Boy, Kristin's boyfriend, lives in Orlando, Florida.
Howie Full name: Howard Dwanie Dorough Facts: Dark brown hair, brown eyes, 168 cm tall, 26 years old, born August 22 1973, Backstreet Boy, Claudia's boyfriend, lives in Orlando, Florida.
Brian Full name: Brian Thomas Littrell Facts: Dirty blond, blue eyes, 173 cm tall, 25 years old, born February 20 1975, Nick's best male friend, Backstreet Boy, Tarantella's boyfriend, lives in Orlando, Florida.
A.J. Full name: Alexander James McLean Facts: Colored oilish blue green hair (dark brown hair), brown eyes, 177 cm tall, 22 years old, born January 9 1978, Backstreet Boy, lives in Orlando, Florida.
Nick Full name: Nicholas Gene Carter Facts: Blond, blue eyes, 190 cm tall, 20 years old, born January 28 1980, Backstreet Boy, Kathleen's, Ashley's and Jenny's boyfriend, Shirley's best friend, lives in Tampa, Florida, next door to Tarantella.
- Aren't you going to unpack that bag too? A.J. pointed at another bag and sat down at the one chair beside the table.
- There's not too much to unpack, she muttered and opened it and took out a black portable computer.
- A computer? I didn't know you liked those things...
- What are you? My number one fan? She muttered and walked over to the table with it.
- No but I am a fan...
- Right, move.
- But...
- I said move, she hissed.
- Say please, he smiled.
- I don't feel like playing games with you, she hissed and grabbed his hair, I said move.
- Okay, A.J. got up.
She let go of his hair and placed the computer on the table.
- You are really badly raised you know, A.J. looked at her.
- Am I supposed to be surprised that someone actually tell me that? It's not the first time I've heard it you know, she plugged in the computer to the socket.
- I was kind of hoping that you would, he sat down on the bed, That kind of hurt you know...
- What? She started the computer.
- When you pulled me in the hair...
She just shurgged her shoulders and turned to the computer.
A.J. watched her for a while before he walked over.
- Now what? She looked at him.
- Nah, I was just wondering what you were doing...
- I'm checking my e-mail, and either you leave or I'll kick your sorry ass.
- Sorry for asking, he muttered and took a step to the side.
- I know that we are going to stay here for a billion years, but I'd prefer if you'd stay as far away from me as possible, and if you can't do that then would you just not be so annoying.
- Like what?
- Like talking, that is annoying. Just shut up and sit down in your half of the closet and sleep or something.
- You are really happy today aren't you? A.J. smirked.
- You are really asking for a bunch of whoop-ass, she muttered.
- Okay, he laid down on the bed and started staring at the roof, decided that it wasn't fun and sat up again, Doing anything new?
- I'm chatting, she muttered.
- Oh? he smiled and got up, Which chat?
- You chat? she sighed and looked at him.
- Sure I do.
- Okay, if you wanna know I'm on your homepage chatting with your fans and telling them what a pain in the ass you are.
- What? He walked over to her and saw that she was telling the truth, Let me chat...
- No, she muttered, I will not, would you just go away?
- You are being mean to my fans! A.J. picked up the computer, Why are you doing that?
- Cause they are brainless idiots, she muttered, Put down the computer right now.
- No, you are swearing at my fans, he took a step away still looking at the screen, Why do you call them 'stupid little bastard with no mind of their own'?
- Cause they are, give me the computer, she got up and took a step against him.
- No! You are being a meanie-head, he backed a step and the cord let go of the socket.
- Look what you did! she hissed and walked over and took the computer from him, Leave me and my computer alone!
- Leave my fans alone!
- If I wanna be hard on your fans then that's my problem.
- What would you think if I was mean to your fans? A.J. looked at her as she started the computer all over again.
- I'd say that you were as bored as I am, she smirked, besides, I think that my fans have a little more attituede than yours do.
- More attitude? A.J. smirked, The Backstreet-fans can be pretty harsh if they wanna!
- So they don't wanna make me stop dissing you then? she smirked.
- Just leave the fans alone, he muttered and rolled his eyes.
- Fine, I'll just work on your lyrics, she smiled and opened word.
That was one of the things June Omega was most famous for, she rewrote the lyrics of other artists and preformed with them.
