I looked around the room to try to place where the sound had come from. I had just opened my eyes and I was still woozy from sleeping and I was not able to see as good as I was hoping. I rubbed my eyes hoping that would help. I blinked several times and I saw what was making the noise. Was I dreaming? No.. But I wish I had been.


Fans. Something every girlfriend who was in this inner circle so to speak had to deal with. I was a girlfriend of a Backstreet Boy. One of the hottest trends of this time. Yea that was a good thing,.. but also a bad. Many girls lie awake and night and dream of dating one of these young men... but at night I dreamed of dating someone else. Many times I thought of leaving it all behind, that he wasn't worth the evil glares or the death threats we recieved by mail once they had found out who I was, but when I really thought about was I was saying, I knew I was only trying to get out the easy way. For I loved this man. And nothing should ever make me feel differently. He loved the fans...the fans loved him. What we didn't know was that sometimes fans go a little to far to get what they want.


Being a girlfriend was hard. It was harder when he was a Backstreet boy. And it became hardest when he was Nick Carter. Every where I went with him I got looks and stares. I knew it was bad when I was out on my own and saw the same looks. I knew that there had to have been hate sites for me and yahoo clubs and whatever else these fans could get their hands on to. I knew they had pictures of me mutilated with bad words across them saying how I was ugly or fat. But that wasn't really bothering me. What bothered me was that someone out there probably wanted to kill me. And was dead serious. Lying in my bed alone at night never really helped my un-easy feelings either. Having Nick not there sometimes was just killing me. I was lonely and at times so desperate..I was thinking of flying to where he was just to get laid. Yes thats sad me. I finally found something that made me take my mind of off sex and lonliness. The internet. The one place I told myself I would never go. I guess curiosity does get the cat after all.

The first time I logged on i had so many things to learn. Yea I had used a computer but I had never "minguled" with anyone. I had to learn the lingo and create accounts and so on. Yahoo was the first place I came. I guess Nick had this as his home page. How nifty. I went directly to yahoo clubs forgetting I had to have an account.. I quickly pushed the back button before the page loaded..but a flash of the screen's contents send me going back to where I had come from. It seems as tho Nick already had a name and was in clubs already. I went back to the screen and found harm-less Nick Carter and bsb clubs. I was thankful they werent pornographic and who knos what else he might be interested in. I went back to the yahoo main screen and decided to go to check mail. Yea so I'm nosey...get over it.

"Hmmm 23 news messages. This might be interesting."

I searched down the list and found just a whole load of shit.

"Adds adds adds.....wait, wait....who the hell is Kim Hope?"

I stopped at an e-mail from a girl that had "Hey Nick" as her subject. I clicked on the e-mail and read.

Nick,
Hey you! Just wanted to say hello. It's been some time since you last e-mailed me and I wanted to make sure everything was alright. So how's the tour? Oh and how's your girlfriend? He name's Alexandria right?

                                     ~*~ Kim ~*~

I pushed the back button and marked her e-mail as un-read and jotted down her e-mail address. She seemed nice unlike some of the things I had heard people say. Maybe I should say something. Try to get myself a fan or two. With that I turned of the pc and went to bed.

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Nick called that morning waking me from my slumber. I decided not to ask him about his account since I mean he never told me before..and some privact is ok with me.

"Hello." I said warily.
"Hey baby boo.... aww baby did I wake you up?"
"Yes...damnit Carter! I was dreaming that you were home..."
"Well the tour only has 6 more days..I'm sure you'll live."
"Ya kno..I used to think that. But I'm not sure any more..I miss you so much."
"I miss you to baby.... well I'm about to head out for breakfast with the boys.. just wanted to tell you i love you and good morning."
"Eat some food for me and dont forget to tell Howie that he still owes me that damn money.."
"Alright I will sweetie.. good back to sleep and dream about when i come home."
"haha...those may be x-rated but I sure will...love ya sweetie."
"Love ya too..night night"

I with that we hung up the phone.

I decided to get out of bed after all and make some breakfast. I was starving and I needed to do some cleaning. After all in 6 days we could finally be together again... and at peace. Or I thought.

After hours and upong hours of cleaning I took a break...logging online once again. This time I made and account and decided to e-mail that girl.

"Like shes really ever gonna beilieve this..haha suure"

I typed up a small e-mail telling her how I found out about her and how I would like to talk.

"send... hmm wheres that damn send button??.....a ha!"

I pushed the send button and off it went. I then went to sleep.

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