purpleman

All was well in Backstreet Land until that one bizarre package arrived.....

"Look everybody! We got a present!" Brian said, holding up the shiny blue package for everyone to see. All the boys - minus Nick who was asleep in his bunk - gathered around Brian as he unwrapped the gift. He opened up the top of the box and -
out popped a one foot tall little purple man.
"Behold the power of ME! For I am Sir. Idisyamama and YOU are my slaveboys!!" cried the little man, jumping up and down on Brian's leg while flailing his arms about.
"I ain't no little purple man's slaveboy." AJ said, tipping his sunglasses down to the tip of his nose. Sir Idisyamama narrowed his little purple eyes at AJ. "Yes! Yes you are! Watch as I show you!!" And with that he floated into the air, flying across the bus, releasing a stinky purple smoke as he went. He flew outside, and was gone - leaving the four boys coughing and hacking because of the horrible stinky odor.
*~Meanwhile~*
Nick awoke from his nap confused. And hungry. But mostly confused about all the comotion going on. He climbed out of his bunk and walked into the main part of the bus.
"YO! Why's it all purply in here? And what's that SMELL?! It smells like sh-"
He stopped in midsentence when he realized what he was looking at.
"Howie, I've gotta ask..."
There, standing on the table, was Howie. Howling at the top of his lungs and wearing a cowboy costume - complete with the toy guns that he was firing in the air. He stopped howling and looked at Nick. "Wer uv' you been partner? Yer gonna miss me cookin' this here goat fer supper." Nick looked down, and there was a goat - sitting patiently on the floor in front of Howie, with a cowbell around it's neck. Whoa. How'd he miss THAT?
"Okaaaaaaaaay....Howie, man what's wrong with you? Nick asked, a worried look on his face.
"Nuttin's wrong wit me partner whut's wrong wit YOU?! Yer the one lookin' at this here goat like he ain't normal!" Howie turned around to climb down from the table - and that's when Nick realized Howie was wearing no pants under his chaps. "UGH! Howie! Your ASS is hanging out dude, put that UP!" Nick cried, covering his eyes with both his hands. And it was true. Howie's bare behind was very much exposed. He turned and pointed his toy gun at Nick. Nick spread his fingers to peep through his hands. "This here's how all the cowboys dress, partner!! Now you done hurt my feelin's! You don't get NO goat tonight!" Howie shouted, and ran out of the bus shooting his guns in the air.
"Weird..." Nick muttered, and plopped himself down on the couch.
"Baaaaaaaaaaaa!!!" said the goat.
Nick jumped, startled. "Why don't you shut up?....Damn goat....."
In walked AJ and Kevin. Nick caught site of Kevin and sighed...WHY did he think they'd be any different?!
Kevin was dressed in a white karate uniform with his hair colored gray, and a black headband on. "Aye, son. I see you have learned well from the goat."
"What!?"
"Patience my dear son, patience. Patience is a virtue. Which can be learned from the goat, my son."
"Kevin! What does a goat have to do with anything?! And WHY are you talking like Mr.Miagi from the Karate Kid?!"
"I no longer go by the name of Kevin. I am now Kevona-hee." he bowed at the waist to Nick, who just stared at him. AJ clanged a pair of symbols together.
"Fighting stance...." AJ said.
Kevin jumped into postition.
"FIGHT!" AJ shouted, and backed away from the two. Nick just stood there, even more confused.
"Kevin what are you going to - " Nick stopped mid-sentence when he saw what Kevin - well - Kevona-hee, had starting doing. He was repeatedly attacking the air in front of Nick with a series of kicks and punches.
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYY-YAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" He cried, jumping in the air and kicking the air in front of Nick's face.
"FIGHT BREAK!" AJ yelled, stepping in between the two of them and waving his arms back and forth. Kevona-hee returned to his "normal stance."
"I am sorry I had to teach you that way my son. But it was the only way to teach you the true meaning of the monkeys."
"The monkeys? Kevin - uh - *Kevona-hee* why are you acting strangley!? And AJ, what are you DOING?" he turned to AJ.
AJ's eyes widened and he pointed straight ahead of him. "The goat is smiling at me!! Do you see that?? NICK! LOOK!!!! DEVIL GOAT, DIE!!!!!!!!!" AJ hurled himself at the goat, tackling it to the ground. "DIE BASTARD GOAT,DIE!!" AJ screamed at the top of his lungs. The goat "baaa-ed" loudly and bit AJ on the finger. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Nick! I've been bit by the evil goat! Kill me Nick! I am to be no more!!!!!!" AJ got off the floor and ran up and down the length of the bus, screaming obsenities at the goat the whole time. The goat sat calmly on the floor, staring at him.