- What? He looked, Have you redone our lyrics too?
- Two, she smirked, 'Everybody Backstreet sucks' and 'I'll never break Nick's heart'.
- I know that people likes to rewrite 'Everybody' but I haven't read any song called 'I'll never break Nick's heart', he smirked, Can I read it?
- You wanna readit? She smirked and looked at him.
- Sure.
"Maybe we are getting somewhere now" he thought.
- No, you can hear it if you wanna... I'm going to do it tonight, she smirked and looked at him, If you wanna go to my concert that is...
- Sure, is you would like to go on ours.
- Now what makes you think I wanna see four gay boys jumping around on stage?
- We are five straight men, he sighed.
- Five? she looked at him, Who's the fifth?
- We are Kevin, Howie, Nick, Brian and I.
- Which is which?
- Kev is the one you think is sexy, the one with the eyebrows...
- I know that.
- Howie is the latino guy, Nick is the blond one.
- Okay, and you are the freak. Who's Brian?
- He sings the most, dirty blond, blue eyes...
- Who?
- Come on, A.J. got up and opened the doo, You can meet him if you wanna.
- I'm not aloud to leave my hotel room, she muttered, They think I'll run away or something...
- Oh, A.J. closed the door again.
She shrugged her shoulders and turned to the computer again.
- So what are you writing on then? he walked over to her.
- I'm just changing the last words for one of Britney Spears' songs, she smirked, I'm doing 'I'm crazy' on this tour, but I'm planning on putting 'One more size' and 'I'll never break Nick's heart' in it too.
A.J. just looked at her.
- You can read 'I'll never break Nick's heart' if you wanna, she looked at him.
- Sure he smiled.
She nodded and opened the file and got up.
- There you go.
- Thanks, he smiled.
A.J. had nothing personal against Britney Spears, even though he knew she didn't like them, but getting along with June Omega was more important than most things right now.
[Note: I am very aware of that this version of 'I'll never break your heart' sucks, you don't have to tell me.]
"(spoken)
Nick I know you are hurting
You think that you will never be able to make love again
Now all I ask is for a chance
To prove that I love you
From the first day
That I saw your smiling face
Nickey, I knew that we would be together forever"
A.J. smirked, this was going to be interesting.
"Ooh, when I asked you out
You said no but I found out
Darling that you'd been hurt
You felt that you could never make love again
But I deserve a try Nickey just once
Give me a chance and I'll make the fear pass
You walked in, you were so quick to judge
But Nickey he's nothing like me"
"Some surprises" he thought.
"Chorus
I'll never break Nick's heart
I'll never make her cry
I'd rather die than live without her
I'll give her all of me
Nickey, that's no lie
(2 times)
As I watched you
I got to know you
A little more better
Girl that's the way stalking goes
And I know that you're afraid
To let your chest show
And I understand
But Nick it's time to let go
Girl, it's time to let go
I deserve a try Nickey
Just once
Give me a chance and I'll make your fear pass
You walked in, you were so quick to judge
But Nickey he's nothing like me
Darling why can't you see
Chorus (2 times)
Bridge
No way, no how
I'll make Nick cry
(2 times)
Chorus"
- That was something new, he smiled.
- You like it? she looked at him.
- Sure I do, I don't mind if people like to rewrite our songs, as long as they leave our fans alone.
- Okay, so the only way to provoke you is to provoke your fans?
- Something like that.
She just shrugged her shoulders.
- I can give you some lyrics if you want, he looked at her.
- Sure, she smiled, You just type them down in a new file okay?
He nodded and opened a new file and started writing down the lyrics of 'Get Down'.
- I think I can work on that one, she smirked, The sexy one is named Kevin right?
- Yupp, A.J. smiled.
- I'm feeling Kevin when I look in your eyes, she said, That could work...
- So you are going to attack Kevin too?
- Sure, all of you Fagstreet Boys.
- We aren't gay...
- You have girlfriends, she looked at him, Except you, wonder why...
- I don't think that you meant that in a good way, he said and looked at her.
- You think so? She looked at the screen, Are you done soon?
- Right, A.J. went back to typing, What is so fun about rewriting the songs anyway?
- It's much more fun when it's people like Britney Spears, then you really can pick on them. You guys, well all I can say is that the gay theme is the one thing that can be used, otherwise... well okay, the girly theme could be used too...
- Do you actually hate her? He looked at her again.
- Keep on writing.
- Because you always diss her if you can...
- Of course I hate Miss Plastic-fantastic Spears, what do you think?
- Why?
- I've told you, plastic-fantastic, she can't sing, plus she's a bimbo.
She opened the door.
- Yes?
- Excuse me Miss Omega, he said.
- Okay, she let him in.
He left a big cage and left the room again. She looked at the raven inside of it for a while before she opened the cage.
- Come here, she smiled.
The bird quickly flew out of the cage and out in the room. In the same second A.J. came in again.
- Is it yours? She smiled.
- What? He looked at her.
- The raven, she pointed at it.
- Um... that's Nick's. He got it from a friend of his...
- Oh, she smiled, it's beautiful...
- How did you think that we'd get it in again?
- It is trained isn't it?
- Trained?
- Yes, the raven is actually the smartest of the song-birds.
- It is?
- Yes, it can imitate other animals and humans, even the sound of the wind. You can learn them to count too, at least up to six.
- Oh?
- What's its name?
- I don't think it got a name...
- Oh, she sighed, why not?
- Nick got it from a friend... who died...
- Oh, so it probably have a name but you don't know what it is?
- Exactly.
- Okay, she smiled and walked over to the raven that sat down on the TV, Hello there.
It looked at her quietly.
- Hugin or Munin perhaps?
- I'm guessing you like ravens, he smiled.
- Pet subject, she smiled, do you know how old it is?
- No...
- A raven can become up to 50 years old in captivity.
- Okay, A.J. sighed.
- I'm guessing you aren't that interested in ravens, she smiled and picked up the raven.
- You can tell? he smirked, No, they are just a bird...
- Maybe so, she smiled and putted it back in its cage and closed the door, but they are smart birds... probably smarter than you are...
- Thank you so very much, he sighed, I'm going to get Nick so he can take it to his room.
- Fine, she sighed.
Nick walked in to the room and looked at June.
- Oh my... eh... June Omega?
- That's me, she smiled and looked at him, Nick Carter?
- Yeah... I came for my bird... You and A.J. are sharing room?
- Unfortunately yes, she sighed, If I've understood this right you don't know what the raven's name is...
- No... Sarah... died...
- I've heard... she never told you its name?
- No.
- Does it talk?
- It says 'nevermore', he said a bit surprised.
- Oh, she smiled, then maybe that's its name? When does it say it?
- If you say it...
- Nevermore, she said to the bird.
- Nevermore, it replied.
- It's trained then I guess, she smiled, can it count?
- Count?
- Yeah, raven's can do that...
- I don't know...
- Well, maybe you can check it sometime? She looked at him, It's your raven now... it's really beautiful...
He nodded.
- How did she die?
- She... um... suicide...
- Oh? But that's... that's awful! June stared at him.
- I know...
- When?
- July 10th... ten days before her birthday...
- Do you know why?
He just shook his head.
- Don't you wanna find out?
- I'd prefer just to forget...
- Did she give you something more than the raven?
- Yes, a couple of notebooks, a couple of drawings and a couple of CD's.
- Drawings?
- Of ravens.
- Oh, she liked ravens too?
He nodded.
- Hmm... maybe...
- What?
- Just a thought...
- What? He looked at her.
- Ever thought about the connection between death and the raven?
- She used to talk about it.
- She did?
- Yeah, I don't remember that much though...
- Well, June smiled, the raven is the messenger of Odin, in Norse mythology. Odin was the god of death and he had two birds, Hugin, which means 'thought' and Munin, 'memory'. They used to fly all over the world, and around breakfast time they came back and whispered what they'd seen in Odin's ears.
He looked at her. One thing crossed his mind, she was so alike Sarah.
- What?
- You remember me of her, he smiled.
- Oh? She smiled.
- You do.
It was quiet for a while.
- Do you have the notebooks with you?
- For some reason I do...
- Would you get mad if I asked you to let me in on the mystery?
- What mystery?
- Why she killed herself, June looked at him, that is always a mystery... my brother committed suicide... I miss him...
- I'm sorry...
- It's okay, that was, what could it be now, she thought for a while, five years ago.
He nodded.