Nick was bewildered. What's going ON?! Everybody's on the insane boat and he's still at the harbor.
"AJ do not panic, my son. The goat will be eaten tonight by the fire in honor of the gods of Monkey Land." Kevona-hee said.
AJ stopped running and sat on the couch. "Well if you put it that way..."
!*!CRASH!*!
Brian appeared in the middle of the bus, he appeared to have broken in from the ceiling....
"BRIAN! What are you doing! There's a big hole in the top of the bus now! And - and how were you UP THERE!? The bus is moving!!!!!!" Nick cried, waving his arms around for emphasis. "I give up! I wanna go home!!! You all are CRAZY!!!!!!"
Brian put his hands on his hips. Well, one hand. The other was holding a cup of coffee.
"I'm not CRAAAAAAAZZZZZZZY! I'm SUPER BRIAN! Lord of the Chipmunks!!!!" he gulped the last of his coffee down and threw the mug, which landed beside the goat.
Brian took off his pants and stood there in a t-shirt, boxers and cowboy boots. He tied the pants around his neck so that they hung behind him like a cape, and jumped up onto the table. "I AM SUPER BRIAN! I am on a chipmunk mission to find the most bootylicious person to bring back to the House Of Chipmunks!" *twitch*
Nick had noticed that Brian kept....winking. But it was more of a twitch that knocked his whole head to the side.
"Frick, you can't go crazy on me too. You're not the Lord of the Chipmunks..you're Brian Littrel....Kevin's cousin...." Nick tried to reason.
"I AM LORD OF THE CHIPMUNKS! *twitch* and YOU are bootylicious! Come with me, man they call Nick. *twitch* I have some chipmunks that need to borrow your pants..."
Brian jumped down from the table and grabbed Nick by the shoulders.
"BRIAN! You OR you're chipmunk friends are NOT getting my PANTS! And calling me bootlicious is very gay of you, Brian. What about Leighanne? Have you talked to her yet?" Nick removed Brian's hands from his shoulders.
"Leighanne...yes..yes, of course....*twitch* Leahanne will be my Chipmunk Queen. I must find her first. *twitch* OFF I GO!!" Brian took off towards the back of the bus.
Nick shook his head and sat down.
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! GO TO BACK TO HELL GOAT!!!!! You thought you defeated me but I AM BACK! My hand still hurts you BASTARD! " AJ ran towards the goat, throwing m&m's at it the whole time. The goat stood up and took off towards the back of the bus. Aj ran after it, the bag of m&m's as his ammunition.
Nick layed down on the couch, and, over all the noise - he managed to take a nap.
He woke up to someone tapping his head. He opened his eyes and saw....the little purple man sitting on his chest.
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Nick yelled at the small person.
His little eyes narrowed and he stared deeply at Nick. "Why don't you like me?," he asked, slowly and menacingly. "I didn't do any of this to you, and yet you yell at me. You're going to make me cry, big man."
Nick looked at him confused. "What's your name? And why are you here? And why are all my friends LOONY?!"
The man put his hands on his hips and leaned forward. "My name is Sir. Idisyamama. Pleased to meet you." Nick raised his eyebrows and shook his tiny little purple hand.
"I am here, because my job is to make people insane. It seems to have worked quite well on your measly friends."
"Umm.. ok little dude. But, how 'bout you make 'em un-insane? I have to work with these people."
"No. Hmph." Sir. Idisyamama crossed his arms over his chest.
"Come on, please? I'll make a deal with you. Anything you want."
He thought a moment, tapping his little finger on his chin. How about you introduce me to those fellows of Nsync? I noticed they have said they 'drove themselves crazy'. I bet i could do much better in that field."
An evil grin spread across both their faces.
"Deal."
The last thing Nick remembered was a poof of purple stinky smoke in his face.
"Nick....wake up buddy we're here." Brian shook him lightly by the shoulders. Nick slowly opened his eyes to see all four of his bandmates standing around him, and Brian's face was closest to his.
"Where's Sir. Idisyamama??" Nick asked, a confused expression on his face.
"You WHAT? What'd you say about my moma!!!!?" AJ started towards him. Brian held him back. "No, no AJ. He's been asleep. He don't know what his talkin' about." Brian smiled at Nick.
"Why are we stopped?" Nick asked, rubbing his eyes.
"Somebody left a note at the front of the bus to stop at Nsync's concert. They're gonna ride with us for a little while." Kevin explained to him.
"Hey, what's this?," Howie asked, picking up the remnants of the shiny blue box. "You get a present from a fan, Nick?"
"Ummm....yeah....." Nick smiled. This was gonna be funnnnnnn........
AJ chimed in, "What the hell happened to the roof!!?"
Nick grinned. Oh yeah. Nsync's goin' down......