- I'll go get the stuff... if you are sure if you wanna...
- Of course, she smiled.
A.J. looked at them, they'd been sitting there for a while now, going through Sarah's stuff that she'd left for Nick. He felt kind of jealous, he wanted to spend time with June, especially now when she was so friendly.
- A.J.?
He turned around.
- Shirley, hi.
- Have you seen Nick?
- He's here... with June Omega.
- What? She looked at Nick and June that were sitting on the bed going through some notebooks.
- Aha, he said and looked at her.
They looked at each other for a second. They could both tell that there was a hint of jealousy in the other's eyes.
- Well, hm, Shirley said to A.J., when they are done, doing whatever they are doing, tell Nick to find my Game Boy and give it to me.
- Sure, A.J. sighed, I'll do that... but I think I'll go and see what Kevin is doing first...
- Oh? Why not, she said.
- Yeah...
She gave him one last look before she left. A.J. was jealous of Nick, she could see that without any problems at all, it was kind of obvious.
A.J. closed the door and went to Kevin's room.
- Kev?
- Yeah? He opened the doo.
- Guess who Nick's talking too, he said.
- Shirley?
- No stupid, A.J. sighed, June Omega!
- Oh.
- Oh? That's all you got to say?
- She's human like us...
- No she's not, if you haven't noticed she's a goddess!
- She's a celebrity just like we are... not a goddess.
- Well, she got the body of one, he smirked.
- Maybe that, Kevin sighed.
- Anyway, they are talking about ravens and...
- You are jealous to death? Kevin smirked.
- Eh... no, I'm not!
- Right, of course you aren't, Kevin looked at him for a while.
- I'm not!
He nodded.
- I don't wanna listen to my own CD, she sighed, please put that awful thing away!
- You hate your own CD? Nick smirked.
- You get kind of sick and tired of the songs after a while, especially if you have to sing them every day...
- Well I like it, and there must be some reason why I got it...
- Fine, she rolled her eyes, put it on then if you now really want to...
- Thank you, he smiled.
The CD started skipping and they both turned around and looked at it.
- Which track is that? Nick looked at her.
- Track number six, it's 'Looking for something'.
- So she played that one a lot.
- Do you know how it goes?
- Majority of it...
- Wait a second, she muttered and pulled out another record, here we go.
"I'm looking for something
I don't know what it is yet
It's jus that it have to be stronger than anything
Anything else
It have to be stronger than love
Or it might end
It have to be stronger than a heart
Or it might break
I'm looking for something
I think I've encountered it before
Maybe I had it from the start
And lost it along the road
Maybe I never had it
Maybe I never will
But I kow that
It have to be stronger than love
Or it might end
It have to be stronger than a heart
Or it might break
It have to be stronger than love
Or it might, it might end
It have to be stronger than a heart
Or it might break
I'm looking for nothing
I'm looking for everything
I'm looking for anything
I'm looking for something
But...
It have to be stronger than love..."
June looked at him.
- I'm sorry, she said.
- What?
- It seems like your friend couldn't find what she was looking for...
He stared at her.
"It have to be so strong
That it can outlive love
It have to be so strong
That it can survive a broken heart
It have to be stronger than love
Or it might end
It have to be stronger than a heart
Or it might break
I'm looking for nothing
I'm looking for everything
I'm looking for anything
I'm looking for something
It have to be stronger than love
Or it might end
It have to be stronger than a heart
Or it might break..."
- You are saying that...
- She was very found of this song, June said and looked at him, Most people likes a song cause it got a message in it... I think Sarah couldn't find what she was looking for... and maybe that's why she... did as she did...
- I don't think that there's something stronger than love, Nick said and looked at her.
- Do you have a girlfriend?
- Yes.
- Do you love her?
Nick didn't answer.
- No? That's too bad, did you ever love her?
- I care for her...
- But did you ever love her?
- No.
- Okay... has there ever been someone you loved?
- My family and my friends...
- No, like in love, June looked at him.
- Um... maybe... this is embarrassing...
- It is? She smirked, Okay, but yes or no?
- Yes.
- Do you still love this person?
- I do love her, yes, he blushed.
- Who is she? June smirked.
- What? I'm not telling you that!
- But she isn't your girlfriend?
- No, Nick sighed.
- How come?
- It just... it never happened.
- Were you two together at one time?
- No, he looked at her, this is embarrassing...
- It is?
- No, you are just some stranger who I'm telling that I'm in love with a girl when no one else knows about it.
- You haven't told anyone?
He shook his head.
- Why not?
- Cause... well, cause she...
- Cause she? June smiled.
- She deserves someone better, he said after a moment of hesitation.
- Then you really love her, she smiled, or maybe you just think you do and don't make a move at her because you aren't sure... That would explain why you got a girlfriend, but you think you are in love with someone else...
- I am in love with her, he said and looked at her, it's just... I would never be able to tell her that to her face.
- How come you haven't told the guys then?
- Cause they'd make fun of me, and A.J. would definitely tell her...
- You don't like A.J.?
- What? I never said that!
- No, but the way you toned his name... you can tell...
- I like A.J.! It's just...
- Yeah?
- I rather not talk about it.
- Does she like him? June looked him in the eyes.
- I think she do.
- So you are jealous?
- You could say that...
- Jealousy is one of the most vicious things there is, she looked at a picture of a raven, Don't ever act in anger, promise me that.
- What?
- Promise me that you never will, she looked at him, Nothing good can come out of it. Trust me on this one.
- Okay, I'll try.
She looked at him for a while.
- I guess that's the best we can do, both of us.
- Since when did you start telling me what to do on stage? June hissed.
A.J. looked at her, she was talking in her mobile with someone, he didn't know whom but she was obviously pissed. It had come pretty much as soon as Nick left and now she was in a bad mood again.
- Fine! She threw the mobile at him.
- Ouch! He turned it off.
- Well I'm sorry, she muttered.
- What was that about?
- They are telling me that I'm not aloud to add any songs at all in the middle of the tour, she muttered and threw herself at the bed.
- And?
- I got a mind of my own, she muttered and looked at him, I'm going to add 'One more size', even if I have to do it a cappella.
- Oh?
- What? She glared at him.
- Nothing, I just didn't think that they could control you at all...
- You have been listening to the rumors haven't you? She looked at him, Most of them are just made up, some of them have some real base but they really aren't true...
He nodded. He really recognized that.
- And they lock me up in this room, she muttered, like I'm some kind of animal...
- You told me that.
- They don't do that to you do they? she looked at him.
- Nope, he sighed, but perhaps they should...
- Believe me, there's nothing more frustrating than being locked up in a room like it was your cell... It makes you go insane... It's like I'm an animal, they train me, I preform when they say so and they lock me up when they don't have any use for me.
- I feel sorry for you.
- Good. Do you have any idea how boring this is? The computer and the mobile are the only connection to the world.
- But the door is open, why don't you just go?
She looked at him for a while.
- Great idea, she sighed, and you know what?
- What?
- I think I'll do it right now.
- Okay, he looked at her.
She didn't even move from the bed.
- Okay, he sighed and laid down beside her.
[Note: *wiht A.J.'s raspy voice* If you lay down, lay down beside me... *cough* Just something that popped up, sorry...]
- Are you as bored as I am? She looked at him.
- I guess I am.
- How about we do something fun? She rolled over to the side.
- Sure, anything particular you wanna do?
- I don't know, she said and started playing with his hair.
- What are you doing? he smiled.
- Nothing, she sighed, I'm just so damn bored that I think I'd do anything to have some fun.
- Wow, he smirked, lead me not into temptation... I can find it myself.
- What? She laughed.
- Just a little pickup line, he smiled happy to have made her laugh.
- Really? she smiled, Anyone that's actually gone for that?
- Not really, he smiled, but it makes them laugh, like you did.
- Oh, got another one?
- I got a billion, he smiled.
- Okay, give me one.
- You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more? he smiled.
She just giggled the cutest giggle that he'd ever heard.
- Hello! I'm a theif and I'm here to steal your heart, he smirked.
- Really? she giggled.
- Yupp, he smiled.
- Got another one?
- Do you want me to go on forever?
- For a while would be nice, she sighed, or I'll get bored again.
- Okay... sex is not the answer, sex is the question, yes is the answer.
When she responded with another giggle it made him smile. The worm feeling that spread inside him made it worth all the mean stuff she'd done to him, and his fans.
- Like motel 6, I'll leave a light on for you.
She smiled again.
- Nice legs, what time do they open?
- Anytime, anywhere, but not for you, she smirked and kissed him on the cheek and sat up, Thanks Boner, I needed that.
- Don't say no to something unless you've tried it! He smiled and sat up too.
She just smiled and shook her head.
- I mean it, he said and looked at her.
- Of course you do, she smiled, but I gotta go soon, and do two interviews and then get ready for my show... Are you guys coming?
- Of course we are! He said happily, Um... right after I've asked them that is...
- But you are coming?
- Absolutely, he smiled.
- Okay, she smiled, then I'll do my best...
Howie looked at A.J.
- June Omega invites us to her concert tonight?
- Aha, A.J. nodded.
- I wanna go, Tarantella smiled.
- You like June Omega? Kevin looked surprised at her.
- Yes, she sighed, I do.
- Okay, so are you guys coming?
Everyone nodded, except Shirley.
- Shirl? A.J. looked at her.
- What?
- June Omega concert, tonight, we are going, are you coming with us?
- Sure, she mumbled.
- Good, he smiled, I'll go and tell her!
- Why didn't she ask us herself? Kevin looked at him.
- Her management has told her not to leave her room... apparently... but she asked me to ask you guys.
- Her management seems to be nice guys, Tarantella said, I'd be furious if anyone locked me up in a room.
- We know that, Howie muttered.
Brian looked at Howie, then at Tarantella. She had gone from her normal self to her angry self...
- Right Howie, you do, she said shortly and left.
- Thank you, Brian hissed to Howie.
- I'm sorry, it just... I couldn't hold it back, I'm sorry, just let her calm down...
July 26 2000 (Wednesday)
June Omega stepped out on stage again after changing clothes into a school uniform similar to the one Britney Spears was wearing in her video for 'One more time'.
- Okay, she smiled and looked at the audience, I'm going to do a couple of songs now. Britney Spears' songs, but my way.
She gave A.J. one last look before she started.
"Baby I'm so into you
I got no brain what can I do
Baby you spin me around
Oh, the Earth is moving and I'm at the ground"
She smiled and went on.
"Every time you look at me
It's really my boobies you see
Remaking them means so much more
More than anything I've ever done before"
A little short break and she went on.
"I'm crazy, I just can't sleep
My cleavage is fake and way too deep
Oh, oh, oh, crazy, I'm not alright
Baby trying to think keeps me up all night"
She hurried over to the other side of the scene and sang to some one in the audience.
"Tell me you're so into me
That my boobs are the only ones you will see
And I say that I really didn't redo these two
But I'm really wasting my money on them for you"
She smiled and got down on the floor.
"Remaking them means so much more
More than anything I've ever done before"
A.J. couldn't help smiling, she had told him that she was going to do at least two extra songs, no matter what her management thought about it, she probably were going to do just that too.
"I'm crazy, I just can't sleep
My cleavage is fake and way too deep
Crazy I'm not alright
No day and no night
I'm crazy baby
You know I'm not alright
Baby trying to think keeps me up all night"
She smiled and got up again.
"I'm crazy, I just can't sleep
Oh, oh, oh crazy I'm not alright
Baby trying to think keeps me up all night"
She looked at the audience again.
"Baby trying to think keeps me up all night"
The music changed and she smirked.
"Oh baby, baby
How was I supposed to know
That my breasts wouldn't grow, yeah
Oh baby, baby
I really have redone these two
And now my feet are out of sight, yeah
Show me what size you want them to be
Tell me baby cause I need to know now
Oh because"
She did a somersault and went back to the song.
"My chest flatness was killing me
And I, I must confess, I paid for these
I look 32, but I'm just a child
Am I a crime?
Oh, make my boobies one more size"
A little smirk and she went over to the side where the Backstreet Boys were sitting and laid down and sang to them.
"The reason you see me are these two
Oh I really blinded you
Oh pretty baby
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
But this is not the way I planded it"
She smiled and got up again.
"Show me what size you want them to be
Tell me baby cause I need to know now
Oh because
My chest flatness was killing me
And I, I must confess, I paid for these
I look 32, but I'm just a child
Am I a crime?
Oh make my boobies one more size"
Another somersault and she went over to the middle of the stage.
"Oh baby, baby
How was I supposed to know
Oh pretty boobies you are so new
And I must confess, that my chest flatness
Were killing me, and now
You know that I believe
That you will be here
And give me a sign
To make my boobies one more size"
"Long time ago, far from here
You had nothing to fear
And you only smiled for real
But someone changed that deal
Now your smile is fake
Your life was for no one to take
And you are scared to let the real you show
I just hope you'll find your way back somehow"
She gave A.J. one fast look and went over to the other side of the stage again.
"Isn't it strange
To say things you don't mean?
Doesn't it feel weird
To try to be someone you're not?"
The music changed and June looked at the audience again.
"I am more wild,
I am more wild than tame
My will is as clear as the murky water
But we both know that it's soon getting hotter
It's my love you really hunt
And you think that is what I want
But...
I am more,
I am more wild than tame
And you are still the same
You know I am more wild than tame
And you are still the same"
She stopped dancing and went over to the edge of the scene.
"Wish I could make you see
That this is really me
I am more,
I am more wild than tame
And you are still the same
You know I am more wild than tame
And you are still the same
If this hadn't been true
All me would have been for you
But I, I am
I am more
I am more wild than tame
And you are still the same
You know I am more wild than tame
And you are still the same
There is nothing you can do to change me
This is the way it has to be
Wish I could make you see"
She reached out to one of the fans and shook her hand.
"That this is really me
If this hadn't been true"
She got up again.
"All me would have been for you
But I am, I am
I am more
I am more wild than tame
And you are still the same
You know that I am more wild than tame
But still you are the same"
- Okay boys and girls, she smiled and waved to the audience, just one more song, then I really, really gotta go...
A.J. looked at the watch; the concert was supposed to end within five minutes.
"People come and go in your life
I'm just a visitor, I'm not staying long"
She looked at the audience. A.J. knew what she was thinking, soon all of this would be gone, and she couldn't stop it.
"Time passes by oh so quickly
Nothing if for sure
Don't take anyone or anything for granted
Then it will soon be gone"
He could see something in her eyes when she looked at him again. She was sad, even though she seemed to love this she was sad.
"Time goes by so fast
The past is still the past
And the future is now
Maybe it can be you and me again somehow
Not very likely
But it could happen
Time passes by oh so quickly
I wish we could slow it down"
A little instrumental break and the song went on.
"Time goes by so fast
The past is still the past
And the future is now
Maybe it can be you and me again somehow
Time goes by oh so fast
Tell me how we can make it last
Last just a little bit more"
She looked out in the audience, like if she was looking for someone.
"Let's stop and think about what we've done
Yes we might cry when we remember the sad ones
Can't change that
That belongs to the past"
She left the stage even though the music went on.
After a minute or two the lights went out and when it went on again, there she was.
"Forgive me for being me
Forgive me for letting it all be
Forgive me for loving you
Forgive me for being true
Please forgive me
Please forgive me for all I couldn't be
Please forgive my mistakes
Please forigve my heartaches"
She smiled and went over to the edge of the scene.
"I thought I could change the world that's why I did it
In the normal girl section I won't fit
Don't belong to the sound
I never wanted to be bound
I thought I could change the world that's why I did it
Please forgive me
Please forgive me for all I couldn't be
Please forgive my mistakes
Please forgive my heartaches"
A.J. looked at her, she really meant what she was singing, or she was really good at acting like she did.
"Forgive me for not being like you
Forgive me for being true
Forgive me for all I couldn't be
Forgive me for being me
I thought I could change it all
That's why I stood tall
I thought I was someone
That's why I told my opinion for everyone"
A little smile and she went back to the dancing routines.
"Forgive me for not being like you
Forgive me for being true
Forgive me for all that I couldn't be
Forgive me for being me
Please forgive me
Please forgive me for all I couldn't be
Please forgive my mistakes
Please forgive my heartaches"
She stopped her dancing and looked right in the camera.
"I know I'm not like you
But I thought that I would do
Forgive me for believing that I was someone
Forgive me for telling my opinion for everyone"
A little cute smile and she music stopped.
- I got one thing to say to you all, she smiled, and that is...
The music started again.
"I will rise again
This is not the end
Oh I will rise again
I will rise again
This is not the end
Like a Phoenix I will rise again
It is far from the end
Oh I will rise again"
She took a couple of steps back.
"You can't push me down
Cause I'm stronger than you
Soon I'll move away from town
There are things I can do to oh
I will rise again
This is not the end
Like a Phoenix I will rise again
It is far from the end
Oh I will rise again"
She went over to where he was sitting and looked him in the eyes.
"This wounded bird will rise again
And fly, fly over the sky
I will rise again
This is not the end
Like a Phoenix I will rise again
It is far from the end
And you know I will rise again"
She smiled and hurried over to the middle again.
"And like a Phoenix I will fly
I will fly over the sky
Far away from you
Far away from them
I will rise again
This is not the end
Like a Phoenix I will rise again
It is far from the end
I will rise again
Oh, I will rise again
Rise again
And you can't keep me down
Cause I will rise again
Like a Phoenix I will rise again
It is far from the end
And I will rise again"
She backed again.
"You can't break my wings
And you can't break my mind
Like a Phoenix I will rise again
And fly far away from you
And far away from them
Far away..."
She waved to the audience and left the stage.
July 27 2000 (Thursday)
She looked at A.J. who was laying beside her.
- What? He looked at her.
- Nothing.
- I liked your concert, he smiled.
- Thank you, she mumbled.
It was quiet for a while.
- Is it just I or is this really embarrassing? He looked at her.
- It is embarrassing, she mumbled, I don't even know you...
- I know, he smirked, and we haven't even had sex.
- Is that all that's on your mind? She giggled.
- No, there's something more on it, he smiled, I just can't find it...
She smiled and looked at him.
- I'm going to try to sleep now, she smiled, okay?
- You wanna sleep? He smirked, Are you sure?
- Yes I'm sure, she giggled and hit him with the pillow, Shut up now! I'm tired!
- Of course ma'am, what ever you say ma'am.
- Just shut up, she sighed.
- Okay, he smiled, I'll do that.
July 27 2000 (Thursday)
- I'm sorry Jenny, Nick said, But it's better this way...
- But, Jenny tried to find a way to say what was on her mind in words, Why? What's wrong?
- Jenny, I really care about you, but... I don't love you... It's for the better...
A.J. slowly opened his eyes, sometime during the night she had rolled over to his side and she was resting her head on his shoulder.
There was a knock on the door.
- What? He looked up.
The door opened and a maid looked in.
- I'm sorry, she said, I'll come back later...
- Okay, he smiled.
The maid left and closed the door behind her.
- What? June opened her eyes and looked at him, How did I get to this side of the bed?
- I'm guessing you rolled here, she smiled, sorry that I woke you up.
- Um... that's fine... I guess...
- It was the maid that came, he looked at the clock, and she's half past eleven a.m....
- Oh, and we are still sleeping?
- Not really, we are awake now, he smirked.
- Unless you want the first thing I do today to be kicking your ass you cut that out, she smiled.
- Sorry, he smiled.
Kevin, Howie, Mathilda and Shirley looked at him.
- You broke up with Jenny? Kevin smiled.
- Yeah, Nick nodded.
- Good, only two to go, Howie said and looked at him.
- What? Mathilda looked at Howie and then at Nick.
- Um... right, Nick looked at Shirley, You haven't told her?
Shirley just shook her head.
- Okay... um...
- Nick had three girlfriends at the same time, said Kevin, and he just broke up with the one that lives in Australia.
- Three girlfriends?! Mathilda looked at him.
- Yeah, Nick avoided looking her in the eyes.
- That's so... eh... Hur djävla dum i huvudet kan man bli egentligen? She hissed, Du... man gör inte så!
- What? Kevin looked at her a bit surprised.
- Du är ett djävla svin! She hissed and left the room.
- What did she say? Nick looked at the others.
- That you were an idiot and that you were a pig, Shirley said coldly.
- How did you understand that? Howie looked at her.
- My father is from Norway, she rolled her eyes, Swedish and Norwegian are pretty close...
- Great, I've just broken up with a girlfriend and now people get mad at me? Nick rolled his eyes, This is so great...
- You just break up with either Kathleen or Ashley too and everything will be alright, Howie sighed.
- I will...
- Preferably Kathleen, Shirley said and left the room.
- Everybody hates me don't they? He looked at Kevin and Howie.
- Um... yeah...
- Thank you Kevin...